I’ve got oncologist on Friday. He was very positive at the last scan. He’s the clinical director so I can’t complain and will absolutely be guided by what he says.
Yes whatever is there is coming out!! Scans show the lump is very isolated from an otherwise healthy breast although the nipple issues and skin thickening do concern me. Dunno how many lymph nodes they’ll want to take. Not long to wait to find out.
This came up on my Facebook and it made me laugh... not that it was remotely funny what we have been through or at the time but I guess we can smile now 😆 we are all still here and kicking its arse so...
No more hospital dashes please!!! 🤞
sorry to read your day is kak, I hope you manage some sleep tonight.......it's rough enough feeling so lousy....but add no sleep to the mix....oh boy!
I have a friend who is triple neg, she's doing ok but does constantly worry, I read up on it for a better understanding, naively I thought breast cancer was one diagnosis....until I had it....then I realised there were different types....does your onco give you much feed back on how it's all going? I mean, if there's not much shrinkage they can still remove it right? Xxxx
Well done to Mini Sar! I think a lot of us are feeling like pap when it’s so quiet you can sense it...
Third day predominantly in bed. Aches are far less severe but I get so dizzy if I stand for more than about 5 seconds. When I’m laid down I’m fine so I’m particularly frustrated.
And it is husband’s birthday today 😕 I only even managed to write his card this morning! He wanted an iPad but changed his mind so he doesn’t have a present 😔
Feel bad for feeling so bad. Went on my triple negative forums to ask about response to chemo with my lump not shrinking much. Less because I’m worried but more because I knew I’d get people telling me they had similar experiences and I’m normal. People keep dying on these forums too. It’s just unfortunate there’s no pattern it’s just the way of my type of cancer. Our recurrence rate is more Barry than others. I’m not down about that it’s random. Sitting in bed watching TV stinks!!
Well done Seaside Sar to your daughter for doing the Race for Life this morning. Georgeous photo of the pair of you too☺. My son is due to run the Race in Taunton next month with a couple of friends.
Glad I'm not the only one to hit low points every now and again. It almost makes me feel normal. I woke up this morning very much on edge/anxious and have ended up taking a full dose today of my meds for anxiety☹. Apart from the upcoming surgery I don't think just passing the 6 month point since diagnosis has helped, especially as there is still so much to go through. And yes, my poor hubby gets the brunt of my meltdowns. It all gets a bit too much sometimes and knowing that things will never be as carefree as they once were doesn't help either. This Barrying bc is💩.
Anyway less of my ranting, today hasn't been too bad. It's stayed dry and me and Dibley had a lovely walk while hubby did some work in the garden.
Enjoy the rest if the day. Love to you all❤❤❤❤
Congrats to your daughter Seasidesar.
I feel like I am back to ‘normal’ at last, 11 days after being ‘dosed ‘. Head is much clearer 🤗
Hi Seaside Sar
Well done to your daughter for running in the race for Life. I have just come home from singing with the Rock Choir for the Llanelli Race for Lifeh in not so sunny Wales. But at least it was dry. Wonderful to see so many people running for a cause so close to our hearts.
It's dry and sunny here today which is a good job because my daughter ran the Race for Life this morning. So proud of her and will admit to feeling a bit choked up when I saw everyone gathering at the start line.
Good to hear the news about your son, Sarah. Massive congrats to him!
Sonia, I hope your rads are all done in time for your trip away. It is frustrating not being able to plan ahead but fingers crossed for you.
Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today, Daisy. I went into super grump and depression mode yesterday evening. Poor hubby as ever got the brunt of it. It's just hard at times facing the reality of what we're going through.
Hope everyone else is having a good day.
Loads of love
I was not trying to emphasis having dark thoughts as such. But to highlight the fact that it's absolutely normal for us to feel anxious sometimes. All the literature talks about it. We and our nearest and dearest can't expect things to be as they were before BC but my aim was to show that we all need to find our new normal whatever that may be. Campaigner, champion, volunteer or just quietly picking up the reins of our life. Like me sailing off on my cruise on Friday, looking forward to it now but still a bit scary as it will be the first time away since my diagnosis. Reading about life after treatment is helping me realise what I am feeling. It's strange to feel a bit abandoned by the nurses and Dr"s after being closely monitored for months. Not that I want to need them or become dependent on their support, but it is taken away very suddenly. Like your safety net has been wiped away.
But obviously I am well and out and about doing stuff, but it is still early days and there is still healing to do.
