Marlyn, my husband’s mother was deeply involved in the church when we met and wanted him to marry one of the nice young ladies from the church youth section who wore sensible shoes and no make up. She wasn’t happy I was an out and out atheist who wore low cut tops, skirts with side splits and high heels. She thought I was a floozy and still does. X
Daisydi, sorry to hear you aren’t sleeping with worrying about your mum’s situation. Fingers crossed things get sorted asap for you all. Xx
Hahaha, thanks for the giggles this morning my darlings. I think we all share a similar sense of humour and one reason we get on so well.
It will be 36 years married this year. Nick was 19 and I was 24. My mother in law viewed me as some kind of female predator....we have never got on. She said it wouldn’t last. Proved her wrong didn’t we? Imp, we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best back then so I could have been pregnant well before the wedding. Sheer luck that I wasn’t. 😂.
Trixielady, I’m doing ok my darling. Thank you for thinking of me. I’m generally feeling quite well apart from aching joints, reflux problems and fatigue. Some of this probably due to settling in to daily Anastrazole. Coming up to 3 weeks o. It now so hopefully things will improve. I’m seeing Onco in about 5 weeks so will see how things are by then. I’ll probably be starting on the Sodium c....? (Can’t recall name) too then.
I’m trying to build up my stamina but find if I have a busy day, I’m exhausted by teatime and just want my bed. I normally fight it and end up flat out on the sofa in the evening snoring until my husband forces me to wake up and go to bed. I am off to Amsterdam for the weekend 2 weeks today so desperately need to find more energy from somewhere. I’m out walking as much as possible with dogs and into town and back. I think I just need a bit more patience.
How are you doing and little Trixie? I bet she missed you when you were away. My son is here looking after our two when we go away but I will probably have to FaceTime them at some point and pretend I’m checking on my son’s wellbeing. 😂😂😂😂😂😂. Xxx
I know Susie, its an awful lot. My mum worked all her life and ok she gets a decent pension but it goes straight on her care. Ive been awake all night worrying again! If it was for the long term we couldnt do it but it will make us happy to be able to spend some quality time with her.
Implausible you naughty girl!
Edinbird, loved the Doctors and Nurses joke. Had me in stitches😆😆😆😃.
Daisydi, £200 a week extra is an awful lot. I often question why this kind of care can't be brought under the NHS as it is not a life style choice but the result of illness. I'm not an advocate of tax/national insurance increases but at least the burden of the cost of care would be spread around.
Marlyn, don't forget the Christmas Markets, lights and retail therapy🛍🛍🛍🛍 whilst you're in London.
Well I've got the joys of PICC care at 12:30 today. What else would I be doing on a Friday? Perhaps I'll do a bit of clothes shopping👖👕👚👠 first after I started a clear out earlier in the week
Have a good day everybody. xxxxx
His battalion was being posted to Germany.....I simply couldn't bare to be without him. Everyone said it wouldn't last......think we proved them all wrong by now. His mum wanted him to marry a " nice Welsh girl " he got one from slough instead! I tease her about that now!
September wedding? Briefly, Paul and I got together after just being friends in the office from Jan 76, started dating in the May, prior to hubby joinining the RAF in Aug. After seeing each other at weekends only or less, from Aug 76 to Mar 78 we decided enough was enough. So we figured 6 months would allow enough time to get things organised, hence a Sept wedding. Family thought we were too young to get married, I was 21, Paul was 20, but here we are about to celebrate our 41st wedding anniversary 💑.. .
Edinbird....I'm lolling out loud....good one 🤣
Implausible....if your in that there London in December would love to meet up! Got tickets to see only fools 4th, Christmas lunch 5th.....
goi g to jump on the anniversary band wagon....it's mine on sat....34 years wed....what can I say? I was a child bride! 🤣
I'll reply later properly but happy anniversary everyone! (Including Susie's coming up)
Must be the time of year for it as it was my 30th wedding anniversary a couple of days ago too (I was married 9/9/89), not that I celebrate mine much
As for London trips. I'm in London a lot, often work down there midweek, plus I could hop on a train easily pretty much any monday or Friday, so if any of you are ever there and want to meet up for a coffee, just yell.
