Come back Yvonne… we all at some point go down but the best part of being there is when the body says thats enough and the motivation kicks back in, in the olden days baths were only taken once a month so dont fret the little stuff sweetie cos it becomes too big to deal with… and we are troopers we get back up again!! song comes to mind again 
“I get knocked down but I get up again” this is my signature tune Hope it helps you hon… sing it when that Gremlin wont get off your shoulder!! I sing it all the time when I feel the lows coming on and they do… and my vocal offering is enough to make anyone laugh… even myself xxx
Stella glad you finally sorted the computer out mines playing up too the security wont update so I think i’m going to throw the blessed thing in the bin if it bleeps me anymore to say failed!!! nice to hear from you all again
I have the dreaded meet up with our Sister on the ward today re… sickness (thumb) I got a letter a few weeks back to have a meet with her and discussion about how they can help??? she has cancelled it 3 times now so its obviously not priority!! Tho it did upset me when she wrote I realize you have ongoing issues at home with your daughter we need to discuss ways of dealing with this HA HA HA!!! its been going on with poor old Vikki since end of feb, and in all that time I didnt get any support so I dont know what she will come up with this time… There will be no holding of the breath in this part of the country if it has’nt come in the past 7 months I dont think a miracle will happen now?
Well girlies the rain stopped but is’nt it chilly 
work soon so better get that coffee and shower sorted!
Just about keeping my head above the water with Vik’s bless her she is a floundering flutterby too
Love and hugs always and for you Yvonne spoons a plenty flutter gently xxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxxx
Yvonne please contact your B.C nurse as I am sure she will help.I know last year when I felt down mine was of great benefit to me just by letting me give vent to my feelings.Take care sweetheart we are all here for you HUGE HUG XXXXX
Doz hope meeting goes okay just count to 10 before blowing your stack lol
Everyone else keep warm and dry don’t get those wings wet and hugs and spoons aplenty Janice xxx
Hi Flutterbys
Doz, what a run of bad luck Vikki is having, she must be feeling so down, and just when you’ve both had a lovely time at Ragdale! You must be tearing your hair out with it all, coping with your own problems as well. I should think your tanks are indeed running dry, as you say, flutterby! I’m sending a big hug to you both….and don’t forget to tell Vikki, as you can’t have them both!! Ha ha! (Reminds me of myself when I walked the dog and slipped) Do hope your meeting went well!
Not rained for all of the day today but very dull and autumnal. Everything is so wet and a fox keeps digging holes in the garden, I guess to look for worms to eat? I think winter has set in, Janice. I see you’ve had floods and bad weather in your part of the country, hope you haven’t seen much! Hope things are looking up a bit for you and you’re not too down. All the stronger these days after what you’ve been through, flutterby!
Stella, so glad your little grandaughter is a tonic to you, such an interesting age when she will be discovering all kinds of new things! What a joy!
Oh, Yvonne, I wondered where you were. I hate to think of you being the way you feel! You sound so, so, very sad. Will you tell someone who can help? I had a couple of blips after treatment had finished when I could hardly put one foot in front of the other and I had to have the doctor call, but it didn’t last more than a few days. I wouldn’t like to think you’re in a downward spiral, flutterby as it’s a long climb back up once you’re at the very bottom. I would like to see you posting often to tell us all how you are, please don’t leaving it for a long time. I think about you when you don’t, wondering if you’re OK! Unfortunately we can only post to each other, not be there in person, but I’m sending a big bear hug to help you get up and go, hold your head high and show you mean business!! Don’t forget we’re here for you!
Hoping everyone else is doing fine, we’ll soon be welcoming Emmy home, won’t we?
Love to all wherever you are, Ami xx
Ami we are lucky where we live doesn’t have a flood problem but Morpeth is only 7 miles away and it is devastating for some of them again as a few have only just moved back into their homes from 4 years ago.Hope you are keeping okay sounds like you are coping well sometimes I think its bcause I haven’t got enough to occupy me then I start to feel down but feeling a lot better these past few days maybe because its coming up to mammo time and its all psychological even though I feel fine.
