I’m in a quandry and am after some advice! I’m thinking of when I should start going commando? By the way, I’m talking no head scarves here and not no knickers!!! Been doing that for ages! LOL, only messing! Anyway, I’m nearly finished chemo now and my hair is growing back quite nicely. So, my quandry is this, when should I be brave and venture out without a scarf or wig???
I know there are many people that have quite happily gone out commando throughout their chemo but I’m not one of them. I’m very confident and couldn’t really give a stuff about what anyone might say usually, but this makes me quite nervous! I’ve prob got more hair now than when it was a No3, so I’m not really sure why I’m worrying so much but I am. I know there’s no real rush but I’ve never really liked wearing my wig anyway and I’d so love to go out without a bl**dy scarf on.
Should I be brave and take the plunge or should I wait a bit longer??
Any advice or opinions will be gratefully received as ever!
I went “commando” as you call it the day after I finished radiotherapy, it was short and dark as ever and the middle of winter but I moussed up and went to a Christmas event locally so people could used to seeing my short curly hair - it had been long and straightened for over 30 years although mostly tied back or up, for work reasons.
Go for it but don’t wear your cabbage kit at the same time in case any little kids are around!!
If you feel comfortable with it just go for it. I did not mind too much wearing my wig. Once my hair started to grow back I got it trimmed into a bit of shape at my hairdresser, just to get straggly ends evened up. It looked a bit patchy. Then I just went without the wig and never put it on again.
I still keep my hair quite short as I like it that way and it is so easy to look after.
So, if you feel ready go with it. I was amazed that even though I did not mind wearing my wig, the first time I went without it I felt as if I was becoming me again and felt it was another step forward in my treatment.
Hello Kelly, it sounds to me as if you are ready to take the plunge, but just be careful weather wise - if it is very hot you probably ought to protect your tender new scalp to begin with, and it is is cold - well you might need a hat anyway.
Congratulations on getting towards the end of your cehmo. I’m right at the start but it’s good to know that life goes on…
I can really relate to this, Kelly. My hair is growing back now, but still very short, and very grey! I don’t think I want to admit publicly to how grey I am, so am considering dying it before I bare all. But do I dye it the dark brown I was, or should I take the opportunity to reinvent myself as a blonde?! And should I do it myself or go to a hairdresser? I can’t believe that I am finding headscarves preferable to hair!
I have been wondering this myself - although I’m still waiting for my bloomin hair to grow back (three weeks post chemo) !!
It sounds as if yours has been sprouting quite well, so I’d say go for it girl, and go commando ! Having said that Kelly, it’s getting colder now, so you may get a shock when you first go outdoors ! (take a hat in your bag just in case - LOL)
You do whatever you feel comfortable with hon, and let us know how you get on !
Thank you so much for all your responses. Well, I was determined to go out commando yesterday, then lost my bottle at the last minute!!! Because I have had very long hair for years I feel quite ‘butch’ (for want of a better word!) with such short hair, and I don’t really feel like ‘me’. Trouble is, I can’t keep wearing scarves and stuff cause my hair is getting longer and longer, so I’ve gotta take the plunge sooner or later.
So, I think I’ve now decided that my first outing out ‘commando’ will be a week on Weds when I go for my final day 1 CMF. That way I think I will feel more comfortable as I’ll be amongst others who are in the same situation. I’m hoping that that will then give me the confidence to go commando all the time. Fingers crossed!
Jane - be careful when dyeing it the first time. Use a vegetable dye or a wash in wash out type one. Apparently we should steer clear of of semi-permanent or permanent colours for at least 6 months post chemo. I’m gonna do mine pink I reckon, before I go back to work and have to dye it brown again!
