Hi Lisa
First of all, I’m so sorry you find yourself here but you definitely have found the right place if you want information and support.
When we discover a breast lump, particularly when the GP has made a referral to the breast clinic, our thoughts invariably get stuck on cancer. It might help you to know that the vast majority of lumps referred to specialists turn out to be benign. However, referral is essential because the risk of ignoring things is too great. My first lump, in my 30s, was a fibroadenoma (a lump of gristly tissue), my second, in my 40s, were cysts that disappeared of their own accord. My third referral, in my 60s, I had no lump and a clear mammogram but I got referred just in case and thank god for that referral! As Shi, one of the Community Champions, says, you don’t have cancer until an oncologist tells you you have cancer.
The timing is bad for you but there’s nothing to be done about that so my advice would be to do everything you can to focus on your emotional wellbeing. Don’t go anywhere near Dr Google. A search engine cannot take into consideration your unique circumstances, nor does it care about your anxiety levels. If you have a question, ask the nurses here or use the helpline (sadly, that too is closed over Christmas, but you may find Macmillan are running a support service) or ask the advice of thousands of women who’ve been there (though we cant diagnose and certainly can’t give medical advice).
Everyone needs something different when it comes to relaxation and sleep. Meditation, mindfulness, running, baking - whatever works for you. I found I got most benefit from plugging into YouTube videos such as those by Michael Sealey. Most successful was/is Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing. II saw me through all my treatment and I still tune in when I need a mental break.
You may be wise in your choice to not tell your friends - reactions are very varied - but you may have one or two trusted friends whose emotional support might be invaluable. I found my husband shares my anxieties and he fears much more than I do so friends kept me more grounded. The important thing is not to feel you’re on your own with this - your comment about not wanting people to worry unnecessarily is a giveaway! How would you feel if your closest friend didn’t turn to you in a health scare because they didn’t want to worry you?
I know the 11th feels a long way away (I’m waiting for dates for two unexpected tests) - three weeks can feel a lifetime so you need to be proactive about your mental health to help you keep things in perspective. Remember, most lumps are benign and there’s no point thinking beyond that till you have to. It won’t be easy but I wish you all the best - maybe we’ll be tuning into YouTube at the same time lol.
Jan x