I sadly lost my big sister to metastatic breast cancer in Jan 2019.
Since my sister was diagnosed I have made it my mission to check myself every month, well over the last 2 weeks I have noticed that I have a swollen armpit and on palpation a lump, as a nurse myself I knew I needed to get this looked at, but I can now feel the anxiety building.
I hoped the Gp would say I cant feel a thing, but unfortunately she said I can see it is swollen and I can feel the lump, she didn’t think it was a lymph node or a cyst and doesn’t think isn’t typically Cancer like. However, it is there and although not rock hard, its definitely not soft. Obviously with my family hx and no other explanation for the lump, I have been referred to Breast Clinic at my local hospital. I don’t know weather to feel reassured or terrified, I know where I am going, I know what will happen and I even know the surgeons and the specialist nurses, as they looked after my sister. I feel desperately anxious, I’v told a friend and obviously my husband knows, but I cant face putting my extended family through this stress again. As well as dealing with losing my sister, my brother had testicular cancer that returned following surgery, thankfully now well, then my father was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, I just feel I have no choice but to internalise this.
I thought I would cry, but actually feel quite numb, I know the stats that 9:10 people who attend clinic do not have cancer, but I cant get it out of my head that my sister was given a 98% cure rate, but became that 2%.
I’m terrified to be told I have to attend this appointment on my own, I’m not sure I can do that
Hi meme79 - I am so sorry to read the very sad news about your sister, and your worries about your own lump, and I’m going to start by sending you some gentle virtual hugs.
I totally understand your reasons for keeping this news to yourself at the moment, so I hope that we on this forum can help support you while you wait for your tests and results. This is a very safe place to say whatever you want, cry, offload, people will be here to listen without judgment.
It is really horrible that Covid has put a stop to us taking anyone along to our appointments. I had my annual mammogram last week. I was terrified as last year they had to biopsy another lump and I was scared about what they would find this year and I wasn’t allowed to take anyone with me. However, the waiting for the appointment was worse than the reality. When I arrived the nurses looked after me, though there was some waiting of course. Maybe you could ask someone to sit outside in the car park and wait for you - and should the worst happen maybe you will be allowed to call them and have them come in (depends on the hospital rules of course), or you can go out to see them for support.
You are a nurse and already know the statistics, and of course you won’t be able to believe them when your sister fell into the 2%. But that doesn’t mean you will also fall into the 1:10. Try to remember that “fears are not facts” and as one of the other lovely CC on here, Shi, says “you don’t have BC until someone diagnoses it”.
Do you have a date for your appointment? You are a nurse, and clearly a lovely and thoughtful one from reading your post, so I’m going to ask you how you would reassure a patient who came to you with your story? We can often be harder on ourselves than we would be to a friend/patient.
I hope we can help you find the strength to go to your appointment to get checked out. My very best wishes, Evie xx
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. As well as your brother and dad going through cancer, that must be extremely difficult.
I can say I went to my GP last year with very similar symptoms, my armpit was very swollen and I could feel a tiny hard lump. When my GP examined me she found the lump I did and also found a bigger one, she also said they didn’t feel cancer like but sent me off to the breast clinic anyway.
When the Dr at the clinic examined me she also found everything the dr did and could tell it was swollen, I went for an ultrasound after seeing the Dr and they lady who did that said it looked like something was going on with the lymphnodes under my arm which actually really scared me, I’m not sure why. The Dr then called me back in and explained that I have a hole in the muscle in my armpit and breast tissue had started to grow up in my armpit hence why it looks swollen and is lumpy. She told me it is nothing to worry about but when checking my breats to make sure I pay close attention to my armpit as well. It still looks the same to this day and the lumps are still there but nothing to worry about.
x