Anyone due to start chemo April 14??

[Lovewine]

Hi tulamo, lovely to hear from you, I found tax not as bad as Fec too, still not great, centre parcs sounds something nice to look forward to after chemo, at least your little boy is under your control at the age he is! When they are adults and you just watch the mistakes and see the hurt you feel powerless to help, it really seems not long ago when my sons only got upset when the carriages- " Annie and clarabel" came unhooked from Thomas the tank engine!! Happy days!!
I am quite tired from work now, but not in a debilating way like the tiredness of chemo.
Rosie, good that you slept a little, I know the feeling of fighting the dog for best sofa, I usually find myself sandwiched between 2 collies and if I am really lucky the cat curls up on my tummy- I would never need a hot water bottle in winter!
Wildpurl, hope your working day went well and you are not too tired, regarding knitting, I havnt done so much in the last week as seem to have always had something to do!

[tulamo]

Hello ladies

Havent been posting as sooooo tired since chemo last week. The steroids hit me hard this time found myself cleaning thr oven at 1.30 am! Barely slept for 5 nights then when finally did feltmeven worse  just can't win sometimes. 

Chemo went much better than usual it was actually well organised and I was on my way home in less than 4 hours usually there at least seven.

Still finding tax better than fec re side effects and not as low emotionally thus far. My mouth is awful though tongue feels scalded and usual horrible taste.

On happy note booked holiday for November at center parcs in Cumbria and can't wait we've not had a break since June last year.

Just collected our new hardwood driveway gates we've had on order for weeks, eyewatering price but a no brainer for our little boy's safety. 

Rosie hope you had a lovely bitthday weekend we went to Kyrenia four years ago it is a lovely spot. Sorry your expanders are still so uncomfortable we are just expected to get on with the problems I havent been comfortable since surgery in April am hoping once chemo out of system body can get on with repairing damage from surgery.  You had so much treatment so quickly your body's probably still trying to catch up !!

Wildpurl not long til your holiday hope its even better than you anticipate.

Lovewine great news re surgery results, hope things improve for your son I was married for a very short time to someone with depression he had other issues too  they couldnt sort with drugs (like being a complete a**e) it was a long time ago but al my family were beside themselves not knowing if or how to help. When I needed them they were there for me which I eally appreciated . Affairs of the heart are so complicated I am grateful my sons issues are simpler, like not wanting spaghetti for tea.

Jos hope your last week with your sister is good I really feel for you. 

Rolicarpit you sorted out your admin people they are the most powerful people in my organisation and call all the shots hope work goes ok I never want to go back at all but will have no choice.

Joan hope you are ok and feeling better now you've had time to digest results

Have to go now son wants to watch tractors on my computer !!

[rosie14]

Hope you had a good day at work,Lovewine. I slept for 3 hours on and off on the sofa this morning and found a can of soup for lunch left over form chemo days! Fancy being called for your first mammogram they may want you to go anyway for the unaffected side!
Great dog has taken over my favourite sofa and is in a deep sleep her paws are twitching!

[Lovewine]

Oh Rosie how awful, maybe you have caught a bug from the children? Hope there are not going to be side effects from letrozole. Hope you don't feel too bad for rest of the day.
Wildpurl, I also have the same problem mascaring! Am just blobbing it on and not sure what's there! Am very envious of the hair even if it is fluffy, mine is growing very slowly.
Joan, my eyebrows have also totally vanished and now very hard to draw an acceptable line! My nails are awful but not lost any yet though., glad the family meal went well, but yes agree it is very tiring!
Ironically yesterday after returning from appt with breast surgeon there waiting for me was a routine call up for my first mammogram for Friday 3rd October!, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! Will ring up and explain it's a bit too late as have had cancer all year and having treatment!! Not sure why I wasn't called for screening at age 50 and with sons wedding etc didn't give it a thought why I hadn't.
Anyway, working for 5 hours today so better get on with it! Have a good day everyone and Rosie hope you feel better soon and also not so fed up although I think you are justified in feeling really pi...d off with this expander business now, it's been going on too long.😒

