Thanks Jencat. I will probably go ahead with the T just dont want to! I am not a giver upper and if anything happened in the future I would never forgive myself. The thought of another FEC fills me with dread too! Think I am just feeling sorry for myself at the moment as this chemo just seems relentless and I think my body has had enough. I will do this!
Hi Daisy, I'm from the Oct'17 thread. Just been reading about your dilemma with having your last. T. I'm pretty sure that Shi from my group had problems and had FEC for her last chemo. Wondered if that might be an option for you rather than stopping chemo altogether-Shi's often on the different threads, so hopefully she might be able to tell you x
In bed listening to this. Resting 🤗
Did not do my stretches this morning.
Hope to walk later.
p.s he is so down to Earth 🙏
Back from rads, with a truly sore boob, they advised me to buy a " non oily " cream....so will be asking my chemist what they advise.....Also...it seems that cancelling a rads appointment will only result in a double dose on another so, so on my last session I'm to go in first thing then again last thing....oh poo!
to add to my wonderful day, I got a phone call from my gp to tell me I have the pre cursor to crumbly bones (!) it's called something like...osteopenia? Soooooo another shed load of pills to pick up ( this is the one where you have to keep an eye on your jaw bone) oh heck!
implausible...mentioned about the rads your getting, he said there's less faff and it's all pretty state of the art stuff...he seemed suitable impressed!
Well, im off to the chemist to flash me boobs....love you all xxxxx
Bloods are done... came out good for this early in the morning! Won’t go off any earlier than last time though so I’ll ask about the liver function when the hospital calls and hope they know. If it’s good then wine later... if they don’t I can’t risk it.
Will let you know what they say later xx
Edinbird, looking forward to hearing about the AA truck fiasco when we have the grand meet up. I'm intrigued. Glad the work meeting wasn't as bad as you expected but it's a situation you could well do without.
Implausible you only need to rub 2 or 3 drops of caster oil into your hands (it's concentrated) and that's plenty for scalp, hair, brows and eyelashes. It also takes care of the nails and cuticles too. I'll let you all know if I think it's made any difference.
Nettienoo hope you escape from hospital today and get to go away for the weekend. Also wishing your daughter a speedy recovery.
MJB I'm with Implausible and Nettienoo and see if you can talk to someone who may be able to put your mind at rest regarding you decision to stop chemo, or at least help you put everything into perspective.
Hope everyone is coping ok. Take care xxxxxxx.
Good morning everybody,
Edinbird, thanks for the update - that sounds a bit more positive on the workfront.
Daisy, such difficult decisions we have to make with this barry BC. I can totally understand your reluctance to carry on when you've had so many ill effects. Take your time and do what's right for you. On the plus side, sounds like the LGFB session was a success. I'm finding it most useful now that my eyebrows are nearly all gone. Also thanks for the tips on where to visit in Norfolk. We nearly stayed at Wells but found a nice guesthouse here in Sheringham. Will try to incorporate a visit, or if not, will plan one in the future.
Rosina, sounds like you're doing OK so far. I felt more in control during this cycle as I knew what to expect. Hope you don't suffer too much with the SEs, or preferrably, not at all.
Have a good day everyone.
Happy to hear you enjoyed the LGFB session, they really are a morale booster. I had never pencilled in my brows before this bc but now it's part of my daily routine and like to think that practice makes perfect. Haven't tried eyeliner since and mascara covers my eyelids beautifully☹ as I still haven't got used to shorter and thinner lashes. For that I use clear mascara which I have worn regularly in recent years. As for the chemo, try and hang on in there, you've only got one session left. I know it's difficult, especially when you haven't got the advantage I had of actually feeling the results of what each session can do to the bc. As for the rads could it be delayed a while until your skin has improved? Making decisions is difficult at the best of times but when you're not feeling 100% right it's even harder. Take care. Sending you hugs ❤❤❤❤
Hang in there Daisydi,
you have got this.
I made my own concoction last night to drink:
raw cocao powder , dissolved in hot water to which I added a spoonful of molasses and topped up with soya milk. I zapped it in the microwave and had it as a bedtime drink.
Thanks again for the link, I did have a look. Lots to choose from.
I am back on my soup.
My own concoction yesterday: 2 small sweet potatoes chopped, sauté spring onions ( bunch) , 2 small red onions, 3 cloves garlic and a handful of chopped parsley. Sauté in olive oil. Add bag of spinach plus chopped up asparagus tips. Some veggie stock ( liquid) then blend. Add black pepper at the end to taste.
We all enjoyed it and Mum said it was better than what you get when you eat out 🤗
No side effects yet from my #5 T dose but it’s not day 4 yet so I am gearing up for it.
Adding a powerful mantra for everyone to listen/chant to
its called the Gayatri Mantra ( a mantra is a ‘mind tool’) . I have learned it by heart and I had it running through my mind yesterday:
Good luck for this morning Edinbird.
Keep the fluids up.
Very pleased to here your news re. Work interviews.
Everything will be well.
