December 2017 Chemo Starters

[Jencat]

Unicornmummy, I'm from the Oct thread and also TN. I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read that your bc has returned again and that I'm thinking of you xx

[Cathsin]

So sorry to hear that unicorngirlmummy I really feel for you x

[Unicorngirlmummy]

Thank you for all of your kind messages xx

Unfortunately I don’t have good news 😔 The surgeon looked at it & said he thought it was a local recurrence. He’s booked me in for surgery on Friday. (My birthday). I’m beyond deflated. It came back after 3 months last time, and less than 2 months this time. I’ve lost my hair, eyelashes, covered in scars from surgery, 2 picc scars. He’s hoping it’ll be third time lucky 🤞

I’m sorry to be so gloomy, I know it’s scary to read when you’re scared about a recurrence anyway. Mine is metaplastic TN so I knew it was aggressive. Xx

[Karebear]

I get my first heceptin injection next week as well.
Its going to be along day 6 hours in the chair.

[KirstyH]

Oh glad to hear you now have your date and surgery plan! Good when things move quickly. Yeah I think they always need to test to sentinel nodes just in case, to make sure they are clear even though appear normal on scans. I will have my node biopsy results by Thursday morning, to see if the original affected one is still active or not 🙈 and reaults of the other 6 normal looking ones that they removed as well, im terrified of results.

Good luck with the herceptin and with surgery 😘 x

[Cathsin]

Sam how was he heceptin I have my first one next week x

[SamH87]

Kirsty - I met with my surgeon yesterday and I’m in next Tuesday for a WLE and lymph node removal — they said they take some of the sentenial nodes just to test?? They don’t show as affected on the scans but I’m guessing this is just precautionary?
Just having my first Herceptin on its own as we speak!! Eeeek! X

[SamH87]

Thinking of you today Unicorngirlmummy - hope it all goes ok xx

[Cathsin]

Unicorngirlmummy hope it goes ok for you today . Thinking of you x

[Dramaminx]

Unicorngirlmummy 🦄 we’ve got your back 💪🏼 Sending you strength to get you through today xx

[runawaygirl248]

Thinking of you today Unicorngirlmummy, hope all goes well ❤❤ xx

[Shi]

Unicorngirlmummy ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️For tomorrow 👭👭👭💕💕💕✨✨✨Shi 😘😘😘😘

[KirstyH]

Oh unicorngirlmummy the sinking feeling is horrible, keeping everything crossed for you that it is nothing sinister, will be thinking of you and let us know how you get on xx

[Dramaminx]

Unicornmummy - ugh, I know that sinking feeling all too well and it won’t shift until you get some answers, hopefully tomorrow. It’s so deflating when you feel like you are doing everything you can and then something unexpected crops up. Fingers crossed it’s nothing but I always try to reassure myself by saying, whatever it is, there will be a plan. Let us know how you get on xx

[Shi]

Unicorngirlmummy ❤️❤️ Sending you lots of 💕💕💕✨✨✨👭👭👭please try and keep calm, I think we are all on high alert on everything and it’s only natural to think 😳😳you have kept an eye on it and doing right thing getting it checked out, think another lady on another thread had something similar and it was a cyst that they drained off. Love you amazing 💪lady 💕💕✨✨Shi xx

[Unicorngirlmummy]

Karebear, just being there for her is helping her. You can’t feel guilty for finishing your chemo. You’ve been in her shoes, only very recently, so seeing how you are getting stronger will help her see there is light at the end of the tunnel. As dramaminx says, it really helps to talk to someone who knows exactly what they’re going through/feeling.

I’ve developed a small protruding purple lump about an inch below my mastectomy scar about 10 days ago. I’ve got an appointment in breast clinic on Tuesday. I’ve got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sorry to be so gloomy.

I hope everyone else is ok xx

[Dramaminx]

Karebear you are helping her without even knowing. When you are going through treatment, seeing someone come out the other side, seeing their hair grow back, it’s all something to aspire to. I have a school mum friend who is a year ahead of me in all this and we go for dog walks together (I don’t even have a dog!) and she makes me feel so uplifted because if I’m feeling something she’s already been there and we can talk really openly about how we feel with someone that really understands. She says she gets as much out of it as I do. Don’t feel guilty about having finished chemo xx

[Anniej]

Hi Karebear, congrats on finishing your chemo. I didn't get to finish mine, but managed four out of six. My poor body was quite intolerant of both the chemo and the Hickman line I had inserted. I met a number of ladies in the same position as myself, and I think it's important to reassure your friend that we are all individuals and our bodies respond differently. My Onco was very reassuring and said four cycles was enough, and that my body was obviously responding to treatment. He also reduced my dosage so that I managed four, although I rather think I staggered over that finishing line! 😱  He talked about the quality of life, and not exhausting the body so that I was ready for my rads. I've just had my first mammogram and the primary site looks ok. 