[rosie14]

Wildpurl how lovely scotch eggs for packed lunches and Woking 5 days very impressive! Even time for the dentist and hairdresser! I do admire your stamina!
Joan I am so sorry that you have had nails drop off. 2 or 3 of mine have lifted slightly. Glad your family day went well I am not surprised you were very tired. Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow what ever it is for.
Last night I began to nauseous. Have woken up,with it this morning and my legs are aching more than usual. I am hoping it is not side effect to Letrozole have been taking it for 11 days now along with calcium tablets. I tried to,get the cancer nurse to visit me but she is on holiday tomorrow. Had a melt down about tissue expanders this am. It's been 9 weeks now and I should be able to get on with my life without the discomfort! Had to go into school this am to monitor some staff and children. Supposed to feed back after 2pm. I am just about to take my temperature as I feel quite unwell, headache legs back!!
Hope you all manage a better day than me definitely on he grumpy step!

[Wildpurl]

Good morning Joan, it sounds as though the family day was an enjoyable event. I'm not surprised you were tired afterwards though. I find being with lots of people, even if enjoyable, can take a lot of energy. Sorry to hear about your nails, I hope they grow back soon and stop being so sore.

While I'm pleased my hair is growing and has thickened well, it is a shapeless fluffy mess so I am really hoping a trim will restore some shape and remove fluffiness. Eyebrows and eyelashes are difficult to judge because mine are growing back very fair and I can hardly see them. I think the eyebrows are growing slowly, they are still in place albeit thin. Eyelashes get mascaraed every work morning and to start with I wasn't sure if the brush was connecting with anything in some places. Now there is definitely something there, they are pretty short, but one or two new full length ones are appearing...

I'm on holiday for a week starting Saturday, we are going with my son and his GF. It seems like a long time but we have far more things we would like to do than we can fit in. I am hoping for plenty of walking, a few castles, a day at the coast and just enjoying the peace and quiet of being in the middle of nowhere. I'll be taking my kindle and the blanket I am crocheting as well.

Hope everyone has good days

[joan47]

Lovewine, that's great news. What a relief. How is the seroma?

Rosie, glad you had a good weekend. I think I'll be on this thread for a while longer too.

Wildpurl, a second hair trim, how amazing. My husband thinks I am getting more hair but if so it's not very dramatic. And my right eyebrow has given up the ghost. Until now I have been able to pretend I still have brows by filling in with pencil but I can't even see where they would go now. How long are you going to Wales for? We had a couple of hols in north wales when our children were small and I remember going to some of the places you and others have mentioned, but not well enough to make any recommendations.

Rolicarpet, hope work went well today. Interesting about the effect of a tamoxifen on your headaches. I wonder if this has been reported by other people.

The family day went well. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food and the walnut meringue was a success despite the mishap making it. But I felt absolutely knackered afterwards even though I stayed behind when everyone else went for a walk and actually fell asleep. Appointment with breast care nurse tomorrow, though I can't honestly remember what it's for. Not heard anything about appt with radiologist yet. Wish they would hurry up. My nails continue to fall off so now wearing plasters on three fingers and both thumbs, which makes life interesting. Big toenail fell off yesterday but although it looks pretty awful it isn't as sore as the fingernails, which is some consolation.

[Wildpurl]

Thanks for suggestions of Portmeirion and Beddgelert to visit, Lovewine, I quite fancy seeing Portmeirion but will have to persuade OH!
Meant to ask how you are getting on with your knitting?

[Wildpurl]

Evening ladies! Well day 1 down, 4 more to go till my holiday. Excited? Me? I made scotch eggs this evening to take with us for packed lunches though.
Very busy day, tomorrow I am working from home in the morning as I have a hygienist appointment at lunchtime so hope I will be able to get some things done. On Wednesday I am having my hair trimmed again.

Lovewine, I am so pleased to hear you had clear margins and the surgeon was pleased with the results, what a relief! Celebration called for I think.

Rosie, I'm glad you had a lovely weekend but pity about those darn expanders, they do sound really uncomfortable.

