Hello, I understand what you are thinking. I lost both my Mum and Dad to Dementia last year within 6 weeks of each other. Both were in seperate Care Homes and were looked after extremely well. Then 2 weeks later discovred I have Breast Cancer, one of my reliefs was that I didn't have to try and explain to my Mum what was happeing.
In hindsight I do not think she would have been aware even if I had turned up with my bald head! I found that with dementia they are so engrossed in thier own world they dont really SEE anything else. My Mum never did get to the the state where she didn't know me at all.
I understand your need for your Mum, I feel lucky that I have a fantastic husband and family to help me through. One of my daughters lives in Singapore so skype is the only contact there, although not ideal is better than nothing and pobabaly see her more than I would if she lived 50 miles away. ( not quite the same as a cuddle and hug). I have found that you do find your true friends, and people have suprised me with thier support.
Speak to the Carers who know your Mum best and see what they think. I hope all goes well for you, I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your Mum. Elaine
It might help to talk this over with one of our Helpliners. They are not open tomorrow (BH Monday) but normal opening hours are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000
Very best wishes