Hi all xx
Sounds like most are feeling at least a bit better, fingers crossed for 💩 or common sense Nettie! Daisy I don’t think I could cope with cutting chemo but I don’t have many options so it’s different for me. Susie they surely can work out what’s in your lump this time they’ll have far more to test.
I haven’t felt or been sick once during chemo but yes my stomach has caused plenty of discomfort the other end on or off...! The AA truck fiasco was years ago after going to Spain not recent but it’s cringey and hilarious in equal measure. Maybe I’ll save it for our grand meet up it’s best told in person. But it’s probably the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me.
So... meeting... at least it was to discuss things not tell me, I could give my input. They wanted to interview me wc 17th but given all my appointments the previous week and not knowing the outcomes I’ve asked if it can maybe be the following week. Unless I get some serious delayed side effects I should be ok. Everyone is going to get the presentation to prepare ahead of time rather than with 30 mins! So people may have amazing presentations but my brain couldn’t cope with such little time. They said I could do the interview wherever I wanted and even over two days. Everyone else will be getting interviewed next week.
After calming down yesterday I feel better about this. Was able to talk about the other positions and options. I’m not going to stress about it just do my best and I’m not going to be left without a job. I’ll have time to prepare and I should be feeling better and at least it’ll be done. Fingers crossed for good news at the appointments of course.
Only did a mornings work but wasn’t fussed for this afternoon. I need a good sleep but was distracted so took bestie to get his prescription and then had a big pizza. Would love a lie in but I have the delights of bloods at 8.40am tomorrow!!! Only time I could get. At least it’ll be done early. Then I have a two hour meeting in the afternoon so it won’t be hard to make up my hours tomorrow.
Will have my alarm set to start drinking... last one though! 😁🙌🏻
The tumour, or some of it will go off for biopsy after surgery. Hopefully there'll be enough to establish if my bc is HER2 positive or triple negative the same as Edinbird's. At the original biopsy they couldn't tell and the same result could be the same. If it's positive then I'll have Herceptin and more chemo and radiotherapy as required. Otherwise it'll be just chemo and rads. If it's still inconclusive I haven't a clue🤔.
Love the Peggy story. xx
Hello everyone. Been to the LGFG session today and got some nice freebies and came away with eyebrows drawn on properly and also managed to cover up my black eyes. I did look fairly decent for a while and then I went to the onco centre to see one of the drs about my reactions and asked whether I could stop at 5 and not have any more T. She said its my choice but some people have much worse reactions where their skin actually peels away. My concern is that I am covered in spots mainly on my chest and bad boob and my skin will just break away during radiotherapy. One of the ladies there today had finished her radiotherapy last week and her skin was so red and sore. She said I could delay my last T for a few days if I wanted but I cant decide. Half of me cant face it again but the other half thinks its only 1 more and that I should just get on with it. Will make my mind up next week when I might hopefully feel like a human being. I cant actually eat anything decent as this chemo seems to have affected my gut and anything decent just goes straight through. I havent even been having my superfood shake. Rosina the company is called nutriseed.co.uk and they do all sorts but mine is called Total Superfood shake.
Sorry that you are locked up again Nettie. Hope you get home soon.
Seaside I love Sheringham but if you get the chance go up to Wells/Holkham. It is my most favourite place in Norfolk (beach wise). Glad that little Lexiison the mend
Implausible I think I only have 15 r/t sessions. My planning is on 12th July and my last session is on 12th August. I dont think I want any more surgery to even me up. I am supposed to be having 2 areas done as well. Maryln I hope today was better for you.
Edinbird let us know how your meeting went.
Hope everyone else is ok. xx
Nettienoo hope your feeling a bit better, I've been lucky compared to you and Edinbird on this scale at least I had no sickness and the imodium actually stopped it so i could get to the hospital although having to carry a full change of clothing, wet wipes and so on but it was well worth it as my scan on my boob showed no scary reasons for my pain apparently normal, although still not well today but had a lovely visit from my son and my sister xx Hope your daughter recovers well xx
It’s Okay Daisydi,
I did a search through the posts and found the Nutriseed shake.
will google it now
ah yeah I remember we talked about fish oils before - because I had to check that the Perfectil ones didn't have fish oil in them due to being a vegetablist , but as far as I can tell they are fishy free
Marlyn you have just made me chuckle as my husband has said exactly the same about me “advertisers dream”. I get reeled in so easily.
Susie, you did the right thing by getting out in the garden. It’s where I head when I’m feeling down. Just the fresh air makes a difference and you have a lovely garden. Your hair has grown so much since you last posted a pic. It gives me hope. I have a bit of fuzz and resemble a coconut at the moment.
I am going to get some of those vitamins put away for after chemo Implausible and thanks for explaining about Peggy.
Trixielady how is your tum today? I hope it’s settled down a bit. Explosive pooing is horrendous isn’t it. They want a poo sample off me here at the hospital but I’ve tried to explain after yesterday’s events I’m unlikely to poo again for quite some time.