And Edinbird.... I'm amused
Happy Anniversary to you both, unless i have it wrong its Seaside Sar 25th and Edinbird's 10th xxx
Seaside, congratulations to you and your husband on 25 years. You must have been schoolkids when you married as neither of you look old enough to be married that long. Xx
Sorry I’ve been sitting round feeling sorry for myself 😞
My nails are poop too, one nearly snapped halfway down a week ago and I filed it down and it’s been ok but it is split. You can see all the ridges from the docetaxel. No danger of them falling off but they have weak lines across them. Been meaning to paint them to try and strengthen them but haven’t been bothered and actually I don’t want a false sense of security on it. It’s on my right hand otherwise I would be stressing about it catching and bleeding on the bad side. You can see the ridges
It’s our 10th wedding anniversary today. Not doing anything in particular. He’s in the kitchen making some dinner.
I spoke to Sandra the other day but hadn’t got round to saying. She was happy for me to let you know what’s what. Veronica has had her rads and is now on Letrozole and Zoladex, but is having nightmares pretty much every night and Sandra herself is still struggling and suffering panic attacks 😕 she’s trying to finish her studies ASAP and has had no luck with job applications. She’s said she’s afraid of feeling a failure and coming on here to report that. I’ve told her that we are here to support and not judge and she should say hi when she’s ready. I sent her love from us all. And she sends us all big hugs 🤗
Just had a phone call to see if I can attend my radiotherapy planning session next Thursday, so things are moving forward. Husband's got to change his leave around, again, to drive me there. My car is booked in for it's MOT and service the same day, not that I would drive to Taunton anyway. So Monday day out with hubby to celebrate 41st wedding anniversary, Tuesday Tesco shop and goodness knows what else, Weds bloods and onc appt, Thurs Taunton, Friday chemo. What an exciting week awaits. ☺☺☺☹☹☹☹. xxxx
That made me chuckle😅😆😆😂. We're in London from the 9th returning home on the 12th so we just miss you. It would have been great to meet up. I did think about going up the week before but wanted to make sure I was ok after rads and didn't want to be there on my birthday (5th Dec) as we were there for my 60th which was pretty special. No we're not staying at the Ritz☹ but the Radisson Blu Hampshire. xxx
Love the nails Marlyn ( although for me this would be a long length).
Implausible: Can I second Nettinoo’s comment about a good beautician knowing how to use acrylic to fix a nail.
I once had a split thumb nail and the nail lady was able to fix it using acrylic ( it’s a powder that she then turned into a paste and it ‘cemented ‘ my split nail- it actually helped it to heal). She then put gel polish over that.
Fab photo Seasidesar, I think your hair looks great.
Official hours at school are Monday (2 .5)+Tuesday (4 ) + Wednesday ( 4) + Thursday 2.5 and Friday (7) = 20 hours.
However this doesn’t include the 30 minutes that I arrive earlier every day so it’s more like 22.5. So far so good.
Got my eyes tested today and I am getting an improved and more ‘with it’ pair of reading glasses.
Car passed its MOT so pleased about this too.
Can’t believe it’s Friday already tomorrow!!!
Edinbird , hope the sleeping is better.
I am usually in bed by 8.30 so that I can be up for 6 am.
MBJ, how are you?
Ocean21 - flower pics please.
Anything else : cinema tip off - the film adaptation of ‘The Goldfinch ‘ is soon to be released in the UK. The book was amazing :
Afternoon all, firstly congrats on your wedding anniversary Seaside Sar. You look lovely. Re nails it was acrylics my sister had not gel. They look good Maryln. As for my mum well we had to get social services involved as she gets a contribution towards her care and they have to do an assessment and they cant give me a date as she is not urgent as she is safe and already in care. The new home is £200 a week more than where she is at and they wont fund that so my sister and I will have to fund it but we feel that she deserves it for the last chapter in her life. So flippin expensive. We just now have to wait for the assessment and hope the home keeps the room for us but I have a funny feeling they wont as they wanted to move her next week. The senior carer is coming to meet my mum tomorrow morning and we really like her but it may be that we have to wait a bit longer. Social services said my mum cannot be hoisted onto a stair lift so until they agree to move her she is in isolation! More stress ....
Chemo brain strikes again!!!! Where did I get Piccadilly from? When you clearly wrote Leicester Square!!!!
Susie, when in Dec are you in London? We are there from the 3 4 5 ....staying at the hard rock hotel Marble Arch....are you staying at the ritz??? That's a special hotel in Piccadilly! Xx
Firstly congratulations Seaside Sar on your 25th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. You both look very happy. As an aside the tiles on the wall have taken me straight back to Istanbul. On the long hair/short hair preference have you thought of an inverted Bob, think that's what it's called but could be wrong. Anyway I had one for a while after I finished work. Basically it's long at the front and short at the back. Actually it might even be a graduated bob. Perhaps someone can help me out here, bloomin chemo brain😩😩😩.
