Yet More Worry
Yet More Worry Hi Girls- it is amazing how I am shifting my goalposts on what classifies as bad news…
Diagnosed on 22nd March with bc - devastated - but now that would be wonderful.
Was due for surgery for WLE today but called to see my consultant yesterday. No operation as there is something on both lungs that needs further investiation (had CT scan yesterday morning). Today I am off for bone scan…will get the results next Thursday.
I know (I keep being told) to keep positive but I feel that every time I get more news, the situation is worse and I feel like I have been hit by a train again.
My lovely children have been sent to a friends house and my partner and I just cried last night…hard to be positive…
How are you /did you cope with this level of concern?
LOL
Heather
x
It’s a nightmare isn’t it! Morning Heather,
this whole thing is just a nightmare isn’t it?! It’s like just when you think you’ve had all the bad news you could possibly have they deliver another blow. I am 34 and was diagnosed almost 4 weeks ago now, although I feel like I have been living with bc forever and I can not remember what my life was like before. I am quite sure I have always been a bit of a worrier but god only knows what I ever had that was important enough to worry about before this. Probably things like what we were going to have for tea!
I really do feel for you as everytime I manage to finally get my head round something then something else rears its ugly head. I had a mastectomy 2 weeks ago and am now waiting on my CT scan prior to my appt with the oncologist. Was worried sick about the mastectomy and was so relieved when it was all over, but now theres the scan to worry about.
Having scoured the forum pages, most women, from what I’ve seen, have said that they had areas on scans that needed further investigation that then turned out to be ok. I certainly will not tell you not to worry as I know that you will, as we all do. My support network is great but everytime I go for results everyone tells me not to worry as it will be fine! I lost my rag the other day and felt terrible as I snapped at my best friend, saying that how did she know everything would be fine, as everyone thought my lump would just be a cyst and it wasn’t!
I will be thinking of you today and I really hope things go better than you think. At least you are receiving the best possible care and they are not leaving any stone unturned.
Lets hope the news today is good, god knows we could all do with a bit of good news!
Take care of yourself,
Love,
Kelly
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Breast Cancer Care
thinking of you I feel terrible, i have just made my latest post and then read your post. Heather i wish i could hug you, i can tell you that a bone scan isn’t as bad as it sounds its a boring process to be honest but i know how worrying this time is as i had CT, bone and an MRI too. Its not bad or wrong to worry or cry we all deal with things differently but when you have done your crying shake yourself off and remember to stay positive. That doesnt mean don’t worry, it means no matter what don’t give up! My husband helped me through with a silly little phrase and its the best thing ever! ‘Baby steps’, this is what i would recommend to anyone, baby steps, don’t worry about the next day, next week or even the next afternoon, just get through this one morning, one afternoon, one scan at a time. Don’t think any further ahead than a couple of hours, i promise you it does work. The last thing i remember when getting put under for my mastectomy 2 weeks ago was saying the words ‘baby steps’. I can’t hug you or make your pain and worry go away but i can give you my ‘baby steps’ and i hope you try this.
Chin up, stay positive and take those baby steps i’m sending you.
LOL
Jamie Lee
xxxxx
just wanted to say hang in there-my breastcare nurse said better they are over investigaing-am told need mri on liver next week-after 3 yrs am fed up but do feel its good there are so thorough.noone cant stop you worrying-try to keep mind occupied on other things-not easy.many of these recalls are nothing-if its something then drs will have a plan .hugs love sharonx
just to say i am thinking of you, hope it goes well.
sharon. x
A Glimmer of Good News (I thnk) Hi you wonderful girls who support and encourage through our darkest hours.
Thanks for the replies to my earlier post - and Jamielee, never apologise for a rant - we are amongst friends here and with what we are all going through - rant to your heart’s content.
Anyway - had my bone scan today and the lovely radiographer (if that is the right name for those involved in nuclear medicine) asked why I had been pushed through as an urgent case - after the scan he asked me to wait and then he called my partner and me into a side room (heart sank as you can imagine)…but he got me in to tell us that my bones were clear…
I gather from my consultant yesterday that this means that the bc and the spots in lung are not connected…I can’t believe that I have lung cancer in both lungs as I am not breathless, do not smoke, do not have a cough and feel fine…so am hopeful that whatever that is, it is not too sinister…
Anyway wanted to share my ‘high’ with you all. and send my love and hugs to you all…
We are all strangers - yet all so close!!
LOL to you all
Heather
X
What a worry for you, Heather!
I had all my tests before my mammogram and the CT Scan showed a blemish of some kind on my lung, but not on the bone scan. I was told they’d keep an eye on it closely in the future. Still, very scarey indeed, so I can fully understand how you felt.
Huge hugs to you - hang in there!!
Jacki xx
For Heather Dear Heather
I am new to this but so glad to hear your better news. Hang on in there. If it is any consolation you have already helped me - diagnosed last Wednesday and with the mastectomy on 1 May. Unreal. But you give me strength and I send you a huge hug of thanks. Keep well!
