Hi I am newie to all this. Went on a healthy living day and was told about the Web site so decided to have a go at it.
Finished radiotherapy would like to chat to other people in the same position who just like to talk a lot.
Hi ettelock,
I was dx in jan o4, lumpectomy 12mm tumour, no nodes involved, grade3 ER+, chemo, radio’ and now on tamoxifen.
This website is very good and everyone is very friendly, WELCOME…though sorry you have had to join the BC club.
We’re very chatty on here, so please post and keep in touch.
Take care
karen x
Hi ettelock,
I finished radiotherapy in September and have my 1st follow up soon.
Look forward to corresponding with you.
Kat
Hi, Kat due to see oncologist on Mon 29th Oct do not know if I will be given drugs or not. Finished
radio in May this year.
Will see what happens on Monday.
Look forward to corresponding with you also.
Love
Ette
Hi Ette
I was dx in Dec 06. Had lumpectomy for 17mm tumour. No nodes involved. Am ER+ and HER2+. Have had chemo, rads and now have Herceptin every 3 weeks until next May. I also take Femara daily. Finished rads in Sept and now feel a bit lost - don’t really know what happens next regarding follow ups. Like you I would like to chat with people in a similar position.
Love
Jibby X
Hello everyone,
I don’t think I am having any medication. I do want to discuss potential nipple reconstruction and tattooing- I was adamant that I did not want this and still not sure if I do but would like to discuss it with someone.
I am also worried as I still haven’t shown much emotion towards the whole BC business. I sense that I am heading for an emotional outpouring soon and just wish it would hurry up as I need it so that I can move forward. I have a pent up anger that will explode soon but still have not had enough time on my own to go into ‘sorry for myself’ mode and let it all out. Has anyone elso felt like this?
Kat x
Ette, Kate and Jibby, how you’re feeling is very very familiar. I gather that it’s very common to feel down at the end of treatment, but I wish someone had told me! I’m managing to climb out of my pit a bit more every day, but it wasn’t good being at the bottom. I had a good old rant on live chat on a Thursday night and felt loads better - I fully recommend it! For me, the issue has been that i focused all my energy during treatment on coping with what was being thrown at me. When the appointments finally stopped, I actually had to think about what had happened and what the future might bring.
Why don’t you come online this Thurs and we can chat with others about it - there are lots of people, all at different stages.
Sarah
XXX
Hi Sarah,
What time does this start?
It is good to know that we are not alone!
Kat x
Hi Everyone,
I feel like I need to talk or I might just go mad.
I had my last rad on Sept 5th. I’ve just rejoined my gym after being away for a year. On friday I managed to swim just 4 lengths before being completely whacked! my arms still ache. I feel really pathetic! It’s also true that now I’m back at work the bc isn’t mentioned and I feel like the support I had from family and friends has been significantly withdrawn. So why then do I feel this real sense of sadness? I can burst into tears without any warning. I think that because I had to be so strong to get through the treatment it’s only now that I am allowing my feelings through and I have a kind of delayed shock. Does that make any sense? I’m hoping that I’ll soon start to feel less tired and emotional and will think about the experience less often.
It feels like everyone is just leaving me alone to get on with it. When I was undergoing treatment I had lots of attention and the daft thing is I didn’t really appreciate it then coz I just wanted to go to bed, and tell them to clear off and leave me alone. Now I feel like I need the support they are all getting on with thier own lives. I’m divorced and now have a significant other but he lives 340 miles away so isn’t here to give me a cuddle, and I know that’s what I need right now. I’m trying to keep busy to take my mind off the bc issue but it is keeping me awake at nights.
Love to chat, when does it kick off on Thursday
Adrienne x
Hi everyone
The live chat session starts at 9pm until 10pm on a Thursday. Details can be found at :-Search Results | Breast Cancer Now_id=6218.
Please feel free to join the session this Thursday.
Kind regards
Katie
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
Hi
hope you don’t mind me joining in. It’s reasuring to know that the thoughts I’m having are ones that everyone else seems to have. It’s quite scary to think you’ve had these medical people helping you for months on end and now it all stops unless you contact someone with a problem.
take care
Sue
Hi again
Adrienne- I finished Radiotherapy on the 18th September and, like you, rejoined the gym. I also started back with my running club. I ran the Great South Run yesterday, without stopping and couldn’t believe that I completed it as my surgeon, BCN, gym instructor and running coach did not think that I would be ready- I always aim to prove people wrong!
BUT I STILL HAVEN’T CRIED!- thats all I want to do but I can’t do it. As emotional as it should have been, it done nothing for me. My only thoughts were that I’ve done it and I’ve got the marathon to do in April. My friend who completed it with me was more emotional!
It’s strange how its effecting us in different ways.