Daisydi you seem a lot happier☺ now that you may have found a new home for your mum. Keeping my fingers crossed for you🤞. As for your own move to Norfolk it's surprising what events can occur to encourage us to make great leaps into the unknown.
I'm glad to know that I am not alone in saying the wrong words and being in complete denial of what I have said. My brain still thinks I've said the right word. I'll try not to challenge Paul next time I say fridge instead of oven or tell him it's pasta for dinner when I mean stir-fry. Mind you I haven't tried to put rubbish in the dishwasher yet, which is what my husband attempted to do the other day😅😆😆😃. What made it funnier was that he even asked me to move as I was stood in front of said dishwasher.
As for hair (bum fluff) appearing on people's faces, me too🦁. Mine actually unexpectedly arrived after FEC finished but disappeared after my 1st round of TC. Wonder if it'll come back? Hope not. As for everywhere else, no regrowth yet. My eyebrows and eye lashes are still hanging on, just. As for bags under my eyes I'm sure I could put a weekly shop on them🛍🛍🛍😀😀, especially after a week like last week. My nails seem to be ok. I've used dark varnish on my toe nails. A first for me as I've never had nail varnish on my toe nails before. It took a while for my husband to get used to it. I might do it again next year just for fun. Something good has to come out of this bc. I'm using Evonail on my finger nails.
Well I've booked our hotel for our trip up to London in December. We've been several times in recent years so if I'm too tired we won't feel as though we've missed out on things. Still intend to go to the Hyde Park Xmas Market, but will go on the Monday or Tuesday when it's not so busy. If we have to cancel, which I'm sure we won't, there's no penalty for cancellation and we've got until check in time to decide. Mind you it is a rather special hotel we use in Leicester Square.
Implausible excellent news regarding your holiday insurance. We were with Tescos but had to change insurance company as Tesco no longer do holiday insurance. As for our summerhouse we make use of it for as long as possible. The wardrobe make over is going well. Will definitely need some new tops when everything is sorted. I keep wondering why I've hung onto certain items. Hey ho!!
Right I've now got the Facebook messenger (message) app. Help what do I do with it now and how do I use it? Answers on a post card.
Well I think that's about it. Hopefully I've caught up with most of the gossip. Thinking of you both Edinbird and MBJ. Hope you are both receiving the help and support you want or need. Hope all is well with you Deano too. Let us know when you feel up to it.
Love to you all xxxx
What has been going on with this forum?? Couldn't get on here since Monday. Boo!
Love all the photos...nice hair (and lashes) Nettie, also Sarah, Marlyn (lovely nails), Susie and Sonia. Looking good!
Daisy, just want to send you a big hug. Also, Edinbird 💕
Rosina, hope you're having a good day at work. Don't let the little things bother you, although I can vouch for how annoying it is when things go walkabouts. How many hours/days are you doing now and how are you feeling?
Sarah, I did enjoy the hockey, thanks. The difference in quality is noticeable but the atmopshere made up for it. Looking forward to the weekend already.
I've had a busy week so far. Husband and I celebrated our silver wedding anniversary on Tuesday so we had a meal in a Turkish restaurant. It was very nice. Have also kept up the exercise routine with aqua, barre and a class called Sh'bam, which is basically dancing like mad. It hurt a bit so I'm not too sure I'll be booking that one again!
Going to a cancer and beyond talk this evening. Looking forward to hearing what they've got to say.
Out for another meal at the weekend, this time with parents and our children.
No wonder I need so much exercise with all this eating out!
Hope you're all having a good day.
fantastic! that's about the length/shape I want, I don't want claws
I might pop into one when I'm in town tomorrow, and get it done now if they accept walk ins, so I can see what it is like, and then get them done again in 3 weeks just before I jet off....
exciting times, I'm fed up of them being all raggedy and falling apart
It's covering up all kinds of brown/ white lines and imperfections.....she said it will even prevent my thumb nail splitting ( it's splitting halfway down)
All this talk of nails gave me the urge this morning to walk in a nail bar and get mine done, I've had gel nails which apparently will last me 3 weeks....will post a pic!
Not sure how I'd tell the difference between a good one and a rubbish one. I'll see if any of the far girlier-than-I ladies at work recommend a place....