Yvonne hope you are doing something to get the help you need I know its hard to find someone to talk to sometimes but you can post on here or even send p.ms if you need to, take care and post soon xxx
To all you very busy flutterbys don’t work too hard keep some energy for yourselves love and hugs to all Janice xxxxx
how did meeting go Doz???
Love to all… Jane xx and HUGS to those in need of one!
Just been catching up on all your posts…
Yvonne-you sound so very down, please, please, please go and see somebody to get yourself some help; post on here so we know how you are doing, and as Janice said, send p. ms if you need to…don’t go under the radar my lovely…
Doz-really hope Vicky’s ok…so worrying for both of you. Hope the meeting with the ward sister went well too. Ragdale sounds fab…I want to go!
Well, just returned from Mull and what a great place…so peaceful…no traffic lights, streetlights or even roundabouts come to think of it…just single roads with passing places…lots of lochs and wildlife-we saw red and fallow deer, mountain hares, sparrowhawk, tawny owl roosting, sea eagles, otters and hen harrier…wonderful…hardly any shops though so had to stock up before taking the ferry from Oban…I took loads of things to do such as books to read, knitting, sketch book etc but we were out all day every day and were so tired in the evening it was all we could do to eat, watch a bit of tv then sleepiness kicked in…bliss
Got home to find my best friend is off work with stress because of her manager and has a meeting with the ‘high ups’ on 12th Oct…she’s asked me to go along for support which I will of course. Why some managers go out of their way to upset and harass people is beyond me…
Anyhow, the Rayburn man has just arrived to service the Rayburn so gotta go…love to all you flutterbies
Jane xx
Sounds like you had a fab time Jane2 just my kind of holiday.I agree with what you say about managers it seems like everyone is just a number these days and loyalty counts for nothing it doesn’t matter how hard you try they always want more.Thank goodness I have finished with all that now.
Doz me to wondering how meeting with sister went hope you got some satisfaction(probably not)
gijane seems like you are a busy bee at the moment but still good to hear from you.
Yvonne how are you doing hope you are getting help hug xxx
love to everyone else just off for bath and into p.js and snuggle down with a glass of wine take care Janice xxx
Sunday morning… day off (as such) first in 5 days its ok doing short shifts but it seems i’m never home and if I am its catch up time Oh woe is me… I offered to do an escort on my last day off I was told it was a couple of hrs?? so didnt mind to much as the little biddy off our ward had no one to go to an out patients app with… my meeting with sister was cancelled on tues so she asked me to go in early for the escort… so I did… and she cancelled again I somehow think it is’nt going to happen and when it does it will have lost its meaning as the support has, so the 2 hr escort ended up being 7 hrs as when we finally got to the other hospital Transport forgot to come back for us… that was wednesday and i’ve been working 12 to 8’s since, the word pooped comes to mind!!
So pleased you had a good time at Mull Jane its a beautiful place and like Janice my kind of holiday… total peace
My heart goes out to the flood victims again its soul destroying for them
Vikki is back at fracture clinic in the morning to see the Specialist so fingers and toes crossed all goes well as my tank is dry at the moment
Yvonne I hope and pray by now you have had the chance to have a heart to heart with your BC nurse they are so good at listening and putting things into perspective hon if you hav’nt dont forget your flutterby friends as one of us will be able to help you were here cos we all feel the same I do hope your ok and let us know how things are now and then loads of love and spoons on the way to you as ever xxxxhugxxx
My 2nd yr app is due soon and with things being bad staff wise on the ward I rang to see when my nov app was due so I could get the day off and they are telling me i’m not due till Jan??? ER NO!!! ITS NOVEMBER… and i’m already phsyc’d up for it now dont think I can hold out till Jan its my milestone and important… so decided to ring them again tomorrow and be a complete nuisance sob!!!