Kat
Hi Kat,
Well done you!!! I can’t run to save my life. Make sure you get plenty of rest though coz your body will need time to recover. Don’t worry about the emotional side of things we all cope in different ways, maybe you are able to chanel yours into the running. Let me ask you a really insane question don’t answer if you don’t want to. Were you running away from your emotions, were you angry with your emotions or anything /something else. It could be that’s how you are coping. Who’s right and who’s wrong does it matter?
You won’t end up with a certificate or anything and it’s not compulsory is it?
Adrienne
Adrienne, the sadness is a natural part of the change curve - so my counsellor says. You have to feel sad before you can feel better. And for a lot of us the weepiness goes with the sadness. Both will get less, but my experience was that I had to let it all out first. I still have days when I feel really low, but they’re less frequent and self-destructive. I do think there’s something very important about the exhaustion here too - if you’re shattered, a good old cry comes naturally.
Sue, you’re welcome! Hope it makes you feel a bit better to join in!
Kate, maybe your way is not to cry after all? Well done you for the physical achievement - that’s really really amazing.
Ette - how did you get on today? You started this thread - you come back here and tell us how you’re doing!!
Sarah
XXX
Hi,
Am hoping to be able to join in on the live chat on Thursday evening, sounds like it might help. I’m on the younger womens forum in Leeds in November and am hoping to find some answers and mutual support there. I did attend a healthy living day some time ago and found it really useful. Met some pretty amazing women too. This last week has been really hard for me, but the worse was definately when first dx, the agony of the waiting for results etc. So somewhere in amongst all these emotions is a pathway leading me through it all, I’ve just got to trust that I will find it.
Adrienne x
Hi ettlock,
Feel like I can empathise with you a bit. I live on my own and when I was diagnosed and had surgery, I had so much ‘attention’ from other people which helped a great deal. As the months have gone on (had mastectomy in March), people tell me I look great and think I’m just fine. I still need lots of support as the Tamoxifen and Zoladex are hard work, but don’t want to appear pathetic.
At least everyone here knows how you are feeling and send lots of cyber (((( HUGS )))) - which are great, if not as good as the real thing!
Hope things get better for you real soon.
love,
Jacki xx
Hi Adrienne,
In answer to your question, I have always been emotional- could cry at the drop of a hat but since the initial first diagnosis tears (only a few), I have lost the art of crying! It is very unlike me. I feel that I need to cry to move on but then don’t as ‘I am lucky’- I had an early diagnosis, prompt treatment and its all over apart from the check ups and maybe a nipple reconstruction and tattooing.
Running has helped and it clears my head a bit. My anger is being channelled into the fact that I don’t want to go back to my job in January (it was not a good place to be before my surgery and I have been told that it has got worse) and I am focussing on finding a new one.
Emotions are a funny thing.
Kat x
Hi Kat
This is my second attempt to comment as I got thrown off the first time. Probably because we’ve had so many trick and treaters around that it took too long.
Emotions: I recommend a good weepie movie on your own. I got to the bit where the dog died and absolutely broke my heart. It was obviously pent up emotions following diagnosis rather then my normal ability to cry at anything sad.
Nipple Reconstruction: I was diagnosed with DCIS and had a mastectomy and immediate breast reconstruction using the back muscle - LD Flap. I followed this up with a nipple recon (doesn’t take very long under a local anaesthetic) where my surgeon just tweaked the flesh and put in a couple of stitches. Tattoos came a couple of months later (I asked for a butterfly but they insisted on pigmentation only!). I quite happily sunbathe topless and the tan certainly makes the new breast look much nicer and more normal. My new breast may not be perfect and I do find it a little heavy but it is far better than the alternative. You might like to ask your nurses whether there is anyone in your vicinity who would be prepared to show you their ‘finished product’. I was offered this opportunity and found it very consoling as the photographs I was shown were far from flattering. Hope this helps.
L&K
Sandra
Glad to have new faces on here because boy do i need to talk to someone. Had mastectomy chemo and rads now just on tamoxifen though hoping to discuss poss of recon next yr. Returned to work 6 weeks ago to a job i’d loved and done well for last 3 years working for small charity. Since returning i have been bullied weekly, sometimes daily by manager. I have been accused of lying even though i have provided proof that there was no lies told, accused of doing things i have not done and really don’t know where to turn except resign which i don’t want to do as i enjoy my job and don’t want to let a bully win. Would appreciate any advice at all please as absolutely at wits end
Hi Mounties
I am sorry to read of your difficulties at work and can appreciate that you must be finding it very hard to cope with this difficult situation at the moment.
I am sure you will receive valuble support and advice from others on the forums, but you may also find that Acas and the Citizens Advice Bureau can provide some useful information.
I have given their website addresses here:
www.acas.org.uk
www.citizensadvice.org.uk
I do hope you find their websites helpful
Kind regards.
Katie
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care