67.7K members
1.2M posts
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Worried and feeling self induced loneliness


Re: Worried and feeling self induced loneliness

Hi! I am with you. My Gp told me that it feels like a syst but 2weeks clinic.  My husband went through the C in his 20th so I  told him straight away. He tells me just to wait.

Im 45and 11and 6 years old children. 

I m on my red wine because cannot take it in .

Thanks God! I'm working and it helps.

I can feel the lump and it looks like a little one next to it. They are or it a bit painful especially when I feel them.

My hospital's appointment on the 24of June.    Grrrr


Re: Worried and feeling self induced loneliness

Hi , hope that whatever your outcome was, you are managing ok. I'm new here but in same position you were, so your post struck a cord. Hugs


Re: Worried and feeling self induced loneliness

Hi Dawson55


Welcome to this wonderful forum.


Your story is so similar to my situation last summer. Lump found, I thought it was a bruise so left it for  a while, a month or so. Then when it didn’t go thought I really must get this checked out. Two weeks for GP appointment. I did think about not bothering to tell my partner, as I was sure it wasn’t anything to worry about was it! But we have also tried to open and honest with each other. I can be a bit of a bottler and retreat into myself and I know this hurts him if I shut him out ( as he sees it) my perspective is that I am being private! 


So I casually mentioned my appointment to him saying that I had a area of concern that I wanted the GP to check out. He just said ok  then, good idea and we moved on.


Of course the GP referred me to the breast clinic, the GPs view was that any breast change needed looking at by the clinic, but most are false alarms. So please hold on to that at the moment. I was then able to tell my partner that I had been referred but not to worry. 


I attended the clinic on my own as I didnt think it was anything or I wouldn’t get any results on the day anyway. The appointment at the clinic was very detailed, mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy. Then I was told there and then that they thought it was cancer!  So of course I rang him as soon as I could with the news. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t known I was even going to the appointment.


A week later we are back to see the surgeon together and my treatment plan is in place. 


He has been great throughout my treatment and has coped really well with my meltdowns but I hate to think how he would have felt if I hadn’t told him about my appointments.


Best wishes to you, this journey is hard enough as it is without everything else we have to worry about. I hope all goes well at your clinic appointment, we will all be routing for you.




Re: Worried and feeling self induced loneliness

Hi Ann, 


He’s just generally a “worrier” and it’s almost as though I can’t deal with him being like that when I’ve got enough to worry about. Also he has a very close family whereas I am a very private person and I know his anxiety would mean he would discuss it with them, even if I ask him not to. So I feel I can’t put that pressure on him, without allowing an outlet of his own. 

But you’re right, it is just investigation and I guess it’s easy to jump from one thing to another and start imagining the worst. Must try to stay positive! 

Thank you. 


Community Champion

Re: Worried and feeling self induced loneliness

Hi Dawson,

I’m sure your GP thought they were being reassuring, but you are also right to expect the response you describe. 

Telling others is always a bit of a dilemma & we all vary in how we handle it. 

Referral to the breast clinic is quite common & you may find that others have been through it too. It’s not necessarily putting extra anxiety on others, as it’s just getting it properly checked out at this stage.

Mostly, it turns out not to be bc, but only the breast clinic can get to the bottom of it. 

Is your partner going to suspect you’re anxious anyway & wonder what’s going on? 

Sometimes in our desire to protect others maybe we can overthink this somewhat. 

If you want to, let us know how you get on. 

ann x




Worried and feeling self induced loneliness

I’ve been (for want of a better word) nursing a breast lump for the last 4 weeks. I’ve given it a full menstrual cycle and still it’s there so I’ve been to the GP and got a 2ww referral. 


I was coping ok and being optimistic until the GP started talking about BC being one of “the best” cancers to have and there’s lots they can do these days - mastectomy, chemotherapy etc. Working in a GP practice myself I was expecting a referral but maybe more of a “ I don’t think it’s anything to worry about but we will refer you anyway “ kind. 


The part I am really struggling with is feeling scared and alone. I don’t want to tell my partner yet as he will fret and make it huge before it needs to be; Its just not an option until I know the facts. I don’t have any close female relatives that I can trust enough to keep it to themselves and I don’t want to put on my friends.


I just feel like I want to tell someone but without the sympathy and the feeling that I’ve put on them emotionally. I literally have no one that could / would just say they’re there if I need anything and not try and take it on as a crusade (if that makes sense?!?). 


Is anyone else struggling in this way? Or am I just being emotionally incompetent 😂