Back later. Xxx
Yes, I have a right shiny head....perhaps I overdo it though, I also do what's left of my eyebrows.....I'm not a pretty sight..
I used those vitamins for ages, I swear by them..I always had lovely nails and good hair, but chemo nurse recommended fish oils so I'm currently getting obsessed with them ( and the oils) that is until I read about the next new wonder cure all for baldies and flakey nails...hubby calls me an advertisers dream....bloody cheek!
Daisydi what was the name of the superfood / superseed shake you recommended?
Could you please tell me again. Thanks, also where do you get it from ?
I did a google search but there is so much out there I want to get the correct product.
Thanks ever so much,
what do you do with the oil? rub it on your head? doesn't that give you a greasy bonce?
Only thing I've bought is the nettle shampoo bar I mentioned before (that is still in the boot of my car, it probably isn't going to do much good from there, maybe I should try actually using it!)
Oh and I've also got these vitamins (that someone somewhere on the forums recommended), which are sat in my cupboard waiting for me to be 4 weeks post chemo as apparently you shouldn't take vitamin supplements till then:
well get you and your modern rads....I'm actually well jel! Rads are defo a walk in the park, today's session was more faffing to get me in the right position but Tuesday was super quick...it varies....
i often wondered how the sessions vary ....4 and a half weeks seems an awful long time for a small tumour with clear margins and no lymph node involvement....urmph!
They also told me the odd day off doesn't hurt....just as well as I cancelled yesterday's.....
will be interesting to read your experience with rads.....
oh...met a lady in the waiting room who was 8 weeks post chemo...she had an amazing crew cut...I would say about a number 3 on the clippers....couldn't believe how quick hers was growing back...and she's on herceptin too....ah well....I'll get there in the end.....I've got some organic castor oil too....and almond oil....lol xxx
Appropriately enough for all this talk of radiotherapy - I just had a call from the hospital with my dates.
I am in for a "CT planning scan" on June 19th - she said I get injected with dye and can't eat for 2 hours before, but can drink anything except milk (?) . I asked if this is when I get my dots tattooed and she said they don't do that any more....so how they know where to aim the laser beams I don't know!
Hang about, I just found this on their website:
<<What is surface guided radiotherapy (SGRT)?
SGRT uses sophisticated 3D camera technology to accurately target and kill cancer cells.
• During your treatment, cameras monitor your exact position to make sure the radiation is precisely targeted
• The treatment area receives the maximum dose of radiation therapy. The surrounding healthy tissue receives a much lower dose. This reduces the risk of side-effects
• SGRT is often used to enable DIBH treatment for left-sided breast cancer with the benefit of minimising dose to the heart
Unlike some other forms of radiotherapy, SGRT means you don’t need to have any permanent markings (tattoos) made on your body.>>
(I'm almost disappointed..... I figured that little dot would be kind of a badge of honour! I guess I will have my scars for that. And my weird grey curly hair, or however it grows back )
And then the actual rads are Mon-Fri for 3 weeks (so that's 15 sessions in total) from July 1st, at 9:30 every morning. So that means I'll be out of the house from about 8am to 12ish..... home in time to work from home in the afternoons to make up my 3 days' worth of hours over the week. Going to be a bit knackering but I'm glad it is 3 weeks not the 4 I was expecting, and that I get weekends off.
I genuinely thought you had to go in at the weekends aswell because when the doc first told me about radiotherapy she made such a fuss about how I mustn't make any plans during that month because it is super important you don't miss even a single session..... so I figured if I couldn't skip a random Thursday, say, then why would you be able to skip Saturdays and Sundays? so I am delighted to hear that weekends are recovery days.....
I wonder why you guys are doing 4 weeks and I am only doing 3? The doc did originally tell me it would be 4. Also I was supposed to be having double zaps - the boob and the armpit separately - but the schedule only says 15 minutes per sesh which doesn't seem long for 2 lots of positioning etc. Ah well - I'm seeing the onco tomorrow (for the first time since before I started chemo back in Feb!) so I can ask him all these questions then....
Dr James - I know the temptation is strong but you really mustn't beat yourself up about the decision to stop chemo. I know I've told you before but I'll tell you again, in your circumstances I would have done exactly the same. Like Nettie said, is there a possibility you could ask to see another onco to talk it through in a bit more detail now that it isn't all so urgent, and hopefully that might put your mind at rest?
Nettie - your daughter is lucky that she only has to produce a wee - after my hysterectomy I wasn't allowed home until I did a number 2. Which was easier said than done as they had given me some codeine immediately after the op for the pain, which of course stops you pooping! They really don't think these things through Hopefully she is home by now - I wish you were too but it looks like they are doing that "symptom free for 24 hours" thing that they did with me the other week. So annoying when you feel perfectly fine and ready to go! I was all ready to dramatically discharge myself against doctors' orders by the end, like people always do on the TV.... but I was too chicken Hope they let you go bright and early tomorrow and that it doesn't mess with your weekend plans.
