I questioned everything when my mum had cancer. Then just as she was given the all clear I found a lump and was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. The things I had going through my mind gave me many sleepless nights. I had 6 months of chemotherapy, mastectomy and reconstruction and am coming to the end of radiotherapy. I still get nights when I am petrified for my teenage daughter so I talk to my mum, people on the forums, to a nurse, or even my gp. Sometimes just saying those things to someone else actually help. Please don't suffer alone with your fears and feelings, there are people who know how you feel and are happy to talk to you about it. Hope your mum does well with her treatment too
I’d suggest you ring the number at the top and speak to one of the nurses as a starting point. They are well-informed but, above all, so reassuring. I also wonder if the Someone Like Me service here extends to carers?
Macmillan may be a good option for you. My husband has really benefitted from 6 counselling sessions as a carer but these face to face services have now been suspended by my NHS Trust and I imagine this will be a decision shared by all trusts within days. You could find out what services your mother’s hospital runs - do they have links to a Haven or a Maggie’s? You may well find that you can only talk on the phone or by FaceTime but that’s better than nothing.
The important thing is to talk about your feelings. They aren’t stupid at all. We’re conditioned to equate breast cancer with death and it spreading to the lymph nodes sounds so alarming. I had 19 out of the 21 nodes removed all infected but my CT scan showed no spread: the nodes had done their job. I had chemo and radiotherapy and then hormone therapy and I had an MRI scan in January this year. Again, no sign of bc. Thank heavens for lymph nodes! I’m still here, relatively healthy and definitely cancer-free. So please don’t assume your mother’s life is balanced against the wonder gift of your child.
Please find someone who understands the world of cancer to talk to. I’m sure you’ll find it very helpful. Take good care of yourself as well as your child and your mother. It may be a tough balancing act, with some sacrifices to be made until we’re sure the crisis period has passed.
Best wishes xx
So I feel like I’m going a bit mad, basically we found out my mum has breast cancer just before Christmas and she has had the mastectomy but they found that it has gone into the lymph nodes. She is now going through chemo.
I also have a 1 year old who I love unconditionally.
However since finding out about my mum, I feel as though someone has given me this life and is going to take one from me. It sounds so stupid I know but I cannot get the thought from my head.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?
Or know anyone who I can talk to about this?