Love DilysP
For DilysP Good luck with the mastectomy Dilys - keep posting so we know how you are doing…
I feel a positive weekend coming on and may even tackle the pile of ironing that has not been touched over the last week…
My partner noted to friends last night that I am back to normal as driving him mad - but was relieved that my annoying 100 miles an hour side is back…
LOL
Hx
Weekend Dear Heather
Thanks for that - and strangely being in touch with everyone has ended up with me feeling a lot more positive this morning. I slept well for the first time in ages ( thanks to whoever posted the Nytol tip). Am also comng to terms with letting everyone down at work. Colleagues have been wonderful, though telling people is awful isn’t it?
Try and enjoy this beautiful weather. One day at a time I reckon.
Love
Dilys
I have only last week got results of bone scan despite being dx in November. I had a long wait then cancelled due to hospitalization. When I went to hospital on Tuesday the onc said there were 2 areas of concern my jaw and my forehead. I had had a tooth out in December that took a long time to heal so he was happy with that, he thinks that skull one is sinus. I will have to wait until my next appointment in three weeks to find out. He says that the scans are so detailed they show lots of irregularities, and he seems not to be too worried. Hope nothing to worry about!! It is scary isn’t it. I won’t say don’t worry because that’s impossible take care love Eileen
It so makes a difference when someone takes the time to put your mind at ease like that.enjoy the nice weather and keep thinking positive! .Good luck Dilys for your op-you will get thru it-at the time it feels impossible but we do see that light at the end of that bloody tunnel! love to you all sharon x
PS.lots of us sharons around at the moment!!!
Hi Heather,
I know how worrying it must be for you - I had my MRI the week before Christmas and so had to wait till after Christmas to get the results - it thankfully turned out to be ok - there was no spread from the breast but Christmas was spent with a thought at the back of my mind that it may have been the last one where I felt ok or even that it could be my last one - they were very tough weeks for my husband and I, and my sister etc But we somehow got through it and here I am 7 weeks post mastectomy and recon and getting stronger each day and feel very positive about the future now - love my husband more than I did before (if that was possible) - my sister and I have become much closer as we used to be when we were young girls and I can’t wait to get back to work and get back to normal again. So as hard as those months between November and end of March have been they do pass and things do get better. Best of luck - you will be amazed at how strong you are,
lots of love Chloexxx
good news on the bones.
do take care.
sharon. x
Hi Heather I’m wondering if you are being treated at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich (I see from your profile you’re in the London and the South area).
Just that the radiographer (Irish chap, in his 60’s) at the Nuclear Medicine department who supervised my bone scan did exactly the same as he did at yours…asked me to wait, called in OH and myself, and told us the scan was clear!
I could have kissed him!
Dee
x
For Dee You should be a detective - you are spot on - and I did kiss him…
I take it we have the same consultant etc.
How are you getting on - what stage are you at?
I can’t believe the coincidence here Dee.
LOL
Heather
x
Hi Heather I had a feeling as soon as I read your post re the bone scan!
My consultant is Mr. Thakur. Oncologist Mr. Bryant. BC nurses, Sarah and Jenny.
All began with enlarged lymph node in right underarm. Got referred to Qn Eliz. Mr. Thakur ordered mammo and ultrasound. Nothing found. Then had chest x-ray, CT scan, bone scan, and MRI (all seem standard practice except the MRI). I had the MRI to try and pinpoint breast primary as core biopsy on lymph gland showed bc cells. MRI showed two suspicious lesions. Mr. T said I needed mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy and axillary clearance. I cried. Was offered second opinion with Prof. Fentiman at Guys, so saw him. He said I could keep breast, but had to have all the rest. I thought GREAT, I could keep my cleavage!!
So I had the axillary clearance about a month ago as a day case. Only one lymph node affected out of 13. And that was the one that was enlarged.
However last Thursday I saw the Onc for the 1st time. Mr. Bryant is a very straight forward man. Told me chemo would not zap the lesions in my breast. Said he wanted me to live to be 100, and the best chance of achieving that was to have the mastectomy. I cried again. But somehow, I trust and believe him. He said St. Thomas’s have wonderful plastic surgeons and I could have recon a year after treatment finishes there. So I now have an appt with Mr. Thakur this Thursday ( 19th April), and I guess I will bite the bullet and have the mastectomy, though I am not sure how I will take it, emotionally. Then the chemo and radiotherapy.
Forgotten now, what stage you are at, so will have to read back when I have posted this.
When are you next at clinic? As I said, I will be there Thursday next at around 4.30 ish I think (appt card downstairs) at the Macmillan Brook Unit.
Dee
x
Hi Sharon Dear Sharon
Thanks for the good wishes. Sleepless at the moment but will get there. Looking at everyone walking around today with what you think is no worry - it just goes to show really. How many of them have had this problem? Or indeed worse? I start another exciting social week at the hospital ready for the big day on 1 May, with still no real clue as to the best thing to chose. My fault, not theirs. I cannot believe how great the BC nurses, consultants and everyone have been. Just wish it wasn’t me! Bet you would all agree with that!
Love to all and try to sleep well
Dilys