Implausible you don’t need nails stuck on. They should be able to build you up a new nail with acrylic and then harden it under a lamp. I had it done when I lost a toe nail. The new nail just grew underneath. Go to a proper beauticians that does nails where they do all the filing etc purely by hand though not one of those cheap nail shops that have sprung up everywhere. Xx
Ah cool. I just wanted to know that it was possible before I walked into a nail place and they laughed me out of the shop
My sister bites her nails really short and has had gel nails stuck on. You can have them as long or short as you want but must admit I've never been near a nail parlour.
Rosina would that be a dispenser?
But if they do a gel polish they can't add any length, can they? Isn't that just like a normal polish but stronger/longer lasting? I don't want super long nails (talons as you called them ) but I don't want 4 nails only halfway grown....
I like your finger nails Implausible.
I have never had fake ( stick on talons) but I would recommend a manicure with a gel nail polish ( dries instantly, long lasting- the only faff is the removal as they have to wrap them up in foil and then scrub the gel off) they do last for 3 weeks though ( even longer but seeing the growth at the nail bed like a tide mark annoys me so I used to go for a nude colour like ‘bubble bath’ which made my nails look fabulous and grew out so that I didn’t even bother with a salon removal - I actually find it quite boring so I haven’t had a manicure in ages) .
I also remember having a short dark nail one Xmas ( gels again) in a very dark red called black dahlia that was stunning:
On the word front, last week I said ‘ What do you call the thingy in which you put sellotape so that you can easily find the end and pull it out ‘ 🤪
Oh that new room sounds like it will be so much better for your mum, Daisy. It really is such a worry isn't it.
My other half has been moving his nan from her previous retirement flat into a care home over the last couple of days. She really can't be on her own any more. It has all gone quite smoothly so fingers crossed so will yours.
One thing I forgot to mention earlier in my big post, and also a question.
The thing I forgot to mention was my nice surprise earlier with my travel insurance. Obviously they knew about my health issues this year as I claimed from them earlier re missing my American trip in March. But I thought I had better ring them just to see how things now work - I have an annual all countries policy, and I figured I would now need to either give them more money, or that they would cover everything other than breast cancer complications.
Anyway they asked me a few questions about my initial diagnosis and treatment to date, and then told me I am still fully covered at no extra cost.
I was rather chuffed with that!
So I can relax a bit about my trip to New York next month.
The question is about nails. Do any of you know anything about nail salon places? I've never set foot in one!
I've now lost 4 fingernails , but when they came off, they didn't leave naked fingertips, there were other nails underneath. I presume it is these new nails that are forcing the old ones loose. Very odd.
So anyway, now both my pointy fingers and both thumbs have super short nails like so:
(The one on the right).
I'd quite like nice nails for my New York trip. Does anyone know if they could glue (or whatever they do) fake nails over the top of these, or do they need a full length nail to work with?
And how long do the fake nails last?
I am so ignorant about girly stuff
Yes ditto that Nettie. I get terrible withdrawal symptoms from the Implausible Sarah. I didnt realise there was so much fantastic street art out there probably because I've never looked. Eew just noticed my hairy fingers again. I also have that soft downy hair on my face. We saw the manager at mum's care home today and told her of our concerns. There isnt a room available downstairs and not likely to be one for some time. She even commented that she didnt think it would be detrimental to my mum to move her at this stage. Anyway we then went to the new home and saw the available room and that clinched it for us. It was lovely and we can spend some good quality time with her for however long she may have left. Therefore we are going to move her as long as social services agree. They are going to put a new carpet in in a colour of our choice and we can actually put some nice things in there for her. It will be so much better as we will be so much more comfortable rather than being perched on a bed a long way away from her so we cant really interact with her. Not sure how long it will take but obviously the room is empty so they will be pushing for it to happen. My sister goes on holiday next Friday so I hope it doesnt happen while she is away as Im not sure I can do all that on my own. Not really sure how we are going to get her there but I'm sure someone will know. Even if she ends up staying in her room at least there are windows you can open and hustle and bustle outside the room so at least she will be able to hear life going on. I told the current manager that her room feels like a prison cell and makes me very unhappy and stressed. We could actually put flowers and plants in her new room and a big tv and some or her ornaments. My sister and I both feel very happy about our decision. Lets hope it does happen.
Think my sweats have improved. I do get the odd one but really not that bad but then its going to get hot again so maybe they will start up again. Just got one area under my boob to heal properly. Rather than blokes hankies I have been stuffing toilet roll along the crease. Did try kitchen roll but it was too rough. Have to go now and cook dinner. Speak later x
Implausible, loved the update. I get terrible withdrawal symptoms when you haven’t posted for a bit. The street art pics are very wow! What talented people we have all over the country. X
I'm exactly the same with the words. Couldn't remember the word for scissors the other week. Had to ask my son to pass me the "pointy cutty things"
And I wrote a proposal at work yesterday that took me hours longer than usual. Just couldn't conjure the words I wanted.