As for Peggy - she was the lead character in that 5 page comic I was working on for months and bored you all silly with She isn't 100% real, but is loosely based on a real "prostitute with a heart of gold" who was an informant back in the 80s to the chap who wrote the comic story, when he worked as a policeman. He worked with a number of ladies of the night - for want of a better term - in those days and has collected some of the anecdotes they told him - some funny, some sad - into an anthology graphic novel with each short story illustrated by a different artist. It comes out later this year.
Marlyn I'm glad you are feeling better than yesterday - albeit with a red, sore boobie the rads nurse earlier told me that it "might start to feel a bit like light sunburn by the end of the treatment" - but yours sounds more than "light" sunburn, and you are only 6 sessions in! I think she was underselling the symptoms a little! She also assured me that radiotherapy in itself doesn't cause fatigue, but that people tend to feel tired because of all the daily travel. But I reckon that's b*ll*cks too as my cousin lived virtually next door to the hospital where he had his rads and he was still exhausted. He did assure me it is a doddle compared to chemo though, which is what I'm relying on. Would you say that's the case?
No hair regrowth for me yet either..... I keep checking too!
Seaside, that's a total bummer about the art therapy course pity you can't spin it as a doctor's appt and sneak out of work for it in September! Although it sounds like you will need to be a bit all hands on deck at work when you go back
Hope you have a lovely weekend in Norfolk!
Talking of work - Edinbird, I hope all went ok this morning?
Susie thank you for the lovely garden pics. I think worrying about results is the human thing to do - even if it is a bit pointless at the end of the day as it doesn't make them come round any quicker Tell our brains that, though, huh??? So will they send the lump off to the lab after your surgery ? Hopefully they won't leave you waiting too long for news. I suppose your ongoing treatment after surgery depends on what they find? We will all be keeping our fingers crossed with you for the best possible results.
Hope everyone else has had a good day - Trixielady in particular, hopefully a lot better than yesterday!!
take care all
If I get this right a few photos will follow🤞. Was feeling a bit down and anxious, not about surgery as such but post surgery and getting results. Unlike the rest of you I know what my bc isn't but don't know at present what it is. So I've taken a few pics, after refilling the bird feeders, whilst wandering around the garden and unwinding a little. The flowers are for all of you brilliant ladies but especially for those of you having a rough time, be it hospital admissions, work related problems, chemo or rads related. To prove my diet is improving I had some of the lettuce and radish with my lunchtime omelette. I mentioned the other day that I'd ordered the Mantis hairbrush. It arrived yesterday and I tried it this morning. It was ok and was good as a scalp massager and brushed through my hair well. Worth £25? Jury's out at present. Will keep you posted. Also trying out organic castor oil on hair, eyebrows and lashes. Going to have another walk around the garden, I'm sure some flowers need dead heading. I'll try and respond to your posts later. All the best Susie B xxxxx
in total I'm to have 23 sessions, dreading to think what boob will look like at the end??? It's really itchy too....I'm using E45 , double base gel and udderly smooth....I chop and change...
feeling better today but extremely fatigued....but reading on the posts fatigue seems the norm! I've just read trixelady post.....what a horrible start to her day yesterday....but it was good to see some hair growth.....I'm getting obsessed ( surely not) with checking in the mirror at my scalp....still loads of pink....hey ho....xxxxx
You posted while I was typing. Sorry to hear you were poorly yesterday. How are you now and how many more sessions to go? Red boobie sounds painful. Are you using any particular cream on it?
My oncologist thinks I'll have 24 sessions but I'll wait to get confirmation of that from the radiographer.
Hope you're feeling better today.
Good morning everybody,
First of all, Nettie I am so sorry to hear you're in hospital. Not only that but I realise I put your name by mistake when commenting on Sonia's afternoon tea which would have been the last thing on your mind yesterday! Sorry both of you and I hope you feel better soon, Nettie so you can go home.
Rosina your Mum sounds a bit like mine when it comes to lack of inhibition. She would be commenting on all the other patients too in a very audible voice while I would be squirming in the chair. Glad it all went well though and now just one more to go.
Edinbird, I hope you managed to sort out the interview situation. Please let us know what happened when you're ready.
Trixielady, so sorry to hear you were so ill yesterday. How are you today? Hope you've managed to avoid a stay in casa NHS.
Sarah, your work situation sounds like stress you could do without. I hope it settles soon. Your art work is fab! Must be a good way to destress as well. I am a bit disappointed about the arts on prescription course that I applied for. After waiting patiently for a month, I rang them yesterday, only to find they haven't seen my form and that I've missed the current course by 2 sessions. The next one starts in autumn when I'll be back at work. So no art therapy for me which is a shame.
MBJ, I know it's disappointing not to have lost weight especially when you've been good but at least it stayed the same. Like you say, it might show next time. Keep going 😊
Daisy, how are you today? We're en route to Norfolk again - Sheringham this time for some more sea air.
Hope everyone else is ok today.
Have a good day.
Oh my, sooooo many posts! Nettienoo....wow, sorry to hear your in the clink, hope you come home tomorrow....will you still try and go away this weekend?
