whyme??? i am sat here wondering why this might be happening to me, i just feel that i am the unluckiest person, i have had really bad relationships, i have a child who has adhd, also i got a child who is epileptic with a heart condition, i feel like crying but i can’t and i don’t no why! i find myself checking my breast numerous times a day just to make sure i not dreaming, but it hasn’t gone away, i no it stupid me saying. i feel like my world is crumbling and i have gotmy 5 children to care for, i am a single parent who works aswell which i find really hard but i need to support my children in every way possible, finding this website has helped me, i have tried not to think about it but it is really hard not too. i am not looking forward to the biopsy either, i feel really tired both physically and emotionally. i hope you don’t mind me putting my thoughts here as i haven’t really got anyone else thankyouxx x x xx

Hi Northy Hi Northy
I am so sorry that you have had to join us on this site, you will never be alone now that you have joined the site, we have or are all going through the same emotions that you are feeling , I was diagnosed on the 20th March, and wrote exactly the same things as you, although I have a husband, no one understands as much as the girls on this site, we are here for you, anytime, can I suggest that you ring the helpline, they are amazing, and will answer all your questions which will be loads, also ask them to send you the information pack, I found it really good, just having someone to talk to about your fears will help you, have you been given a date for your biopsy ? it is not too bad, and I found the waiting the worst, you can only take one day at a time, and you will have good and bad days, but which ever you are having come on the site and talk to us, on my bad days I rang the helpline and they arranged for me to have a Counsellor, who rang me at home, they match you with a Volunteer who has a similar diagnosis, so she is able to explain what you can expect, with your treatment, please keep in touch and let me know how you get on
loads of hugs
will be thiinking of you
keep in touch

For Northy Hi Northy

It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment. As Heatherellis mentioned breast cancer care have a freephone helpline where you can talk to some one in confidence about how you are feeling.

I am sure you will continue to receive lots of helpful advice and support from the other forum users but please don’t hesitate to use
the helpline on 0808 800 6000. The line is open Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm

I hope this helps.

Kind Regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care

You are not the only one who thinks “why me”, I have had the same thoughts. Like you I am a single parent, one child has anger issues, which can be emotionally draining. Also I have had crappy relationships (last partner left me ten days before christmas) and I had to deal with all the emotional issues that involves as well as waiting to start chemo in January. The waiting part at the beginning is the hardest, once you have a diagnosis and a treatment plan things seem to be “easier”. I hope that you have positive results.

Sarah x

Why me too?? Hi there

Im sorry your going through this, it is a big roller coaster ride, I also say the same thing, ive had 4 constant years of bad luck, my son nearly died at birth and was in hospital for a long time, then later diagnosed with some brain damage, then my wonderful father died of cancer and then last year as i was celebrating my 35th birthday i opened a big bottle of champagne and said that from now on my life is a new beginning with lots of happiness, fat bl*ody chance, i got diagnosed with BC a month later and just as ive finished all the treatment and got through my operation and rads now my marriage has fallen apart, well next month on my birthday im going to sit with a cup of tea and keep my big fat mouth shut.
The main thing though through out your treatment is to be strong, stay positive and do it for your kids, which is what i did, my little boy is my world and he needs me so im putting up a good fight to stay with him so you do the same.
I think there’s a lot of other people out there that really say the same, why me and there’s also alot of other people out there that are really worse off, your not alone and this forum is fab, even if you want to sound off just come on here and do it, one of us will hopefully make you laugh with a similar experience. anyway go have a cry, get the kids to bed and get yourself a large glass of wine, red of course.

take care

Hi northy

There seems to be a myth that cancer comes along and ruins otherwise perfect lives. That is not the case. Often it comes a long when we least can cope with it and just makes our lives even harder.

I assume from your post that you’re waiting for a diagnosis. I sincerely hope your lump turns out benign and, statistically, that is likely to be the case. But, if not, please do not be afraid to ask for support.

I have just finished treatment (chemo, surgery, rads) and with just the one child and a partner I found the going tough, so I can only imagine what it must be like having 5 kids on your own.