Hope everyone else is OK, tulamo hope you are all right?

[Lovewine]

Thanks Rosie! Poor you.x

[rosie14]

Lovewine I am so pleased for you what a relief!! I am not that inflated but I feel like I have 2 tractor tyres I am finding it very tiresome!
I remember the story of the dog also,very sad!

[Lovewine]

Hi everyone, am pleased to say I had clear margins and surgeon was very happy with outcome! I am very relieved but hasn't sunk in yet! Radiotherapy soon, have agreed to go on a clinical trial for radiotherapy, it is to assess side effects and how to treat them in future, have had such wonderful care and support I felt like giving something back in a small way.
My tumour eventually turned out to be 20mml and oval shape and also had pre cancer cells in the centre of it, very aggressive which is why I had chemo before surgery.
Rosie, sounds like you had a lovely weekend, just what you and D/H needed, I too would have gone crazy without this forum! Hope you are not too inflated and uncomfortable.
Lisa, hope first day back went well with " new " hairstyle!
Wildpurl, hope you have a good week, bet you looking forward to wales! Thought of other really nice places to go- beddgelert village is lovely, don't know if you are familiar with the legend? It fascinated me and still makes me feel sad when I read the story- google it and see, anyway in the village there is the grave of the dog (gelert) and it's a very attractive mountain village too! Also " portmeiron" village is nice- home of the pottery and also the 1960s series " the prisoner" was filmed there- you probably know this anyway, but just in case!
Jackie, thanks for your best wishes, hope you are ok?

[rosie14]

Back home after a lovely relaxing weekend with a few drinks! If it wasn't for the dreaded tissue expanders it would have been perfect!
Wildpurl you certainly had a good time at Petworthand got in some training for those Welsh slopes! Hope you don't find the 5 working days too tiring.
Hi Lisa good to hear form you and glad that your headaches seemed to have vanished! Glad. You managed to sort out HR. The students will probably say,"cool hair Miss!" Still nice and warm here in the day and very pleasant evenings. Still good for sitting out in - no cardigan yet!
Eam so glad this journey is nearly over for you. You are young it will always be a bad chapter in your life but you are ready to start the next chapter now! Stay positive and concentrate on the things and people that matter the most to you.
Jos the very best of luck with your next chapter it can only get better!!! Do let us know how you are getting on!
Lovewine I am with you I will be reading and posting on this thread for a good whole longer without it I would have gone
completely crazy! Hope all went well for you today?
How lovely those of you that have picked blackberries. We don't have them here. My dad used to make the meanest blackberry and apple when I was a girl!
Hope you are all having a good Monday.

[Jackie09]

Good luck today Lovewine - will have fingers and toes crossed for clear margins. X x

[rosie14]

I am going to reply to posts when I get home tonight have lost too many this weekend due to dodgy signal!
Catch up later! Good news I hope Lovewine! X

[Wildpurl]

Rolicarpit, good luck with your return to work tomorrow, I hope you enjoy being back to "normal". You will probably find that you have less time to go online once you are working again anyway, I know that I do, but I still like to check in once a day and see how everyone is doing.

I'm going to Snowdonia for my holiday and really looking forward to it 🙂

[Lovewine]

Good luck Lisa tomorrow, hope all goes well! Normality beckons!
Jos, totally understand your need to move on, let us know how things are going now and then, it's so nice when everyone is feeling stronger, enjoy your last few days with your sister! And good luck in returning to work too.
Eam, I did in fact cheer up, went for a walk and then stopped in a country pub with a lovely view overlooking beautiful rolling countryside with hubby and dogs of course! Felt quite uplifted and glad to be outside in the fresh air, also picked loads of blackberries too!
Rosie, hope you had a lovely birthday weekend?
Tulamo, hope you are not too bad after chemo.
Wildpurl, hope you enjoyed a quiet day, also work won't be too tiring next week.
Joan, hope you enjoyed your day, especially the puddings!
Tij, hope your son is doing ok at his new school, Jackie too, hope you are healing well,
I think I will be posting and reading on this thread for a while yet!!