I cancelled my rads ads yesterday as I was proper poorly and not able to drive but back on form today and just back.....I've had 6 sessions now and am getting a right red boobie!
Will scroll through all the posts now and have a proper catch up...
love you all xxxxx
Sarah, although my daughter lives in Stafford near me she is at Stoke hospital and I’m in Wolverhampton so no chance of bumping into her. She is hoping to go home later today. She has to wee first though so she is glugging water down.
Doc has just been in and she wants me to stay in another day until my temp is normal for 24hrs. Ho hum!😞. We were supposed to going away in the caravan this weekend. She did say I should be able to go home tomorrow. I really hope I can still get chemo 5 under my belt on Monday.
Marie, if I remember rightly the % benefit you would gain by going through chemo was really small. This and the fact that you were so ill probably made the Onco agree with you stopping. Every case is different. Do you get to see the Onco again at any time because it sounds like you need your mind putting at a bit more rest about the decision. Xxx
Oh I am sorry you are back in hospital again feeling rough. I tell you now you are one tough lady you have stuck to your chemotherapy what ever it has thrown at you. I really wish I had had your courage to carry on. I really mean that 100%. Although it was my decision I do think I had a very non committed Oncologist who did not offer me any viable alternatives. Maybe looking back I should have asked for a second opinion. But I was feeling so ill I was not really up for being a self advocate.
I hope your daughter is improving, everything seems to come at once. Let's hope your chemo 5 can go ahead on Monday but don't take any needless risks for the sake of a few days. I know you will make the right decisions.
Hope you get home soon x
Nettie!!! I somehow missed that you had been sick last night when I was doing my round up. Not sure how. So sorry to hear you have ended up in the hospital but it sounds like it was the right thing to do and I'm glad you are on the mend. Hopefully you will escape soon.
Very considerate of you to keep it all quiet from your daughter although I bet she will give you a telling off about that if she finds out later Are you both in the same hospital or do you live in different places?
Let us know how you are getting on xx
Edinbird....very best of luck with that meeting this morning, please let us know how it goes!
Rosina, the Warrior was a nice appropriate card for you to end up with yesterday just in time for your trip to hospital. And spending a whole day dealing with your ma
Looks like the steroids were doing their wide awake club magic on you in the middle of the night again. I actually said to a friend yesterday that as I am so damned exhausted all the time at the moment, I genuinely can't wait for next Monday when I get to start my steroids again, as those 3 days are the only time nowadays that I feel awake. The rest of the time I'm like a hibernating dormouse. I love my 'roids!
Maybe I can order them online along with some cocaine from your mum's source from the Cosmo magazine
MBJ - I'm glad I'm not the only one to have the occasional bed snack I think I would be worried about excessive crumbage from Ryvita though! Hate a crumby bed sheet....
As for uneven boobs, I am VERY mismatched since my lumpectomy. My lump was a big 'un (3.5cm) so, what with the margins on top, she had to take out a lot of flesh, which meant a major remodelling of what remained. My right boob is now very pert, and about a B/C cup. Got to admit my surgeon did a cracking job. My original left boob is a DD and as middle aged and droopy as ever. My nipples are in different time zones
It is very noticeable even through fairly loose clothing, so I'm quite paranoid about it. Have to wear really really baggy tops.
In August I go back in for final surgery to have the port taken out of my left boob and while I am under she will even me up - so I basically get a free boob job/lift on the other side so that I match. Can't complain at that!
The only thing that worries me about that is that, should the breast cancer ever come back on either side (I'm now touching my bedside cabinet in a reflex superstitious way...) , they won't have as much boob to work with for another lumpectomy. But that's a bridge to cross if we come to it....
Right, enough pre work waffling, I need to get up and dressed and to the office by 10, better get a move on!
Hope everyone has a good day. Or at least not a rotten one.
Hi all, just a quickie,
My vomiting and diarrhoea yesterday (it’s obviously the thing to have this week from other posts) plus temp of 38.3 ended up in me being admitted to hospital yesterday.
I’ve been on drip and feel better this morning so hoping they let me out later. Chemo 5 due Monday and I don’t want anymore delays. Bad timing as
my daughter was having her hysterectomy late yesterday and I was desperately trying to keep the fact I was back in hospital from her. She messaged me to say she was back on the ward about 9pm and apart from being quite sick and the obvious discomfort from op she was doing ok. Phew!
Great news about Lexie Sar. Such a relief for everyone.
Edinbird, are you employed by robots? They don’t seem to see past protocols and procedures. Asking what adjustments when the only obvious adjustment is not putting you through the process at all. Their empathy is non existent you poor love.
I’ll read through all the posts later my loves. Update later. Xx
a lovely post.
You really do represent us well.
Can we have you as Team Captain?
I am wide awake at 4am. It’s 4.30 now so I thought I would see if there were any posts.
