thought i’d Update you all quickly before my next scan.
So I’ve had £1000 worth of tests
2 ct scans ultra sound on leg, echo on heart and chest X-ray to find out it all clear, just chemo related. Shadow on lung cane up as nothing on the big Ct scan so all good 🤗
just waiting to go for my radiotherapy ct scan now, will catch up with you all
later 💕💕💕love you all
Final chemo session☺. Well done but as you say, it can be very emotional. After my 4th and final one I felt rather deflated but I've still got the joy of at least two more after surgery☹. My fault for volunteering for a trial. At least you haven't got too long to wait for surgery. Mine was supposed to have been 5 to 6 weeks after chemo but I was in such a state when I saw the surgeon and had pre op checks I think she thought it best to wait a while. My heart was racing so much I had an ECG and my blood pressure was high to say the least. I've been on meds for anxiety during the past 3 weeks or so and things are a lot better and I feel a bit more relaxed about next week. It's will have been a 9 week wait between chemo and surgery. I'm the same as you and having lumpectomy and full node clearance. Have that cry if you want😭😭😭. Better out than in. Take care and ring that bell just as loud as you want🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔 xxxxxx
oh yes, 4 cycles of fec left me feeling completely grotty.....there are no other words....I think The fluttery heart had me worried the most...still get the palpitations now....fleetingly.....oh...and the yellow eyeballs...I keep asking if my liver is ok...and the oncologist seems happy.....I just wish the yellow would go...
all ok at rads today, they gave me gel and dressings......got 9 sessions left, they said the tiredness will kick in about 2 weeks post rads......I said ....are you kidding?? I'm still fatigued from chemo.....god help me after rads then!
Its funny you say about feeling faint at bloods.....I was the same on wed....the nurse couldn't get anything out of one arm so stabbed around my right arm saying " sharp scratch " bloody sharp scratch my bum!! I thought I was going to flake out and normally I'm pretty good ....
im actually enjoying the rain at the mo but only because I don't have to go anywhere......I love listening to it...all cosy indoors watching " years and years" xxx
Implausible, what you said about people wanting their old friend back really struck a chord with me. My husband keeps saying things like “I can’t wait to get my old wife back” and “it won’t be long before you are back to your normal self”. I don’t have the heart to say that the “old me” is probably gone forever. I hope the “new me”will still be acceptable to my family and friends but I reckon it’s pretty impossible for all this barryness to not have changed me and I’m not talking about the scars, wonky boob, loss of nipple etc but something much more profound. I know you will all feel the same.
Deano, I wish we could all come and help you launch that bell out of the window. 😘
I had my blood test nice and early and now it’s the wait for the call or no call! I’m still not feeling great. Temp fine, blood pressure fine, tum fine just feel a bit grot and under the weather, no energy so no benefit to having an extra week this time. I’m wondering if it’s just the effect of 4 X FEC accumulating inside me, in which case I’m not looking forward to what no. 5 will do. Marlyn, was this how you felt after 4 FEC? This barrier gel, why isn’t it just prescribed for everyone as a matter of course? cost I suppose. It’s obviously not provided until the damage has been done.
It took a couple of goes to get my blood this morning and I came over a bit faint which is not like me at all. Then took my temp when I got home and it was 35.3 so ended up piling layers on and a woolly hat and thick socks to bring it up again. I’m downing plenty of water Imp/Sarah to see if that makes a difference.
Persistent rain isn’t helping either. Trying to get the dogs out for a wee is a nightmare for a start.
Edinbird and Implausible hope those awful aches b*gger off asap.
Love you all. Xxx
Morning you lovely strong lot
And that includes those of you who probably don't feel too strong right now but you are anyway, so ner.
Deano best of luck today!!! Another one of us across the finishing line, hooray! Well, almost, as you point out, you still have the side effects of the last dose to get through. Mine are kicking in today, fun fun fun. But somehow knowing what to expect and that it is the last time I have to feel like this, does make it easier. A bit.
Look forward to seeing your bell video if you can find a way to share it with us, otherwise we will just have to use our imaginations
Nettie.... you did make me blush a little but I don't think it is entirely deserved. I certainly don't feel like an amazing mum. I tried my best to help him for years but it wasn't until he actually started to want to help himself that we started making progress. At least I was there to support him at that point I guess. But how I wish I could have prevented him getting to such a low point in the first place
Stuff that is coming out in his counselling sessions goes a long way to explain things though. There was stuff going on I could never have figured out.
Anyway, all is heading in a great direction now and he is a whole different person in every respect.
Good luck with bloods today and drink lots of water to keep those headaches at bay x
Edinbird, thanks for the update. I had to Google WLE as I haven't come across that one before. So many acronyms! Seems it is another term for lumpectomy. Your lump is way smaller than mine was (33mm) and if it has flattened then it may still be similar width/diameter across as before but volume wise it will be smaller. Like squashing a bubble. So I'm sure they can whip it out with ease!
The best news is that your lymph nodes have cleared up as they are the scary bit. Anything contained within the breast can be dealt with but we don't want any nasties escaping through the lymphatic system....
I'm still a bit concerned about my lymph nodes. They took 2 out when they did my sentinel node biopsy and one had "small traces" of cancer. They haven't recommended a node clearance, reckoning that chemo and rads will do the job. But I've not been offered any scans so I have no idea how I will be sure it has "worked". Just have to trust the docs I guess?