I attended a Maggie's centre all the way through, and took support from them, my lovely chemo nurse and my rads nurse. Is there any professional advice available for your friend? Don't forget the super lot here on the help line. They do a great job and no doubt have plenty of different cases to recount. In the meantime, a big hug to you both. Good luck and best wishes for future treatments. You know it's worth it!  X

[Karebear]

Do any of the  ladies feel a bit guilty finishing chemo i know i do

I have a friend i have met though chemo is on chemo 4 and is struggling how do i help?? 

Xx

[Unicorngirlmummy]

Sorry to hear you need another chemo Camilla, very frustrating, especially when you thought you’d finished 😕

Well done Kirsty. The hospital I had my surgery gave out little heart shaped pillows, they’re great aren’t they! They really do help.

I hope everyone is ok xx

[rabbit28]

Hi Kirsty, well done on your first op and good luck for the second one.

Camilla sorry to hear you've got to have another chemo. I'm like you behind everyone else, had my penultimate chemo yesterday, it's been a long road since I started at the beginning of December.

Hope everyone else is ok. xx

[KirstyH]

We definitely need some sunshine! Its miserable here xx

[KirstyH]

Oh camilla its rubbish isnt it, well if its makes you less green lol I still have my main op next week for mastectomy with reconstruction. Yesterday was the sentinel lymph node biopay op, so ill need to do it all.over again. Just think its only another few weeks, then into op for you, you can do it 💪
The pillow is great! It def made me sleep better without worrying about bashing the wound under my arm

Glad your getting port out today cathsin, another tick xx

[Camilla9]

Well I'm turning green, Kirsty, with envy that ur op is over while I have another chemo to come. I so thought I was having the op next I already have my pillow!

Pleased you're home and it's all behind you. You, too Cathsin, great you're finally out of hospital.

Now all we need is the sun to shine!

[Cathsin]

Glad your op went well Kirsty thanks for the pillow tip I will look at that . Just off now to have my Hickman line removed another milestone to be ticked off x

[KirstyH]

So I didnt turn blue 🙊😂 just a slight grey tinge lol and bright blue pee 🙈 that's first op done, wasnt as bad as I thought and home after it last night. I had ordered a heart shape pillow from the charity Jen's friends and id really recommend as had had it under my arm simce got home and slept with it undet arm too which gives great protection to the area 🙂

How is everyone doing?

Sam have you met your surgeon yet for plans? Xx

[Cathsin]

Camilla it must be frustrating as we pshyc ourselves up to milestones don't we x
Latest update from me just got home after a neuts upturn to 4.2 today which is good as that means I can keep my appt to have my Hickman line removed tomorrow

Hope you all are doing ok x

[Camilla9]

My Onc turns out to be on holiday. A nurse from the chemo unit phoned today and gave me April 25th for my extra chemo. She cldnt tell me why, in my case, but said it was common for people to have extra cycles and that some had 4 extra.

I know it's for my own good but I'm disappointed all the same. It's such a long session too - 7 hrs. 

Husband away golfing in Portugal too, as he thought my chemo was over.

Moan over, there's worse off than me!

[SamH87]

Oh no Cathsin - sorry to hear you are still in hospital although I will say if you do have a blood transfusion you should feel so much better Afterwards! I had one a couple of weeks ago and found my final round of side effects to be so much more manageable! I’d got used to seeing my pale face in the mirror so it was a shock to see red cheeks! I hadn’t realised quite how aneamic I’d become!!

Sorry to hear they sprung that on your Camilla - have they said why?

I’m definitely with you on the Baby steps Karebear! I’m a few days ahead of you in the cycle but can totally relate with the goals! I’m now setting myself small walking goals as my fitness is now at rock bottom!!

Xx

[Karebear]

One week into to last chemo treatment
So am going to go for small walks and
am going to try and set myself a new goal every day
1st one is when I have my breakfast I've to get a shower and get ready
No more Staying in PJS
Baby steps
Xx

1st

[WhyteFawn]

Hi Ladies 

How are you all? Great to see you getting over that finish line.

