Biopsy needed and losing my mind with anxiety

[TV1980]

How did you get on?

[emstein77]

I get them tomorrow.  Deep breaths.  

[delly]

Hi @emstein77 - So sorry you're having to go through all this. Sending you Heartfelt wishes for you to stay strong, girl. Hope you're results are good, favourable ones for you. Let us know your results. You've had some lovely supportive messages from @BabyBunting and @Jaybro  who always provides some good sensible advice (Hi again Jan 👋Hope you're doing okay X) 

Lots of love to you, and everyone else on here,  Delly x❤️x

[BabyBunting]

When do you get your results? X

[emstein77]

Just got back from my biopsy. The doctor there said what they are seeing is highly suspicious. I’m a bi-rad 5. The only thing I’m grasping onto is that it’s small (under 2 cm) and my lymph nodes look ok based on the ultrasound. Trying so so hard to stay positive but I feel like I need to start mentally preparing for a BC diagnosis. 

[emstein77]

Thank you Babybunting! I leave for my biopsy in a few hours and just trying to stay busy until then. I got some sleep last night which is making me feel a bit more human. One step at a time. 
emily

[BabyBunting]

Emily if it is BC you WILL deal with it. We’re all much stronger than we think, and you’ll get through this, and it’ll make you a much stronger person-things like this always do. You’ll be able to transmit that strength to your twins and they’ll grow up strong too. Please don’t panic. Life is full of these challenges-my mum has BC aged 60, and she’s a fit 87 year old now. You’ll get through it. It’s not easy, and parts can be really difficult, but it’s maneagable. Try not to stress too much xx

[emstein77]

Hi Jan, 

Thank you SO MUCH for your reply.  I really appreciate your thoughts and support.  It feels like you understand, from personal experience, how diagnosed anxiety plays into this whole thing and it's comforting to hear.  You are correct- I don't have cancer yet.  I need to wait for the facts.  

I spoke with my primary care nurse today (or rather sobbed my way through a conversation) and she prescribed be some Xanax for the short term to help me sleep.  She also talked a little bit about the statistics and possibilities which calmed me a bit.  She had my report in front of her and was able to tell me that the mass they found was about 1 CM in every direction and I had no enlarged lymph nodes.  Those facts made me feel more calm, too.

Thanks for the well wishes tomorrow.  I really appreciate it. 

Emily

[Jaybro]

Hi Emily

First, what you’re feeling is completely normal so don’t equate anxiety and fear with weakness of any kind. You’re not falling short at all. I have suffered all my life with anxiety disorder, panic attacks and phobias. I was terrified when I got my diagnosis - not because of cancer but because of my phobias, and the hospital bent over backwards to support me. So long as you are frank with them and ask for help, it’s almost always there.

BUT that is jumping the gun. Did you know that between 60 and 90% of breast lumps presented at breast clinics turn out to be benign? Way back in the 1980s, I found a huge lump - it was a fibroadenoma, a formation of gristly tissue, and was removed. No further problems for 40 years. So the odds so far are in your favour. If you are diagnosed with breast cancer and it’s been caught early. 90% of women continue to live a cancer-free life after treatment. So the odds are even more in your favour.

Obviously I don’t know your details - no one does yet - but you must wait for a cancer diagnosis. Don’t guess, don’t imagine. Assume it’s not, as often as you assume it is! The waiting is very hard and you are already familiar with anxiety (which, incidentally, helped me because I was so used to fear, not even cancer reached that level!) so do you have strategies to use in anxious times? Does your GP support you eg medication? I relied on a video by Progressive Hypnosis on YouTube called Cure Anxiety. Obviously it’s not a cure but my anxiety reduced and it was amazing at helping me sleep. I now use it every morning after I’ve taken my oral chemo.

You seem to have plenty of support, which is excellent. I hope tomorrow goes ok and that you get your results quickly. I got mine a week later but then there were more tests and more waits - but seriously, it’s all manageable once you have your anxiety under control. All the best

Jan x

[emstein77]

Hi all, 

I'm new to the forum but feeling the need for some support.  I'm 43 I had my yearly screening mammogram on Monday of this week and an architectural distortion was spotted.  I went for my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound yesterday and was told that a mass was found under the distortion that was concerning.  I was sent for a biopsy, scheduled for tomorrow, and get my results next Wednesday. 

I have been diagnosed with anxiety, specifically health anxiety, and have a real fear of breast cancer due to some weird breast changes during and right after my first and only twin pregnancy 6 years ago.  So basically, I am facing my worst nightmare right now and I'm so so scared. 

I have reached out to family and friends who can help, my husband is very supportive, and I am selectively looking at resources on the internet (like forums) but nothing seems to be helping with my anxiety right now. I can't stop crying and shaking, and I'm unable to eat and sleep.  I feel awful.  

I have 6 year old twins who need me, so I am trying so hard to compartmentalize all this and stay positive.  But I'm not doing a good job.  I look at them and can't help but go to dark places.  I have called my primary care to request some anxiety meds to get through till Wednesday and I'm waiting for a call back. 

I'm just looking for some support for those who are going through this or have gone through this.  Biopsy is tomorrow and I'm not even feeling too nervous about this.  It's just the wait and the what-if's that causes a deep pit in my stomach. 

Thanks for reading.

Emily