And good luck with the boiler. My house is the same. Always something on the blink! I still haven't managed to get our central heating thermostat working properly since it had its paddy 3 weeks ago and turned the house into a sauna. Now I'm just turning the central heating off at the boiler and switching it on manually for an hour if we hit a cold spell. It will probably save me money that way as it won't come on by itself when we don't really need it..... but I guess I ought to get it fixed before next winter....
Hope the leg aches aren't too horrid today. Mine seem to be worst at night. The trick during the day seems to be move around a bit, but not too much. No marathons! And as you and Rosina said, distractions....
Do you have a date for your surgery yet? Sorry you might have said, I lose track. Brain is so muddly nowadays!!
Rosina, up and baking early this morning? Definitely a sign that you are back in the land of the living post T bashing go you! Send us a slice of that banana bread!!!
Actually, don't bother right now, my taste buds are all over the place! When I went to the outlet village with my son on Wednesday we visited the Lindt choc shop and treated ourselves to a few Lindt balls from the pic n mix there at huge expense. I have only eaten 2 of mine as they taste horrid all of a sudden!!! Usually they are heavenly. Stupid chemo still, I guess my waistline will benefit
(At least temporarily, I plan to eat them once they taste good again )
Enjoy art therapy. You know I am eternally jealous I really hope that we do all get to meet up face to face one day, it might be quite an emotional gathering!
Totally agree with your advice to Deano about the benefits of a jolly good cry. When I had my weepy day last week and went to see Rocketman, I honestly have never cried so hard at a film. But I am pretty sure I was crying much more for me than I was for Elton John! it helped it all come out though and I felt SO much better for it afterwards. Both psychologically and even physically. Less fatigued. My walk home from the cinema was so much easier than my walk there....
We women take on so much. I'm not as spiritually inclined as you, I must admit, with all the chakras and stuff. But I totally agree that what we all need to take out of this BC experience is the need for more self care.... I fully intend to be more selfish going forward, in the best possible way.
And I can't WAIT to get back into the pool! I miss swimming so so much.
Marlyn.... carry on screaming! That's the one. That was such a brilliant movie. I must have seen it a hundred times as a kid as it was always on and my dad seemed to love it. I blame Fenella Fielding
Sorry to hear the frazzling is still happening hope the new barrier gel helps.
The "almost done" thing is weird isn't it. I never know what to say. I know that our friends and family just care about us and want it all to be over and I feel like I am really bursting their bubbles when I launch in with "well, I still have a month of radiotherapy and then more surgery and then 3 years of acid infusions and 10 years of hormone treatment....". I guess they also want their "old" friend back who they can just have fun with and not feel obliged to pity.
I know everyone means well even if they do sometimes say things that unintentionally twang a nerve.
And that's why we are lucky we have each other in this forum group as we are the only ones who really get it!
Right.... I had better get up and dressed. Yet more roofers and builders and glaziers arriving any minute to give more quotes!
They don't want to see me in just a t shirt and pants, bra-less and lopsided
Love to all
Sonia my love, a day from hell indeed! Please let us know how the lung scan goes.....by eck...I often wonder how much more we can take, just when you think you've turned a corner another wee surprise is lurking!!
I wish friends would stop saying well done! I bet your glad your almost done.....almost done? I'll leave it there......I know you all understand how irritating this particular pearl of wisdom is...
i bloody love love you all....now off for some more rainbow beams......I xxxxxxx
lol.....frying tonight!! Carry on screaming....I'm afraid I'm a carry on uber fan! Got every single one in my DVD collection....I know...a bit sad but a carry on film got me through my first few days of each fec cycle...
as for the boob....no improvements, iv booked to have a telephone consultant with gp as chemist has advised a protective gel on prescription....knowing my luck they will call as I'm being beamed up!
well done to your son btw on the weight loss....he has done astoundingly well!
Oh and swimming ( up to 80 laps on some occasions) to deal with tension in back and shoulders.
As I said the body is cleverer than us !!
Taken me half a century to realise it !!!
Deano, when you need to cry , cry .
It needs to come out.
Don’t hold it in.
I have done a lot of holding in over the years.
It leads to blocking.
The body can’t be fooled.
It is so wise and clever.
In my reading a energy blockage at the 4th chakra manifests physically as any one ( or more ) of the following:
disorders of the heart, lungs, thymus, breasts, arms, shortness of breath, sunken chest, circulation problems, asthma, immune system deficiency, tension between shoulder blades, pain in chest.
I had years of tension between the shoulder blades and thought massage every 6 months was the solution.
Interestingly, about prior to my bc diagnosis I had decided that I was worth a monthly full body massage .
The 4th chakra deals with ‘self love ‘ and gentleness and compassion to yourself first.
If bc hadn’t happened to me I would not be reading any of this stuff. 🤪
distraction from the aches and pains of T is the best strategy. I used it too when even walking was too much - I used Netflix and read ( the reading took more effort but I persisted. On /Off sometimes I just dozed or daydreamed.) Support and good wishes from this group also helped me - a lot.
I have just finished making banana bread this morning as I am feeling even better ( 9 days post dose 5 of T).
So Edinbird, hope it is just WLE for you next ( a doddle compared to Chemotherapy).