Cathsid sorry to see you are stuck in hospital. At least you havev your own room, i was on a ward when I was in and it was just so noisy. They told me that if my bloods would have dropped any lower then they would have given me a transfusion. 

Camilla that must have been a shock to find out you had another chemo like that. Have they said why yet?

Keep your heads up girls. Not long to go now, you can do it 

Cassie x

[Cathsin]

Camilla how awful what s blow so disappointing hope they give you a good reason .
Kirsty still in hospital neuts went to 0.3 today a small increase but got to have a blood transfusion apparently while I am here . No wonder I have been shattered . Not sure this 60 year old body can take much more but don't worry I am not giving up the fight of this bastard cancer. It has picked on the wrong woman x

[KirstyH]

Oh no Camilla 😞 that is rubbish having that sprung on you without any warning! I wonder why the have decided that when you havent had any other checks to give them reason. Its annoying when the goal posts move

How are you cathsin? are you home yet or still in hospital? xx

[Camilla9]

Am gutted everybody.

Have had 6th chemo and have been trying to org an appt with the breast surgeon re my op and been perplexed as to why one not forthcoming, when today, had a call from BC nurse to say I have to have another chemo.

When I left the chemo unit last Weds, they did not give me bloods and next chemo dates just said my 1st of 18 thigh herceptin inj wld start in 3 wks. They obv didn't know.

I have not had any recent tests or scans on which this dec cld be based. Have asked that someone from Onc dept phones me. 

So disappointed. 

[Unicorngirlmummy]

Dramaminx, I lost my hair last year & usedthe lee Stafford products. As you say, it makes you feel you’re doing something to aid the growth!! It’s also lovely to use products again after months of being a baldy!

Runaway girl, it’s very disheartening when the finish line moves. As dramaminx said though, get this last bit done & you can start to move forward. Radiotherapy is so, so much easier than chemo. It’s a pain going every day & you might feel a bit tender but compared to chemo it’s a breeze!! They say to drink loads & I found that helped, it’s also fab for your complexion with all that water!!

Karebear, that’s very sad 😔

I hope everyone is ok xx

[Dramaminx]

Runawaygirl you moan as much as you like, it’s totally allowed. I was giving the bell evils when I went to collect my next lot of chemo last week as I didn’t get to ring it as I only did six of my eight. I hope to get my hands on it at some point!

Karebear - palliative is a scary word but I was speaking to a 40 year old who has the palliative box ticked and her attitude was it just means they can’t cure her cancer but they are still treating it. It also made me think of other diseases such as MS or Parkinson’s. They can’t be cured but they can be treated. I guess I have learned that I have to look at things differently if I don’t want to be stressed out and anxious the whole time.

Cathsin - hope you are home soon and this is your last stay at Casa NHS now your chemo is finishing!

Xx

[runawaygirl248]

Cathsin - hope your neuts start coming back up and you can escape the ward and go home!!

[runawaygirl248]

Karebear - sorry to hear of your news 😕 hope you are OK xx

Dramaminx - sorry to hear that you have further chemo to go through that must have been a blow! You sound very strong though and we ladies are all hear to help you as much as we can.

I had a moan this morning but was having a bit of an off day. I know 1 additional week is nothing in the grand scheme of things I was just moaning as Ive had to move the finishing line a little farther away 😊 Had my planning scan and as I said I wasnt comfortable in having to hold my breath for 25 seconds each time to protect the heart, the radiographer said other arrangement can be made to protect the heart i.e. lead lined cover. My radiotherapy will start on the 24th April - I also saw the bell to ring at the end of treatment in the radiotherapy waiting lounge so am going to count down the days to ringing that bell now!!

[Cathsin]

So sad Karebear great words though x

[Karebear]

I lady who was on the ward with me is now palliative care I am devastated

BUT
I think these words are made for us



I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Keep strong xx

[Dramaminx]

Unicorngirlmummy - I thought I’d got away with keeping my eyelashes too but then they fell out a few weeks later. I had one on my bottom row and three on the top! False eyelashes were a disaster too, I can’t help feeling I look like a drag act! They are coming through well now but are only about 2mm long so can’t get the mascara on them. I have been using the GOSH lash growth serum from Superdrug £14.99. I don’t know if it makes any difference but I feel like I’m doing something. I’m also using the Lee Stafford hair growth products, currently 3 for 2 in Boots. My eyebrows went then came back suddenly with a vengeance- had to get them threaded last week for the first time in six months - happy days! Xxx

