Hi everyone, 

I’m unsure if it’s the right forum, but I’m stressing myself out, I had breast cancer grade 2, diagnosed oct 2020, had bi lateral mastectomy, my friend had breast cancer grade 4 1 year ago, her cancer has come back, no treatment for her, jeez I’m beside myself if mine comes back, I’m stressed to hilt, not sleeping, I’m deep breathing but god that’s not helping me in my head, omg I’m feel so sad for my friend but I’m cracking up if mine comes back, HELP

Hi Janepeter1,

Really sorry to hear about your friend and understandable that it has made you worry about your own diagnosis, hence sending a gentle hug. As I’m sure you are aware there are many different types of breast cancer, different grades (speed by which the cells grow) and stage (a measure of the how far it has spread). 

I am wondering if you might be confusing the grade of breast cancer, with the stage of breast cancer, since you mention your friend was diagnosed with grade 4 bc, when there is no grade 4, but there is stage 4. 

The grade is a measure of how slow/fast the bc cells grow, graded 1-3, 1 being slow, 3 fast growing (and 2 in the middle).

The stage is a measure of how much the bc has spread, so factors in size of bc lump, if there was any node involvement, if it was found to have spread from the breast elsewhere. Stage is measured as stage 1 -4:

  • stage 1 - early stage,
  • stage 2 - slightly more developed but still often referred to as relatively early stage
  • stage 3 - locally advanced bc
  • stage 4 - the bc has spread to another organ, or organs, or part of the bone/s. 

Hence given there is no grade 4 bc, if she had stage 4 bc when diagnosed bc, it would have been quite advanced. You might want to check what stage and grade yours was… if it was grade 2 and stage 2, then your diagnosis was for relatively early stage bc, particularly as compared with anyone diagnosed with stage 4 bc, where it has already spread to some degree.

The earlier bc is found (ie at the earlier stages), the treatment/s tend to be more successful, and chances of recurrence lower. As compared with someone who is diagnosed with stage 4 bc, where the bc has already spread beyond the breast and treatment is generally to try to stop it spreading more, reduce size, or slow the spread down.   

I hope that makes sense…do you think you mistook or misheard your friends stage and grade? You might find it helpful to phone one of the nurses at BCN on the telephone number at the top right hand side of the screen and have a chat about your concerns. 

Please see links to BCN info explaining the grade and stage (if you want to know a bit more) at the end of this message. 

If you want to get more responses your message would probably be seen more if you posted in the being treated for bc section or moving forwards after bc section of the forum. 

Really hope the above makes sense and makes you feel a bit less anxious/worried. If I’ve misunderstood anything you’ve said do let me know. Likewise if you think any of us can help any further.

X Seabreeze (grade 2, stage 2, 6 years on and doing ok)     

For more info about grade of bc, breastcancernow.org/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/diagnosed-breast-cancer/cancer-grade-size)

For more info about stage of bc, breastcancernow.org/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/diagnosed-breast-cancer/diagnosis/breast-cancer-stages

HI jayne

I have breast stage 4, no " Treatment ", no cure as such but they are controlling it. Already seen the difference on a scan and can feel it too from  just over 1 course of oral chemo daily with hormonal tablets daily.ow just finished my second 21 days feel awful, bloody c**p can’t do anything but the meds are doing their work.  

My philosophy only one can work at a time and at the moment that is my chemo.  When it has a holiday I will start some work ( around ) the house again.  I must let the tablets do their job.  My body is already having a fight and I do not want to add another sparring partner into the ring.

I have asked for mindfulness guides from my local hospital via the occ therapist.  They are available on our local hospital website.  Just tried to find the link to send over and can’t but the occupational therapist sent it across to me.  Being doing 1 week, bloody hard and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but when it doesn’t;t I get so cross with myself I fall asleep anyway still thinking but not of cancer.  Thunderbirds is also good to watch, quiet amusing, almost non violent as they are all there for the next episode. Please feel free to PM if I can help in anyway.

For the record I had cancer too 20 plus years ago so newbie on here but not to the workings of it.

Sending big hugs