Who else is in for last chemotherapy today ?
Sending you strength and peace of mind.
Seasidesar, you too have crossed that finish line. 🌼🌼🌼
I have got art Therapy later on today ( after a 2 week break).
It is becoming quite a profound experience for me , too much to type up here but happy to share in person with you when we meet up.
It is definitely influencing my reading:
Hi Edinbird & everyone else
imhabing my last T today and feel quite emotional about it. I saw surgeon wed and my lump had gone to 13mm (half inch) so have booked lumpectomy 10th July and then rads also having full mode clearance as had one swollen lymph node which has shrunk also. It was positive I go back to onc for results of lymph nodes to see if anymore had spread but she said lymph nodes if it had it’ll be whether I have rad on them as well as my breast so this will take me to sept time before I am fully gone - fingers crossed....I was told to take codeine twice a day for aches and pains and it is better than ibrupopen. Well feel I want to cry I’m gonna be a mess today off to get presents and card for staff - I’ve read up on everyone and know some treatments have stopped and I wish and send hugs to you all
I’m gonna ring that bell and launch it through the window today and hoping to video it if I can
❤️ You all and here’s to a **bleep** 2 weeks in T following today xx
Hi all xx
T is kicking my butt for the last time... crazy sore legs right now. Temperature was high overnight but no panic. Just feel very tired.
Boiler is currently turned off at the fuse to stop it whining and had no call back from the recommended plumber... will have to try him again later. Husband has just gone out to the doctors so I’ll probably wait til he’s back as I don’t fancy speaking to anyone when I’m feeling rough.
And the scans... well it’s good news but the sonographer was a really dour Indian lady who told me one thing but the numbers she gave me didn’t add up so with her ‘facts’ and demeanour it left me feeling pretty unsure.
The lymph nodes have responded really well. The lump has changed shape and isn’t getting bigger. And she thinks I’ll just need a WLE but up to the surgeon obviously. But she said the lump has shrunk and it’s 15mm and the consultant said after FEC it had shrunk and was 14mm??!! Hence my confusion and not really wanting to shout it from the rooftops. A good response in the nodes and a change of shape must show it’s dying off surely? I was just hoping for something more definitive and that added up.
Trying not to dwell on it. It’ll be cut out of me soon. Now have extra questions to ask of the surgeon though if one goal was to make the lump smaller to make less impact on me and that hasn’t worked what now? Especially with the rads shrinking things when you don’t have much to start with it is a concern.
Legs actually hurt less whilst I’m distracting myself writing. But I don’t want to keep putting my lump numbers through my brain and coming up with a mess. Only a few days wait until more answers on Tuesday. Lots of love everyone. First to finish full set of chemo but last to get the Barry out of me. At least I still have this set of T knocking the crap out of it as my legs can testify!
Seaside, well done on getting through the barrying chemo and all that cold capping. For you it was worth the pain and discomfort as you still have a lot of your lovely hair remaining. 🙌🏻 Xxx
Sonia, just had a quick look through yesterday’s posts. What a 💩day my darling. So much to cope with, so many tests. It does sound like they are being very thorough though and I suppose that’s a good thing. I hope the scan today will put your mind a rest. We are all with you every step of the way with our virtual arms around you. Xxx
Implausible The photo of your son made me gasp. What an amazing achievement for a lad his age. You must feel so proud that he had the strength of character to lose so much weight. He looks amazing, (even with the “oh god! I don’t want a photograph taken pose”). You are an amazing mum, sorting out the help he needed. Teenage years/school etc can be truly awful and thankfully he is coming out the other side now bless him. How you have coped with all this and bc my love and still kept your sense of humour I have no idea. I know we only see a part of you on here but you really are a wonderful, caring, beautiful soul who always has time for others and I am in total awe. (Bet I’ve made you blush now, sorry, but I needed to tell you that. Xxx
How’s your boiler/heating? Edinbird? Hopefully, it’s something that is easily sorted. In my house I find before we’ve had chance to get one thing sorted another crops up. Pants isn’t it?
My love to you all. Got to get on as early blood test. Yet another headache this morning (must be something to do with sleeping/lying down).
See you all later. Xxxx
Ooof. I've had a long and tiring day, and was going to come on here and whinge about it a bit, but honestly it has been a million times better than most of the rest of you have had to put up with today by the looks of things so I am suddenly counting my blessings, so no complaining from me!
Let me catch up with everyone....
Nettie, I hope the headache went away. I do hate headaches. You just can't think straight with a pounding head.
Rosina, sorry you've been feeling under the weather/fed up. I hope things are picking up now. The sculpture garden looks fantastic! There is one similar near me in the Cotswolds. It is a wonderful place to visit. I love your hubby's reaction to the art
Daisy it is good to hear from you. How are you holding up? I'm ok side effect wise so far, thanks for asking, if the last cycle is anything to go by, my legs will start aching tonight in bed and then by tomorrow I'll feel pretty rotten. At least it is the last time to go through this particular mill
Marlyn, the thought of rads taking all day is rather scary for me as I'm supposed to be working every afternoon Mon-Fri during my rads month to make up my hours for 3 full days equivalent.... Hopefully they won't give me too much work to do!
