Wife having surgery today

Hi Alan,
Just wanted to say I am glad that your wife has got through her operation and she is doing well, you will be so looking forward to her coming home and she sounds like she has wonderful support from you. I have just finished my chemo and am about to start radiotheraphy and my partner like you has helped me all the way giving me support and a shoulder to cry on when I have needed it, funny he is not lopsided by now! also coming to all my appointments and listening when I did not understand certain things, and believe me it is with his help that I have got through it. I consider myself very lucky that I have him as I am sure your wife does you. I wish you both well through the treatment ahead

Take Care

Hi Alan and Family

I think everyone else has said it for me - but take one day at a time, don’t get stressed and make sure you have plenty of laughs. When I was diagnosed in Nov 07 we felt the bottom had fallen out of our world and I never believed I could feel happy again. I also have a terrible fear of hospitals etc but got through the operation and people keep telling me how well I look. I’m now walking my dog twice a day and using my exercise bike. I’ve started Tamoxifen and am due to start radiotherapy on the 18th. I don’t know how old your children are but it might be worth trying to explain things to them (especially if your wife has good day/bad day syndrome). I think someone else mentioned talking to the school/nursery about your situation. My daughter is 12 and she has been a great help and inspiration to me and her school and Guides Unit have been very supportive. Someones comment is right, vacuuming is no longer important in my household but spending quality time together is. I’ve done more since my operation than I did pre-cancer days and a friend said to me, in a way my life has become better through this tragedy.

Stay strong and be positive,
all the best to you and your family


Thats what I’m hoping to take out of this, I used to be a bit of a lazy so and so happy to stay in rather than go out for walks/coffee, shopping etc. Not any more!

Hehe I even attempted to mend some drawers the other day - not being DIY minded I made a right hash of it but at least it put a smile on my Wifes face, especially when they all fell out onto my leg (yep my missus is the sadistic type who can’t help but laugh when I have a mishap)

The House has never been tidier (with two dogs roaming about thats a minor miracle)

Its funny as I’ve never felt as stressed as I do now but on the other hand I’ve never felt stronger and more connected to my wife

Great to hear from everyone.

We’re in that limbo stage at the moment - possibly 3 weeks until results from the surgery and the plan of action for my wife. 2 weeks on fro diagnosis and 1 week on from my wife’s surgery this whole thing doesn’t seem real; it almost feels as though it hasn’t happened.

I fully understand about hoovering not being important! I wish I had the time!! I realise now how much my wife does just to keep the family going (I have to admit the children went to school 1 day last week in unironed clothes). Hopefully she will be back fully in control soon.


we know that limbo feeling mate, we’re still there from christmas, will all change next week though.

Plastic surgeon on Monday, Biospy on Wednesday and then the results a week after, just praying its as expected and low grade throughout and not too close to the chest wall.

don’t worry about the odd unironed shirt, sounds like you are taking care of the main things. I will be back on duty next week after the op so the full list of chores will have to be consulted (I’m a b*gger for forgetting tasks so I have to get everything written down- especially the shopping)