Anyone due to start chemo April 14??

[joan47]

Kirstie, as others have said best not to make any decisions until you're well through all this. But I can remember how distressed you were about your OH's attitude and behaviour in the early days and although things have improved from then I can understand you pondering on whether this relationship is going to meet your needs long term. Cancer doesn't seem to have come on its own for many of us, has it?

[joan47]

Wildpurl, that is brilliant news. Now you can get the full benefit from your beauty treatments tomorrow.

[Kirstie77]

Hi ladies, just in from work xx

Oh wild purl, that's fantastic news I'm over the moon for you, I can only imagine the relief you must feel.

Thank you or all your comments re hubby, sometimes just saying it outloud makes you face stuff but I will certainly be waiting and seeing how things pan out, life is to short.

Lovewine yes I'm back at work 5 days been doing it a while though I work Fridays from home, it's tiring and I'm normally in bed early but it's getting back to normal life I suppose, though I don't feel normal, funny isn't it we crave normality yet it seems so alien at times :0)

Just off for my dinner and get my pjs on its cold and I'm starving so intend to get cozy and stick the fire on, it's not stopped raining all day.

Lovewine focus on that break it will be a great tonic x

I'm with wirlpurl would love a visit to the Eden project ! Maybe next year i can add that to the list ;0)

Hugs to all xx

[rolicarpit]

Hello everyone, wanted to say thanks for your comments yesterday, I actually ended up having a good day so was glad to get my grump out of the way early on in the day. I've not been working today so feeling pretty relaxed and my new Annie Lennox CD turned up today so that has cheered me up too!
Kirstie - thanks for your comments, I have had a blood test and have high fsh and LH levels which I think means that I have low estrogen levels but think that I won't be considered menopausal yet... I'll see what they say next week.
Lovewine - thanks for the tip about the lady are magnet, I have seen them but never bought one, maybe I will, I can't see how it would work either but looking at reviews many people say they do so might be worth a go as long as it doesn't attract other metal objects to my underwear... Our cat once came in with a teaspoon attached to her collar magnet ! It's a weird feeling leaving the hospital for the last time but you get over it quite quickly.
Rosie - the little pictures suddenly appeared after an update on my iPad, it's a little smiley face icon on the keyboard 😄 sounds like another full on day today 🐪 but glad you are enjoying spending time with your family. I do have a ceiling fan in the bedroom but I get too cold if its on ... There's no in between either boiling or freezing...oh well, hopefully they will disappear like yours Wildpurl, how long have you been taking tamoxifen for? very pleased to read about your results today, you must be very relieved, let's hope that's your last visit to the waiting room, it's such a horrible feeling.
Joan - I hadn't thought of looking on other threads, tend to only come to this one now but at will have a look, hope you had a good day with your grandchildren today and found something to do?
Cassie - glad you had a good holiday, I went to the Eden project earlier this year, amazing place.
Kirstie - hope you're ok ... I think this cancer crap makes us question lots of aspects of our lives but as the others have wisely said it's probably best to put a bit of distance between treatment and any major decisions, good news about your job though.
Well, better put the washing in, it's been waiting all day and my partner is due home any minute so need to make it look like I've done something productive !!!
have a good evening
Lisa

[Lovewine]

Great news Wildpurl, was thinking of you earlier , I knew you had an appt for results but for some reason had got in my head it was tomorrow! Enjoy your pampering you so deserve it!
Rosie, enjoy your fish, glad you are managing to do lots of nice things around your appts!
Thank you both for your kind words re my dad- yes always something to worry about, can see why are our age group is called " the sandwich generation" with recent worries with son and now with dad.!

[rosie14]

Great news Wildpurl what a relief!!!!! Enjoy your facial and massage tomorrow what a lovely way to celebrate todays's news! Enjoy the rest of your week.

[Wildpurl]

Afternoon all, I am just back from seeing my consultant and very relieved to be able to say the biopsy showed all clear, only muscle and scar tissue, which is exactly what the consultant predicted. I am sure you can all imagine how relieved I am! This is the third time in two weeks I have been to see a Dr and been scared I might have a recurrence, I have now become completely terrified of even parking in the car park, let alone waiting in the outpatients waiting room.

I am intending to go to Body Balance this evening, as I could do with some exercise and I find it very relaxing, and tomorrow I have a one hour facial followed by a one hour aromatherapy massage booked with my beautician, and I am really looking forward to that! This morning we went shopping in Guildford and FIL bought me a cooks knife as a belated birthday present (my choice), we also had a look around House of Fraser which is already getting very Christmassy. He is departing at lunchtime tomorrow and OH and I will enjoy the last few days off on our own, I am determined to go for a nice long walk as at least one day is forecast to be fine.

Cassie, glad you enjoyed your break in Cornwall, I have never been to the Eden project but would love to visit it one day. Rosie, sounds like you are getting the most out of your daughter and family staying, and enjoying the grandchildren.
Lovewine, I can empathise with how you feel now most of your treatment is over, I think it takes a bit of getting used to. I am sorry you have worries about your Dad's leg now, too! I think your break in Norfolk will be a good thing!