Sorry to hear that the boobie is still sore did you see any improvement from laying off the oily moisturiser? Hopefully you're not still "frying tonight"?? (which Carry On film was that from??)
And nobody warned me about boob shrinkage! I'm lopsided enough as it is without the biddy one getting any biddier!! This whole cancer treatment nonsense really is the gift that keeps on giving....
I hope tomorrow goes quicker for you, and then there is the blessed weekend reprieve.
Susie lovely flower photos, always appreciated! A gorgeous splash of colour like that always makes me smile.
You have certainly worn Dibley out today!!! I know just how he feels
And yes my son's weight loss was intentional and hard earned. It has taken him just under a year. He was very overweight before (23 stone!) , all put on quite quickly when he went through huge anxiety issues in the second half of secondary school. He has had some tough times. But last summer when he turned 16 he decided he was going to turn his life around, and boy has he! He joined the gym, I paid for personal trainer sessions for him to start with. He has also taken up jiu jitsu. And he has obviously improved his eating habits significantly (although he still isn't a saint , likes the occasional pizza ). He is down to 15.5 stone now and comfortably fits into a standard mens large. I think he would still like to lose another stone or two but he is near enough where he wants to be. I currently weigh more than him which I need to rectify ASAP given he is 3 inches taller and had giant feet!
In some of his new gear from yesterday. He still doesn't know how to pose for a photo
Seaside I had exactly the same experience with my last cold cap (before I gave it up completely). For the first time of use it made me feel sick and gave me a splitting head. I think it was because by then I was so bald so had no barrier from it. The last half hour waiting to be able to take it off seemed to last forever As soon as it came off though the nausea lifted, so hopefully it was the same for you? I was hoping that the theatre cap would get around that problem for you ....
But the main thing, is Ding! Ding! Ding! Well done for getting through your last sesh!!!
Sonia, what a day you have had!!! I'm glad that most of your many, many scans came back with good news but the shadow on the lung must be playing on your mind even though the medical pros seemed fairly relaxed about it. The last thing you need is more to worry about!!!
Really hope that that gets cleared up for you promptly tomorrow. You must be physically and mentally drained
Please do keep us in the loop tomorrow. We all care about you so very much x just think of it as suddenly having a much larger family, all these sisters you never knew you had!
Edinbird.... I know as I had a brief chat with you earlier offline that you have also had a knackering day! Please pop on when you can and let us know how your scans went x
And as for my day, as I said, suddenly it seems a lot better than most, and now I am all comfy tucked up in bed....but it was a bit of a slog as it was happening.
So for ages (since last autumn!) I've been trying to get my roof looked at, gutters replaced, and my jammed rear patio door replaced. I had the usual endless stream of tradesmen ignoring my calls and emails, or saying they would come round and quote but never turning up, etc. Then my diagnosis hit. Then I had all the bathrooms sorted. And so it was only this morning that I decided it was again time to try and get things moving.
Well I don't know why things are so different now to last October but I rang a few people and they all got straight back to me and all wanted to come round to quote this evening! So I had to spend the morning cleaning and tidying to "strange men in the house" levels .
Then I remembered I had booked a movie this afternoon and had left it a bit late so I walked into town at a far quicker pace than usual, with no breaks. Was exhausted by the time I got there and the escalators were out of order. Dragged myself up 3 big flights of stairs, nearly fainted with the effort, then noticed there was a lift I could have used! Doh!
Movie (X-Men Dark Phoenix) was a bit dull and I slept through about 30 minutes of it I hope I didn't snore!!
Then had to leg it home again to be there before the various builders started turning up. One was already outside my door waiting.
So I had to deal with them all till about 8pm.
But at least things are now moving again with project "fix poor neglected house"
I'm so tired now though I could sleep for a week!
Oh.... one bit of good news. My blood test results came back today and I am officially post menopausal! That's exactly what I was hoping to hear as a) it means I somehow slipped gracefully through the menopause without even noticing it, rather than turning into a screaming demon like my mum did through hers no hot flushes or other horrid symptoms. Hooray. And b) it means I now get letrazole not tamoxifen, and the side effects from tamoxifen sounded the worse of the two. So, I'm ok with that.
Ok I think it is now time to sleeeeeeep.
Love to all
Oh Sonia what a horrible day for you. Just want to give you a big hug. This is absolutely never ending hell! Hope tomorrow is better for you and you can get some answers.
Sar hope you have finished and are now at home. Well done on your last chemo x
Thinking of you all
Well I haven’t had the best day, I was in hospital for 11am and got out at 5pm,back tomorrow for 9am appointment, ecg good, ultra sound on leg no blood clots, think it’s just swelling affecting muscle, chest X-ray okay. Ct scan no blood clots but there is. A shadow, so wants to rule out lung cancer 😨 thinks it should be fine but mentioned it several times, also think it could be fluid coming from heart working overtime, so having a echo and another for of ct tomorrow morning all before my radiology scan in the afternoon. So my good week has been taken up by hospital everyday.
I’ve had my melt down, thinking how much more can I take, now hit my big girl pant on and taking it one step at a time!!
