Worried Daughter

I was dx end Nov and will have my mx and recon at the end of this week. My 16 year old daughter is petrified she will get bc even though it has never been in the family until me. She now thinks she has a lump under her armpit, which I can’t feel. I have tried to convince her it could be her time of month and that she is too young but she is petrified and has GCSEs this summer (including some over the next week or so).
I have made an appointment for her to see our GP who may be able to reduce her fears but does anyone have any experience with this and suggestions for how I can discuss it sensibly with her to allay her fears ?
Many thanks

Lelly, get her to call the helpline in the meantime. They are not just for us but for our friends and family too. They might be able to explain the genetic link to her, and will take the time to do so.

Thanks Choccie Muffin, I didn’t really think about that as an option. It is so difficult for the whole family isn’t it :frowning:

Hi lelly

Breast cancer is an adult onset disease. 80% of all breast cancers occur in people age 50 or over. At age 40 the chance if getting BC is is 1 in 200 and at 30 it’s around 1 in 2000.

Your daughter risk will really depend on the specifics of your cancer… Eg if you were under 40 then she would be at a moderately increased risk and would be eligible to get screened early from about 35-40. If you had bilateral breast cancer under age 60 again she would be at a moderately increased risk. If you have triple negative Breast cancer (hormone neg for oest and prog and for her2) and were diagnosed under 40 then they can do genetic testing on you for brca1&2 if you wanted but if you have hormone positive BC they wouldn’t be able to do testing.

You can be referred to genetics to discuss your risk and your daughter can go with you so she can hear first hand.

There’s some good info which might help her too…
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/sites/default/files/dbc_breast_cancer_in_families.pdf
macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Causesriskfactors/Genetics/Cancergenetics/Geneticsandspecificcancertypes/Breast.aspx

Lulu xxxx

Many thanks Lulu, this is a great help. I think the statistics will help her and I will download the leaflets for her. She is a “glass half full” girl and I think living with this the last couple of months, especially leading up to the mx, has had a huge impact on her and I really want her to focus on her GCSEs…
Take care xx

Thanks again Lulu. Spoke to my BCN and she has kindly offered to speak to my daughter and explain everything so hopefully things will improve. I think it is not helped as she is right in the middle of GCSEs at the moment and under a great deal of pressure.
L x

This is an extra worry for you. You so want bc to have minimal impact on those around you. If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you let the school know the pressures your daughter is under. This may be taken into account by examiners if grades are not in line with expectations.
I hope doing as others suggested helps to calm your daughter.

Best wishes. Stella

Many thanks Stella. I saw info on another thread about possible support at school so have spoken to her head of year who is being very supportive. The exams officer has also agreed to talk to the exam boards so that is a great relief, even if they can’t do anything as I “only” have primary rather than secondaries, at least we are trying to do something. Have also arranged for her to speak to our GP tonight, who is fully in the picture so hopefully things will start to improve for her. She will at least know she is not on her own and has that vital support.
This is where this forum is so helpful. Thanks again x