Sonia, I’m with you on the words thing. I’ve actually been a bit worried about it as I am calling things by completely the wrong name and not realising it. I asked my husband to turn the engine on earlier and I meant the oven. It’s the fact I’m not registering I’ve done it. I do hope it’s temporary. X
Hi everyone sorry I've been AWOL - been insanely busy and also fighting a bit of a cold, so not a lot of catch-up-with-my-ladies time available.
So - where do I start??
Marie - how are you feeling? I really hope that the heart meds are gentle on you and that things might improve for you at least a little the further away you get from the chemo that did the damage in the first place - still very annoyed on your behalf! It feels like what they ought to do with chemo is start us all off on a reduced dose for the first cycle, just to see what we can tolerate, as we are all so different, and then ramp it up if need be from cycle 2.... it seems crazy to go in with the super high dose and then go "oooops" when it is too late
Even for those of us who tolerated it better, it really does knock you back to a place you aren't sure you'll ever fully come back from - most of us still have aches and pains galore - and some of you have been having the sweats - and I definitely tire so much easier and quicker than before. Chemo is long term brutal! I know it has its upsides, but so many downsides too, that no amount of reading up on potential side effects in advance can really prepare you for.
Anyway - I'm rambling - I hope you're ok doc xxx
Susie - you didn't need a glass of water to chuck at your other half when he complained about the shower - you could have just doused him with the shower head! I would have! (This is probably why no man has dared to live with me for over a decade)
Daisydi , I'm really glad to hear that you are getting back into a better sleep pattern. Sleep deprivation is the WORST. I've not slept well the past few nights because of this cold, and I'm a very grumpy bear because of it.
Did you ever get a definitive answer re how long the meds-induced hot flushes last? Because my onco has now decided I might be peri-menopausal not post-menopausal as the lab originally indicated, I'm starting next week on a double whammy of Zoladex and Anastrazole, which apparently is the ultimate hot sweat cocktail. Oh goody. If I know they will "only" last 6 months or so, I reckon I can put up with it. If they go on for the whole 10 years, not so much!
I'm very reassured to see that our Trixielady's Letrazole sweats only lasted a month or so.
Marlyn - have you tried out that pink hairspray yet? At this rate I'm going to be the only one *without* pink hair, talk about the world turned upside down
As for eyelash curlers, that is something I've never even tried, that or false lashes. The thought of poking around near my eye makes me a little squeamish. Even putting mascara on makes me a bit nervous!
And uncaring siblings? - stuff em. My sis can be a pain as you know Although to be fair she does ask how I am. Just before having a go at me about something It's my adult sons who have shown absolutely zero interest in my health issues, which kind of surprised me, but hey ho. Maybe the whole thing just makes them uncomfortable and they would rather pretend it isn't happening.
Susie - I also use stairs as a gauge of fitness. I am still a long, long way from bounding up and down stairs like I used to, but when I am feeling really fed up I remind myself of where I was in June just after my last chemo, when it took me forever to get up the stairs and it totally wiped me out. Even the slightest incline in the street felt like climbing Everest. I'm definitely moving forward (and upward ), which is encouraging.
I've looked at that Dyson hairdryer too, but I just couldn't bring myself to spend that much on something so utilitarian, especially given half the time I'm drying my hair at the gym anyway with their dryers, or on a sunny day, just letting it dry by itself. They are supposed to be good though. As is their curler/straightener thing, the Airwrap. My sister treated herself to one of those the other day in John Lewis. £450!!!! for a hair curler!!!! Dyson are one of my clients at work, but sadly they don't give us a supplier discount.
Talking of hair, good news that despite still chemo-ing, you don't seem to be losing any more.
Enjoy that summerhouse while you can! it's getting chilly round these parts now.
As for "going grey gracefully", I'm somewhere between Susie's "no way" and Rosina's embracing of it. I don't mind how it is right now, kind of salt n pepa, as I'm not looking to colour it again until it is a fair bit longer (super short, brightly coloured hair will just attract those ladies from the other bus that we discussed! ). And, like I said before I think, I actually prefer the grey to the boring mousy brown it used to be. But I'm not planning on keeping it like this forever, I do want my crazy colours back in a year or so.