[Dramaminx]

Runawaygirl - I know how frustrating it is, you have a date in your head, something to aim for and then it changes. I thought I’d be back at work in June with reconstructed breasts and a pixie crop but instead I’ve got one boob and just started another six months of chemo then radio taking me up to Christmas! Like you, this is a preventative belt and braces approach to give us the best chance. It doesn’t help that you’re feeling totally wiped out now after all your treatment but I’ve had radio before and I promise you it is a walk in the park compared to chemo. When I felt disheartened about having to go through more chemo I tried to turn it around and imagine how I would feel if they had said I’m sorry we have no more treatment to give you. I’d be thinking, i’d Do anything to make this go away. You will be amazed how much better you are going to start feeling day by day, I know it’s hard to imagine now, but you will. Get this last bit done and then you can get on with your life xxx

[Cathsin]

Ward round today neuts dropped to 0.3 yesterday they kept that quiet

[Cathsin]

Karebear I can relate to your tears just an emotional time for us all isn't it
Runwaygirl I suppose it's belt and braces for you should be worth the week in the end
Thanks for all your support . I now have s bad case of conjunctivitis which will probably see off the last of my eyelashes .

Still here in hospital got a 36.6 this morning so here is hoping there will be more today . it's the neuts levels now as well that bed to hit the magic 1

[runawaygirl248]

Cathsin - hope you are starting to feel better and that your temperature is getting under control.

I have posted this elsewhere too on the forum but I had a meeting with my Oncologist yesterday and found out that I will be having 3 weeks of radiotherapy as I was originally told back at diagnosis but an additional booster week has been sprung on me which targets the actual tumour site rather than the whole breast due to me being under the age of 50...Im 39. My Oncologist said it is common practice for younger ladies to have booster sessions. To be honest Im feeling a bit peed off as I feel the finishing line has slipped away again, I know its only by an additional week but still its like something else sprung on me at the last minute! My tumour was highly ER+ (score 8/8), grade 3, 16.5mm with excellwnt clearance margins and a small micromet (0.66mm) in the removed SLN.

I had my Planning meeting later today and because tumour was in the left breast, I will be taught the breath holding technique. Am a little concerned after reading some peoples comments that some ladies are having to hold their breath for up to 20 seconds and with a machine?? My Onologist said yesterday it would be for around 5-6 seconds! Maybe it is different for everyone?? My treatment is all at St James Hospital, Leeds.

I am only on day 12 of my final chemo cycle 6 so still really feeling the cumulative effects of all the chemo including the tiredness, fatigue, nausea, bad throat, digestive tract and bladder irritation and yet I was told rads due to start 23 April and my body still not feeling uo to it.  I guess I will get definite dates at the Planning meeting today.  It just seems very soon and 2 other ladies on the same cycle dates as me dont have their Radiotherapy meeting until 16 April.  Really dont understand sometimes how they work it all out!

Hope everyone on their last or nearly last cycle of chemo are OK!

😊

[Unicorngirlmummy]

Sorry you’re in hospital again cathsin 😔 I hope you get home very soon.

Karebear, I know exactly what you mean. It can hit you at weird times. You get through treatment like a warrior & then when you look back or talk to someone it hits you.

My last chemo was 7 weeks ago & my eyelashes started falling out more so in the last few weeks 😩 So very annoying!! Other hair is starting to return yet I probably have about 10 bottom eyelashes 🙈🙈

I hope everyone is doing ok xx

[Karebear]

I have started to try and take a small walk each day to build me up for radiotherapy.  met a couple of neighbours they asked me how I was doing  and the crying started it was so embarrassing.

Am not used to feeling so vunerable.

I suppose we have been strong throughout this chemo journey 

[Karebear]

Am sorry to hear some ladies are having a bad time 

Am 1 week into last chemo and I think ive cried more this cycle than when i started chemo 

Xx

[Shi]

Cathsin 😘😘sorry I’ve not been much company on here today for you, I hope they have got your temp under control now. Try and hold your nose to get the food down, just shovel it in to keep your strength up and get your body 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️The infection. You are 💪💪💪💪and you can 💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺🕺through this darling, sending you a bit of Meghan trainor - better when I’m dancing on the jukebox for you 💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[Cathsin]

Shi the food is not great but probably a lot to do with the chemo slime where everything tastes awful as am sure many of us know . Focusing on this is the last one . This is my third hospital stay during chemo and I have bed. In a and each time as well .. getting my money's worth from NHS