Wife starting Chemo: how can I help?

My lovely wife starts chemo this week. It is going to be miserable, but is there anything that anyone can suggest that would help? Chocolate? Nice candles, hot water bottles? Anything at all that I can do to help her get throuigh this awful phase of our lives.


Thanks very much


He Ben

Welcome to the forums, you’ve come to the right place for good, honest support for yourself and your wife.  I’m sure your fellow forum users will be along soon to help, but in the meantime I have put for you below links to a couple of BCC’s publications you both might find helpful.



Kind regards and take care,

Jo, Moderator

Dear Ben,

A tough time for you all, I wish you good health and strength to get through the coming times.

I didnt have to have intravenous chemo - just x2 surgeries & radiotherapy - and was supported well by my friends & young people (aged 18 & 22) at time of my diagnosis.

I am currently reading What Can I Do to Help? 75 Practical Ideas for Family and Friends from Cancer’s Frontline - written by Deborah Hutton. I am only half way through but have changed some of my support for a friend of mine who is coping with a cancer diagnosis for her husband, these simple changes allow me to offer her support without being too demanding on her time & allows her to take it when she chooses.

Top tips from there: accept specific help from friends - maybe they can help with hospital runs? taking young people to clubs / set up a blog / information sharing system so you dont have to repeat the details time & time again / food parcel deliveries. (My neighbours bought me supper on a few occassions - I was so grateful)

I would recommend buying the book - it covers so much & proceeds go to charity too.

Good luck to you & your family


Since my first post my wife has gone through five of the six chemo treatments; the last one (hurrah) is tomorrow and then she can move on to the next stage.

Chemo is scary and as an observer utterly heart-breaking. To see what it does to someone you love is just awful, the sense of impotence, the wish to make things better, but the knowledge there is nothing you can do. 

My experience - and everyone’s has been different - has been to be there when needed, but when things are bad to get out of the way. My wife just wanted to be left alone. My job was to do everything else so that she could concentrate on the most important thing.

After the chemo we move onto the next stage - surgery, and then radition therapy. Compared to what she has been through, I am sure she will take these in her stride.

Her fortitude and resliance have been incredible. I am so proud of her.

Hi Ben,<br><br>I’ve read your thread about supporting your wife through chemo. Is her treatment over? How is she now? My wife is awaiting surgery results but will have chemotherapy and radiotherapy because of her age.<br><br>Barry

So only a couple of days to go before you crack open the champagne :slight_smile: It sounds such a long time for treatment. My wife is very independent, so I’ll be telling her not to over do it on her good days. Did you also visit a fertility clinic? Sounds like you did a lot of reading up, just like I’ve done. Looking at things like diet etc, trying not to be too obsessed with that.


More veg, specific types and white meat definitely seems the way forward. What about dairy?

I’m not sure about the course. Getting advice on here is enough for now.

What was your diagnosis LL?

Sounds interesting enough. I hope you recover well x