Why am I so scared?

Hi ladies. You’ll probably tell me to count my blessings, and I probably should, but I can’t understand why I feel the way I do. I’ve had good results, and an excellent prognosis - tubular, small lump (8mm), clear margins, node negative, ER positive, no chemo, just rads, and a 98% chance of a full recovery, so why do I feel so scared? I feel so isolated, and I look at the rest of my family, laughing and enjoying life, and I wonder if I’ll ever feel that way again. I had so many plans, I want to see my 15 year old son grow into a man, and I feel I’ve been robbed of all of this. With my prognosis, I should be feeling so lucky, but somehow I’m still scared. I worry about everything, and my nerves are shot to pieces.

Any words of encouragement or reassurance would be appreciated. You can even give me a virtual kick up the butt if you want, but I’m frightened of the way I feel, and I can’t shake it off. What can I do?

Lyn, i feel very much the same so you must be normal! My results were a bit worse in that i had a 16mm tumour but no nodes, good margin etc. They have given me a 93% chance of recovery.
Despite that my world has been turned upside down. I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I think its early days for us babes and others say it gets better with time. Dont beat yourself up any cancer diagnosis is scary and its hard to feel lucky!
Love julie X

Hi LynB1 and Julie8

I’m sorry to read that you’re both struggling but I’m sure your feelings are only natural. If you want to talk to someone in confidence the team on the helpline will be only too happy to talk to you and just be a listening ear if you feel you want to share your worries and concerns. BCC are here to support you so please use us if it will help. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturdays 9am to 2pm. The number is free phone 0808 800 6000.

Kind Regards

Katie
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

A brush with cancer is very scarey and your body reacts in an appropriate manner - unfortunately your mind then takes over!
I’m certain we’ve all had dreams or thoughts after diagnosis where life seems pointless and we can’t see the continuing joy around us.But life does go on!

It takes time to recover from such a shock and you need all the support you can get - if you find you can’t/don’t want to talk to your family or friends then do ring the BCC team - or have a major rant to the rest of us on this site.

Don’t surf the internet looking at other sites - they’ll depress you further - read the success stories on this site from ladies who have been there before, know how you feel and know how long it takes to come out the other side.

A diagnosis of cancer does not mean the end is nigh (for some time yet in many cases!)

Best wishes
Maddy xxxx