My main problem with it isn't that it makes me look old, as such, but it does make me look my age And I'm not used to that. I'm used to kidding myself that I'm still a youngster.
When I changed my Facbook profile pic to this one earlier this week:
lots of people said very nice things, but one of my best pals commented "but this is a grown up. Where is Sarah?!" and that's exactly how I feel Like I am cosplaying as a 52 year old
Makes me wonder if perhaps it is time to grow up a little ..... but, I only think like that for a moment and then it's "nah..... " But yes, for the moment, I shall brave the "au naturel"
Back to Daisydi - no critical illness insurance for me either. I did have one, but it was linked to my mortgage, and was there to pay the mortgage payments for me if I couldn't pay them due to not being able to work through a critical illness. I think that is the only circumstance under which it paid out, and I haven't missed any work, and besides I paid off my mortgage anyway 2 years ago when my dad passed away, so it got cancelled.
That's a genius idea about reducing retirement age if you've had cancer, I wish they did do that! Sadly I'm pretty sure they don't. My retirement age is 67 - seems like a loooooong way away.
Trixielady, liking the holiday snaps, hope you had a great time. You look a lot happier in the photo with wig than without, but I bet it was hot under there! Give it a year and I bet we will all be feeling much happier about our hair once it has a bit of length and we can slap some colour on it.
Seaside, how was your first home game? Annoyingly I missed ours as I was away, but we lost anyway (and by all accounts played really badly), so I'm not too sad I'll be at the rink this weekend though.
As for your hubby and him liking the short hair, that's a bonus, but you need to like it too! Maybe you can get to a compromise length over time. Or just get it how you want it and he can mind his onions
Back to Susie re recovery time after rads. There has been such a wide range of reactions between us all, that it is difficult to predict how quickly you will bounce back, but for me (I was lucky!) it was almost instant. If you remember I had booked the fortnight after rads off work as holiday, because both the onco and the radiotherapist warned me that the 2 weeks following treatment are the worst, and I would feel exhausted, and my skin would be peeling off etc. As it turned out, I felt absolutely fine pretty much straight away, never had any skin issues, and my energy levels were better than they had been in months. Like I say, I was lucky, but at least that's proof that you aren't 100 percent doomed to have a bad time in those 2 weeks.
I guess it depends how much you are planning to do in London, as long as you build in a few potential rest stops etc, I reckon you'll *probably* get away with it. At least if you so have a bit of the old radiotherapy sunburn you'll be covered up anyway because it will be winter....
How are you getting on with your big wardrobe clear out and re-stock?
Marlyn, hope you've got some more sleep since your rubbish Monday night x I do like the idea of you flouncing around in your "dramatic" t shirt though, sorry it made me giggle
How is operation noisy bathroom going?
Sonia, thanks for setting up that Messenger group so that we could keep in touch when this forum kicked us all out again, I did miss the non Facebook ladies though (Seaside, Susie, Daisy, Trixie etc). I didn't realise that you could use the Messenger app independently of facebook, that's good. Would you non facebookers be happy to download the app so that you could join in if the forum goes dark again?
Or I'm fine with WhatsApp, either or.
Susie, your hair looks great! Nice cut. You have way more than some of us skin'eds I'm totally with you on missing my fringe. I'm not used to seeing so much of my forehead (oh and SIL is short for sister-in-law) Marlyn - I just looked up trigger finger, we definitely don't want that!! I'm trying not to worry about any potential side effects that are listed as anything less than "common". I depressed myself looking at the Zoladex side effects online, and then thought, to balance it out, I'd look on the same website for the side effects of the blood pressure meds I've been taking for 10 years with absolutely no problems at all. Sure enough there was a scary list as long as my arm, all sorts of horrid things - not one of which I've ever experienced. So I'm trying to adopt an "I'll worry about it if it happens" mindset.
Daisydi, your oncologist is even more of a stranger than mine was. Mine disappeared for months on end too, I didn't see him once during chemo. I hope when you finally see him (or her?) in November they are at least helpful.
Nettie - you have such lovely eyes! And your hair is about the same length as mine by the look of it, wish mine would get a move on too! I'm using that Caffeine head and shoulders shampoo that I mentioned before, and taking these supplements:
Not sure if it actually makes it grow any quicker, it seems not compared to some of our other ladies, but it does seem to be growing back nice and thick and healthy.
Daisy - you mentioned hairy fingers - I'm seeing more hair on my face than I had before, on my cheeks and chin. It is very fine (bumfluff ) and you can only see it if you get up close, but it is annoying me a little as it wasn't there before. I'm not going to shave it off though as I don't want it coming back stubbly!!