[jos]

Hello All

It sounds like you've all been having good weekends.  Nice to hear from you Rolicarpit and good luck with going back to work.

I think the time has come for me to have a little break from the board too.  My sister leaves this week and I will be back at work in a couple of weeks and I feel like I need to spend a bit less time online with cancer-related things as I get back to my routine and find my "new normal".  I still have rads to come of course but I do have a bit of a break first. 

All you amazing ladies have been so wonderfully supportive and it's been a pleasure getting to know you and sharing our journeys.  Wishing you all the best for the coming weeks.  I will pop in from time to time to say hi and see how you are all doing but for the moment I won't be around for a while.

Love and virtual hugs.

x

[EAM28]

Hi rollicarpit,good luck for tomorrow starting back at work!:). I have a meeting with mine 1st Oct.  The only side effect I have found with the tamoxifen is the hot flushes in the evening but got used to them & they where worse during chemo so can cope with that.  Also seem to have a dry cough but don't know if that's to do with the tablets or not!  Good that its cured your headache though! Xxx

[EAM28]

Sounds like you have had a nice time wildpurl & hope you managed to rest!

Hope you have perked up a bit love wine?  It does get a bit much doesn't it.  I call the hospital my 2nd home now!  In 28 years the only time I had been there was to have my little girl.  Now we're all part of the furniture!  I haven't found any side effects at all with the herceptin & the radio has been a breeze.  Just irritated the healing process a little.  Its all the traveling & childcare that's the worst part of it for me.

Garden looking lovely after nearly 5 years!  Still a lot to do but feel better now the ball is rolling.  We went out blackberry & sloe picking afterwards.

Some people where meantioning wigs.  I wore mine last wkend as I was a bridesmaid & it will prob be the last time as I went commando 2 weeks ago.  Hair is very fluffy & about 1cm long! Still not much in the way of lashes & brows:( xxx

[rolicarpit]

Hi everyone, Have been reading the thread but not replying much, feel like I need to ween myself off looking at it numerous times a day... Don't really know why but haven't been able to so have compromised by reading but not posting too much (not sure whether that's cheating lol ) I read with interest the posts about feelings after treatment and think that now I've finished I should be able to get on with my normal life, ie not relying on this forum and going about my usual business but still find it's not that simple so have deicided not to give myself a hard time about it all.

I've had a busy week, not back to work until tomorrow and had a bit of a to do with HR who were telling me I couldn't go back until the week beginning 22nd Sept as they couldn't get a time to meet with me before that... Well I told them I was going in anyway and that I wasn't going to have another 5 sick days added to my already long list because they couldn't fit in a meeting and lo and behold I had a meeting this week and start back part time from tomorrow.... Hooray... I'm looking forward to it, bit nervous about the student reactions to my very short and unstyled hair but hey ho, they will have to get used to it!

Sounds like everyone is doing well on here, Lovewine, hope you managed to get off the grumpy step and have a good day and that all goes well at the hospital tomorrow.

Wildpurl, sounds like you have earns a rest day today, what with putting beds together and hiking up hills at ant properties, where are you going on holiday to?

EAM congrats on getting to you last radio

Rosie really hoping you are having a great weekend, sounds lovely, nice food and place etc, can't wait to come to Cyprus, feels like forever since I've been abroad

Joan, hope your doing ok and getting your head round finishing treatment, it's really not as easy as you expect it should be and sounds absolutely ridiculous trying to explain it to anyone who has not been through it, I've tried and they think I'm mad !

Sorry if I've missed anyone out, always a problem when trying to catch up on a lot of posts.

One more piece of info is that I've now been on Tamoxifen for 3 weeks ish and so far so good .... In fact I've had a very strange side effect .... I've had daily headaches for years and they have pretty much stopped since taking the tamoxifen ... Every cloud etc , fingers crossed its a long term side effect....

Anyway... Off to tidy the kitchen as it looks like a bomb site

have a good evening all

Lisa

[Wildpurl]

Morning all, had a great day out yesterday. Petworth House was amazing, full of sculptures and paintings and beautiful artwork. The grounds are quite large and we walked around them and saw many deer, I also walked up some reasonable slopes without getting too much out of breath. I'm tired today though!

