Hi ,
I am a right mess at the moment - I have just finished all my treatment for the moment just had chemo for the last five months and radiotheraphy on my pelvic
to switch of my ovaries
I have secondaries in my lung and have just been told my last CT scan was good and nothing has spread anywhere else in my body. this is really good news but I am so down at the moment - cannot lift my mood -dreading christmans and the new year .
This is my thrid battle with cancer - Had it in 1995 and 2002 and returned in December last year . In my words I am a wreck today and every day . Feel totally isolated from the world . No one seems to understand me . My family are fab - my partner can not cope with me and has told me he wants to call it a day
Can not focus on any thing - just keep crying all the time . Worrying about planning my funeral and leaving my family behind.
Trying to get early retirement from work on the gorunds of ill health even though i am only 46 . They have not supported one bit during the last year .
I have no children cancer robbed me of that . Can not sleep at night with out a sleeping tablet .
Please does any one else feel like this or have any ideas where I should go next ?
I’m sorry to read that you are having such a tough time. I’m sure the users of this site will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe it would help to talk through your feelings with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
Hi Rosie,
You have been through a really tough time, so I am not surprised you are crying. Imagine if I told you I had had cancer 3 times and I was feeling miserable, you would be telling me the same thing!
I have had a difficult year and the only way I have coped is by accepting that I needed help- I think it would be realy great to chat to the lovely BCC nurses on the helpline, or there one-to-one service? Have you a Maggies or a Haven near you? They have groups and can offer one-to-one support and counselling?
As I am sure you know, sometimes its when treatment has ended that our emotions catch up with us. I’s sorry your partner is unable to support you, but they will be trying to cope with their own feelings too. It is so hard.
Sending you lots of encouragement and support.
Rattles
Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. It doesn’t sound at all surprising given what you have been and are going through, and I agree with Rattles that it might be helpful for you to talk to someone who can help to support you, whether it is the BCC helpline or a counsellor - your GP or breast care nurse should be able to help you access someone or as Rattles has said there might be a Maggies Centre or Haven (or another centre for people affected by cancer) near you who could also provide this type of support.
All the best,
Tournesol
Going to ring the help line tomorrow and talk to my breast care nurse as well - We have a maggies near me will nip in and have a chat with some one there
Thank you once again for replying means alot to me xxx
Rosie, so sorry to hear that you are feeling low. It’s not surprising, you’ve been and are going through a lot. Having secondaries is hard work. We try to be ‘normal’ for everyone else and, at times, it’s really hard.
Do you have a Macmillan nurse? I now have one who visits me at home. She’s also arranged for me to have some acupuncture at ha swell well as helping me with all sorts of benefits (I get DLA) such as a taxi card and disabled badge for travelling by car. I’ve also started going to my local hospice where there are people to talk to and a whole range of complementary therapies to try.
i’ve been low myself this year due to some progression in my bones but I’ve found these little things help me cope better.
Wishing you the very best.
Alison x
Poor Rosiechin you do sound at the end of your teather. Have you told your local doctor how you feel? There is no shame in admitting to depression. It is such a rotten thing to have had all the losses you have had in your life. No wonder you are upset.
You have so much more living to do so a bit of help to get you back into normality would make such a difference. Do as others have said ring the Helpline. It can beso helpful to tell somebody how you feel and let all that emotion out.
You have been so brave to post on the forums it means you do want help…and you have taken control and moved folward.
I will be thinking about you. Keep posting
oh you poor love…no wonder you feel down…I was bad enough with one dx never mind 3…I think you are a v brave woman…can’t add anything to what the other ladies have said but sending you a massive hug…
Went to see my breast care nurse - she think councilling would be good for me . Asked about going to the hospice for some treats " but in her words I am too well at the moment . Been to Maggies for a chat as well.
Trying to sort out early retirment on ill health ground with my work - My union sorting out for me as I am unable to go into work as they have upset so much in the last year and will give me more stress and upset me .
My ex partner has agreed he wants all the furniture from me - One less worry .
Just need to rehome my Chinchilla now .
Feel so much more brighter today .
Thank you
Love Rosie xxx
Hello Rosie,
I think it would be good to go and see your GP about your low mood and they will assess you and see if you would benefit from antidepressants. I was very reluctant but in the end, because the Chemo sent me through an early menopause I had to admit that I would never ever feel better without help. I had counselling as well which also helped me. It really is no shame to take the tablets as we would take them if it was for high blood pressure. Be kind to yourself now as you have been through so much. Be Mindful of what you are doing and stay focused on one job at a time. I felt my brain literally flicking from one job to the next without finishing anything properly. I read a book by paul Gilbert which the Cancer Psychologist lent me called the Compassionate Mind and it helped me to try and put everything into perspective.
I am sending you lots of healing thoughts that you will experience an inner peace .
With love and big hugs to you as well. Tracy xxx
I went through a bad spell of depression - I think we can suffer from something similar to Post traumatic shock once treatment is over. I had anti-depresssents and counselling which literally saved my life and marriage. Do not be afraid to take help if you need it. Having had that treatment I was able to cope with a recent diagnosos of secondaries.
Also I attend a course called ‘Living Well with Cancer’ run by the Penny Brohn Cancer trust. It involved advice on diet and a lot of relaxation, visualisation and meditation exercises. These have been wonderful for helping me to wind-down and you are talking to a a bit of sceptic here. It is free and they do have the odd outreach session. They are on the net.
I hope things get better for you - you have had to deal with so much.
hugs and love - Jacqui
Well said Jacqui! Please get the help you deserve Rosie and one day very soon you will wake up and feel that dark cloud and black dog on your shoulder is no longer there. Love and big hugs Tracy xxx
Hi,
My mood has down again find out my ex partner has been two timing me for the last few months.
Feel totally betrayed and used by him .
How can he do this to me???
We only split up two weeks ago and he has been meeting her for last 8 months
What else can life throw at me ???
Sending you a massive hug and all the virtual support that I can muster today…(((((hug))))…chin up…your partner’s behaviour is no reflection on you…shame on him…