Edinbird, we've spoken and you know I'm really sorry to hear how your first day back at work went Like the others have said, you're already doing the "putting yourself first" thing by going to Maggie's asking for some help, making new contacts of people locally who can support you etc. You've had a TOUGH year, I mean we all have, but yours has been extra tough, be kind to yourself for a while and I promise things will look brighter in a month or two.
Sonia, your hair looks great - you'd never have the foggiest clue that you were chemoing a few months ago!
Daisy - I remember you mentioned before about losing your sister in an accident, but I didn't know all the details I feel so guilty now for moaning about my sister on a regular basis! I do love her really. I honestly can't imagine what it must have been like for all of you, and the thought of her children (presumably not little children at that point but, still) having to come home without her is just utterly heartbreaking. I just can't think what that must have done to them
I can see why you needed to have a clean break after such a tragedy. Otherwise there would be so many daily reminders it would be unbearable.
On the more positive side I'm glad things are moving in the right direction for your mum's care, I hope that the move to the new facility isn't too much of an upheaval for her.
Trixie - if you don't feel like you are getting comprehensive or useful answers to your questions from the onco - would it be worth taking someone else in with you to keep prodding until you get straight answers? I'm lucky that my onco is fairly straightforward, but my friend had a similar issue with hers that you seem to have with yours. She started taking her husband to the consultations and he basically made absolutely sure that everything was answered thoroughly and to their joint satisfaction.
Susie, you're making perfect sense, don't worry Glad you are perking up a bit.
Sonia I'd happily eat a 2-cheese sarnie, I love cheese! (That's why I put on so much weight during chemo, my inner cheese monster was fully unleashed )
Rosina - don't sweat the small stuff (as irritating as it may be!)
And - I'm caught up!!! Remind me not to leave it so long next time
I shall leave you with some (from hundreds of!) street art pics from my exhausting long weekend (there were 2 big urban art festivals on at the same time, which was annoying, one in Cheltenham and one in Birmingham - so I was in Cheltenham all day Friday (didn't get home till nearly midnight), then in Birmingham all day Saturday (another long day), and then back to Cheltenham from lunchtime on Sunday. SO much walking, and a lot more driving than I've done for months too.
Roll on this Friday when I intend to REST UP. Love to absolutely all of you Sarah xxx
Lots of wise words in the recent posts, from SusieB and Nettinoo.
I was shocked about your sister Daisydi the first time you mentioned it.
I am a certified sports diver but haven’t been diving in 20 years and don’t plan to return ( kit got stolen way back : fins, wetsuit - didn’t replace it.)
Sending you Hugs.
ps, got irritated at work today as nothing is where it should be ( pilfered, gone for a walk, lost ???) had to be reminded about the bigger picture by one of my LSAs. So true 🌸🌸🌸
Daisy, That must have been awful for you. I am glad you had the courage to move and do the things you wanted.
Trixie, we are all here for you to rant away. I wish we didn’t have to take into consideration money when planning our lives it would make things much easier.
Susie, hubby got blasted last week too. I’d like to think I can talk it through rationally, but I let it all build up the explode. I feel I can tell you ladies anything, where as I don’t like to tell anyone how I’m really feeling.
Well I don’t know if it’s chemo brain, early menopause or what, I am mixing up so many words and saying things that make no sense at all
today I tried to a Brie and cheese sandwich !! The lady behind the till looked really strange at me and said that’s 2 cheeses, took my friend to intervene and say what I wanted 😫😫😫
fingers have gone numb so will catch up later xxx
Well I've definitely climbed out of the chemo fog for now and have actually had the energy to do a bit of exercise from my DVD and the walk🚶♀️ to my hairdressers yesterday didn't tire me out at all.
On the subject of returning to work I feel so fortunate that I don't have to make that decision now. That said it was extremely difficult going through the redundancy process, which took around a year, but at least I was in good health at the time and had the option of taking my Civil Service pension early. Under the current circumstances I'm glad I did take it. We worried about money and how we would manage, we still had a mortgage and our son still had a couple years to do at uni. At the time I couldn't face applying for jobs or attending interviews. The plan in the end was to get little part- time job after a 6 month break. Then my Mother-in-law passed away which ultimately allowed us to be financially secure. In other words we never know what the future holds. If we did I'm sure we wouldn't have so many 'What ifs?', .