[rosie14]

Good evening everyone we all headed off for Nicosia at 6.30am we got there at 8.30 and I was out just after 9. Went back on motorway towards Limassol heading for the camel park. We had a lovely day daughter,SIL and the children had a camel ride we all feed them with carobs. The children went in the swimming pool and on several rides. We had lunch there and then headed home. DH just purchased a sea bass for tea which he is attacking in the kitchen now! Not sure what plans are for tomorrow yet but I am going on bus tomorrow as DH gets very tired up and down in a day!
Lovewine you must feel relieved now you have finished rads! I am sorry to,hear about your dad's leg there always seems to be someone to,worry about doesn't there. Just as you feel you are turning a corner, bang life hits you again and throws another incident for you to cope with. Hopefully your son's trip to Rome will put a distance between him and the ex and help him to cope better when he gets back.
Kirstie I am glad you feel you can share you concerns with us. Our OH's all seem to cope differently with having a cancer partner. You have been through a lot and still have a little way to go . As Lovewine says I would complete your treatment first and then see how you feel. Maybe you could encourage him to go to marriage guidance when everything is completed and take it from there. Thinking of you' x
Ah Kirstie just read that Wildpurl made the same suggestion!
Wildpurl glad all is quiet on the western
front with the males in your house!
Cassie glad you enjoyed your Cornish break what an issue you had at the Eden Project I hope it didn't spoil your visit!
Not nice to get home so late and then into,work the next morning.

[Lovewine]

Hi ladies, so pleased cassie you enjoyed your trip to Cornwall- it's one of my favourite places, I love fowey, sounds like you had quite an adventure at the Eden project!! Expect you are quite tired today now.
Wildpurl, hope you have had a nice day today, weather is a bit rubbish, but maybe some reading or knitting in order to relax!?
Rosie, hope your rads went ok and you enjoyed the rest of the day too, hope your little grandchildren are having a lovely time!
Lisa, how are you today? Just a thought, but when I had menopause last year and had bad hot sweats I was recommended the lady care magnet, unbelievably I found it worked for me! It's a small magnet put into your pants, not sure how it works but it did !! You can buy from boots or amazon, but perhaps check if suitable after cancer treatment?
Kirstie, how are you getting on, are you back at work full time now?
Joan, hope
the granddaughter visit is going well and you are not too tired!
Tij and Jackie , hope your holidays are a nice distraction and you are having lovely times!
Tulamo, hope you are ok too.
It has seemed very strange not going for treatment today, I feel a little scared without the reassurance, although being on herceptin I am back to oncologist and chemo ward quite regularly!
Must say I think my rads have ended in time as i am quite red and sore today and skin very itchy , apparently the effect carries on working for at least two weeks so soreness can get worse afterwards!
Think Im going to make some chicken and vegetable soup for dinner, also one of Jamie Oliver's recipes which looks very nice and most importantly easy! Can't seem to be bothered at the moment with much as feel quite weary, body clock not adjusted yet either !!

[Cassie86]

Morning Ladies,

I very much enjoyed the short trip to Cornwall, Fowey was pretty we did a bit of shopping and visited a gallery there, I was not sure how it would be as most places a fairly isolated and us without a car but all was well we found all cab drivers very accomodating and only marginally dearer than bus fares, its wierd but I suppose we are a bit spoilt with oyster cards in London we don't really think about local travel that much, just do it. 

The Eden project was impressive very foggy on the day, which made it look like something from another planet, our diner in the Mediteranean sphere was nice but a bit chilly to be realistic, we had some trouble getting out to the car park at the end of the trip the main building closes at 6 and they do not allow you to walk in the grounds in the dark, so we were meant to have a mini bus to ferry all the diners out but it broke down, so the back up plan was a golf buggy which could only seat 5, which meant a very long wait, our cab gave up and left despite us ringing to say please wait, we managed to get another one in 15 mins though so although completely dark and we could here plenty of wildlife. it was alright, I like a bit of an adventure. We managed to fit in a visit to an owl sanctuary yesterday, which was lovely, impressive birds, I loved watching them fly. We stopped for a quick supper at Paddington Station on our way back, there was no way I was cooking, arrived home about 10.30pm and back to work today.

I hope all the effects of meds and treatment are not getting you all down too much, thinking of you all Cassie

[Wildpurl]

Congratulations on completing your rads, Lovewine! hope your son enjoys his trip to Rome.
All is calm here now, no more disagreements since this morning! OH was right, he nearly always is correct with his facts, which can be v irritating, but it is because of years of arguing with his Dad that he always gets his facts straight before starting an argument...
I have read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, Joan, it's a great book and makes perfect sense to me, OH doesn't get it at all LOL
Kirstie, I think that waiting until your treatment is complete before taking any action is sensible, as you don't need any more stress! Would your DH go to counselling with you? That might help you both to see if this is all misunderstandings or real differences that can't be resolved.
Rosie sounds like you are enjoying your time with your family visiting, the pirate ship sounds great!

[Lovewine]

Hi Kirstie, I think you are right not to make any decision until surgery etc is finished, think you have enough to deal with at the moment. Do you think maybe your O/H struggles with showing feelings/empathy with the cancer and as a coping mechanism shows negative feelings- am sure you have made these excuses yourself as regards his unhelpful behaviour! My youngest son has sometimes appeared to be quite unfeeling when I have had Various treatments, it has been a front to protect himself from the worry he felt, I really hope you can make things work, but as we all know from this years events- life is far too short to be in an unhappy situation... But I think you are wise to wait and see! X

[Kirstie77]

Wow that's a lot of reading to catch up on, everyone has been very busy x

Thank you for all the lovely posts about my job it does feel good to have to not worry so much about that ;0)

Congratulation lovewine on your last rads gosh what a journey to get there, I remember how scared we all where to start our first chemo, we were practically pro's by the end !

