Sorry to be blunt, but have noticed that since my secondary diagnosis in Feb 2010, my libido has been on the wain. I don’t know if it’s the emotional trauma, or the aftermath of the fairly arduous treatment I went through for most of 2010, or even the endocrine therapy I am on now (lack of oestrogen must have some effect I guess). I also hate the way I look naked - can’t help thinking my body looks like a mutilated lump of meat. I do wish it would come back, because I don’t want my hubby to think I don’t love him anymore.
Is this just me ?
Not just you Lemongrass! And your situation has been going on a lot longer than mine. As you say body image down the pan with scars but I am sure your hubby like my partner love us just the same:) Tiredness being a problem, but I find that I have lost enthusiasm for lots of things. I am sure we will get all this and more back with our fighting spirits. Determination!!!
Ummmmmm, I’ve been OK so far with having a libido, it’s certainly not what it was for sure but I’ve had my moments recently 
However, something I have noticed is its harder for me to release as the sensation is not the same as it was and it’s not as sensitive?
I’ve not brought this up with my BCN as it’s too embarrasing by far and I feel like I know her now. And I dont think theres anything that can be done about that during treatment, just thought I’d see if anyone else had felt the same way? I’m a bit embarrased to say it on here to be honest, it’s v personal eh? :-s LOL
I don’t feel as feminine in myself so that won’t help but I know theres something physical going on there not just psychological.
*ahem* - embarrased smirk…
There was a thread about a month ago, something like “Chemo, sex, tamoxifen and all that jazz…” There were quite a few interesting and helpful suggestions. If I knew how to do a search I’d post a link, but do have a browse.
I hope this helps.
breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/chemo,-tamoxifen,-sleep,-sex-and-all-that-jazz–t30563.html
SLG xx
CM - Once again you are a star 
I searched under “all that jazz” and found it, totally right, the only thing I’ve ever had said to me on a sex front is “don’t get pregnant” - and to try the coil, which I did and had horrendous cramping to the point I had to get it removed in A&E.
Good point - because we’re women is this not important? Women in their 50’s have sex lives - I’m 34, I had a great sex life before, no problem with having the wants - we’d been trying for a baby for 5 years too, so used to a regular dose so to speak I’m quite horrified, I didn’t think about not having a libido, just the dryness, not great but solvable by lubes but hadn’t crossed my mind about losing desire - JESUS, it’s one of the few healthy things I really enjoy. God I hate cancer even more than I did.
I’m glad to see that losing some sensation isn’t in my head, I have got past the psychological element of feeling like I don’t look my best and was a bit disturbed that sensation isn’t the same and hadn’t told me OH this - I’ve just mentioned it to him and said that I was worried that it was taking a lot longer and not as sensitive. He’s fine about it, I’m usually good at detecting when he’s bullsh*tting me because we’ve been together 10 years. But I’m not happy about Tamoxifen and menopause in my 30s at all, not only fertility wise but also sex - I admit it, I LOVE SEX.
B*gger!!! I hope this doesn’t happen, maybe I need to bring this up with my BCN as a worry for Tamoxifen. I need to do it though anyway :((
Funnily enough, lack of sensation is not the issue for me. Actually when we do get jiggy, I quite enjoy things, it’s just that most of the time I can’t be bothered.
I do wonder if I am a bit depressed, because I’ve also lost my enthusiasm for other things, like horse-riding, swimming or going to the Gym. A lot of the time I just feel I am drifting.
Sorry to whine.
LG, given what you’ve been through, a touch of depression wouldn’t be surprising. Particularly given your lack of enthusiasm for stuff generally, you might want to see someone about it. Serious depression is absolutely horrible so if you can nip it in the bud while you still have a bit of ooomph to help you do so, then give it a go. I have read that a high proportion of BC patients find themselves suffering from depression at some stage, so it wouldn’t be surprising. And treatment for depression can be extremely effective so is well worth trying.
(And El Katrano, I’m 49 and I still enjoy it too, much to my kids’ disgust!!!)
LG - get some of those happy pills and see if it helps, I had them after diagnosis as I was already feeling delicate with all the fertility treatment I’d been through and job loss etc, and I just felt misreable as sin before everything, I think they’ve helped to lift me a bit - Citrolpram.
CM - I love reading your comments, you always make me do either a wry smile or a belly laugh - you really remind me of my Mum who had a great sense of humour. I remember my Mum once horrifying me by saying “Me and ***** still have sex a few times a week you know…” and I was going “arrrgh, nooooooo, fingers in ears, LA LA LA LA, I can’t hear you” 
I don’t think that’s an age thing, I think that’s a Parents do not have private bits and they don’t have sex, not even to create me thing LOL. I intend to be having sex at 80, by whatever means possible! xxx
El Katrano, I’m shocked about your Mum as well -everyone knows that parents don’t have sex. My parents had four children, but we were all left at the bottom of the garden by a stalk (who was really an angel in disguise).
I didnt need cancer for it to go it went with the menopause…
Hatty, I think the menopause is an issue with me as well. I just feel like a burnt out old hag, who is on the way out. I don’t feel attractive anymore either. When I look in the mirror, I see a mutilated lump of meat, instead of a nice pair of breasts, and I feel grotesque.
ditto Hatty… long gone… can’t be bothered - not even on the radar! Never thought I’d be like this, but, I am…
awe lemon grove sorry to hear that. For me ive always been a bit of a kid and ive stuck there but the menopause has made me lazy towards sex and oh my god the mess lol… Just as soon have a nice cuddle these days perhaps it was because i had to much of a good thing when i was younger.
I hope you can start to feel better about yourself. Be kind to you as you have been through so much.
must say i envy those that are banging away at 80!!
SEX overated and for the young lol …
Thing is, hatty, I’m still young now, and intend to be still young when I’m 80!
LOL at you lot! I am not letting chemopause or any other pause lead to a total decline of my (and my lovely husbands) personal enjoyment!!! Stuff chemo, cancer, baldness, dryness, every other ness and more I intend to also be young at 80!!