As for my mood it does depend very much on how tired I am. Last week I was so angry and frustrated that this Barrying bc has had such an impact on our lives since last December. Unfortunately my husband got the full force of that anger.
I'm going to sign off for now 'cos I don't think I'm making much sense. Chemo brain😩😩😩😩. Be back later when brain back in gear. xxxx
Daisydi so sorry to read about your sister my god i really don't know how people cope losing loved ones and are able to continue but i suppose there's an inner strength. Hopefully you can remember her with happy memories rather then a painful lose,they say time is a great healer is it really or do we just learn to cope xx big hugs thinking about you xxxx
Edinbird you have done so well keeping up with work in the first place. I am at the other extreme wishing I had some sort of work but dont and cant face the prospect of looking for jobs. I am sure your employers understand. When I tragically lost my sister in a diving accident in Egypt I went back to work after 2 weeks but I really really couldn't cope with the pressure and some months later had to go off sick. I was the head of a department but I wanted to work part time which they eventually let me but then I couldn't cope with being in charge and not being there all the time which is why I moved up to Norfolk to get a clean break. Even though I have left all my friends behind I think it was still the right decision as they were all moving away to be closer to family etc. and we still meet up occasionally. My work always played such an important role in my life but then I discovered life without work and it is so much easier although I do need to do a little something. My biggest enjoyment was being able to have the dog I had always wanted and she was my best friend and companion until last year when I lost her at the age of 15. Have you ever wanted a pet? Just give yourself time. It is very early days and you are still in treatment so try to be patient with yourself xxx
God it feels strange knowing why our hair is like it is but at least its hair and you both look fantastic. Edinbird I totally understand about working and not working but we have to put ourselves first but that to me is difficult when all you want to do is be normal!! and that means working to get the money to do things because unfortunately in my situation my hubby's wages aren't enough but I continued to fight with my self and deep down i know I'm a along way of getting back to work some days i feel so mixed up miserable, emotionally tired and so lost, I feel so bloody lazy but when i try to do things around the house it backfires.
Daisydi I'm pleased you've received your appointment with the oncologist I'm not sure if mine is really helpful but its probably me, as he can never give a straight answer that i want to listen to or understand because most of the time i feel **bleep** but its probably boredom and lack of energy. I so wish i could concentrate on the here and now and not the what ifs everyone says we can't believe how wonderful your coping!! What else am i supposed to do!! Sorry for the rant feelings running wild today xx
Edinbird, you mustn’t beat yourself up about not feeling up to work and it’s associated pressures yet. You have done amazingly well to put in the hours you have so far and you are obviously very conscientious when it comes to work matters. I hope a chat at Maggie’s will help.
Daisy, I have felt tearful reading about the loss of your sister. Something so traumatic does change priorities and how one looks at life. I’m so glad you took the brave step of moving near the sea. There are things I want to do after all this bc c**p has quietened down. I’m not going to say “over” as I’m pretty sure the effects will be ongoing in some form or other. I hope I can find as much courage as you have had Daisy........watch this space eh! Xxxx
I'm so sorry that going back to work has led to feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed. You say you don't know how to put your health first but by deciding to have a chat with Maggie's today that's exactly what you are doing. The important thing is that you have recognised that things aren't right and that you need some help, advice or guidance.
I recognise how important your career is for you, I was much the same at your age but had to make a huge decision when I was about 43 when my job was making me ill - stress related - and I decided to down grade aftet a 2nd bout of sick leave. It was hard but ultimately it was the right decision for me.
As far as the bc goes I'm sure the 30 or 40 year old me would have battled her way to work no matter what. The older and maybe wiser 62 year old me would think, stuff it, I'm taking as much sick leave as I can and not feel guilty on days when I could feasibly have gone to work.
Take care and don't be so hard on yourself. You've been througn so much this year and you're still going througn treatment. xxxxx.
Hi Sonia, my sister had just turned 50 and had booked a last minute trip with the two youngest kids as a treat over half term. I didnt even know she had gone. It was so traumatic and she left 4 children, the two youngest having to pack up her things and come home without her. It was that time that I really had to rethink my work life balance and decided I wanted more me time and that life was precious and you should do what you need to do at the time and not put things off. I wanted to live by the sea so I did. Didnt expect the situation with my mum a couple of years after. On that note we heard from the care home we visited that they will probably have a room for her very soon and were we interested. We said we had the meeting with the manager tomorrow and would let her know. Think we will probably move her as we dont expect them to budge on the room situation and even if they did it could be years before a downstairs room became available. Its all very scary though.