I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of January, had quarter of my breast removed in Feb and am on my 2nd chemo cycle. I need a mastectomy at the end of chemo and been told I need chemo for a year. Each step has been upsetting but with love from family and friends have managed to pull through each stage so far. After surgery I did go back to work but since starting AC chemotherapy have felt sick, exhausted, have lost my hair, etc. I really enjoy my job and anxious that I haven’t felt well enough to return yet. I don’t want to lose my job through illness and itching to go back but at the same time just want to get better. I feel very alone having cancer and haven’t been told very much about anything i.e. I had no idea what chemotherapy involved and was scared going for my first chemo, the nurse was lovely and guided me through but I felt a bit left in the dark in the beginning. I have just had my 2nd chemo and had a port fitted. I am extremely emotional at the moment and trying my best to cope with each step of the way. I hope someone can help me and give me some answers especially regarding work. Thanks, Dawn.
hi dawn
firstly well done in completing 2 chemos. sorry your feeling cr.p at the moment. have u told yr bcn how sick u feel, as they can change yr meds. it took a while for me to get the right ones to stop that sick feeling. regarding yr work is there anyway you could change yr hours so u can work on the days in between chemos when u r feeling human again or what about working from home, is that an option. hope u feel better soon and best wishes with yr future treatment.
maria
Thanks Maria for responding. I will talk to the nurse next time I go for chemo which is 29 April, the exhaustion is more debilitating. Not sure about work hours, I work for a Prof in the NHS believe it or not but as he is so busy he needs someone there full-time so a temp is covering me at the mo. I have tried to go into work but feel was messing them around as was there one day, not the next etc. Of course they need cover, just hope they keep the job open for me for when I do go back. Anyway I suppose at the end of the day my health is more important but it does worry me. Thanks anyway. Does the chemo get easier as it goes on do you know?
Hi Dawn
I was dx Dec 2006 and returned to work in March this year. I couldn’t work through chemo as I work in a college and the Onc said I was too much at risk of infection. You CANNOT lose your job through BC as you are covered by the Disability Discrimination Act. I coped quite well on chemo and could carry on as normal, so made the most of my time off work - shopping, coffee/lunches with friends etc., trust me, the time flies and you will soon be back at work - I’ve only been back 3 weeks and it’s as if I’ve never been away lol.
Now you have found us, you don’t need to feel alone, there’s always someone here to ‘hold’ your hand and listen to your worries, this site was an absolute godsend for me when I was first dx. As far as not knowing anything, I didn’t want to know, went everywhere with my hand in the air and saying ‘don’t tell me anything’. I felt, personally, that if I knew too much I would be on the internet and probably scare myself to death, but did get a little braver as I went along (still don’t know what type I had, just that it was Grade 3 triple neg).
Stay strong and we’re here if you need us.
Love & ((((((((((0)))))))))) hugs
Julie x
Hi Dawn
I’m glad to see that you are finding this thread helpful. It’s not at all unusual to worry about the future in your situation, as I’m sure you realise. As well as the support you are getting from the forums you might want to phone our helpline and talk through your worries and concerns and how you are feeling at the moment. .
The helpline is run by expert nurses who will be able to give you the most up to date information and sources of support. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I hope this is of some help to you.
Kind regards
Sam
Bcc Facilitator
Thank you both so much. Thanks Julie on your comments - that has made me feel much better. I have been diagnosed with Grade 3 invasive cancer, I am sooooo scared, I don’t want to die. My hubby and 2 daughters have been fantastic, my eldest daughter even shaving my hair when I was left with wisps after it all fell out. Thanks Sam too I will call the line, although I did email when I was first diagnosed and nobody got back to me that made me feel more alone really as I don’t know anyone who has gone through cancer so had nobody to ask for advice. Thanks for the hugs Julie, I now feel I can ask people anything and have read a few comments which have also helped me. Thank you again. I just feel very tearful today.
Hi Julie
I was dx with triple neg stage 3 in March and have just had my 1st FEC last week. I also work in a college and am not even contemplating going anywhere near the place until all the students have left for the year! I will probably pop in over the summer just to see my work colleagues. Looking at the office enviromnent I have to work in - winter we only wear t-shirts as it is like Barbados all year round and a real breeding area for germs. You are also probably aware of the student culture to spit and secrete all sorts of various liquids without a bat of an eyelid…something I do not want to catch!!!
I am only going to receive 4 mnths full and then 4 mnths half pay due to only completing just over 2 years service so find financial worries are at a fore. I don’t really have much savings and may have to rely on a McMillan grant (if I am accepted).
Like you I am finding this website a godsend and have even got my mother on looking at it (she took my dx badly as her mom died of BC). It’s really good to hear good news stories of going back to work etc when you feel they are so far away!!
