Hi everyone. I’m new to the forum and having trouble sleeping because of worrying bout my biopsy results which I will get a week today. I guess it really all started last year when I went to my GP because I noticed swelling under my left armpit. The doctor did an examination and said she couldn’t feel any lumps but would send me for a mammogram anyway. I waited quite a while for appointment and 3 months later had a mammogram and ultrasound scan under my arm. The doctors there told me that nothing untoward was showing and that I probably had extensive breast tissue that some women can get, and to wear sports bras. I was very relieved and just ignored it after that even though it was still there. I turned 50 last year and 5wks ago received a letter to have a mammogram because of my age. After having the mammogram I had a letter asking me to return for more tests. I had more tests done last wk which included 2 core biopsys. The staff there were lovely but told me that there were 2 changes showing in the mammogram in my left breast. One was 9mm and the other was 7mm and that I would need core biopsys on both to find out what it was with a clip inserted into 9mm sight so that if they need to go back in they know the exact spot . I guess I was worrying because none of the nurses or doctors were saying it could be a cyst or maybe nothing to worry about. I can’t help thinking now that the swelling under my left arm is my lymph node and that it’s swollen because I have breast cancer as has been for a while but they just didn’t pick it up last year. My partner is coming with me next week to get my results and on the same day we are travelling to Cornwall for a 3 day holiday. If it is bad news I’m worried that I’m going to spend the whole time crying but I’m also thinking maybe it might help me and my partner come to terms with the news if it’s bad. I’m a full time carer for my eldery mother who lives with us and has alot of health issues. We had arranged some respite for my mum while we go on a short break next wk for my birthday. I have been finding it more and more difficult coping with caring for my mum over the last few months and had been thinking of finding a permanent suitable nursing home for her but couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I’m wondering now if I may have no choice at all if I’m told I have cancer. I’m sorry it’s like I’m writing an essay here. I guess it helps just writing it all down and knowing other women are in a similar situation waiting for results. I’ve only told very close family until I know more. It’s awful waiting though.
Hi Daisychain, I really feel for you and know that waiting for results from the biopsy is really stressful. When I was waiting the 2 weeks, because I hadn’t been diagnosed, there was no nurse assigned to me and it felt like there was no support. All they said was that they thought it ‘probably’ was bc, but they had to test it to be certain, and I should go away and ‘try not to worry’!!! I felt utterly stunned, plus a bit physically uncomfortable after the biopsy procedure. I went up and down from thinking it was all nonsense because I felt so well to being convinced it was going to be the worst stage ever. What I didn’t realise then and wish I’d known now, is that charities like Breast Cancer Care/Now and Macmillan are there for everyone, not just those who’ve been diagnosed, but anyone who’s worried or cares about someone. If you ring, you’re put through to people who often have personal experience and who are on top of all the medical stuff and have the time to explain it to newbies like us. Even if you don’t know what to say or ask, they can help guide you through your feelings and help you pin down what’s worrying you. Also, you can see your Dr and they can talk things through and check out any symptoms too and advise about stress - mine also gave me the flu jab (never had it before, it was fine). About lymph nodes, I think everyone worries about this from the outset so that’s only natural. The assessment nurses also ultrasounded mine and said that, although it wasn’t failproof, it would indicate if any nodes were significantly affected. Another thing I learnt is that cancers are all different. I lost a loved one to another type of cancer so I was really worried about lymph nodes but with bc, even if lymph nodes are affected it can still be an early, treatable cancer. I also understand about being a carer because you have to sometimes force yourself to care for yourself too and that can make you feel guilty, but we’re only human and we all can only do what’s humanly possible. As for sleeping, I find keeping my hours really regular and doing something physically active each day helps. Mindfulness is also very effective, plus reading a really boring book and staying away from bright screens. It sounds like you feel pressured by lots of decisions and lots of unknowns, but there’s no pressure to make plans until you know more facts. I really hope you get some good news but if it’s not good you will be given lots of support and advice and assigned a personal nurse you can see or ring whenever you need. Either way, a three day break should be manageable and it’s not like it’s abroad so you could always shorten it if you felt like it. The thing about health, especially when you’re a carer, is you either tend to ignore it or take it for granted, and having to go through this waiting period is a shock to the system and makes you feel out of control. I found it helped me feel in more control by joining the gym and doing other physical activities I enjoy because it was something I did have control over and it helps your body cope with treatment and helps lower the risk of many cancers too. In the meantime, do whatever nourishes and lifts you up, avoid or reduce things that deplete you, notice if there’s a pattern in the day when you feel at your lowest and try to be extra kind to yourself then, and know that you’re never alone in this. What a ramble, but hope it helps a bit! All the best.