Sorry Sar, that your last chemo didn’t go to plan, mine seemed to go on for ever, hope your on your way home now .
love to you all xxx
He now says he is off to find some chicken wire, mirrors and wood to knock up some sculptures of his own and sell them at inflated prices
After another meltdown today,
H1 took me out to garden that I wanted to visit, the Hannah Peshar Sculpture Garden in Surrey :
Hi Seaside Sar
Sorry your last session may be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Waiting for the cold cap timer to go down can seem like eternity at times. Hope you feel better soon. xxx
Just a quick check in ftom the oncology suite. It has been a long day already and I'm not done yet. Looks like my last session is going to be one to remember. I have a splitting headache and feel very sick so I can't wait to finish. Paxman machine says 20 mins to go. Good job as I am exhausted!
Hope you're all doing OK today.
Well that's me fed and watered and Dibley and me have had a lovely walk in the sunshine☀️, although it was a little windy. Dibs is now crashed out on our living room floor.
I have recently read the posts and must confess that I have lost the plot, just like in a soap opera, and am finding it increasingly difficult to remember who's doing what when, so please forgive me if I get things wrong. After nearly 8 weeks can I still blame chemo brain🤔? Hopefully split screen will help.
Marlyn sounds like you've moved in for the day at the hospital. Hope things improve with your boob.
Implausible love your cookie monster pj bottoms and hat and trainers, very you☺. We were very lucky with our son as he was never interested in designer clothes so a bit cheaper to run. As you say, even at Outlet prices, we're near Clarke's Village in Street, it can still be expensive. Well done to your son too for losing all that weight which I hope was intentional.
Stargazer1 sorry to hear that you're suffering from anxiety on top of everything else. I hope you're getting support to help you through it. I'm back on meds as I'm stressing about my upcoming surgery, fortunately only half the dose I was on between diagnosis and the start of chemo. It all seems to be part and parcel of this Barrying bc 💩.
Nettienoo when we get some warmer weather I'll try and get some photos on here of my elephant and perhaps some if my other baggy harem style trousers. I only wear them around the house, although I have got a couple if pairs I can wear out. They're in my size and not one size fits all.
Trixielady hope you're ok. Sending you hugs❤❤❤❤❤.
Ocean21 we need your photos to cheer us up. Hope everything is ok xxxx.
Rosina glad you feel better than yesterday. Take care xxxx
Thinking of you all too, Deano, MJB, Daisydi, Seaside Sar, Sandra and Veronica.
Best wishes to all of you. Hope I've not forgotten anyone. Apologies if I have.
Just a quick pop in. Dibley 🐕 has just arrived and he's already pining for his 'parents'😔.
Well done Sonia. Ringing bells for you 🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔.
Edinbird hope your scan goes ok today. Don't fall asleep, but tempting when you've had a crap night.
Some flowers for everyone until I come back for a catch up later.
Hi, here I am! Rads are taking up my whole day it seems, I'm in this afternoon for herceptin too ( 2 hrs this time) then rads straight after....boob getting smaller and harder and sore....but! It's still preferable to chemo...
sonia, I'm ringing the hell out of that bell with you....xxxx
remember I bloody love you all xxxxxx
Hi, here I am! Rads are taking up my whole day it seems, I'm in this afternoon for herceptin too ( 2 hrs this time) then rads straight after....boob getting smaller and harder and sore....but! It's still preferable to chemo...
sonia, I'm ringing the hell out of that bell with you 🔔....xxxx
remember I bloody love you all xxxxxx
Morning all, good luck for today Seaside Sar. Sorry to hear about your possible blood clot Sonia but hope it isn't. You've had enough to put up with. Well done for finishing your chemo.
Edinbird, Sarah and Rosina hope you are all ok and not suffering side effects too much.
Maryln where are you? Hope you are ok and that your skin is holding up.
Nettie hope you are feeling better x
Love to everyone else x
Morning, yes well done Sonia28. 🌻🌻🌻🌻
Go , go Seasidesar 🌼🌼🌼🌼
I was lying low yesterday.
Felling better today 🙏🌈
Just popping in quick (woke with thumping headache) to say huge well done to our lovely Sonia for finishing chemo. Seaside, it’s your day today. I’m excited for you darling. Back later. Xx
Sonia, yay!!! Another one of us finished! And hopefully you now have your arm back??
Here's hoping the suspected blood clot turns out to be something less serious that will clear up quickly in its own.
You ought to have your own private room up at that hospital! They must all know you on a first name basis by now
And Edinbird, what a crappy night!!!! Reminds me of my boiler panic the other week but at least mine had the decency to play up and freak me out at about 9pm not 2am!!!
Hope you managed to get back to sleep and that if you need any repairs they aren't too exorbitant
Last thing you need when your dishwasher is also playing up and you have so much else to deal with
The universe picks its moments sometimes!!!
It all makes us stronger, but sometimes it would be nice to have a rest from being tested.....
All the very best of luck with your scans later. Not sure how long they take but if one of them is the one where you have to lie still for ages, maybe you can have a lil' nap!!!
And Seaside, all the best for today too!
Where's our Rosina? Very quiet! Hopefully still happily making and tasting delicious soups....
2am... steroids are done so why am I up?!