Afternoon all, just popped in to say huge congratulations to your son Sarah. What a star x Hopefully that has made you feel a bit better.
Nettie is it you and me on for Monday then? I'm not so miserable today but a bit grumpy!
Edinbird sounds like you had a bit of a hard night. Hope you're feeling better.
Rosina, Seaside, Sonia and Deano hope you are all ok and not suffering too much and Maryln hope you are enjoying your weekend off.
MJB glad I'm not the only one having dark thoughts but I suppose it is expected isn't it? Trouble is because I am not doing very much I have too much thinking time. Hopefully it will get better with time.
Ocean hope you are ok and nearly finishing your chemo? Susie hope you are ok. Not long to wait now.
I would love to write a big long post to reply to everyone but I cant remember what has been said and I cant scroll down. Sorry if I have missed anyone out. Its start of the roids tomorrow so at least I will have a healthy glow.
Love to all xx
Implausible, I’m made up for your son. Especially as he thought he hadn’t got it. Well done. 👏👏👏👏👏. Xx
Quick pop in.
Good news about your son's job offer Implausible. Pass on my congrats to him
We've just got back from our walk and it stayed dry🌞. As you can see from the photo Dibley is doing what greyhounds do most of the day, lounge around doing nothing. He enjoyed his walk though🐕.
Well done, congratulations ⭐️ to your son.
Is this the smart guy whose photo you posted in his new gear?
I seem to have severe ‘porridge brain ‘ today 🥴
Just a quick pop in to let you know that my 16yo got that job at Pizza Hut and he is super chuffed!
He had been promised a call back on Thursday to let him know if he had been successful or not, which never came. So he assumed he hadn't got it. But the call came today and he starts next week
Nice to have some good news for once....
not a lot going on here today, not feeling too bad, achy legs. I’m just resting up on the sofa, as weather is awful outside, and enjoying not being in the hospital for the first time in 5 days.
I loved the bell photo Sar, wish we had one on our ward, all the usual ladies weren’t there, so ended giving my good bag to a nurse to share our as I’d only met her that day.
Implausible I had the same conversation
"When I asked my onco how we knew it had worked he said we dont but just hope it has"
he said it’s a mop up, and ill have no more scans. Although the last 48 hrs proved that wrong 😬
I am all tattooed up now, i said they look like black heads 😛 to start in 4/5 weeks, hope it’s sooner as we are off to caravan for 2 weeks beginning of August and don’t want that to be radiotherapy catch up. But hey ho who can plan with BC !!!
Deano, I’m glad your all done and dusted too,
daisydi, just a few days for you too xx
Edinbird, what a night you had,hope you’ve got some rest today and it’s been a little less adventurous.
MJB, I’ve lost track when do you go on your cruise??
Trixielady, how are you holding up??
Marilyn, I hope your enjoying your weekend break from radiotherapy xx
Nettinoo, SusieB, Ocean21, Veronica, Stargazer thinking of you all xx hope I didn’t forget anyone, feel I should have a list by my phone with my chemo brain 💕💕💕
Hi Susie B,
Hope you and Dibley enjoy your walk.
I've just been for a mega long walk after saying I'm taking it easy today but I needed to clear my head. Constant work worries. Meh!
Saw these poppies en route.
At least I didnt get rained on. Back home now for a rest.
Finally read through all the posts from yesterday and this morning. It's like reading a novel sometimes. Feeling the highs and lows of many of you at the moment. We certainly go through it. I've had a busy morning so far, just about to have something to eat, then we're going to take Dibley out for a walk to a local country park with lovely views from the top. Have a good day everyone. I'll catch up sometime, probably Monday the way things are going! Love to you all xxxxx
Good morning you lovely ladies,
I am curled up on the sofa with a fleecy blanket, cup of tea and cinnamon roll. Comfort all the way. I got quite a few hours sleep last night so I'm hoping that will counteract the steroid crash today.
Sounds like you had an eventful night, Edinbird. What a pain. I was getting annoyed with the rain and my cat howling in the early hours but a house alarm would definitely have done my head in. Good luck with the special day. I hope it works out for you - a well deserved treat.