Going to potter about a bit this morning and rest this afternoon.

Next week I have to work all five days but then I will be on holiday for a week, so I should be able to cope!

Hope everyone enjoys their Sundays

[Lovewine]

Morning everyone, Rosie, sounds like you are having a nice time and enjoying nice food! I am getting really fed up now with the constant hospital trips that cause so much anxiety- scans, heartscans, blood tests and now tomorrow waiting for path results, just seems to be a constant build up of worry!
Eam, you sound great, so good you have last radio tomorrow! Have you found any side effects with herceptin? Hope to start mine soon! Good luck with plant buying, must say I have discovered gardening to be very satisfying, watching things grow, at least you have something to show for the hard work, unlike housework!
Wildpurl, hope you are having a nice weekend with your daughter, Joan, hope you are ok too! Enjoy your buffet!!
Have a good Sunday everyone, not sure what I am doing yet as at the moment my backside is firmly glued to the grumpy step!

[EAM28]

Thank you all for your well wishes,concerns & encouragement as always!  Sounds like you are all doing nice things & eating lovely food.  Every time I have just a cup of tea I think how nice it is to enjoy it with no sore mouth etc!

I had a couple of 'melt down moments' when I finished chemo - getting myself worked up over things that are silly so I think hubby just wanted me to take a step back from it all.  

The holiday was great thank you love wine!:). I was a little disappointed when we turned up - the caravan & site was a bit rough!  But I was off to radio every day by 8.15am & then we would be out all day doing lots & my little girl loved every minute so if she's happy we're happy!

Yep last radio tomorrow!!:). Herceptin no'6 on wed.  This year is going a lot quicker than I thought it would!

Off to get soil & a couple climbing plants as spent the whole day tidying the garden yesterday.  Have a big raised flower bed to fill when the time is right.  Hope you all have a good day xxx

[rosie14]

The chocolate souflee did not disappoint !!! I think I may well get home tomorrow having put on a couple of pounds!!!!
Hope you all have a good Sunday!
Thinking of you tomorrow Lovewine. X

[Lovewine]

Afternoon everyone, hope you enjoying your weekend Rosie, and yes felt great getting a bargain!
Joan, I love waitrose, but only pop in for " treats" and special occasions like you!! The food is lovely, if I luckily became wealthy I would do all my shopping every week there! Enjoy your buffet tomorrow and your puddings sound delicious.
Wildpurl, hope you enjoyed petworth house, glad new bed is comfortable too!

[rosie14]

Lovewine what a bargain you had with the jeans well done you!

[rosie14]

Wildpurl glad the bed is comfortable and hope you enjoy the day with your daughter; I am surprised you don't have your own hens?!!!

[rosie14]

Jos glad you have come off the grumpy step and you have received helpful advice. Lovely that you have been able to meet with work colleagues socially before returning to work.
Enjoy the rest of your time with your sister.

[rosie14]

Am going to,answer each post individually don't trust internet signal here!
Joan you and Lovewine are correct it's,only when you step back for a while you realise what you have coped with!
Hope the cancer care centre helps.
The birthday celebrations are still going on, no camel this week then?! The walnut and lemon meringue sounds lovely! We are going to our favourite restaurant on decking over the sea. Good food, good wine lovely location and chocolate soufflé!

[joan47]

Just treated ourselves to a shop at Waitrose (gulp at checkout of course). Family lunch tomorrow to celebrate, again, husbands 70th birthday. Decided a cold buffet would be easiest and wouldn't involve me in too much cooking. I have made a couple of puddings though - summer pudding and a walnut and lemon curd meringue.,not sure how the latter would turn out though since just as I was congratulating myself on dividing the mixture evenly realised I had forgotten to put the walnuts in so had to scrape it all back into the bowl! Still at least I feel I have made a bit of an effort.

Jos, glad you found your appointments useful. It makes such a difference having decent explanations. And finishing up in the pub sounds just the thing.