Well... early to bed then husband appears at the door about 90 mins ago as the hot water cylinder is buzzing away. I’d already had my fan on as I was feeling warm so I couldn’t hear it. Turned off everything we can find except the fuse box and it’s still whirring so he’s gone back to bed grumpy and probably not sleeping and I’m now wide awake and starving!! Don’t want to go downstairs and make anything for fear of disturbing him again! I have a few Oreo bites by my bed but I don’t want anything sweet as my tastebuds are just starting to slide... could just wolf down some toast but I think I’m better off trying to sleep and hoping he’s managed to drift off. Glad we have managed to pump the creaky dishwasher full of rinse aid to keep it going if we now need a valve replacement on the heating.
Apart from being hungry I feel ok so far. My filgrastim injections are bruising me a lot this time but I just let him stick the needle in these days and get on with it. 8 to go that’s all.
Better try and sleep I have scans later, in 12 hours actually. Good luck Sar for later too in case I’m too zonked by my broken sleep which is bound to get worse I can even feel the sweats rising right now (and the boiler is 100% off so it’s 100% me!)
Well done Sonia too! I have animal pants to share too MBJ but the weather in Scotland is not suitable... will try and remember whenever the sun next shines!
Night all xxxx
Round 6 complete 🔔🔔🔔🛎🎉🎉
didn’t end up going the other unit, as I wanted out of there, they are querying if I have a possible blood clot in my left leg due to swelling and pain, not redness or heat so I’m think okay, but they are scanning tomorrow, then while I was at the appointment radiotherapy department rang to see if I could have my Ct scan as same time tomorrow so had to put them off till Friday. So that will make 5 trips to the hospital this week. My daughter said it’s getting you ready for radiotherapy 🤪🤪
Good luck Tomorrow Sar, I like the sound of your goodies xx
implausible, I love your Cookie Monster pj’s they are so you 💕💕 I’m also loving the shoes, It must be lovely buying your son new clothes ( minus price tag, my youngest loves the names items ) it must be giving him a confidence boost, hopefully he’ll be able to get back to college in September. Fingers crossed on his Pizza Hut job 🍀
stargazier, lovely to hear from you. Sorry to hear you’ve been suffering with anxiety.
im going to have a look at Toppik fibres. My consultant said false eyelashes are fine to have as long as the practitioner is happy to do so, luckily my ladies is ( she’s a trainee nurse earning extra on the side)
well sone on completing treatment, sorry to hear about your infection. Take care of yourself, you know where we are 💕
Sandra, lovely to hear from you, sorry Veronica is having such a tough time💕
MJB, I love the trouser and Sandals very holiday look 🛳☀️I’ve given myself 3 weeks and then will be going slimming world. I’ve got lots of weigh to shift, I’m hoping some of it is fluid so won’t be quite as bad.( I can live in hope) You can’t compare yourself to the Soldiers we all have our fight, and tackle them the only way we can 💕
Can wait to hear about your cruise 🚢
Nettinoo, sorry to hear about your departing fuzz, like the others said it should come back very soon. As you know I have no real eyelashes left and very sparse eye brows,
Rosina, I signed up for the link yesterday, and got lots of my friends to do the same,
trixielady, thinking of you. It must be hard to get your head round, but it’s whats best for you. One of the trails I was offered was possible no chemo at all, as they are not sure it’s needed on all cases now.
Susie, thanks for your kind word the other day, feeling slightly better now than I was, I suppose it’s all sunk in now x
Edinbird, hope your doing okay,I know your coming into crap days, thinking of you 💕
Marilyn, hope the radiotherapy is going well,
Deano, hope your okay
ocean, hope your okay too
Daisydi, Monday will be here very soon. Then this stage will be behind you 😘
hope I haven’t for forgotten anyone, love to you all.
The theatre cap is to provide a small bit of comfort for the bald patches. The nurse who did my last treatment was suggesting I wouldn't be able to continue with the cold cap if I lost any more hair before my last session. Luckily, the ladies on here came to my rescue and suggested the theatre cap as added prorection.
As for hair loss, I have lost about half and a lot of it has come from underneath in the nape of my neck, so I will need to get it cut very short in a few weeks. On the plus side, it is starting to grow back at my temples and in the nape of my neck.
Toppik fibres sound interesting, I'll have to have a look at those.
Take care and sending you big hugs 💕
Catch up time.
Sonia, I hope all went today. And I bet you are glad to see the back of your PICC line!
My port doesn't come out till August, but luckily it isn't too in the way.
It is lovely to see us all coming to the end of the chemo part of the journey. I know we still have more treatment to come, for years in most cases, but the worst bit is nearly over. Chemo sucks!!!!
And thanks for the info about the eyelashes. Something to keep in mind if I need to look glam for anything before mine grow back....
MBJ, sorry you are feeling ropey. Hopefully the anti sickness pills have helped. Like you I have a ton of spare ones as I never take my Emends on days 2 and 3, and I also have 2 full packets of the one that sounds like Dom Perignon. You should take yours with you on the boat, I bet they help with travel sickness too....
And you can't possibly compare yourself to the D Day soldiers and find yourself wanting, you silly moo slightly different situation! There is always someone worse off or braver than all of us.... but that doesn't make your own suffering or fears any less. Personally I think you have shown incredible bravery! You went through terrible side effects and trauma with your first chemo and then had the guts to say "enough!".
And the elephant trousers are funky and look super comfy. Closest I've got to those is my cookie monster jama bottoms
Probably couldn't really get away with wearing those wandering around on a cruise ship?