Sarah, you flatterer! Trust me, I was utterly wiped out after chemo 6 and certainly looking worse for wear. As if i need convincing of how my appearance has changed, good old Google photos showed me a helpful reminder of this time in 2013 when my hair was very dark and much fuller, and my brows and lashes were intact. Oh well, after a few more weeks from now I will be keeping an eye on the regrowth and hoping to look like me again. I said to my husband last night that my hair looks like one of those characters out of a horror movie where you're not sure if they are alive or a ghost. He actually agreed with me which made me feel really great!
Rosina, the bunny pic is very cute. Thank you for sharing. Also thanks for the link to Snatam Kaur. Sounds interesting.
I hope everyone else is feeling OK today. The weather here is utterly pants so I'm not planning to do anything other than rest today.
Loads of love
all I did in art therapy yesterday was chat/share.
I now have a new artist (singer ) to share with you .
She is American , her name is Snatam Kaur.
Music is ‘ painting with sounds ‘ , art is ‘painting with colours’ both are healing.
Edinbird sounds like you had an eventful evening!!!! I think you have been amazing.
Good morning warrior women! We survived another night!
I actually managed to get a half decent night's kip last night which makes all the difference. Although my legs still feel like they've been run over by a steamroller, but you can't have everything, right??
I wonder why T has such a weird effect on legs in particular, and not arms? Odd. Anyway, let me catch up.....
First off, I can't find the post now, but which of you was it who was watching Years & Years yesterday or the day before? I caught up with episode 4 last night and oh my goodness!!! What a tearjerker!!! It might be the most depressing TV show I have ever watched, but it is worryingly believable.
Aha , found the post. It was you, Marlyn.
I also had the same talk as you from the doc about how the worst tiredness and soreness from the rads will kick in a week or two after they finish. That's no good! I was hoping for a little reprieve between rads and surgery. There is no let up at all, is there?? He reckons it peaks quick and goes away quick though. So here's hoping.
And I love the sound of the rain too, as long as I'm safely inside and don't need to go out in it
Daisy you sounded so down yesterday, poor you Honestly, I know exactly how you were feeling! I hit exactly the same low spot a couple of days before my last chemo too (the day I went to see Rocketman and had my giant weeping and wailing session). I think it was a mix of so many things. It was supposed to be my "good weekend" yet I still felt so incredibly fatigued, made me wonder if that old energy will ever come back. Then there was a combo of relief that the last session was imminent but also fear of having to go through the horrid side effects yet again. And just knowing that this isn't anywhere near the end of the journey. And the eyelashes and the sore fingernails, and just everything! It really is just all too much at times, isn't it
I honestly don't think that anyone can really understand what a mentally and physically draining experience this all is if they haven't experienced it themselves.
And this kind of thing really isn't helpful at all.... I get exactly the same vague shrugs from my doc too: "When I asked my onco how we knew it had worked he said we dont but just hope it has"
How do they think that is going to put our minds at rest????
But we are all surviving and we WILL all feel so much better a few months down the line, we just gave to grit our teeth and plough on. And give it a year and we will all be comparing our cute pixie hair cuts and renewed eyebrows, and meeting up somewhere for high tea and maybe we might even have the puff to manage a couple of flights of stairs
Seaside, I love your bell photo!!! You look amazing in it, you would think that pic was taken before you started chemo #1 not after chemo #6!!! This fat potato is jealous
Deano, talking of bells, sorry we don't get to see your video but I'm glad it was a good moment for you and we can imagine the ding ding ding
MBJ I did start to read that Peter Harvey article a month or so ago when it was first shared. But I decided it was too early for me to start thinking ahead too much. I definitely intend to do some work around that area though once the bulk of the physical treatment is done. I'm already booked into a 6 week "what now?" course at the Cheltenham Maggies in September/October. And if that doesn't put my head totally where it needs to be, I'll treat myself to some 1 on 1 therapy. I want to be able to get to a point where I don't ruin the rest of my life worrying and panicking about recurrence. I want to be one of those irritatingly inspiring cancer survivors who go on to maximise every second of their new "bonus" lives.... but right now I simply don't have the energy to even think about that!!
Rosina ,love the bunny pic!!!
Edinbird, early start for you today but glad to hear you are feeling better than yesterday, hopefully that is you starting to come out of the chemo side effect woods for the last time, yay!!
Blooming burglar alarm though!!! Hopefully that is you done now as things always go wrong in threes, they say? Dishwasher, boiler, alarm.
Why does this nonsense always happen at the least convenient moment???