My love to all and big hugs to those in need of one with a ton of spoons flutter gently xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sounds like you need extra large hug Doz so one on its way.Iwas initially told I would have checks 6 monthly for 2 years then yearly but in April they told me not to go back for a year and I will just have my mammo next month I think sometimes cos we don’t bother anyone we get forgotten.I am getting a bit wound up for my mammo and also have questions I need answered so going to ring and ask if I can see a b.c n on the same day.Hope you get sorted as its worrying enough without having to wait longer.Take care and do try to get a bit of me time you sure need it.
Hope everyone else is doing ok and Yvonne let us know how you are as we worry about how you are coping
love and hugs to all Janice xxx
Another extra large hug Doz… very odd how othe anniversaries provoke such strong emotions - I was totally taken by surprise. Hope you get your appointment in November. Yvonne - have a hug too… you really do need it! Recognising we need help is more than half the battle…
Ms Lyn Fedema has been getting worse. Saw LD nurse who told me to wear my sleeve all day, not just mornings… so I did… hand came up! I continued as instructed… hand got worse every day… cound’t find a contact number for LD Nurse, and a member of MacMillan team said I needed help, and contacted the LD nurse at the hospice. He did home visit and offered me manual drainage on Wed… what do I tell LD Nurse? Up to me, says he cheerfully… anyway it continued to get worse, so I rang LD nurse - on a course, but her colleague phoned back and saw me… gave me left-over glove and gauntlet…and showed me how to do MLD on my arm myself… been doing that and it stopped getting worse and is a LITTLE better… first nurse rang today, and I 'fessed I’d been put in touch with hospice (in fear and trembling) and she was lovely. Sometimes they work together… I’m not bad enough for her to offer MLD (?) but if he can do it she’ll provide a longer term strategy (as she thinks it only works for 24 hours). Amazing how powerless one can feel… I didn’t know whether what I was doing was making it worse, what I SHOULD do… and it really kicks in the anxiety, which, in the scheme of things, is silly…
going to Turkey on Thursday… can’t wait!
lots of love to all… Jane xx
Hi everyone
Know that feeling, Janice, coming up to mammo time! Wonder why you’re feeling a bit down, then you remember, it’s that bit if a cloud looming!
Yvonne, we’re concerned how you are….please post. Sending some love to you.
E-Jane, what a lovely holiday you’ve had! As you say, bliss! My parents went there some years ago, they’ve been all over Scotland over time. I’ve been to Sky many years ago and that was lovely. As Janice says, I’m so glad too, to have finished with work.
Doz, oh dear, 7 hrs instead of 2 !!! I don’t know how you’re not asleep on your feet! I can’t understand how they can get your 2yr appointment a full 2 months out? Hope you’ve sorted it today….surely they haven’t mixed you up with someone else?? Sending love to you also!
Jane, it’s a good job you have a great sense of humour! Ms Lyn Fedema, ha ha ha! Fingers crossed, I’ve been lucky not to suffer with it. Do hope you’re not too stressed with it all. Do what Doz does and let out an Aaaaaaaaargh! I hope it’s improving by now and on Thursday Turkey will help everything. Have a great time!
Love to all I haven’t mentioned and hope you’re OK. Ami xx
Morning Flutterbys
I hope you get Ol Lyn Fedema sorted Jane you are soo funny when you describe that awful side effect bless you I should’nt have smiled but I did… sorry sweetie I have been quite lucky so far it kicked off a couple of months after my op and I had to wear a gauntlet and glove until the ward banned me from wearing it… infection control thing so I wore it when I got home and in bed which was’nt very comfy at all but it seemed to have settled it after a few months and i’ve been pretty good this year… touching wood xxxx
THE MEETING… finally happened yesterday!!! I was all prepared to give my take on it but was’nt really given the chance and then ended up trying to put my point of view over and it all came out wrong so I gave up!!! I was told… in future if i’m struggling to tell the staff i’m on with and they will adjust my hours accordingly…I said I did that when my thumb started playing up but didnt get anywhere and was told… well they are’nt likely to do anything if we are short staffed??? then was told if i’m going to be off work would I forewarn them??? er am I phsycic?? Also I have 12 weeks to improve my attendance FROM YESTERDAY… not from when I got the letter even tho I hav’nt been off in 9 weeks that does’nt count??? Nor all the times i’ve gone in above my hours and helped them out Then came my support ha ha for Vikki… none!! I have been given shorter shifts which means I have to go more to get my hours in… I did manage to say at the end of it that Vikki has never come between me and my work and was never given compassionate leave at the time I needed it… so i’m sure i’ll manage now and walked out! I was given a letter at the end of my shift saying they were glad they had been able to support me when times had been difficult for me and they would meet up with me again in January 2013 and till then they would like to see 100% attendance SIGH!!! so caring! I dont think we attended the same meeting eeeeek!!!