Sorry Debi I'm on a different regime to yours too, but their suggestion of doing the different drugs on different days to start with sounds sensible. So if there is a reaction they can narrow it down to what bit caused it....
Best of luck, hope all goes well on Tuesday and Wednesday! And before you know it you will be on round 6 and finishing up like a lot of us are this month
Ha! Nettie! I'll join the Trump punching queue with you!
I bought one of those pink "pussy hats" well over a year ago so I could join the protest at his state visit, then he had to blooming arrive on my chemo day when I was a bit busy!
Weirdly I used to like him - or at least find him funny - when he used to host the American version of the Apprentice. But he wasn't leader of the free world and endangering all of us at that point....
Stargazer!!! So good to hear from you!!
Sorry to hear you are struggling with anxiety. It can hit us at any time. I hope you are getting some help with that? My son dropped out of college earlier this year, my diagnosis I think was the final straw but even before then he was having terrible trouble with anxiety, crying and begging not to have to go every morning. He is keen to rejoin this September but we were worried the same problems would still be there so I've been paying for him to have twice weekly counselling. Not cheap but manageable (£90 a month), but the difference in his self confidence is amazing. I am sure he will be able to cope so much better this time around.
I hope your infected hand clears up quickly too, sounds nasty
And thank you I feel fine today, the side effects usually kick in for me on Friday and last till Tuesday ish. At least as this is my 3rd T I know what to expect. It is horrid but I know I can ride it out. And it is the last time!! Yay!!!
Hey Seaside another one finishing this week, hooray!!!! Hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Glad you got the stuff to enable you to keep cold capping. Let us know how you get on
Sandra you are very kind but I look blinking awful in those photos from the hospital but despite that I still like them because I look happy and it was a momentous occasion. I've hated every second of chemo and I'm so glad to see the back of it
As for next steps, I'm much more relaxed about those. I have 4 weeks of rads mon-fri throughout July. I'm really pleased it is only weekdays as I originally thought it was every single day without let up. I'm so glad I'll have time to rest up at the weekends.
Then 3 weeks after rads end I have surgery to remove my port and "even up" my left boob so it matches my new post- lumpectomy right boob, which is much smaller and higher up I am hugely and very noticeably mismatched at the moment and it draws some odd looks!
Then I have to have 2 teeth out and then I can start 6 monthly infusions of "zoledronic acid"? For 3 years. That is supposed to help prevent osteoporosis and also stop cancer spreading into my bones?
And finally I'll have hormone treatment for 10 years. They took more bloods from me yesterday to test if I am ore or post menopausal (had hysterectomy 2.5 years ago which obviously stopped my periods so I can't tell!). I get results from that tomorrow. Am hoping I am post menopausal as I would rather have Letrazole than Tamoxifen. We will see....
Sounds like a lot, but it's all better than Barrying chemo
I hope that both yourself and V start to feel better soon x
I've actually had a really nice (if expensive) day today. Have been shopping with my son at the local outlet village. He has lost a ton of weight (7 stone!) and desperately needed new clothes. It has been a delight to see him taking things he thought would fit into changing rooms all afternoon and coming out having to swap them for items 1 or 2 sizes smaller I usually have the opposite problem!!
He now has a whole new set of gear that fits him perfectly and he looks amazing! But boy does the child love his labels! All Tommy Hilfiger and Levis and Ralph Lauren! Even at outlet reduced prices it still made my wallet weep
I also couldn't resist a little "post chemo" treat for myself new trainers..... only £30 though. A tenth of what the boy cost me!
He is waiting on a call back tomorrow for the job he interviewed for at Pizza Hut on Tuesday. Fingers crossed he gets it and then next time he needs new clothes he can buy his own
Now I'm going to slump on the sofa for a while, watch some telly and forget about my poor depleted bank account
Hope everyone I haven't mentioned is ok x
Love to all
Thank you Sar
How is the cold cap going? What is the theatre cap for? I used the cold cap throughout my treatment & although I have lost a great deal of hair & have noticeable (to me) bald patches my family & friends say they are not visible to them . I’ve been using Toppik fibres from Boots to fill in the gaps.
Fabulous that it is your last one tomorrow
Good luck 😉 💕
UAUAUAUU CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU!
OK, Implausible, oh champion my champion! You did it! And, honey, you look so lovely in that photo, I just wanted to hug you and say how happy I am for you!
Congrats, a thousand bells ringing!
Nettienoo, I do not know if it is my pre-menopause, if it is the tiredness, bu I am 'shizzling' all the time, especially with TV that smug faces there. Regarding the hair, it is normal to have that 'fuzz' and falls down again. In a couple of weeks it will start a new growth, you will see.
Debi2, welcome, things are tough, but as you can see by this really brave bunch, there is a silver lining out there.
MBJ, you look so lovely! How are you doing? great trousers and sandals!
Trixielady.... what can I say, my love... you know that Veronica could only cope with 3 and still is as been unable to walk straight, her intestines, stomach, blood pressure, kidneys, heart, brain... it's all shot, really. I have been talking directly with researchers from labs and universities, and, honey, it all boils down to luck, there is still no explanation or justification for what comes out in the future. I really want to meet you as soon as you feel up to it, we could meet up at Vennels cafe in the city centre, it is sheltered and have a nice assortment of coffees and teas, message me when you want.
