younger women in newcastle upon tyne?

younger women in newcastle upon tyne?

younger women in newcastle upon tyne? hi
i have just been diagnosed and find myself desperate to talk, all friends are at work so am sat wondering if this dreadful quiet will ever be broken, also phone calls drying up, i think people are terrified of saying the wrong thing, so just aren’t calling
anyone else in newcastle fancy a coffee?

Hi Techy,

I’m not in Newcastle; I’m in Glasgow so that would be a long trip for a coffee but I just wanted to reply to your post.

I found too that friends avoided calling and one day questioned them on it. They all said the same things about why they didn’t call. Didn’t want to disturb me if I was asleep, in pain, vomiting from chemo or spending quality time with husband/ family. They also said they felt bad about telling me what they had been up to - like out drinking and dancing, or having a new hairdo for example in case it upset me.

I told my friends to call whenever they wanted and if it was a bad time for me for any reason I either wouldn’t answer or my husband would answer and take a message. I also told them that I still wanted to hear about the mad nights out and all the normal stuff they had been up to.

I’m almost a year post diagnosis now and am settling back into the madness nicely. Thoroughly enjoying the drunken nights out with the girls and being adventurous with my new hair. I’m also going back to work tomorrow for the first time in 11 months.

It’s a very scary place to be when you are first diagnosed but I found that the time during treatment flies by and I can’t believe where I am now

My advice would be to be straight with your friends; just tell them you want to chat, maybe they think you don’t. I’m always up for a good cyber natter so I’ll chat to you if you want!

Take care and good luck,

Carla x

for techy I felt so sorry for you when i read your message. I went through exactly the same thing with friends[well people who I thought were friends!!] Alot of “friends” when they found out never got in touch with me. One friend sat with me 2 days after I’d found out I had to have chemo, she held my hand and said “Don’t worry we’ll get you through this”, that was Xmas Day 2005, I haven’t seen her since!!! I don’t live near any family and the only people I know here are at my workplace, and because I’ve been off work I feel very isolated. I also never met any women my age [41 when diagnosed] at any hospital/chemo appointments. There’s not a support group at my hospital maybe there’s one at yours? I don’t live in Newcastle but not far away from there. I wish you all the best and please keep in touch.
Best wishes
Bookworm

Near Newcastle Hi techy
I live not far from Newcastle (Chester-le-street) and since giving up work due to diagnosis am always at the Metro pottering around and looking for things to spend money on so would be up for a coffee anytime. I am also just at the other end of a phone should you ever need to talk. I belong to a fantastic support group for younger women which meets at the QE in Gateshead if you are interested in that type of thing. We are all at varying stages in this journey and meet once every two months to discuss everything from diagnosis, to treatment to how useless our friends are. I was diagnosed over 2 years ago at age 35 and am currently doing ok. I understand exactly what you mean about friends ‘being there’ and have found myself increasing isolated, especially with no longer working. Anyway, not sure if we can or how we can pass on contact details through this site but if you are interested in either the chat, coffee or the support group let me know and I’ll figure out how to get in touch.
Take care
Karen

retail therapy! Hi Karen

a trip for a coffee at the metro would be fab, got surgery on tuesday, so a couple of weeks time would be fab!

I cannot wait to get tuesday out of the way and this little b*****d out of me…but also terrified of surgery and what the outcome/prognosis will be, i suppose we can only go forwards
claire

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Hi Clare

Best of luck with your op tomorrow and hopefully you will be up for some retail therapy soon. Even if you don’t feel like venturing out for a while, remember I am always at the other end of the phone should you need someone to talk to.

Take care
Karen