Rosie, commiserations on losing your post. So frustrating.

[rosie14]

Eam glad you have nearly finished your treatment. Do look after yourself and drop in to let us know how you are doing occasionally.x

[rosie14]

Have just lost a very long post so will catch later grrrrrrr!!!!!

[Wildpurl]

PS tulamo I hope you are doing OK and getting through the SEs from your latest chemo

[Wildpurl]

Pleased to say that the new bed is very comfortable!
Jos, glad to hear that your appointments with the nurse and counsellor were helpful and that you are feeling a bit better.
We are up quite early this morning as we have a few things to do before going to pick my daughter up at the station and heading off to Petworth. It is the Farmers Market today and that is where we get our eggs, so got to go down and get them first. The Tour of Britain is passing through Petworth this morning as well, so we might stop to see that go by.

Your jeans were a great bargain Lovewine, I love it when I find something really good in a charity shop.
Joan, I have walked through the park at Petworth on a previous visit but I have never seen the house, so am looking forward to that.

EAM, glad to hear you are doing well and moving on.

Enjoy your Saturdays everyone!

[jos]

Less on the grumpy step tonight!

I saw the nurse about my seroma.  They want to wait and see if it goes away in a few weeks.  They would rather not aspirate unless it gets worse.  The nurse took time to explain things and talk about other concerns so it was a worthwhile visit.  The counselling session was helpful and then I spent the afternoon in the pub for a colleague's leaving do!  Just what I needed and it was nice to see everyone prior to my return to work - it will make it easier.

I hope you all sleep well and have good weekends.  I am going to spend the time doing some nice things with my sister as she'll be leaving soon.

x

[Lovewine]

Joan, it seems then most of us feel the same regarding the stress we are feeling now, glad it wasn't just me! I think we are expected to feel " better" now that chemo is finished!
Strangely, it was my husband that recommended joining this forum , after a particularly awful day when i was in despair not long after diagnosis, must say it has been a massive comfort and support to me. I am not into Facebook or similar things but have found this thread to be invaluable-thanks ladies!!

[joan47]

Lovewine, glad your retail therapy helped to get you off the grumpy step a bit. I am with you about the post traumatic stress effect. I surprised myself by not being more upset and anxious about the diagnosis and although the chemo was challenging and the prognosis in terms of further surgery worrying on the whole I coped better than I would have anticipated. Now it's nearly over it seems to be hitting me and I feel worse than before. I have decided to go back to the cancer care centre I went to earlier to try and get on more of an even keel. Hope youngest your results on Monday and the news is positive.

Rosie, happy birthday.mgreat news about your dad. Hope you are enjoying your weekend and that the surgeon is right that it will feel easier.

EAM. Good to hear from you and great that you are done. A pity that your husband didn't think bring on this forum was good for you. Mine was rather hostile to it at the start, but came round to it and now recognises how much of a lifeline it has been. I suspect he thought that since I had his support I shouldn't need anything else.

Jos, hope your counselling appt was helpful. You have had such a lot to cope with without the seroma reappearing.

Wildpurl, hope you enjoyed Petworth. We had hoped to get there when we had our few days in Sussex in August but ran out of time. Enjoy your new bed,

[rosie14]

Arrived safely in the north in a wifi area having dinner with a glass of wine. Wildpurl,glad your bed arrived ok and it is safely assembled I do hope it will be comfortable!
The surgeon listened and said it will get better as we put more in so in I went for another inflation . I screech when he puts that needle in my side! I have got pain killers with me incase I can't stand it. Next inflation next Friday!'
Jos sorry you are on the grumpy step! You have been through a lot and surgery is depressing and looking back after all we have come through and that yet to come. Try to take a day at a time that's what I do know because it's just too steep a hill to climb otherwise.
Lovewine sorry that you and Jos have seroma I had it aspirated several times before it went,
I can understand how fed up you ladies are of wearing your wigs as I can't wait to rip mine off when I have been out for the night, I just wear a light head scarf in the day. Thank you for all my birthday wishes. When we crossed the boarder tonight the passport control guy shook my hand and started humming happy birthday!