Finally got a day off and now in my beloved pj’s having a massive hot flush groan!!! this is my first full day off in 9 days its ok doing the short shifts but on those days nothing gets done as I have to be there at 12 and dont get home till 8… for the first time ever I got home last night and went straight to bed HEAVEN!!!
MOANING OVER sorry girlies it does help just writing it all down you dont have to read it… and I really wont be offended honestly tho a tiny bit of support from work would’nt have gone amiss… END OF
Its sunny washing by the bucket load is on and another coffee is on the cards
Have a lovely day and I hope things are picking up for our floundering flutterbys love and hugs always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I think i’m just getting old and grumpy
No Doz not ld and grumpy just suffering from lack of sympathy from those who should know better.Don’t know how she is a nursing sister in a caring profession as she doesn’t seem to understand just how bad things have been for you this past two years and you have only ever been off when it has been genuine.Some people are often off sick and nothing ever said to them.Take care and hopefully things will get better for you and Vikki soon big hug on its way.
Jane love the Lyn Fedema fortunately I haven’t had it but my friend has and she struggles sometimes, hope it improves soon and have a fabulous holiday in Turkey.
Ami yes it is awful just now but have got other things on my mind at the minute so trying not to think too much about it.Hope you and yours are keeping well.xxx
love and hugs to all Janice xxx
Doz…what a meeting…unbelievable…now then, you mentioned hot fluhes and I’m really suffering with them (I’m not on Tamoxifen though). Is it safe to try sage…I was thinking of taking Menopace Plus botanicals but wasn’t sure because of breast cancer history and all the phyto-oestrogens in them. My DCIS wasn’t hormone triggered…guess that’s one for the BCN or doctor. The flushes just come from nowhere and I go bright red from the neck upwards and after a few seconds the perspiration, nay sweat breaks out…not a pretty sight!! AAAAHHHRRGGGG!"!!!
Don’t know what to do about work at the moment…I actually love my job but hate being on call for the self harm rota plus any other mental health issues that arise on the day…I find it quite stressful. I only have one day’s on call a month so really I should be able to cope with that I think…
I’ve already planned another mini break…it’s what gets me through!!A long weekend in Derbyshire with my best friend ending up at Chatsworth House for a firework display on 3rd November…can’t wait. 
Hugs to everybody
Jane xx
Hi Janice I agree with you those in charge should take lessons on empathizing rather than critsizing They… I assume are too busy with budgets they forget we are still human… but then they expect us to be super human at times… I wish I was hey ho!! xxx
Jane poor you they are so tiresome mine are due to the Letrozole so I dont think there is anything I can do for them but the BC Nurse at my last appointment suggested Evening Primrose… I have taken them religiously for the full year and they dont seem to help at all I get about 6/7 a day and they are dreadful sometimes usually more so when I’m tired ha ha!! when am I not?? when they start I get a strange feeling of foreboding for a few seconds then what feels like an adrenalin rush in my tummy… then bang it starts… heat red face i’ve even developed a second armpit!!! inside my elbow of all places… and the backs of my hands drip… no not pretty especially at work when I have gloves on I end up with pools in each finger JOY!!! Perhaps you should talk to your BC Nurse i’m really not sure anything actually helps hon, as for work I think our mindset sometimes makes the work a trial I too love my job but sometimes it drains me and I want to be anywhere else but there… also it is a very taxing role you have so maybe its just the way it gets to you bless you… I hope your hols come quickly I’ve just booked to go to Mallorca to see a friend again I had to cancel this yrs so we will have lots to catch up on and that is now what is spurring me on xxx
Hi Ami how’s your pooch getting on also how’s the packing going eeeek I still hav’nt had chance to check up on my yearly mammo but I have a couple of days off next week YIPEE so I will check into it then… when i’ve caught up with all the jobs that seem to be stacking up!!! xxx
Does anyone who had Radiotherapy have a tender area in the ribs directly under where the therapy was??? My little demon was quite deep so R/T did catch a part of my ribs and it is sometimes quite tender if I poke around I know… I should’nt poke around but when it is tender its hard to leave it alone… I keep hoping its gone but its still there something i’ll have to mention when I go me thinks…
Love and hugs to all flutter gently girlies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Doz I too have sore bit on my ribs and was wondering if underwire bra was making it worse so trying non wires and it does seem a bit easier but still there presume it won’t go away if its side effect of rads.As for hot flushes I am fine during the day then as soon as I get into bed they start.At least I won’t need hot water bottles in the winter lol.
