Hi, a few weeks ago I noticed pain on my lower left breast I felt around and found 2 lumps on my breast. I have been referred to get an ultrasound which I don’t even have the appt to yet. I’ve already thought about every possible scenario in my mind. I have a 5 yr old and I’ve been through so much these last 3 yrs health wise, I cant deal with more. I lost my 32 yr old aunt to cancer. Im so scared about the story repeating again. I can’t leave my child. I am a Complete mess.
I am in a similar position - I found a lump last Tuesday and am booked in to breast clinic next Thursday. The waiting is awful (I’m 41)
can I suggest that you try to avoid Google and try the relax+ app - a friend recommended it to me as I’ve been struggling to sleep - my mind just won’t switch off.
I’m terrified because I lost both my mum and my grandmother (maternal) to metastatic breast cancer 
but I’m also trying to remember that a lot of people do survive the worst. Take care & wishing you well x
I ‘feel’ the terror in your words. The emotional pain is overwhelming, I understand that, but ‘history repeating’ is just a thought/fear and not a sign of what reality would be, even IF you were to get a diagnosis. TV1980 is quite right, things have changed in treatments of BC, year on year advances in modern medicine improve cancer treatments and the majority of women will have very effective treatments. Of course, for both of you, these could be totally benign breast tissues changes, but of course that won’t remove the worry and stop your mind from ‘going places’ at all ends of the spectrum. So, with that in mind, that this is psychologically incredibly tough - there is a world of support out there (for both of you), not just this forum - please do consider using the helpline above, the fantastic people on there will understand and you don’t need to be diagnosed to use the service. x