[Lovewine]

Eam, how lovely to hear from you, I have thought about you many times in last few weeks and hoped you were getting on with life and doing well! I quite understand your hubby wants to move forward now, it does all seem surreal which we were mentioning earlier. Last radio on Monday- well done!! Hope you had a nice holiday too!! X

[EAM28]

Hello all! Sorry I haven't been on since last chemo.  Hubby didn't think it was healthy for me & wants me to move on now that the worst is over.  Have my last radio on Mon 15th!!:). Hope you are all doing well.  I will scan over the last few posts & see what you have all been up to xxx

[Lovewine]

Evening everyone, Wildpurl hope you managed your sorting out and tidying up! You will be looking forward to some good nights of restful sleep! Enjoy petworth house and time with your daughter.
I went to our local town this afternoon and after buying the boring stuff I looked around the more interesting ones! Most have 25% sales on at the moment too! also went into the cancer research charity shop and found a brand new , very pricey pair of joules jeans ( still had label on them for £65.00) and I paid £7.00! So that went a good way to lifting my grumpy mood!!
Hope you are all doing ok, have good weekends whatever you are all doing!
Rosie, hope you got some answers today at your appointment? Enjoy your birthday weekend and right now I hope you are being spoilt and lolling around with a glass of something interesting in your hand!!🍷

[Wildpurl]

Well, the old bed is moved to the spare room and the new one is assembled and made up in our room, it looks very nice :). We might get some new bedding but do have enough for both rooms at the moment so will probably look out for something we like in the sales.

This afternoon I have cleaning to do as we have to clear up after the delivery and all the boxes and polystyrene everywhere. I have a waxing appointment later and then tomorrow we are off to Petworth for the day with my daughter, who is staying over, and on Sunday I will be gardening.

So a typical Wildpurl relaxing weekend 😉

Lovewine, I'm fed up with wearing my wig to work, too, but my real hair, although improving, is not yet looking OK enough for work. I think maybe another couple of months, but we'll see.

Jos, either of your two difficult experiences would be hard to come to terms with and live through, and both together is a lot to cope with. I could imagine that it would be hard to disentangle which is causing what feelings which I am sure a counsellor will be able to help you with. Sending some cyber hugs your way.
ETA I started Pilates again 4 weeks after my surgery, but as I had an implant I did not have any surgery on my back, which might lengthen the time you would need to heal?

[Lovewine]

Morning jos, yes I feel really fed up today too! My seroma has not drained away yet either! Am fretting now about results and possible surgery too, yes as we have been saying and Wildpurl too, I think it does seem surreal all the chemo etc and maybe it starts to hit us now! You certainly have had a lot going on too with your personal life, how difficult on top of everything else, hope you can offload on counsellor today! My nails look like they are nicotine stained too, and I am bloody fed up with wearing a wig! Definitely joining you in the rant !!

WIldpurl, hope you have a good day, enjoy your new bed! Have you bought new bedding for it!? Sounds like you are going to be busy again! Do you have anything planned for the weekend?

[jos]

Morning All

I am definitely on the grumpy step this morning.

Lovewine - I totally understand what you are saying about the delayed reaction.  I can't quite believe what has happened this year when I look back and it feels overwhelming.  Meet wonderful new partner, get diagnosed with cancer two months later, embark on treatment, partner amazingly supportive, partner gets ill (you can probably put two and two together following my previous comments about "someone very close" and depression), partner becomes ex-partner, treatment rumbles on.  It seems neverending and yet the thought of going back to work, Tamoxifen, radiotherapy all still to come.....  I can't even imagine the point where I put all this behind me and just get on with life and even then it's not going to be the life I was imagining for myself earlier this year.  I have an appointment with my counsellor today thank goodness - maybe she can help me get some perspective.