And Rosie, I would love to be on a pirate ship right now, glad your having a good time with the family x

I don't know where I found time to work before, nothing else is getting done at all !

I did mention my other half not being the best, tbh I'm unsure what to do, I feel I'm not in the right frame of mind to make any decisions, but I'm not sure if I can forgive him for some of the things he has done - or not done as the case may be, I think this could be the perfect opportunity to make our relationship amazing because we can be so open and honest but he won't, he has treated this like a massive inconvenience to him, and I have made so many excuses for him in my head but actually I don't believe them myself, my problem is if this ever comes back or any illness maybe even just getting old I honestly hand on heart don't feel he would look after me, so I don't know what to do, I have decided that I will do nothing until I have had all my surgery and am on the mend then evaluate the situation. Sorry that was slightly more sharing than I intended x lol

Oh and re the table yes you are all so right, anyway Xmas table squidges are funny ! Xx

[Kirstie77]

Hi rolicarpit,

Sorry only just reading your post as just got in from work, grump away I hate tamoxifen too, I have been told I can't come of it as I am pre menopausal and there isn't an alternative, but a blood test will tell you how you are getting on my GP did it for me and it took a week to come back, I was on the wartner (something or other) brand, when I picked up my prescription this time it was relonchem still tamoxifen, i was worried because i had heard the the side effects from ths brand where worse, but since taking this my side effects are much better, my sweats are less and the dry mouth which was beyond ridiculous is now bearable and the dry patches of skin I was getting are no where near as bad.... Maybe you could try asking you chemist to get a different brand, they will say the ingredients are the same but something different, and I'm less emotional, though I am a bit more stroppy lol - hope that helps xx

[Lovewine]

Last rads done!! Can't quite believe I am not going into oncology department every day. Must say though I feel quite anxious as did feel very secure, saw oncologist and his first words were" well you made it to the end!" Still have to see onc every 6/8 weeks to be monitored for the herceptin though.
Lisa, sorry you are having a tough time, I had awful sweats with menopause last year, then started up again on chemo and get them still now, not as bad as you though, from reading other ladies on different threads with tamoxifen issues I believe a lot of side effects are caused by the different brands of tamoxifen- some brands are much worse than others I believe. I think you have every right to be fed up as like you say you are on them for many years so you want to feel well and not plagued with issues.
Yes I am taking my dogs to whitby!
Wildpurl, hope things are more serene with your menfolk this afternoon! Good that you had some positive news from O/H and suspect mole, there is always something to worry about, hope you can have some relaxing days for the rest of the week.
My youngest son departs for Rome on Friday, he is still moping so am hoping this trip will help him move forward, my worry has now turned to my dad, he has a blocked artery in leg which is getting worse and he has bad circulation in foot which is very painful and it is turning a nasty colour, I am fully expecting it to be amputated at some point, so my poor mum has dad to worry about now as well as my illness all year.
Joan, hope your rads went ok today, smiled at the thought of your O/h grabbing a handful of flowers from garden to present at your bedside! Strange isn't it how some things still annoy us all these years later, hope you think of something to do to amuse granddaughter, you seem to have had a spurt of energy today, hope you haven't used it all up !
Rosie, hope you have enjoyed your day off from rads and had a lovely day, I also avoid confrontation now I am older, wasn't always that way, but somehow the older you get the less you can be bothered with a row!!
Kirstie, hope you are ok and having a not bad day, cassie, how was st Austell? Hope you managed some nice trips, Jackie, hope you are having a lovely time , you too Tij in Paris!
Tulamo, are you back riding yet, hope you are feeling a little more your old self now chemo is behind you!
Going to make a tassimo caramel macchiato now, with a big choc biscuit!

[rosie14]

Hi Lisa glad you got home safely and enjoyed your stay in Cyprus. The new shopping Mall in Paphos has taken a lot of trade away from the town it is very sad.
I am sorry you are feeling grumpy today but I fully understand why. Can you put a fan in your bedroom to help when you get the hot flushes. I throw the covers on and off and we are still using the ceiling fan in our bedroom. Hopefully your oncologist will be able to give you an alternative type.
How do you get the little pictures in your text?
Thank goodness your husbands mole is benign Wildpurl that's one less thing to,worry about! Glad to hear you are getting some relaxation time. Men are like pack animals where one tries to dominate there is friction between SIL and DH!!!
Joan I will not be riding on a camel tomorrow I have also done it in Egypt!!!
The forest BBQ was good,the children enjoyed collecting things and there is a small play park there. On the cat front there was a cat in the forest with a short tail visiting all the tables for food. DH dropped one if the sausages in the ash so the cat ended up with that one!
DH has had to go to football this afternoon so I ended up taking the family to the beach. I was the most over dressed person with my leggings and short sleeved tunic and of course head scarf. The man taking money for the sunbeds asked me if I needed the bed- was already on it - I said yes only for half an hour I expect you are going to charge me the full rate which is 6 euros for 2 . He asked me for 2 euros which I was happy to pay!
Glad you have more energy today Joan it sounds like you will need it tomorrow!
Hope you could reassure the person starting rads tomorrow.

