Felt I had to join this site just to message you 🙂
I was diagnosed with IBC back in Feb this year and know just how scary it can all be. Having this type means also that treatment is approached slightly differently and even some medics won't have come across it before. I have 3 daughters and two of them are 24 and 22 and I know it was and still is really hard for them as they want to support me but they are also at an age where they are ready to really step out completely on their own path in life..... I will send this link to one of them and I'm sure she will share how things have been for her over the past 6 months.... I am crossing all my fingers and toes that the aches and pains are just that - I felt exactly the same and prepared for the worst but was happily proved wrong!
Treatment is no picnic but focusing on each stage and still trying to get the most out of each day has been the approach that has got me through to this far....I did 6 cycles of FECT which meant the cancer became operable...and I had a mastectomy and lymph removal only 11 days ago..... 🙂 radiotheraphy and hormone therapy next on the list!!
Don't think you need to be "strong" as your mum will be as worried about you as she is about herself if not more so - talk to her, listen but also tell her how you feel. Find someone else you can talk to as well so if you want to cry when you feel she can't deal with it you can. She will go through highs and lows as will you...I've read a lot about being positive and I actually couldn't quite see things in that way as IBC is a long and hard journey to fight. I prefer to think of it as constructive coping - not sure this works for everyone but I wanted to face it all - deal with the negatives so they could be parked and then deal with the treatment and LIVE....and living means each day that I am given...no matter how many they are...? Means as a family we have done lots together, might be restricted due to my treatment but we're still making those all important memories together....
I'll happily discuss anything with you both that might assist..... 🙂
Good luck to you both - huge hugs xxx
Bless you x
It is such a scary time and the shock is awful! I think we all react the same way initially so it's natural. Things will calm down for you and your mum once she starts on the treatment. I feel for you because my daughter is 17 and has gone through the same as you.. watching on, trying to be brave. I don't want her being upset privately I want her to share her fears so we do talk about how we are both feeling. Make sure you do the same else you will be ill yourself. You can do no more than be there but make time for yourself, carry on doing fun things yourself. Try to live in the moment, one day at a time. Nothing is guaranteed whether it's cancer or a car crash we don't know what tomorrow brings.
It's amazing what they can do these days so don't think the worst unless the worst happens.
sending love x