To add to it (sorry for the rant!) my seroma has reappeared.  Having thought I'd seen the last of hospital for a few weeks I have to go in this morning for the nurse to have a look.  They don't want to drain it so looks like I will have to live with it for a while and see if it reabsorbs.  It's very uncomfortable as it rubs under my arm when I'm walking.  Other than that all looks ok after the surgery.  I didn't have any dressings on afterwards so have had little choice but to look!  Will have big scar on my back but it will fade in time.  Won't know how the two boobs compare until after it has settled and i've seen the effects of the rads.  Hope all goes well with the results on Monday Lovewine and I hope you are happy with the outcome of the surgery once settled.  You too Joan.

Gosh what a lot of nails going.  I don't feel in the clear with that then.  Mine look like I'm smoking 20 a day but no signs on coming off yet.  Will reapply nail varnish today and ignore them.

Rosie - good luck today.  Hope you have a lovely weekend and a happy birthday.  Glad to hear that your dad has stabilised.

TLJ - I hope your son settles well.  I'm glad you feel your fitness levels are recovering.  I am desperate to get back to more activity.  I have walked almost every day throughout all this which has helped enormously.  I was quite pleased that I walked my daughter to school and then did a bit further 48 hours after surgery!  Looking forward to the 12 week point though when I can start doing more.

Wildpurl - your energy levels seem impressive as always!  How long after surgery did you get back to pilates?

Have a good day everyone.

x

[Wildpurl]

Good morning,
Yesterday was a busy day for me, The bed and mattress were delivered early although the driver had the usual difficulty finding the house! The mattress was vacuum packed in a roll so easy to carry upstairs, when we opened the roll it was like a live thing unrolling! Very clever.packaging. Then I drove to work, then in the evening to Sainsburys to do the shopping, I was exhausted after all that. The dining room is covered in bits of bed and packaging at the moment, after my Pilates class today's task is to move the old bed and install the new one. And then clean up!

Rosie, a happy birthday to you and hope you have a lovely weekend. I do hope the surgeon listens to your concerns about how uncomfortable you are, it really isn't right. What lovely words from your daughter in your birthday card, and she is quite right, too.

Lovewine, I was thinking about what you said about a sort of post traumatic stress. I don't know if it's the same as you are feeling, but now things are getting more back to normal I have started to feel that the chemo period is unreal, and I can't quite believe I went through it. At the same time I also feel that I can't quite believe in the normality, because will anything really be normal again?

Thank you so much by the way for your suggestions of nice things to see and do in Snowdonia. I've not been there before so am more than happy to have recommendations, lots of ideas there. We love castles and have already planned to visit a couple during the week.

Sorry to all those who have been on the sulky step, I hope the things that are bothering you clear up quickly. Right I had better go and get showered and dressed as I need to be off to the gym in half an hour!

[Lovewine]

That sounds much more positive Rosie, at least he can be home, but have help too if he needs it.

[rosie14]

Many thanks Lovewine!
Dad is stabilised at the moment and they are going to try and get him home next week! The occupational therapist is going to meet my sister at his apartment and see what can be done to make things easier for him. My sister is going to get some help to get him up and to bed also! He has pull cords in every room linked to Care line if he has problem!

[Lovewine]

Rosie, of course , you are off straight after your appt for your weekend treat! Have a lovely weekend and a very happy birthday! I hope it won't be spoiled too much by all this discomfort and uncertainty, your daughter is right with her lovely words- not many people would have been able to deal with what you have had thrown at you this year! So try and relax if possible and enjoy doing nothing!
Hope your dad is doing ok too and stabilised.
A very happy birthday 🍷x

[rosie14]

Thanks Lovewine I am not looking forward to it I need him to understand that while I am awake I am constantly feeling the heavy pressure and extreme tightness. I bet he just blows me up again and expects me to cope!
Will be thinking of you on Monday and hope the results will be back and it will be positive!
Shopping for bird seed and cleaning products, wow! We don't have to feed the birds here as there is plenty of food all year round for them! We used to have a bird feeder when we lived in Devon and the squirrels used to come and and devour it!
Just read the message in my daughter's birthday card stating" To the strongest, bravest, and most inspirational Mum and Grandma!",I had better get of the grumpy step and get on with it!!!!!'
Hope you all have a relaxing weekend!