I've got to admit that I looked at that "special day" link you put up, saw it was for "young adults" and was worried you hadn't spotted that bit. I know you are a lot younger than most of us in here but I thought that would mean under 25s or something, but it goes all the way up to 40! How cool is that??? I'm very happy now to think that I would have been considered a "young adult" not too horribly long ago I really hope that you get selected! That would be awesome. And 18 months definitely isn't too young for sports. The lady who sits next to me at ice hockey has brought her baby along every week since he was 2 weeks old
So, what has everyone got planned for the weekend?
My main plan is "don't end up back in A and E", anything beyond that will be a bonus
I'm not expecting to be too active, as am still in side effect city, but I might try to do some collage or easy small drawings. Nothing too taxing.
Of course I haven't actually tried getting out of bed yet, and I might find that I'm not up to even that minor level of effort. But fingers crossed.
Big fat love to everyone.
Good Morning Edinbird
This sound a great plan. I really hope they can organise it for you. Hope you have a restful day as planned with no more boiler or alarm catastrophes. X
Morning all xx
Wide awake at nearly 6am but feel a lot better at the moment... hoping that continues! Still going to have a lazy day though.
After a crazy few. As if the confusing scan and nasty T SEs were not bad enough, the boiler people who were recommended couldn’t take any more jobs. Managed to find someone else to come on Monday. Then last night was sat in bed and an alarm starts going off outside. Sit and put up with it for about 10 mins until I think it sounds awful close so try looking out the window. It’s our burglar alarm!!!! The control box had gone dead and triggered it and we couldn’t turn it off!! Husband had had a few gins but had to run around outside to stop the neighbours complaining and try and speak to someone on the alarm number. Turns out we should have been maintaining the alarm (who knew) and it turned itself off after about 20 mins. We cut the power to the whole house and it didn’t stop! I was hobbling around the place looking for the instruction booklet but it didn’t matter since the controller was knackered. So that also needs mending on Monday. Thank goodness it was at about 8pm and no later!
Surprised I’m not tired after that but have managed to sleep ok despite aches and worrying about temperature.
I’m going to do this later - fill in the form and see if I can get a special day. I don’t feel like I deserve it any more than anyone else but I have an idea of something to ask for... since I’ve not seen my nephew for a year I was thinking of asking if they’ll arrange to take us all to his first football match? Is 18 months too early for that? Need to ask my sister. Need to wait for the fixtures to come out on Thursday. We support Norwich but my sister’s partner supports West Ham. Bet the fixtures don’t add up but would be amazing if they did. Need to get it all signed off by the oncologist and that’s Friday so it’s doable. Shouldn’t get excited about something that is completely out of my hands but now I have the idea in my head... let’s see if we can make the magic happen
Busy thread as always. Some uplifting news some not so great.
Sonia28 I am so pleased your scan results were good.
The finishing line is happening to so many of you now well done Seaside Sa, Edinbird and Deano. You are all fantastic, and yes I am really envious of you all being able to complete your course.
Marlyn hope your skin improves.
Suzie B not long to wait now for surgery I am sure you will find it ok after dealing with chemo.
Daisydi I agree that this BC lark will never be over, how can it be. I read the article by Dr Peter Harvey After Treatment finishes -then what again last night in bed. He avoids phrases like 'coming to terms with' instead talks about living with uncertainty. He also suggests that when treatment cones to an end is when our fears at at their worst. I know that when I first started on my treatment plan I needed all my mental strength to cope with the physical assaults of two surgeries in three weeks. Then chemo 1 and then the dreaded sepsis. All of these stresses almost helped me live in the moment as each one was hard to get through as you all know. Now I have less physical issues to deal with my mind can work like a little b***er. I agree Daisydi and Marlyn we will never be the same women again but again to quote Peter Harvey we need to regain mastery and control which he sees as the alternative to getting back to normal. I am trying to work on that one 🤔.
To end on a positive note I love the Garden photos Rosina so beautiful. Also the video was epic.
Implausible I am sure you will find Letrozole a breeze after all you have dealt with, and your boy looks fantastic.
Have a good evening everyone.xxxxxxx Husband just asked usual question HOW LONG WILL TEA BE???
