A week ago I went to the breast clinic to check a hardness in my breast, I thought it would be put down to breastfeeding my 8 month old, but they actually did an ultrasound, mammogram and fine needle aspiration which came back clear. I was told to keep an eye on it and to come back in 3 months time.
Since then I have been having huge anxiety, I am struggling to function and it is incredibly hard as I am also taking care of my baby.
I started having pain in my armpit and I felt it in the shower to see if I have any lumps. I don’t think there is any, but of course the area isn’t smooth so I got so scared I started feeling hot and sick. I feel like I am suffocating and there is noone to ask for help, my partner is going through a lot of stuff right now as well.
I am going to the GP again tomorrow to check my armpit, but am I overreacting? I try to tell myself if they haven’t found anything after all those tests I am fine for now, but there is this anxiety that doesn’t let me stay calm. All I am thinking is what if I get sick and my son is left alone? We have no close family nearby…
What a huge burden you’re carrying. Breast cancer can terrify people because of how things were in the past but the fact is, there’s a 90% chance of full recovery and no recurrence when a tumour is found early. Why do we fear it so much?? Pain, btw, isn’t a common symptom with breast cancer. You’re wise though to get your GP just to check for you but you need to learn the map of your breasts, which bits are lumps, which lumps are ribs. Maybe you could ask your GP to show you how to examine your breasts so you can do it knowing you don’t have bc and knowing what is a change, should it ever happen.
You have had all the requisite tests and obviously the breast care team do not consider you as at risk of breast cancer. Keeping an eye on it doesn’t mean they have doubts, more that you should stay alert to any changes. You do not have breast cancer. That is wonderful news.
It seems to me you are suffering from post-breast clinic stress, a kind of PTSD I suppose. You have all the joys of a baby (I know it’s hard work) but you lack immediate emotional support if your partner is tied up in his own stresses so the joys have turned into morbid worries. Is there a trusted friend, one who wouldn’t over-react, you could talk to? I also strongly recommend ringing one of the nurses at the number above. They are very well-informed, great listeners and able to give you sound advice.
You’re unlikely to get any me-time with a young baby but you need to find some, if only for an hour a day when you can plug into an app like Calm or Headspace and learn how to reduce your stress levels. YouTube is a brilliant resource. I wouldn’t have got through my treatment without Progressive Hypnosis videos to relax to.
This is something only you can resolve. You have to shift your thinking from anxiety mode to practical mode and hold on to that FACT that you don’t have breast cancer. I wish you all the best and some peace of mind