MBJ I enjoyed reading yours too. My right boob definitely looks smaller than my left and I understand that rads may shrivel it some more. The blue dye is still faintly visible too but it doesn’t bother me (free tattoo courtesy of the Holy Unmercenaries) and if I am getting more dots for rads ( as Marlyn says) well who can complain 🤪
Mum by the way was very impressed with the Macmillan nurses and the Macmillan Support Center so she ‘gets ‘ my walking fundraiser now.
Her version of cancer treatment would be complete bed rest for 6 months ( permanently sleeping for at least 12 hours a day) or turn into Rip Van Winkle would be even better!!
Implausible, Your partly finished illustration is excellent . No art therapy this week for me. I may have a go in doodling in my journal.
Pulled out the ‘warrior’ card yesterday morning. It was really helpful visualising him during chemo yesterday especially when mum read Cosmopolitan from cover to cover . She described it as an ‘education ‘ and did I know you could now order recreational drugs online and they come straight to you by post: cocaine etc. No I didn’t.
She was much better ( less snorting and tutting) when she read about Joanna Lumley in another magazine.
I will post a picture of Warrior man later on today.
Stay strong every one.
Sorry it's late I am reading all your posts sitting in bed eating Ryvita with marmalade and a glass of milk. Must remember to get up and clean my teeth.
Let's see how much I remember.
Edinbird your work situation sounds really awful. I would love to know what your job is. Maybe it's time to use your sick leave.
Trixielady I hope you are feeling better and your bowels have stopped exploding!
Seaside Sar I am so pleased that Lexi is better and going home.
Sonia love the afternoon tea and beautiful daughter.
Implausible I hope you have dried out. ☔.
Hair wise mine is coming on but still not enough to face the wide world. No weight loss this week in Slimming World stayed the same ☹️ I have been good too. Maybe it will show next week. Ordered some swimsuits for cruses (plural), thought I might get away with normal ones that show some cleavage. But nope no symmetry so they went back. Now got two lovely ones from M and S for mastectomy ladies. They just have higher fronts and if needed they have pockets for a prosthesis. I think most of you have had or going to have lumpectomies so you won't have the same issues as me, one pert boob and one not so pert. They are really nice (not my boobs) and I feel more confident and comfortable in them than worrying about an uneven cleavage.
Sorry if I have forgotten anyone. Oh goodnight Nettienoo. X
(I've gone all Dixon of Dock Green )
Hopefully you are all fast asleep by now. I should be too but it has been a long, busy day and my brain hasn't wound down yet.... I'm going to be shattered at work tomorrow!
First of all, Seaside, fantastic news about baby Lexi!!! Such a relief for everyone. And for all of us lot too, we have been on tenterhooks with you! I'm glad you didn't have to wait till Friday for the test results like they originally said. Hopefully everyone is home and in their own beds by now.
More good news, Rosina is through the penultimate chemo. Yay! Well done you! And well done for keeping your mum mainly under control in the hospital
And I love the phrase "Holy Unmercenaries" from your Greek church discussion earlier. Good name for the NHS!
Sonia - glad you had a great birthday with the surprise party and everything. Sounds fab! And your afternoon tea today looked great too.
Susie!!! Hair!!!! Woot!!!! So excited for you that you have so much new hair coming through already. I keep closely examining my own bonce, nothing there yet but you have given me hope
Seaside and Trixielady great to hear that your hair is coming through too.
On to the less good news now..
Edinbird, such bloody horrendous timing for you with all this work nonsense On one hand having been involved in many of these work restructuring things over the years, I guess I can see why they are keen for you to interview promptly, as otherwise it presumably holds up all the interviews for jobs at the remaining levels/ stages. And I guess they figure if you have been well enough to continue working then you are well enough for this too. But there is a lot more stress in interviewing for a new position (especially if, by the sound of things, you don't really like the sound of any of the new jobs on offer) than just doing the day job..... and you are coming up to a crazy busy month medical wise with your last chemo, scans to see how well the lump has shrunk, plans for surgery and potentially rads.... you are going to have rather a lot on your mind already without all this on top!
I really feel for you, but I think all you can do is plead your case in the meeting, explain in no uncertain terms how incredibly difficult this is likely to be for you, and hope that your bosses do the decent thing and give you some more time....
Do let us know how it goes. We will all be with you - at least in spirit - in the meeting, cheerleading. Imagine us all just to the left of the table, in a big human pyramid, trying not to fall over
Seaside, ditto for you with your work troubles
As for all the general return to work talk, boy oh boy do I envy all you guys with your 6 months of paid sick leave!!! If I had had that much I wouldn't be back at work yet, that's for sure my main annoyance with my work is that I didn't realise I only had 8 weeks, until I was 6 weeks in! I had seen other people at work off sick for months on end.... but apparently that policy changed with the new owners 2 years ago.... I didn't know....
If I'd have known I was only getting 8 weeks I wouldn't have taken the 4 week sick note that my surgeon wrote me up after the lumpectomy. I felt perfectly fine after about 10 days. I could have gone back to work then and saved a couple of weeks for later .... oh well, never mind, what's done is done...