I too had to make the decision to ditch the wig or not. I haven’t worn it for a week now. It feels very liberating without it, but a little cold! At first it felt strange but now I have got used to it, I even went into school (I am a teacher) without it, expecting titters/comments from the children and only one child commented, asking if I’d had it cut. You are starting rads soon aren’t you, it’s much easier there because more people have extremely short hair. I have always been quite vain, spending a lot of time doing my hair and face, it’s amazing me how much I’ve changed my opinion about looks being important. Now I can see myself in the mirror and think I look awful, then immediately think that i couldn’t care less what others think!
Good luck with the new image! I know what you mean about feeling butch - I’ve never worn so much lilac and pink before!
thanks v,much for your comments, I really do appreciate them.
Nicky - I know exactly what you mean about wearing pink, I try to look really ‘girlie’ these days, more so than ever before. Make-up is absolutely my best friend too! Yeah, I am a bit worried about the cold now the weather is on the turn. My head has been so used to being well wrapped up in scarves it’ll be a shock I reckon! Got some lovely hats though so better dig them out!
Marilyn - did I read on another thread that Sarah’s hubby has left her again? Don’t mean to pry so please don’t think I’m being nosey,
Don’t think you’re being nosy. It helps to curse him.
Tthe &*"@?~+, he was moving back in at the end of August, he unloaded his stuff out of the car, sat down and gave Rory a cuddle, said this feels funny, I don’t think I’m doing the right thing, loaded his stuff back in car and buggered off. We had an emergency dash to Oxfordshire.
Sarah is in a bit of a state, which hasn’t helped my state of mind. The only good thing is that her lump is fibroadenoma, and he did go to the hospital with her.
It helps that you are all brilliant when it comes to one anothers’ problems.
what an ar**hole he is!! Sounds to me like Sarah’s better off without him, harsh but fair! Its a shame that you live so far away from Sarah and that she’s in a bit of a state right now. Great news about her lump though, that must be huge relief.
I went 'commando for the first time yesterday!! I have barely a covering on my head, but thought what the hell I was far to warm for a hat and I was going to hospital for my rads anyway. Only problem was the radiographer didn’t recognise me in the waiting room - she was looking for my bunnet!! I felt so chuffed with myself! Not brave enough to go out in public yet, but soon I hope!
I STILL haven’t managed to go commando ‘properly’ yet. I did put the bin out earlier without a scarf on but no one was around so don’t think it counts really!!
I’m thinking I will defo go commando when I go for my final day 1 CMF chemo next week. That way I’ll be broken in gently, just like you when you went for your rads! I’m not surprised you’re chuffed with yourself, I will be too I reckon!
I’m soooo looking forward to it as I’m bored of wearing scarves now. Enough already! LOL!!
I first went commando with the postman. He looked at me and smiled. The next time was on a walk in an area where I did not know anyone. It’s a great feeling and soon I did not care what anyone might think.
I have been hairless for 2 weeks now and i am still diving for a scarf or hat any time the door goes. Guess that will stop soon. Pity the poor first person who comes the door when i forget or don’t care.
I put the washing out one day when I was newly bald and gave the children next door a right fright!! I hadn’t even thought about it and at the time it really upset me. Then the postie caught me off guard and I just sort of got used to it.
Now I’ve actually got hair and I still can’t bring myself to venture out without my scarf!
There is a wicked side of me that wishes i had the courage to take advantage of my new found baldness for Halloween. We always go the full hog and decorate the house with candles and spooky music.
The possibilities for frightening some small or not so small children with my bald head are endless.
Unfortunately i am a bit of a chicken and probably wont have the courage.
Cheap costumes also spring to mind. Voldemort from Harry potter or a large wrinkly baby.
well, tomorrow could be the day!!! I am going in to work to have a brew and a natter with my colleagues and am seriously toying with the idea of making that my first ‘commando’ outing.
I’d really love them to see how far I’ve come. Off to do the shopping afterwards so I suppose I could always take a scarf with me in case I can’t face that!
Lesley - thanks for that post, it really made me chuckle,
but it’s good to know that life goes on…