4 pm appointment

[Bluecat]

Thsnks so much Evie 💗 always kind words.  No doubt I will be on here occasionally with ups and downs but I will definitely let you know whst will happen on Wednesday.  Im booking the day off work as I won't be able to handle working plus the results on the same day. The amount of leave I've taken already...  Im.just so shocked how quick it all is happening, i guess I shouldn't be complaining because if I need surgery to save my life under current covid circumstances I should be  so grateful thst NHS sre still operating.  This is what I need to remember and remind myself.  I need to stop worrying how others feel ( as in how they will take the news) if I have been diagnosed for example and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, mortality has always been a gremlin on my shoulder since I was young for some odd reason.   My sister is the worst as she panics and I've had to be her 2nd mum.  I know my 10 year old son and hubby will be ok.  They are used to me going to hospital with stones that are stuck lol..but i will have to tell my son this is a slightly different one that will need a punch in the face 👊😂 . 

All your kind words are making me feel strong again 💗, i feel like ive been put back to reality and hugged 😘until next time 😂xx

[Evie-S]

Hi Bluecat - we are right here holding your hand. The waiting really is horrible. Thinking back I am sure I had my biopsy on a Tuesday and the appointment for the results was booked while I was still there on the Tuesday, for the following Monday 6 days later. I’m sure all hospitals operate differently but it sounds like mine was the same as yours - so standard procedure to pre-book everyone so they can be seen as soon as possible.

See if you can take your own good advice and park the worries in a box until Tuesday. Definitely try not to second guess and put 2 and 2 together and make 5. I remember reading advice that said if you worry now and the result is negative, then you have wasted time worrying. If you worry and it turns out positive you have worried twice about the same thing. It’s always easier to give advice than take it and we would be superhuman if we could just lock our worries away.

Keep chatting, and see if you can make some special “me time” plans for Sunday. I love Jan’s comment that Bluekitten needs some nurturing. Evie xx 💕

[Bluecat]

Hi Jan, thanks for your help 💗

So I have had my biopsy and 2nd mamo, they then specifically said I would get the results within a week and get my result letter which apparently is in the post.  I rang the breast clinic on the off chance to find out what time and day they were expecting me and confirmed 4pm on the 14th.  So im shocked this has happened so quickly? I only had the biopsy Tuesday afternoon.  So im assuming they turn things around quicker with covid maybe

The breast clinic was really busy on Tuesday and I couldn't believe the amount of patients in and out.  

But yes I am on this ride....certainly didn't think I would be with my doctor saying its non rash shingles, im glad I pushed for a mammogram ( well glad in a twisted way!!) My gp said i was too young for a mamo!  how can you be too young!! Im assuming breast tissue being far more dense its hard to see any abnormalities on the xray perhaps ...

Xx

[Jaybro]

Hi Bluecat

This is the world of breast cancer - on firm ground one moment, drowning the next, finding more firm ground, then stepping into quicksand... you must get the point by now. We are on an emotional rollercoaster.

I apologise if I misled you. I thought you’d already had your biopsy and were going for the results. You won’t get the results there and then as they have to go to histology. Then if they are worrying, they go to a multi-disciplinary team where they all out their heads together. Then you are seen for the kind of appointment I was describing. There can be a lot of appointments and a lot of waiting. The only time you might get a ‘result’ was if they were absolutely certain about what they can see, which isn’t very often.

As for time, the timing of an appointment means nothing. I’ve known morning clinics run into afternoon. Some people need more time than others. Some ask more questions. Some want to get out as fast as they can. Everyone is different but there’s always waiting...and more waiting...you recognise the old hands by their books and kindles.

I hope you’ve found another pair of big girl’s pants by now but don’t beat yourself up if you’re still in a tizz. Even control freaks can be gentle with themselves. I really recommend tuning in to Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing on YouTube - she has me sorted in minutes and letting go is not something I do willingly. There are lots of other self-help videos and, to my surprise, they do seem to help. I suggest a weekend of just looking after Bluecat and the tiny Bluekitten that’s inside xx

[Bluecat]

thanks Evie, ❤ 

Its just how my mind works!! I think if I was a radiologist or consultant I would also wait to go over any treatment cases as im assuming it takes abit of time...so in my silly head I am putting 2 and 2 together 

I havent eaten anything today my eyes are stinging from crying but hubby will be home soon so thst will feel better.  

Thsnks so much Tilli and Evie for kind words, 💗we can virtual hold hands!! Sundays are worst for me for some reason so I really must get myself busy xx

[Bluecat]

Hi Tili, Thank you, yes im just so so concerned, I really am, trying to find answers, I feel sick and definitely out in the cold.  Im certainly not myself since last night.  All the fears from having a marker put in, to having a late appointment...its only because I rang them and they have scheduled an appointment ready,I haven't actually received my letter yet in the post.  I cant believe they would have got the biopsy back by then?? I only had it Tuesday afternoon?? Im shocked its come back that quick, if it has that is.  Do they pre schedule appointments ready? 

I cannot believe this is actually happening....one minute im strong as an ox then anything that doesn't feel or sound right im all over the place again.  

I feel exhausted from worry.  

Thank uou for your kind words, you certainly picked up on how scared I am...

Xx

[Evie-S]

Hi Bluecat - I’d agree with Tili’s lovely words. Hugs from me too.

Can I just ask why you think 4pm would mean bad news? That may be the only time available? Mine was in the morning. I wouldn’t read anything into the time of your appointment - unless I have missed something in your message.

Evie xx🤗

[Tili]

Dear Bluecat, thinking of you, take a deep breath and let’s all hope the outcome will be better than expected, I know you are feeling so frightened, but you can do this and I feel you will. Take a little notepad and pen with you so you can write a few note down. Also a small bottle of water......

On this site we have all been through this, and we know you can do this we all run away with ourselves. As the afternoon goes on I will be thinking of you. LOTS OF LOVE AND A VERY BIG HUG. Tili x please let us all know how you are 

[Bluecat]

Hi, sorry been on here alot taking up you lovely time 💗

I font think things are looking good, im going from one bad scenario to another....

Its now dawned on me that I guessed how late my biopsy appointment is (4pm) and I'm assuming that its late to discuss a treatment plan...all my thoughts snd fears are back. Why else have a scheduled late appointment?? 

Cannot deal with this, its too real and bloody scarey...

Xx