[joan47]

Wildpurl, that is great news. One of your anxieties relieved at least. Having FIL to stay certainly seems to create waves. I wonder Who proved to be right about the opening times. Have you read Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. One of the points made I really recognise: faced with an emotional problem/relationship issue by a woman men's instinct is to try to find a solution which sometimes includes you doing something practical about it. But what women are often asking for is recognition of their feelings.

Rolicarpit, glad you had a relaxing holiday but sorry to hear about the problems you are having with Tamoxifen, no wonder you are feeling stressed. Have you been onto other threads on this site to see if other people have been able to get any help with the side effects?

Lovewine, hope all went well with your final rads and appt with oncologist. I had no 10 today, only 5 more to go. The cream they gave me yesterday seems to have helped with the soreness and itchiness. Let's hope it lasts. Your post about festering grudges dating back to childbirth reminds me of when our first child was born, after a Caesarian so I was feeling pretty dopey and husband turned up not with a lovely bunch of roses but some flowers he had hastily picked from the garden. Next time around he was given strict instructions as to what was expected. Your feeling of this year having felt surreal also chimed with me; it feels almost as if it has been happening to someone else. Perhaps that's our mind's way of enabling us to get through it.

Rosie, indeed you did have a busy day. The pirate ship sounds most entertaining. I am wondering what to do with granddaughter to morrow, there is nothing quite as exciting as that. She is 41/2. Her brother is 21/2 and extremely noisy. Hope your day today is rather more relaxing. Tomorrow, will you get to ride on the camels? I had the chance to do it in Egypt but chickened out. But then they didn't seem particularly tame.

Seem to have more energy today. Did Tescos shop first thing, then rads. Very jolly there this morning, one of my fellow patients had a birthday and he came round everybody to offer them a chocolate. Then came back and baked a cake -friends coming to tea on Thursday- off in a little while to have a cup,of tea with someone local who is about to start rads. Planning to walk round, it's not that far. So will probably be in a heap this evening.

[joan47]

Kirstie, brilliant news that you are no longer threatened with redundancy. As others have said, no-one should feel their woes are insignificant here. Loved your typos, brilliant image of you all sitting round the table at Xmas not, bothered and dripping. We bought a new (extendable) dining table last year, and were told that it would normally seat 8 or 12 in a 'Xmas squeeze'.

[Wildpurl]

And OH's mole is benign, Dr has frozen it and removed it. I'm feeling quite relieved!

[Wildpurl]

Just to add that although OH loves his Dad, they are both strong opinionated characters and clash if in each other's company for too long...currently arguing about Costco opening times, OH citing intranet and FIL calling family members on phone to bear witness that website is wrong. I've retreated upstairs to have my shower and get dressed!

[Wildpurl]

Morning everyone, another sunny day here but the last one this week I think. I have got all my washing dry though which is good! OH is up early and off to Dr as he has a mole he is worried about. Yet another thing causing worry but hopefully he will get information.

This morning we are going to do some gardening and then this afternoon we are going to Costco as FIL has a card and we always enjoy browsing and getting bargains there! Then another relaxing evening although I am making pizzas which is quite a frantic activity.
I am managing to rest and relax to some extent as the week goes on, and having a week off is definitely helping my stress levels.
I am also on Tamoxifen and did have a lot of hot flushes to start with but they do seem to have got much less frequent now, so hopefully yours will too, Lisa. As for mood, well as I have said already, I am very emotional and easily upset at the moment. Some of that is stress due to ongoing events, but I think I am worrying much more than I used to and can get tearful very quickly. OH is very good with the practical support, cooking, washing up, organising things etc but he doesn't know how to deal with emotions. His approach is to provide the logical reasons why I don't need to be upset and then get annoyed when I still am.

I suspect that as time goes by we will adjust to our situations, but that doesn't happen overnight! Kirstie, so glad to hear you have escaped redundancy again! Hopefully you won't have to face that particular stress factor any more.

[rolicarpit]

LONG POST ALERT ... Oh and a bit of a grumpy one too !!!