Anita
Hi Dawn
Just to say - hope all goes well with your app on the 29th. Don’t worry about work - it will still be there when you are ready to go back to it.
Anita
Thanks Anita - like you I work in a hospital where there are germs spread around, plus the alcoholics that hang around spit, vomit and all sorts of the forecourt outside - so I will stop worrying about it - As I have only been in my job (going into the second year) I only get 2 months full pay then 2 months half pay. What does the McMillan grant cover?
Hiya Dawn
Feeling teary and scared is perfectly normal. The first thing I asked when dx was ‘Am I going to die?’. I have 3 sons, the youngest is 11, and I have no intention of going anywhere just yet and there is no reason why we should. There are an awful lot of women who survive this and we WILL be among them. You will find that you get stronger as you go along, I was the biggest wimp ever and suddenly gained this inner strength, where it came from I have no idea, but it will come to you as well. Everyone was surprised at how well I coped (once the shock had worn off) and my son said ‘you have cancer and you’re worse when you have a cold’ - you have to love em don’t you lol. I have continued to be strong and positive and, am pleased to say, BC is not the first thing I think about when I wake up and I intend to enjoy my life, drink wine, eat chocolate and not worry about what might or might not happen. You will get there I promise, just be gentle with yourself and do what makes you happy. Gain your strength from your wonderful family and lean on us when you need to.
Hugs (again lol)
Julie x
Thanks Julie - you have been lovely.
Dawn x
hi dawn
chemo does get more easier as each one goes by. i ticked them off in my wee red book and when i look back i realise the time went really quickly. re the mcmillan grant, there should be someone at your hospital, a benefits adviser who will fill in the form for you. ask your bcn to get you an apptment.
take care,need any help,someone to speak to or just to rant and rave give me a shout. im always around somewhere.
best wishes
maria
Hi Dawn
Here’s a link to Macmillan cancer support, the webpage you will be directed to contains information and advice about financial help and benefits available, they also have a helpline you may wish to call for more advice and you can access the number via this link too:
macmillan.org.uk/Get_Support/Financial_help/Financial_help.aspx
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi Dawn
I am going to ask about the grant on next session with BCN - it’s just really knowing that I may have something to fall back on ‘in case’. Family have rallied round and I’m sure I will get through this without going bankrupt!!!
Anita xxx
Good luck with it Anita. I am sure you will be ok. Dxx
Thank you Maria - I will ask a lot more questions next time I go for treatment on 29th. This time will just be in the day unit. The first time I had chemo they kept me in overnight to see how I would cope and the second time I had a port put in so hopefully this time will be what is ‘normal’ and I will know what to expect from then on. I have a long way to go as I have a year’s worth of chemo I have been told and then another treatment and then Herceptin. How is Herceptin given, is it via tablet or intravenously? Does anyone know.
All of my worries haven’t been as bad as I imagined and even my hair falling out (my pride and joy), I seemed to have an inner strength to deal with and I am really getting used to the wigs now (at first I cried and cried when I put it on), but now I am used to it although a little self conscious still, but I have bought lots of hair bands and some quite funky to distract away from the fake looking parting etc. The more I go out in it (3 times so far), the more confident I feel as I must be getting used to it. At home though I am just bald me with lots of hats for comfort. Thank you all for being so kind to me and helping me deal with this.
Hi Ladies
Just to butt in. I work in a hospital and have been told by Occupational health nurse categorically not to go near until well and truly well again. I am not even having chemo, only rads but they said that feeling tired etc will make me more susceptible to infections. Like someone else said, you cannot lose your job because of BC. It would make headline news especially if they are NHS!!! I know that money issues are a worry - don’t I know it, but remember it won’t be forever. Your health is more important and if you went back to work too soon, you would be off much longer in the long term
Thanks Cathy that’s really helpful. That’s great that your OH nurse has told you that. Did you have to go and see OH for them to tell you that. I am having chemo 3rd one next week. Thanks Cathy. Dxx
No, I just telephoned her at the OH department. They have guidelines for people being treated with chemo etc and she was adamant that working near sick people with an impaired immune system was not on. I would just ring your OH department and start from there. When I am due to go back, she wants me to contact her to work out a phased return so I dont go back full time straight away. I also work for a Prof!!
Ps, I only started my job in November, so you can imagine how awful I felt when diagnosed in Feb. They have reassured me that my job is safe. They have a locum in covering my clinics who knows its only until I am well again.
Cathy
xx
Thanks - that has reassured me a little as they must have guidelines to do the same across different Trusts. Have you been off work long? I have been off since 13 March 2008.