Elsa too unfotunately some people have hot flushes for years after the menopause so it could be that .
To everyone else take care love and hugs Janice xxx
On my days off now hurray!!!
I took my cat to the vets this week with what I thought was a bite on her back leg…she’s already arthritic bless her and her back end is very wobbly when she walks which I thought wass due to arthritis…wrong! The vet has never seen a cat present in this way before and did a load of blood tests plus giving a painkilling injection. Turned out my cat has a low potasium level and is now on half a potassium tablet twice a day. This little lot cost me over £100…yikes…but she’s worth every penny…she’s happy in every other way and manages from day to day…she enjoys her food and likes to go outside and even caught a mouse but couldn’t finish the job so to speak as she has only 2 teeth left now!
I love my wildlife (animals and birds I hasten to add!) and yesterday on the birdfeeder we had a nuthatch, coal, great and blue tit plus a goldfinch…lovely in the sunshine…we’ve started using Gardman’s Finch Blend bird seed which has been the best so far.
Off shopping with my friend today for a bit of retail therapy and of course a chinwag…feel like fluttering frivolously today!
Love
Jane x
Hi Flutterbys
Janice I hav’nt worn a bra since R/t so it cant be that… I could’nt stand it they felt a bit alien… Bra’s that is ha ha i’m sure it must be lasting effects somedays its worse than others but I will mention it when I finally get my appointment through… I saw the Plastic Consultant today with my thumb he is pleased with it and has said if it starts sticking again to go to A&E for another Cortisone inj, NO WAY HOSAY!!! He does’nt want to interfere with it now its settling as he said a lot of the swelling is Arthritis Oh Joy!!! and yes I have my own central heating too especially at night… I sweat the covers come off I freeze the covers go back on I sweat etc, etc, the upside is hopefully they wont last forever??
Jane poor Puss they are so expensive when they are poorly, when my Lab Alice got Cushings disease her tablets were £96 a month but sadly she died after 6 months with a tumour but I would have worked an extra 2 shifts every week to pay for them if need be Hope she comes on well… enjoy your therapy girl we deserve it!!Well girlies i’ve got the weekend OFF YIPEEDODADAY I wont know what to do with myself… oh yes the grass is desperately in need of its last cut… the house is very dusty… ironing is taking over the airing cupboard and we need food… and I am in need of a lie in… I’m looking at my P’Js and thinking sunday oh yes!!!
Love to you all and enjoy the weekend flutterbys xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Doz hope you had a good weekend and glad to see thumb is doing okay.
Hope everyone else has had a good weekend too.I am off to Center Parcs tomorrow so looking forward to it and seeing two of my grandsons.Hope weather stays dry but we are going prepared for anything so take care all and will be back in touch next weekend love and hugs Janice xxxxx
I hope the weather stays perfect for you enjoy xxxx yes had a busy but productive weekend grass cut… Ironing done…put the hard top on my car and washed it… And food shopping done yay… Hope everyone is well flutter gently xxxxxxxhugxxxxxx