I was diagnosed in May last year had lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy which finished 21 Dec, I went back to work for 2 hours last Friday but when I went in yesterday when talking through my return to work with my boss had a complete meltdown, feel happier staying at home but have to work as need the money. Struggling with how I look, overweight and boy hair! Shouldn’t I be feeling happy that I have got over the cancer and at least I am still here (as I keep being told). Anyone else feeling this way or am I just feeling sorry for myself?
Hi, nico, this is a natural reaction when something that has taken up so much of your life finishes. You probably haven’t completely recovered from the treatment yet, either. When I went back to work after just an WLE and rads a couple of years ago, it was really tiring. The oncologist told me it would take 4-6 months before I really recovered and felt myself again, so I imagine adding chemo to the mix makes a big difference.
It’s also natural to feel anxious about returning to work after any long leave. We worry whether we can still do our job, whether we will still fit in… You’ll see posts from others here saying this, so it’s not just you.
No youre not feeling sorry for yourself its a big emotional event you,ve been through and the trauna of going back to work just exacerbates that .I went back to work for a 1/2 day last week and a 1/2 day this week and came home and blubbed in tears to my OH .I like you feel weepy, fat ,boy hair un attractive and completely lost all my confidence and concentration I dont want to talk about BC all the time but feel that is all i can talk about cos its had such an impact on my life i really dont feel normal yet when they say its good to get back to normality .I feel even more emotional now than i did back at DX and the least thing sets me off even if someone is being kind so just have a blub when you need to it is quite theraputic and dont be afraid to do in front of people it sometimes makes them realise the amount of emotional trauma youve been through xxxx .Does youre GP of workplace do any councilling sessions or suport groups it might help to talk it over with someone else that knows exactly what you are feeling . Im sure we are all having normal feelings and emotions my BC nurse said that this is usually the worst depressive time for people so take care hopefully it will get better for us xxxxx Julie
No your not feeling sorry for yourself, bc has such an impact on our lives, as others have said in their posts, and I’m sure many more ladies will reply feeling exactly the same as you, its easy for those around us to think we’re ‘better’ now, and should just forget about it, not so easy when the first thing you think about in the morning is bc, and the last thing at night, so we tend to pretend we are ok just to please others.
Thank you all, didnt think anyone would reply, good to know that I’m not the only one going through this. Seems mad but feel worse now and cried more since it has all finished than I did when I was diagnosed.
You’re definitely not the only one going through this.
In fact, we see it so often at Breast Cancer Care that we’ve got lots of information and services to help. Have a look at this “Moving Forward” web page to start with: breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-breast-health/moving-forward/ (for people “living with and beyond breast cancer” and do feel free to give the helpline a call if you want to talk about anything (0808 800 6000).
I am 2 years on from Mastectomy and node clearance, six Tax, 15 rads and a year on Herceptin. I was grade 3 stage 3 and HER2+++. Yesterday I had my 2 year follow-up and, mammogram on the remaining breast. I asked why I was still so lacking in energy and still having bad days. I was told that, having had the book thrown at me I should not expect to feel 100% yet. Apparently it takes 2 years for the chemo to work out of your system and, despite us being told that Herceptin is a breeze it takes at least 6 months to recover from it. I was told that on bad days I should just chill out and pamper myself. Physically and psychologically there are days when I find life very hard and it is an effort to even get in the shower. I did listen to what I was told and will follow the advice given and wait for improvement.
So Nico, you are not on your own and I guess, like me you will just have to be patient and do what you can when you can. You are not feeling sorry for yourself, you are suffering from side effects which will go eventually. I am sorry that you have to work and honestly you deserve a medal going back to work so soon after your treatment. Your hair will grow in time and your weight will reduce when you are active again. There is nothing worse than being told how well you look. I think that people say that because they think it will make you feel better.