Good morning everyone, well I'm feeling rather grumpy this morning ... Not usually like me but im going to have a moan ... I've been up 4 times in the night due to hot sweats, it's just pouring off me, lasts about 5 - 15 minutes and I'm soaked, how am I expected to get on with my life whilst this is happening, I'm supposed to be working 4 days now although they are short days for me but am getting quite stressed out with the interruptions to sleep and the fact that I can't get through the day without burning up and dripping with sweat every hour or so ... I bloody hate tamoxifen. I'm seeing the Onc next week to discuss but am sure he's going to tell me to just get on with it ... Could cry just want my life back 😥 I had a great holiday last week and felt very rested, thoroughly enjoyed the sunshine and relaxation, hot flushes were fine to cope with as I didn't have any pressure to do anything else but that's not normality. I feel stupid moaning as its nothing really in comparison to treatment etc but at least there was an end to that, I feel like this is going to go on for ever ! Anyway ... Grump over for now feel a bit better that it's off loaded, sorry you all have to read it but helps to put it down in writing.
Congratulations Lovewine on getting to the end of rads, hope it all goes well today 👍 my nails sound a bit like yours, they keep growing to a point but then splitting, peeling and breaking off, although they are getting better, glad the herceptin is going well and it's good that you can have it at home too. Nice too that you have managed to book to get away, will you take the dogs with you when you go to Whitby?
Kirsty - can I ask how did the doctor know you are in second stage menopause ... Is that through blood tests? I'm hoping to be very menopausal because I think they may be able to give something other than tamoxifen then but I don't know if that's right? Glad you enjoyed your night out last week🍹
Rosie ... Glad you got on the pirate ship it sounds like you had a very full on day yesterday, enjoy your day off today, Cyprus was lovely can see why people chose to live there, I'd definatley go back but would be a bit more adventurous next time and get out and see more than just the touristy bits ... There seemed to be a lot of closed businesses in paphos, we walked through a pedestrianised area that looked like it was once quite busy but was shocked at how run down it was, presume the recession has hit quite hard ? Lots of history to see, you kind of trip over bits of ancientness ... Enjoy your bbq🍔
Jackie hope you are having a relaxing time too and are not tempted to smuggle Cyprus cats back in your luggage, we had one make its home in our room within minutes of having the door open🐈
Wildpurl, glad to see you are having a week off and I'm hoping you are feeling a bit better in yourself too, I know what you mean about trying to relax, why are we so rubbish at it ... I can only really do it if I'm away from the house .. Have a good day in the garden / walking today, it's incredible that it's still so mild 🍃
Joan sounds like you had a most productive day yesterday, have a good one today.
Hoping everyone else is having a good week ... Cassie, Tlj, Tulamo enjoy the weather and whatever you are up to.
Well ... Have found that most therapeutic ... Have decided to go into work late, sorry about the length of this post and well done if you have actually got the bottom of it .... Have a good day all😉 (am liking the little pictures that have appeared when I type too 👍👍👍👍) right better get up !

[rosie14]

Lovewine I think most men are members of the unwashed pot club! I think a lot of things our OH's do annoy us greatly quite frankly I hate the stress of confrontation and have festered many things over the years!!! Hope you get on okay with oncologist.

[Lovewine]

Morning everyone, an early awakening for me again! Typical Rosie isn't it when you don't need to wake up early you still do! Enjoy your barbecue and the beach- sounds a lovely day to me!
Kirstie, you must feel more relieved now things are maybe more settled with your job, you certainly don't need all that added stress. I can remember weeks ago you mentioned your O/H wasn't being as supportive as he could be, I really think these issues stick in your mind and Fester ready to explode! My O/H has thankfully been very strong and positive, but I still find myself getting cross and have harboured a grudge for 25 years- when I came out of hospital after giving birth to eldest son I arrived home to find the house a total mess- pots unwashed, dog hair not hoovered up etc, I wanted to arrive home to flowers and clean house! Still feel like slapping him now when I think of it all these years later! My best friend too gets cross at the thought of her hubby dismissing her need for a double buggy for her baby and toddler and said it was unnecessary as she struggled-also 27 years ago!
Off early again to do battle with rush hour as my rads appt is at 8.50 followed by oncologist appt, have good days everyone! X

[rosie14]

Good morning ladies I just got half way through my text and touched undo!!!
Wildpurl I hope you are finding time for yourself to relax this week you owe it to yourself!
Lovewine today we are going for BBQ lunch to the forest and then going to beach. The rest of the week looks mixed weather wise a few storms around. Hoping it won't be too bad tomorrow as we are taking the family to Nicosia with us to visit the camel park on the way back form my radiotherapy.
Well,done for getting to the end of your rads Lovewine I am very envious I still have 22 to go!!!! I finish on the 27th November!
Kirstie it must be such a relief to have escaped the redundancy once again.
It would probably be better to have 8 seater and make do at Christmas or else you are going to have extra chairs all over the house the rest of the year!
As Lovewine said nobodies woes are
insignificant on this board they are all big deals to us. We have all had to and continue to have to take on board more treatment, medication, side effects, family stresses, work stresses and each thing that is added to our load is one too many.
I think it is very hard for our immediate family to cope with cancer sometimes and they feel that are treading on eggshells and don't always know the right thing to say!
I was awake at 5.30 today the very day I don't have to get up early!
Lisa I hope you are feeling more energised after your holiday. Jackie enjoy the remainder of yours. Cassie hope your mini break went well. Tlj hope you are enjoying having your son home for half term. Tulmano have you managed to ride again yet?
Have a good day everyone catch you all later! X

[Kirstie77]

Lovewine, oh yes I really should check for those typos lol

Generally I have been okay I have the odd moment, but since I have been on tamoxifen I can over react very quickly. My husband has not been the greatest throughout and when he makes a dig I just verbally shoot him down now because I feel he can be so negative and draining, but then I do not know if I am holding a grudge because he was really awful in the beginning though he does seem to have tried to make an effort, or because these pills are making me over sensitive. I feel like I can't trust my own judgement, I went to the docs and he said I could have anti depressants and that the pills were working as I am in second stage menopause. Maybe I expect too much from him, but a bit of compassion and understanding doesn't seem to much to ask x

I know what you mean about it being surreal I often wonder how I got here x one day at a time eh xx compared to everyone else I should be greatful that's all I have to deal with x

[Lovewine]

Kirstie, love the type errors of sweaters!! Yes am doing ok mostly, feel a bit panicky somedays which is why I am on anti anxiety pills!! Didn't think they really did very much until I forgot to take them for 3 days last week and suddenly felt overwhelmed with doom and gloom , took one again pretty quickly! In fact this whole year seems really surreal, as if I am watching someone else having treatment for cancer instead of me! How about you? Have you found it any easier now time has gone on?