Daisydi, so, so sorry to hear that you lost your sister in such a tragic way. I feel bad for complaining about my sister now! You must have been devastated
On a happier note, I hope you enjoy your LGFB session. And don't worry I still had full brows and lashes at mine....and at least some hair.... nobody judged me
Trixielady, sounds like you had a blinking awful day!!! Poor you glad you were feeling better by the end of the day but what a horrid time you had to get through along the way. Thank heaven for the friend with the immodium!
Edinbird. That AA van story definitely sounds like an interesting one But poor you too!!!
Phew, I think that is me caught up.
As for me, I've had a long and difficult work day (boss making unreasonable promises to a client that I have to deliver against, that will definitely see me working on Friday which is my day off, but also probably over the weekend. Grrrr) - and then when I went for a walk late afternoon to clear my head, I got caught without a coat in a downpour and got soaked through. Not fun!
So this evening to unwind I've started a new painting of Peggy the sad prostitute from the comic strip I did. And that at least relaxed me a bit. Turns out that painting the red light district is fun as you get to use all the nice red and orange paints....
If the painting turns out ok I'm hoping they will include it in the book as part of the backmatter or maybe as a cover page for Peggy's story....
A work in progress, obviously, but this is where I got to by bed time:
Hope you all sleep well and I'll catch you all tomorrow sometime
it has been a long day today 12- 5 pm at the hospital, but everything went well and H1 and Mum ( minus 2 points at which I shushed her she is NOT allowed to make comments about other patients the chemotherapy ward- WTF !!!) does inhibition go out the window at age 78 ?
Anyway ,hopefully nobody heard her and then she read magazines quietly for the rest of the time. H1 was impeccably behaved. It wasn’t busy on the ward but one man ( mum described him as ‘ancient ‘ suffered an allergic reaction as he was being dosed and his chemo had to be stopped altogether.)
Got home to chocolate brownies ( made by K2) and K1 made French toast with strawberries and banana for me.
We went up to hospital by bus ( double decker and sat on the top floor at the front ), H1 brought us back home.
Mum told me today that she was cheeky at school and her facial expressions always gave her away.
Still the same today 🤪
Bed now, Good night to all.
Trixie the nurse did suggest Macmillan. I might go in before my chemo on Monday depending on what I get told tomorrow. I don’t know what they can realistically do since work are giving me adjustments apparently. I suppose who judges if they are reasonable... I think a medical professional would hold more sway than a charity worker. We’ll see. I hope you feel better that sounds like an awful situation to be in all day! I only had explosive sickness and diarrhoea in an AA truck... at least you were in the hospital and at home. I was throwing up out the side of the cab along the A11 in the middle of the night sitting on a plastic bag in my own filth. It’s a tale I may tell in full another day if anyone wants a laugh...!
Sorry to hear read about your worries at work Edinbird but its probably not the write time to be making any decisions until you know how your health is surely they know that as well can you not check it out with Macmillam xx
Thinking about you all xx
I've had the most awful day, woken by trixie at 6 am and unfortunately i started with horrifying explosive diarrhoea but worried sick as i had a scan appointment and really didn't want to cancel just incase, done cry for help texting to all family and fantastic friends coz i had no imodium, luckily friend popped in before 8am with some, having to laugh now she's seen me bald and knickerless running to the bathroom, got that kinda of sorted, but to top that her lovely daughters dog died yesterday of liver cancer and her daughter is also pregnant and getting induced tonight, I was finally ok to attend my scan left home for 10 am sister having to drive my car very scary, only to take bad again in the hospital with dizziness sickness headache fatigue kicking in more after Monday's chemo , chemo ward said if diarrhoea continues they'll take me into rehydrate me any way apart from scary sounds I'm feeling much better, so sorry but had to tell someone and your all my beautiful support.
On a positive note I've also got tiny hair reappearing but still have a few more chemos to go xx
I have good news on Lexi. Her test results are back and they are all clear, so she doesn't have meningitis. 😊 They are discharging her this evening. Such as relief after all the worry and so good that my sister in law can finally sleep in her own bed.
That’s wonderful news about Lexi, I bet they are sighing with relief xx
Thank you for all your kind thoughts xx I’ve calmed down a bit now. I need to find out what their thoughts are and what adjustments they are suggesting and make it quite clear what is coming up and I could be sick at any time and not up to my best.
Because everything is unknown I’ve been saving my sick leave - I get 6 months full and 6 months half pay so it’s not as if I’m short, but I suppose I’ve always been worried about how long this will go on for and any recurrence since I have the most difficult type to treat. I can apply for full pay to continue for longer if needed and it should do for people in active treatment for cancer, I know other people who got that extension.
My job always has defined me. I have no children, through choice, and I’m not the most sociable person - I have a few close friends and that’s it. I’ve always put everything into my job, I don’t take many holidays, I always check my emails when I’m off! I guess I just feel like I’ve lost my identity. I now can’t contemplate going back to the office and I know my old job is no more. All the new ones are in other locations and this Barrying cancer makes me not want to spend hours getting to other offices. I could just do the interview and not care if I get it, and take the project pool gamble. I could take a job at a lower grade but with the tax the way it is up here I won’t actually lose out on much and I’ll get on call allowances. It’s just having to be in this process and potentially make these decisions for a point in the future that I don’t know what I’ll want to do and what I’m able to do.
