Worried

Hi there I was wondering if anyone out there is in a similar situation to myself as I am feeling very fragile and vulnerable, I was first diagnosed in 2001 aged 41 I had 2,5 invasive ductal carcomina grade 2, 18 lymphs taken, 3 of which was cancerous, I went on to have fec x 6, radiotherapy, tamoxifen, unfortunately I had another local reaccurance in 2004 that time I had a masactomy, reconstruction, herceptin, taxol, my overies removed and arimidex, a couple of weeks ago I found 2 lumps in my neck which have been diagnosed as cancerous lymphs. I am now awaiting my scan results and will see my oncologist next week for the results and find myself going mad with worry. Just when I thought in was out of the woods and beginning to feel a little easier about the cancer this happens. I would love to speak to someone similar although I would not wish it upon anyone.

Hi

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Best wishes
June, moderator

oh lee i really feel for you, you are going through the mill, i know how you feel waiting for results and tests and wondering what is next.
iv’e just had treatment for the 3rd time myself, twice in right breast, now lymph nodes in left breast, same cancer, must have been looking for a new place to go, bugger!.
do you have any idea what they have planned for you, i know i will prob have more chemo, i hope you get through the next few days ok, i will be thinking about you.
love reneexx

Renee
Thank you for your kind words it is so nice to know I am not the only one going through this (although I would not wish it upon my worst enemy). I do not know what treatment I shall be having, Breast care nurse seems to think radiotherapy, possibly chemo and a change in hormone drugs, my oncologist has been involved in the trials for the new drug lip (not sure how to spell it) the one which is supposed to be better than herceptin which I had last time. I do put my trust in him and know he will give me the best possible. I am sick with worry and just look forward to the end of the day when I can take a sleeping pill and get away from it for some time. My family make me go for walks with the dog and for a drink at the pub which I would usually love to do but at the moment I find it hard to take much pleasure in anything I am taking anti depressants and waiting for them to kick in which hopefully will make me feel better. I must sound so negativebut I am not usually like that. A bit about myself (maybe you could let me know a bit about yourself).
I am 49 years old, lovely husband, 3 children 22 20 and 11 and abig black dog, used to work as a social worker for learning disability team. I am sorry to hear that yours has returned for the 3rd time also, I had just go to 4 years with the second one had a big summer party to celebrate my 50th birthday and thought perhaps I could start to put it all behind me when this happens.I am not sure if this is the same one, I dont know about you but sometimes I find it easier not to ask too many questions in case I dont like the answers.
When did you have your cancers and how much time between them. I do not like the thought of more chemo but probably like you want everything possible. I shall be thinking of you and let you know my results. Bye for now Lee xx

hi lee,
just read your reply just about to go to bed , i will be 49 in december, married with 2 kids 26 and 24 and grandaughter who will be 3 in december, all still living at home.
1st dx age 30 had lumpectomy chemo and rads no hormones as neg cancer, then 2007 cancer returned on scar line and had mx plus recon and chemo no rads as cant have it twice in same area triple-neg so no hormones, then had uplift to good breast in march 2009 didn’t heal well and found lump under arm in june 09 dx with spread to lymph nodes and had them removed on wed 19th aug, just got out hospital on fri, with drains still attached, going tomorrow hopefully to have it removed, probably have more chemo but don’t know yet will have to wait till all has been decided.
so have no nodes left, i know exactly how you feel i am still devastated but seem to be running on auto-pilot, they have said this is going to be complicated as pathology of tumour was strange, but as i did’nt understand it all iv’e decided to go with the flow. i will be thinking about you and let me know how you are doing, i wish i could have a really big sleeping pill as it is good to get away from it for a while. my sister is a social worker with children and young adults so i know it can be a very demanding job, so mind and take care of yourself.
love reneexx

Hi Renee
Thanks for your reply I didnt realise you were still in hospital hope you manage to get home today which hospital are you in, Hope the drains are taken out soon, I really hated them. My sister is with me today to keep me company, and collecting my youngest daughter today so shall be kept busy. You could ask your doctor for sleeping tabs they will not give you many as they are addicive, but I would argue that once I can move on from this I will fight that battle, it surly cant be as hard as this. I had a lovely nights sleep last night and makes life much easier the next day, One more day till my results my husband and sister in law who is a nurse will be coming with me three heads are better than one, I can never remember what they have said, I know my cancer is Oestrogeon pos and HER2. Like you I get to the point where I dont want to know any more as I find the whole thing absolutly exhausting and my head just goes round and round with thoughts. You are the same age as me I bet your house is very busy with everyone still at home. Mine are all still here also we have a very house, my eldest daughter is training to be a Ed psychologist she starts work on monday next week, my son is training to be a quantity surveyor working in london and studing for his degee one day a week and my youngest is due to start secondary school soon.
Hope you get home soon and get a good nights sleep speak to you soon
love leexxxxx

Good luck tomorrow Lee.

Malx

Hi everyone
just wanted to wish you luck, Lee
I am on second diagnosis, similar age, 50 with kids 23 and 21 still at home, and also come from SW/nursing background. first time was grade 1 and had mx and tamoxifen, this time grade 3 - chemo (FEC x6, starting on weds)rads and then ?letrozole. Its hard isn’t it, thinking you are OK and then having that old rug pulled from under you. Keep thinking that I had 12 good years and I need to appreciate that, its just that I want 30 more and keep wondering how feasible that is!
hope things go well for you tomorrow - will look out for your posting, although am out celebrating 25th wedding anniversary (timing, eh?) tomorrow
looks like I’ll be starting chemo still wrecked from the night before, but you know what? I don’t bloody care!!!
Renee, hope you are looking after yourself
Mal, hello
monica xxx

hi lee,
i could be doing with a sleeping pill the now.
hope you got on okay today, wer’e all really thinking about you
this is the worst part, going for results.
lots of love reneexx

Lee - hope it has gone okay…

Just wanted to send my love to you all… this disease is such a **** especially the way it comes back just when you are finally sighing a breathe of relief that now all seems okay…:frowning:

Take care

Theresa x

hi lee,
just noticed we haven’t heard from you, i really hope you had good results please let us know when you are ready.
thinking of you
love reneexx