[Kirstie77]

Hi Lovewine, with me I feel like I'm going slightly mad and don't know if I really feel like that or it's the tablets lol

We did see a nice one but we want a 10 sweater and they are very expensive £1900 so we decided that we are better to wait and we have an 8 sweater now so we can make do at Christmas ;0) sensible eh !

How are you doing?

[Lovewine]

Kirstie, that's good news, I don't think your woes are insignificant at all, if they matter to you then they are important! Did you find a new dining table yesterday?

[Kirstie77]

Hi all, as I sit reading all your posts I today I feel for you all so much, makes my woes insignificant x

I got the all clear for redundancy again ! Lets hope this is the end of it x

[Lovewine]

Wildpurl, there was quite a good breeze so hopefully your washing dried nicely, hope you had a nice, relaxing afternoon, I relate to finding it hard to relax and thinking you should be doing something, as a complete control freak I have spent many years being in charge of the home and my business and stupidly being unwilling to delegate , I am finding it very hard to take it a little easier! I hope you can find some time to do nice things this week that make you happy- you are having a stressful time right now.

Rosie, sounds like a fun day today! My rads sometimes change due to a breakdown of machine! At least you have a day off tomorrow! What are your plans ? Young children of that age are very tiring aren't they- I always find it particularly tiresome when they shout- why do they never speak at normal volume?!
Hope all you other ladies are doing ok.

[Lovewine]

Joan, apparently the herceptin side effects do alleviate the longer it goes on for- really hope so as I am on it every 3 weeks for a year!! Nails are really quite bad now, refusing to grow and flaking and peeling.
Rads are not too bad, I am a bit red today, it's my last one tomorrow, must say it's passed quickly! Are you having 15? I had that amount. I think you were very restrained with your D/H , why do they volunteer our services without checking or thinking how tired we still are!

[Wildpurl]

Joan I think that your DH is not the only person to know intellectually that treatment is tiring and takes time to recover from, but does not actually map that to everyday activities! I think restricting yourself to one barrel was very restrained...
I am finding myself struggling with the concepts of resting and relaxing. I know I am tired and have been very stressed, so should rest and try to relax, but if I try to do nothing I feel I am wasting time and become depressed and anxious. So I have been trying to reach a happy medium. I have done laundry and a bit of housework, and some more of my online course, but have also spent some time resting and knitting.
I'm now desperate to get out and do some gardening and walking, so that will be tomorrow's plan.

[rosie14]

Good afternoon everyone what a busy day I have had so far!!! Up at 5.00 arrived at 8.10 at Oncology centre with DH. Queued at reception and noticed a sign apologising for any delay today as there was linear activation failure!!!! The very day I need to be out quickly for the pirate voyage! It wasn't too bad I was out by 8.55 and we were on our way back to Paphos. Arrived at 11.00 met daughter and family on the harbour. Boarded the Jolly Roger at 11.30 and at sail at noon. Matilda and George really enjoyed the pirate entertainment just got back home. Going out for fish and chips tonight! Bank holiday here tomorrow so no rads!!!
Lovewine I am sorry that you are waking so early again. I have a very sore nail and the skin on the finger nearly down to the knuckle is red and sore! It feels like I have shut it in a door!
Wildpurl,hope you got your washing dry. It's something we take for granted here for so many months of the year!
Joan sorry you are experiencing redness and itching, what number are you on I have just had number 6 and have 22 more to go !!!!' Joan I should make DH look after granddaughter! How old is she. I am loving it but finding it very tiring it is easier once they are in bed! Matilda is just 6 and George will be 4 on Christmas Eve!
Hope everyone has a good evening!

[joan47]

Rosie, I had a reasonably productive day yesterday, gardening, culling and sorting out books and a bit of ironing. But in between each if those activities had to go and lie down. Most frustrating. Had to cancel my first session of Nordic walking. Today my dear husband suggested that in addition to looking after granddaughter on Wednesday after rads we should have her to stay overnight and look after her the next day as well so her mother can get on with some decorating. Given that said granddaughter is a non sleeper and quite demanding, especially I ally of Grandma, I was really tempted to give it to him with both barrels but restricted myself to one. Intellectually I think he appreciates that rads make you tired but it doesn't seem to have sunk in. Grouse over. Hope you are not finding having the family to stay too exhausting.

[joan47]

Lovewine, sorry to hear your nails are being damaged by the Herceptin. Is it something that will ameliorate as your body gets used to it. Ditto with the insomnia. At least with the chemo we knew it was only for a short time. Great to have a holiday to look forward to. Although you will almost certainly need your winter woollies at least the east coast tends to get less rain than the rest if the country.

First sign of redness, soreness and itchiness at the weekend so now going bra less. Hospital gave me some different cream to try. How are you doing? Is it tomorrow you finish?

[Wildpurl]

Morning everyone, it's a lovely day here and I hope to get some more washing on the line. I think I will do some housework, too, and probably a bit of gardening. I would quite like to go for a walk later as well.