Bottom line I’ll still have a job so I’ll still have all my benefits as there is a no redundancy policy. Might have a little less pay. Might have a lot less time due to travelling. It’s just getting my head round all of this as well as how much boob is coming off and whether the cancer is gone that is making my head spin. I’ll keep you informed don’t worry!! I really appreciate everyone’s love and support 💕🌈
Nettienoo, your afternoon tea looks scrummy. It's made me hungry! Glad your day turned out better.
Susie, your hair growth is similar to mine - I have little hairs coming through at the sides as well. I have also got black hair coming through in the nape of my neck which no one can see unless I put my hair in a ponytail. Can't wait to have it cut after chemo finishes as it needs a good tidy up now.
Daisy what a pain that you're having to put up with the spots again. Enjoy your LGFB session tomorrow. You deserve a bit of pampering.
Rosina how was it today? Hope you get some sleep tonight.
I have good news on Lexi. Her test results are back and they are all clear, so she doesn't have meningitis. 😊 They are discharging her this evening. Such as relief after all the worry and so good that my sister in law can finally sleep in her own bed.
Earlier today, I met with the oncologist who indicated that I should write off July and August for radiotherapy/recovery and then think about resuming normality in September. Herceptin will also continue 3 weekly but will be given at home. He did say the nurse would stay with me for 2 hours afterwards each time in case of any reaction. Not too sure how this will all work out when I return to work but we'll see.
I'm really worried about work because of the whole academisation thing and the fact that there will be a new headteacher. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to do my job which is very full on and make a good impression on people who don't know me when I'm so below par. I know I will have a phased return but I currently feel a million miles away from being ready to face any of that.
Off to make dinner and distract myself from worrying.
Have a good evening everyone.
I can't begin to imagine what you are going through at the moment with your job. I learned many years ago that diligence and dedication to the job don't necessarily reap rewards. You must start to put yourself and your health first. I wouldn't attend the meeting, you haven't got a crystal ball, so how can you possibly say what adjustments you would need. In my case surgery should have been 3 to 6 weeks after chemo, it's going to be 9. As you say you won't know what further treatment, if any, you'll require afterwards. You can't second guess how your recovery will go and how soon you can drive, never mind time out to do your exercises if you're having and of any sort of anc. On top of all this you have to think about your mental health too. You've got more than enough to deal with at the moment with this Barrying bc. Take care and put yourself first! Sending you hugs❤❤❤❤❤❤
Edinbird, it’s awful that they are even considering you going through interview at this time.
Susie, it’s great news to hear your hair is coming back.
Rosina, hope today has gone well.
The PICC. Can stay in, vascular said that it has about 2 more cm, before it can no longer be used, but he’s happy it can stay in for the last dose of chemo 🎉🎉
I then went for a lovely afternoon tea with my daughter and my sister 💕
so it turned out to be a better day than I thought this morning.
I went off sick after my second operation.
I also thought I could do bits here and there but both H1 and mum were adamant that I was to be staying home. My GP has also been excellent through out as has my Headmaster.
My 1st month off allowed me to get my arm back to a good state ( arm exercises) it would have been crazy to have gone back to school in January as we sometimes have to use ‘team teach’ techniques to remove kiddies out of a learning space and this means my arm would have been used. I also used to drive a school minibus with up to 8 children in it- I would - no way would that have been sensible in a January. Chemotherapy started in February. I am so glad I took my full sick leave. It ends on the 29.06.2019. I don’t regret it. I will return to work in September in a much better place physically, emotionally and mentally. I am glad I did my short lunch visits but when the neutrophils dropped to low levels and I had all the delays I didn’t go in at all. I have just kept my head informed with my progress ( via email). Goodness knows nobody genuinely thanks you for going the extra mile.
Your sanity and health come first. You are not defined as a person by your work however much you are attached to it.
Edinbird I dont know how you are working in the first place let alone have to worry about being interviewed. It is totally out of order. You may be better just going off sick, assuming you will be paid. Surely they cant do anything about your job if you are sick. Its not as if you would make this up is it? I dont think you should go to a meeting tomorrow. Sometimes when we think we are doing something for the best it all backfires. I know when I went back to work after my eldest sister was tragically killed in a diving accident it was terrible. I thought I needed to work as thats what you are meant to do but trying to deal with people, some of whom were really nasty, with a fragile mind was extremely hard and it got to me in the end and I had to go off sick for much longer. Im sure the law would be on your side if they did anything with your post. It is so unfair and you are certainly not fit for interview. Think its time to get the medics on your side. Can your GP not advise you? Sending you a great big hug x
Susie your hair growth is very impressive. I feel a bit of a fraud as I am going to my LGFG session tomorrow and I have all my hair,some eyebrows and some lashes. I do look truly awful though and I am covered in spots (except on my face) so they may be able to do something for me.