Sonia28, my feelings regarding BC is beyond up yours I hate it, I hate it so much!
Susie B, how are you?
Edinbird, I know how you are, my love, we have been speaking on Linked In, I am so keeping my fingers crossed you will feel better soon!
Seaside, what are the next steps?
Rosina, and how are you doing?
And for everyone else, what will be your next steps after this nightmare?
LOVE YOU ALL!
Hi Debi2, I’m on a different regime to you but hopefully someone on the forum is on similar to you. They are a very friendly bunch. 😊 xx
This is the first chance I've had to check in with you ladies today. Just finished reading your posts.
Love the photos from yesterday, Sarah! Hopefully you're still roided up today and feeling as good as you can.
Well done, Sonia for being the next one to finish. How are you feeling? Lovely Snapchat pic by the way.
MBJ, your trousers look fab. Must get myself a pair. Sorry to hear you've been feeling rough. Hope you feel better in time for the cruise. And no, you are not a coward! You've been/are going through tough times so you're totally entitled to feel worried.
Daisy, you're right, I am due my last chemo tomorrow. Hurrah! However, I will still be visiting the unit regularly for blood tests and my first 3 Herceptin injections apparently. So much for them coming to my house. I guess it's easier on resources if I go to the hospital but it's disappointing for me nonetheless. So home injections should start in August.
Debi, I had the separate appointments for Docetaxel and Herceptin. They did the Herceptin first and it was absolutely fine, as in, I didn't have a reaction to it. Then the next day I had Docetaxel with the cold cap. So it was tiring but not awful. Then the 2nd lot was done on the same day. Again, straightforward enough, other than having to wait for the pharmacy to issue my drugs. But that doesn't happen to everyone thankfully. Good luck, I hope it all goes well.
Hi Stargazer1, lovely to hear from you. So sorry to hear what happened, that's awful! I saw this happen to a man when I was having my chemo and he was in a lot of pain. So sorry to hear you're suffering with anxiety too. That's so difficult to deal with but particularly when you're going through all this treatment. Do pop in again and let us know how things are going.
Nettie, you did make me laugh with your comment about Mr Trump. What is it about that man that brings out the worst in us? No comment!
Right, I'm off to check my hospital bag. I have my paper theatre cap ready (sent by Mrs Paxman herself, who also sent me some unscented complimentary shampoo and conditioner) so no one is stopping me from using that cold cap.
Will probably post tomorrow from the unit as I'm sure I'll be there a while!
Hope all the rest of you lovely ladies are OK.
Love you all loads.
Hi Susie B
thankyou for your kind thoughts.
I pop on here now and again to see how everyone’s doing but because I’ve been suffering from anxiety I find it easier to try and take myself away from the situation. I’ve never suffered from anxiety even when I had 3 children under the age of 3 and then years later a seriously ill grand daughter, I guess this BC brings out different emotions in all of us.
Sonia... I too lost my eyelashes right st the end after my last chemo. I was wondering if it’s ok to have false ones put on?
Nettienoo.. I’m sorry to hear your chemo got postponed at the last minute, enjoy your extra ‘good’ week and good luck for your last one.
Trixielady.... hope you are ok?
Love & hugs to everyone else.
Ive now finished my treatment as I cannot have radiotherapy. The T has left me with an infection in my hand which the hosp says can happen, yet another course of antibiotics, hopefully it will go soon, what with that & the extravation I suffered my poor hand is a mess. The nurse drew a line around the infection it started off a bit heart like & then became this.......photo attached 😂😂 I haven’t started my Letrozole yet but am having monthly Zoladex injections, 6 monthly infusions of Zometa, daily calcium tablets & monthly liquid vitamin d which my daughter said looks like a shot 😂 phew!! & to think I never liked taking tablets!
Aw photo won’t upload, says it’s too big? Let’s just say it was a very symbolic shape!
Good luck to everyone having treatment or recovering 💕
Nettie I think SeasideSar is next to finish ?tomorrow. My last one is on Monday. Dreading it but cant wait to finish ..
Sorry to hear you haven’t been feeling well Marie. I’m sure your holiday will do you the world of good and you look fab in the elephant trousers. The sandals are perfect with them too.
Implausible Sarah, “shizzle” is a word I use a lot myself and there is a lot of shizzle going on at the moment. I am normally such a kind, gentle, non violent type of person but there is something about Trump’s face that makes me want to punch it! That’s bad I know but I just can’t stand the man. I’m pretty sure the Queen must feel the same too. 😂.
Suzie, we need to see some pics of your print trousers too.
Sonia are you done and dusted for today?
Marlyn, how are the rads going this week?
Who is the next one to finish chemo? Xx
I am from the April starters group, i pop on here to look for info and advice ( and to be nosey! ). MBJ where did you get the trousers from? They look really nice.
I will be having my first lot of docetaxil on Tuesday and have Herceptin and Pertuzumab on Wednesday so i am a bit nervous, i had got used to the side effects of EC. Apparently because its my first dose of each it has to be done two separate days in case i have a reaction, the next lot after can then be done on the same day. Has anyone in this group had theirs like this?
Guilty as charged. It was me. I've got several pairs in different colours and designs. I agree, they are soooooooo comfy that's why I've ended up with so many pairs. Your's are great 🐘🐘🐘🐘☺