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How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

11 REPLIES 11
Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Thanks so much. Lots of love and best wishes to all. Xx

Shi Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

👍👍👍wind news, thanks for posting ❤️👍👍👍keep being vigilant and have a fabulous Christmas and New Year 💕💕✨✨Shi xx

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Fantastic news !

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Hi, finally after three months and numerous scans, biopsies, mammograms etc I've been given the all clear.

Path results all come back benign so I've been discharged. I still have no idea what caused the tethering but I guess just have to be glad it's not cancer. Telling myself to not worry as they've been thorough but it's still little worrying as I have had all these weeks of uncertainty and still no explanation as to what it is.

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

So sorry you’re going through this! Google has not been my friend either. Aside from the first symptom, I’m not sure if anything else is from my anxiety or real. Have to wait 2 weeks to even be seen... 

hoping you find out what’s going on soon! 

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Hope all goes well for you. You are having a bit of a roller coaster ride.

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

So I get a phone call telling me they're phoning to book my vacuum assisted biopsy.....not had results from mri so was a bit taken a back.

Seems the biopsy team were much faster at booking me in than expected and called before the nurse had had chance to call me to explain the mri had shown something and the consultant now wants a vacuum assisted biopsy.

I was too stunned to ask sensible questions so not really sure what's going on.

Booked in for Friday then will have another week or so to wait for results.

This all started mid August and it feels like as fast as I get good news it's followed by more tests and uncertainty.

Feeling generally unwell this last week or so. Tired, dizzy spells and nausea as well as pain between my shoulder blades and neck.

Trying to tell myself it's just the anxiety of it all but hard not to over think and panic.

Hard to believe all these weeks on I've still not got either a diagnosis or the all clear.

Has anyone else had tests dragged out over so many weeks?

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Much to my relief and amazement (having totally convinced myself it would be bad news) the biopsy results were benign. As I'm sat there taking in what the consultant is saying and breathing a huge sigh of relief he then adds that he wants to send me for an MRI. I ask have I misunderstood him or was he expecting it to be cancer to which he says 'to be frank...yes....but the good news is we haven't found any.'

I'm taking that as good news and holding onto it.....well mostly....some days I still panic and over think everything.

I think the MRI is him being ultra thorough.

Had the MRI today. Wasn't as bad as I expected. Bit strange being face down with my boobs dangling freely in two tubes but it was all over in about fifteen minutes. Wasn't expecting the canular to inject dye which did make me feel a bit strange for a few minutes but soon passed.

So now I wait some more and keep everything crossed.

It's been a long six weeks up until this point. I still just want to know either way as the limbo of not knowing is triggering waves of anxiety.

Certainly puts life into sharp focus and whatever the outcome is a reminder to make the most of everyday and be grateful for the love and friendship of others. 

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

There's  a lovely pie chart I've seen about things you worry and are anxious about- huge slice, things that actually happen tiny slice. Having said that it would be far more concerning if you weren't  worried. I have found various mp3s have been a boon , you tube also. As for being tetchy with family just apologise and don't feel guilty. They will cope. Waiting is the worst part. Once you have a plan of action things feel better. 

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Thanks so much for your kind reply. I will look up your suggestions. 

I've now had a core biopsy and will have the results next week.

Feeling more settled today though I guess as results day draws closer anxiety will return. Trying to distract myself and keep busy until I know for sure what's going on. 

Member

Re: How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

Hi Poppy

 

I want to give you a big hug - it sounds like Dr Google has grabbed another victim. It’s too late to say don’t google because you’ll probably scare yourself. Just remember not all the sources you looked at may be reliable and you, as a lay person, may not interpret even the most reliable information in the right way. Every case is different and stats don’t necessarily mean anything in the wrong hands.

 

It sounds to me like your consultant is taking every precaution to be absolutely sure of your diagnosis - better than jumping to conclusions. That doesn’t mean you have bc as there are many other reasons for breast changes but maybe you do have it. You’ll see from all of us here that, horrid though it is, it’s manageable (I couldn’t have said that a year ago).

 

You have some tests tomorrow. I suggest you take some questions with you (but be sure you want the answers. I chose deliberate ignorance all the way through and still couldn’t tell you the details of my particular cancer. It was the only way I could cope). You may not get all the answers - they may not have the authority, the tests may require detailed analysis - but you may get some reassurance about what they are looking for. 

 

As for the anxiety, I am a master of this. Probably the most useful thing for me was something I turned to in desperation: YouTube! There are hypnotherapy recordings, binaural beats, all sorts to help you relax and I thought nothing could help me but they do. My favourite is a woman (Progressive Hypnosis) who can soothe me to sleep almost every time. It’s way better than turning to the bottle or the pills. There’s also no shame in consulting your GP.

 

Good luck and I hope you get a clear diagnosis.

Jan

Member

How do you control the fear and anxiety of waiting

I found an indentation three weeks ago and saw a consultant last Monday. He's very experienced which felt good at first but I then felt he was trying to prepare me for bad news in the words he used. I had a mammogram then was asked to go back so they could repeat it. I also had an ultrasound. Neither he nor I could feel a lump and nothing showed on the ultrasound. He described the mammograms as inconclusive. Not sure what to make of that. I'm having a tomosynthesis this week and have been told they might do a biopsy and maybe an mri. At first I thought if nothing big had shown up the worst case would be it's early and small but having read more I now realise that may not be the case at all.

My original optimism and sense of relative calm has been replaced by the worst anxiety I've ever known. I feel totally consumed by worry and have hardly slept in days. I'm finding myself irrational and irritable with my partner and children who are doing their best to be positive and optimistic. I've just got this gut wrenching feeling it's going to be bad news.

I am trying to keep busy but failing miserably to keep the fear at bay for long.

Not knowing feels harder than knowing because at least I would know what it was....I realise I may be totally wrong about this and a diagnosis might actually feel so much worse.

Has anyone any advice on how to get through the waiting and how to not be impossible to be around for those we love who are going through this with us?