Deano so pleased for you. Yes Monday will be my last one. Im getting emotional just thinking about it. x
I’m with you honey all the way you are not alone personally just get it over with I didn’t fully recover to be honest for this one either- will it be your last one? if so do it and you’ll soon be able to recover ❤️❤️❤️
sorry ladies it won’t let me post my video of my bell ringing but it was emotional and worth it xx
Aar thanks Nettie. I will be ok just having a moment! I would like to ask for a delay but I also want it all over and done with. Im just not good at being sick and because my first surgery was in October this has all been going on far too long for me with one battle after another. Just had another look at my eyelashes and I think its new ones growing through and because Im not putting any mascara on they are growing downwards. Ive bought some clear mascara so will try to train them with that. Might have a go with the teabags though x
PS Lovely photo Seaside Sar. You look great! x
Daisy, you have every right to feel miserable you poor thing. So much discomfort to put up with of course you will be feeling down and anxious. I have used cold tea bags on my eyes before now. Very soothing but don’t be alarmed if your eye area looks stained when you take them off, it does wash off.
You may feel more ready by Monday but if not perhaps asking for a delay might be a good thing. As far as the anxiety, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you aren’t on any medication. Fluoxetine has helped me no end. I intend to get off them as soon as Chemo is over but I know I would not have managed this without medication. I have stayed on the lowest dosage even when encouraged to go a bit higher by gp but I think if I only take the minimum to get me through, the side effects when stopping them should be minimal.
Deano, Big hugs for you and yes let those tears flow. Xxxx
Marlyn, totally get what you mean when people say, you're nearly done/all done now. Far from it! Herceptin, Rads, tabs...not to mention impact on mental health and recovery needed. Feel like such a moaner saying this to family and friends but I know you ladies are on my wavelength. Thank goodness for you lot xxxx
Sarah, your son has done amazingly well to lose all that weight. Looking very trendy in the photo. 😊
Thank you all you lovely ladies for your kind messages. It really helps.
It hasn't sunk in yet that I have no more chemo left. Maybe when I've got through these next few weeks it will feel more real.
Alarm has just gone off to remind me to take injections out of the fridge...reality check.
Deano, hope you're all done by now and back home. Well done for getting past this part and I hope the SEs are bearable over the next couple of weeks. Xx
Daisy, I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment lovely. We're here for you, don't forget. Xx
Sonia, I'm so relieved to hear the shadow on your lung turned out to be clear. Phew! Was so worried for you. Xx
For Daisydi, Sonia28, Deano, Nettinoo, Seasidesar, Edinbird, SusieB, Ocean21, Veronica, , Implausible, MBJ, Stargazer , Trixielady and myself ( apologies if I have forgotten anyone- not intentionally)
She has a great voice.
Well done Deano for your last one. I hope the side effects aren't too bad for you. I am absolutely dreading mine on Monday knowing what joys it brings. I have been for bloods today and am secretly hoping it needs delaying as I still havent got over the last one yet.
Sonia so glad your scans were clear. That's another worry over for you.
I am feeling totally miserable knowing what the next couple of weeks will bring but I will just have to get on with it I suppose. I just hope this chemo does its job. When I asked my onco how we knew it had worked he said we dont but just hope it has. I dont think I could go through this again but having 4 positive lymph nodes and the prospect of radiotherapy to my neck I am now worrying for England! Dont know how to get over this fear and know I have to be positive but am finding it very hard, especially when people say its nearly over. It will never be over for me. My eyes are constantly watering as what lashes I have got left seem to be growing downwards right into my eyes and my eyelids are swollen. My toes and feet really hurt as do my finger nails. Sorry for the miserable post but it is really getting to me at the moment.
Despite all that we're going through we can still manage a bit of humour 😄. Think my husband might balk at a bit if I asked my onc for seduction. I blame spelling errors on predictive text.. It did make me laugh. xx
Deano, I asked my onco for a T reduction and he said no, maybe if I had asked for seduction I might have got somewhere!!!
(Actually, looking at the state of me today, probably not )
Sonia great news about the scan results. Over the moon for you.
And Nettie, I agree, I think the totally carefree old me has been and gone. But I'm hoping I can at least get my hair and some energy back eventually!
I think you are right about the sheer accumulation of chemo. I have been blaming T for making me feel so awful but 6 FEC might well have been just as bad. It definitely builds up.
Deano....seduction.....lol.....that made me titter......I did wonder what doctor prescribed that....xxxx
Thanks for the update Sonia, you know how we worry about one another....gosh we're an expensive lot! Xxxx
Just sat and have about 40 mins left thank god im sat trying not to cry and will spill at the end - I’m sure you will be fine on T but remember if not have s eduction as this has helped me
thanks to everyone for your kind words and I’ll try and post my bell ringing xx