If you don’t have enough family and friends around you to help out (and I mean REALLY help on on a regular basis) speak to your breast care nurse about help available through outside organisations. I believe there is help available with childcare, shopping, housework, etc, as well as financial assistance. Maybe the helpline here can advise you. It may even be worth putting a call into them just now just to have a chat about how overwhelmed you are feeling.I’ve heard they are very, very nice.

Good luck.


Lola x

thanks everyone i just want to say thankyou to those ladies who have replied, your words are so kind, myappointment has now been changed to the 7th june instead of 26th june, i will keep you all informed of how i go, once again thankyou sending all big hugs thanks northy

I am so pleased your appointment has been brought forward, the waiting is the hardest part.

I will be thinking of you on the 6th Northy…Please let us know how you get on.

Hugs Val. XXXX.

glad they you have an earlier Appointment Hi Northy
just reading through the posts, and noticed that you have been given an earlier appointment, thats good news, please let me know how you get on, I will be thinking of you.
Loads of hugs

don’t understand ??? thanks once again for the kind words, one thing i don’t understand is why my nipple leaks yellow miky stuff, it looks like the first milk you get when your milk comes in, sometimes it is blood stained is this normal??? emma

Ho Northy

Glad to hear your appointment has been brought forward.

I had a similar discharge for a year or so and had a mammo to check it, I was told it was nothing and not to worry. Strange though that less than 6 months later I had a palpable lump and less than a year later was diagnosed with BC!

Not much you can do until you have your appointment, if you think too much about it all you read into your symptoms and self diagnose yourself with everything possible! I’m sure this is not healthy for you or your kids - it’s not long to go now.

Takce care and try and relax a little (hard I know),

Lynn x

Good luck Hi Northy

Good luck with your appointment today.

Lynn x

thank you i will keep everyone informed, i am really scared didn’tsleep much last night, i feeling really sick with worry, i no it is natural will feel better after hopefully. emma

I am thinking of you Emma.

Hugs Val. XXXX.

results already hi everyone i thought i would let you no i had appointment yesterday, it is bad news i have breast cancer of the milk duct, i had results there and then because of my age. the consultant was lovely, he was so sympathetic, he wanted it all done there and then he said it was crucial that they knew, they have started medication due to go in next week to have it removed, i still in shock but at least i no know. northy

I haven’ t replied to any of your posts but I have been following them and so looked in to see how you had got on. So sorry it was bad news. If it is cancer of the milk duct is it DCIS? If it is it is almost always cured with surgery and - if you don’t have a mastectomy - radiation. Awful things to go through but the worry is not the same as with invasive bc.
Be kind to yourself. I went into shock for weeks after dx I think.

Hugs Northy.

I had the cancer in the milk ducts, had the op and radiotherapy also on Tomoxifen, I am doing fine…touchwood.

I went into hospital on the day of the op, it was my daughter who asked if I could go in on the day, the surgeon was fine about it, I went down at 3pm for the op, when I came round I made sure I got up with help to walk to the toilet to spend a penny, so I would be able to go home the next morning, which I did so was only in for one night, I still had the drain in when I got home, and had the district nurse call each day for a week or so…My biggest difficulty was trying to remember each time I got up from a chair that I had the drain in, many times I nearly pulled it out by leaving it behind.:slight_smile:

Good Luck Northy.

Don’t forget to let us know when you are having the op and we can all be thinking of you. XXXX.

still can’t take it in so mant things was said yesterday i still can’t remeber everything all i can remeber is my mind going blank, my friend who was with was taking it all infor me, still can’t believe it, the consultant is going to send me a letter explaining everything northy

Oh, honey, I am so sorry to hear this. It’s the worst news ever but it does get easier, I promise you. You are still in shock. This will pass and you will get into ‘fight mode’. You will be surprised at the strengths you have.

Please make sure you do everything I suggested in my last post. You need support and lots of it.

We are here for you.


Lola xxx