Hope all appointments go smoothly today!

[Lovewine]

Morning ladies, am waking really early again! Have looked at S/E for herceptin and sleeplessness is one! Have joined Joan in the rubbish nail moan- very flakey and brittle, again another herceptin effect.
My rads are at 9.00 this morn so have to leave earlier for the rush hour traffic, have a good day everyone and good luck Rosie and Joan with your rads too!

[Lovewine]

Hi everyone, not thrilled at dark evenings! Rosie, sounds lovely where you are though with your warm weather, have a good day tomorrow. Yes I will definitely need warm clothing in whitby! Bought some gloves but nothing else caught my eye. Am looking forward to a change of scene and I really love the coast and the wildness of the North Yorkshire moors.
Lisa, hope you are refreshed from your holiday, hope all goes well back at work.
Jackie, hope you are enjoying yourself on yours!

[rosie14]

You will need warm clothes for Whitby Lovewine I am glad you are planning another break. It will be good to
have something to look forward to after radiotherapy.
Cassie you will love the Eden Project I have taken many a school trip there. They put on some really good workshops.
Glad your meal turned out well Wildpurl and the fireworks didn't disappoint you.
Kirstie I,didn't have much swelling on the front before the inflation but I did on the left side due to a build up of fluid that needed aspirating. This happened for about 5 weeks I had to have the fluid drawn off! If you are worried contact your cancer nurse. I wouldn't think it is due to overuse of your arms. Hope this helps.
Glad you enjoyed your night out last night!
Joan our clocks,went back,an hour too we ate our lunch today at 12.00 noon!!!!
Joan Tomb of the Kings is an ancient burial site not,actually for kings but rich aristocrats. We didn't go today because at the time it was very warm it's gone cloudy now but come home to have a rest and prepare tea. We have to eat earlier because of the children. Hope you got your ironing done!

[joan47]

Most annoying, interrupted in the middle of post and lost the most recent. So apologies to everyone I have missed.

[joan47]

Kirstie, glad you enjoyed your evening even though you had to pass on the clubbing.

Wildpurl, sounds as if you deserve that rest. Have a lovely week off. Have you got anything special planned? Is your hair normally quite curly or is this the effect of chemo. I got fed up with people telling me my hair would come in curly but so far it is dead straight and very soft. Now people keep wanting to touch it- and granddaughter and husband do. I feel a bit like a dog.
Cassie, I hope you have a lovely time in Cornwall. How thoughtful of your daughter to arrange it all for you.

Rosie, at least your husband knows how to cook roast chicken. Mine wouldn't have a clue. Although my eldest daughter bought him a basic cookery book at Christmas it remains unopened. I hope you have a lovely relaxing day with your family. What is the Tomb of the Kings you are going to see? Good that you have a break from the bus tomorrow and will be able to spend the rest of the day with your family.

Tulamo, how frustrating about the delay on your injection. Hope the bruise was a one off, nurses do seem to vary in the skill at giving injections (and taking blood).

[joan47]

Morning ladies, sounds as if we all remembered the clocks went back last night, at least in the UK, although our body clocks didn't. I thought I'd be awake in the small hours because came back from a fascinating study day on David Hockney, fell asleep on the sofa for two hours and then decided I had to go to bed at 10, even though it would be 9 new time. But although I woke up several times made it to 6 before giving up and putting the light on. Managed to finish Rose Tremains historical novel Restoration and buy the sequel (hooray for Kindle) before husband stirred. (Anyone else a fan of this author?). This morning have done a couple of hours gardening (badly needed) and it is still only 11. Knackered though so retired to sofa to recuperate and catch up on replying to posts, which is will send separately. This afternoon must do some ironing. Only good thing about that is chance to catch up on some TV in the day without feeling guilty.

Hope you all enjoy the day -

[Kirstie77]

Morning ladies

I hope everyone is doing well today, I had a fab time at the pub but was very sensible and came home afterwards was lovely to be out out !

Going to look for a new dining table today for Christmas I hope the credit card is feeling warm !

Rosie just a quick question if you don't mind, my chest is quite swollen, I haven't had any saline injected yet but I have doubled in size since they put them in, did yours do this, it's no more uncomfortable than usual they just seem swollen could it be that I am using my arms too much ?

[Wildpurl]

Good morning everyone, what a lot of lovely plans for time away and days out! So glad your family have arrived safely yesterday rosie and that you have some nice things planned for today.
Our evening went well yesterday, the food turned out well and the fireworks were fabulous as usual. OH and I are both exhausted today, though, and as we don't have to work next week we are planning a rest day, with maybe a short walk later.
Tulamo, glad you are beginning to feel more normal now, as for hair I was the same as you, cold cap and kept a lot of hair but had thin patches. It's about 3 months now since the end of my chemo and my hair has thickened and looks normal, although it is still curly and shorter than I like to have it. So by Christmas I think your hair is likely to have thickened too.

[Cassie86]

Hi Ladies,

I was up an hour earlier than intended too, its really difficult to break a sleeping cycle, never mind we will have an extra hour to get ready for our trip and to reach Paddington Station, I really cannot run with a suitcase these days, even a wheeley one.

We have booked tickets for the Eden project, we will be having diner there, my lovely daughter has arranged everything, train tickets & hotel booking, so hopefully I can just sit back and relax, we are due back late Tuesday eve ready for work on Weds.

I agee with the comments the Versialles Palace is well worth a trip, I have not been for 25 years, but remember it is very stunning and the gardens are exquisite, I think another trip is due.

I hope the weather is not too wet while we are away in St Austell X Cassie

[Lovewine]

Morning everyone, yes I am awake again at 5.00 a.m how annoying!
Rosie, good your family arrived early , have a lovely day today, roast chicken sounds nice , even if D/H uses barbecue tongs and creates a big mess!!
We hope to go up to robinhoods bay near Whitby for a few days week after next so think I may pop into town and buy some gloves and warm clothes as I think I may well need them in north yorks!
Tulamo, I am the soft touch in my household with the biscuits and I also have 2 collies drooling at my feet as we speak! Sounds like you are recovering well from chemo, by Christmas you will look very glamorous with white teeth and lots of hair! Do you have herceptin at chemo unit? I have had first two there, but following ones I am having by specialist nurse in my home..can choose either so will see how it goes! I have a bruise too this time, didn't hurt when needle went in but I do find it's quite uncomfortable as the drug goes in after a few mins! Certainly won't complain as we are very lucky to have this drug as a lot of countries don't fund it.
Anyway have a lovely Sunday everyone, Tij enjoy Paris- I heartily recommend too palace of versaille! Wild purl, hope your firework evening was enjoyable and you enjoyed your lovely meal!
Kirstie, hope your head isn't too sore after the pub last night- at least an extra hour in bed to get over it!
Joan, good luck for another week of rads!
Cassie, enjoy your Cornish break!

[rosie14]

The family arrived 20 mins early our dog was so excited to see them her legs splayed out on the tiled floor as she rushed around They haven't been for 2 years but she remembered them!
We are going to have a relaxing day today we will go,the Tomb of the Kings where the children can run about and explore the old ruins. Then we are cooking roast chicken tonight. I expect DH will take charge so look out kitchen and I just know he will use the BBQ tongues to turn the potatoes over!
Lovewine I bet your friend was so relieved we had all hoped that our tests would prove to be a non life threatening reason! I think,we have all changed emotionally and definitely physically it's how we cope with it. When people,say how,well we look we need to give ourselves a pat on the back we all,know,it's takes so much courage and determination.
Tulmano glad you are on the up and hope you dont suffer any S/E from the herceptin.!
Your lashes and brows will come back very quickly I have had my eyebrows waxed twice already! They will definitely be here for Christmas.
Wildpurl,hope your meal,was successful and you enjoyed the fireworks. We had a thunder storm last night just after the family had arrived. We could see the lightening on the way to the airport around the hills. We had just got into the restaurant with them and it kicked off overhead and the rain poured and the roof leaked, not over our table thank goodness. By the time we left half an hour later it was all over.
DH is taking me to Nicosia tomorrow for radiotherapy as we are going on the Pirate ship tomorrow from Paphos. The family are going to catch a bus to the harbour we don't want to take them all the way with us tomorrow at 6 in the morning!
I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday.

[tulamo]

Wow everyone seems to be super busy this weekend !

Rosie hope your family arrive safely and you have a great week.

Tlj your Paris trip sounds fab I went there many many years ago I think its one of those places that exceeds your expectations the atmosphere is wonderful  and the sightseeing so exciting. I felt the same when I went to Venice .

I would agree Versailles is a must see if you can manage it though it really needs at least a full day to do it justice. A good excuse to return there soon perhaps !

Lovewine where did all that energy come from ? I had my first "stand alone" herceptin yesterday, of course they managed to make the prescription out for the wrong hospital and then had to bring it over in a taxi so my appointment was put back an hour but at least I got it. I also got a huge bruise on my thigh at the injection site which I havent had the last 2 times. Can't say I've noticed any side effects so far hopefully it stays that way as I have to have next one the day we go on holiday.

My collies also live in hope whenever there's biscuits etc around though they tend to target OH more when he's around they obviously see him as a softer target !

I have one horse as well as the two donks, am looking forward to starting riding again now I am feeling so much better, at last my mouth seems to be improving and energy levels rising.

I cold capped and have quite a lot of hair though its quite thin on top and feels very straw like. I have coloured it twice since starting chemo in June, used Holland and Barratts vegetable based colur which has been fine . I have noticed my eyelashes are starting to grow back though my right eyebrow seems to be drifting away.

Went to dentist this week for checkup apparently my teeth and gums have come through unscathed which is a relief. Decided to have my teeth whitened just hoping by christmas will have eyelashes white teeth and my hair thickening up.

Wildpurl I think your food sounds amazing even though I dont eat meat I shoved a shop bought pizza in the oven tonight, makes me feel quite inadequate I keep telling myself one day I will make more of an effort but I'm not holding my breath.

Hope everyone on holiday has a good time and those having treatments this week  are ok.

Must try and get some sleep.

[Lovewine]

You must be so excited Rosie, have a lovely time with them!
I have just had a visit from an old friend of mine, she had a scare last week and was recalled for a mammogram as a mass was spotted, fortunately after many tests which we are sadly all too familiar with it appears to be calcifications-she did say she had a very small insight on what I was going through and was in awe of how we ladies have just got on with it- like we have a choice!! She did say that I was still " the same old wendy" and hadn't changed, was quite surprised as I thought I had!