Cassy - The Docetaxel / Taxotere is certainly the most evil drug ever - just so many s/e it's unreal . You certainly aren't going cuckoo at all - I thought after having the last one that I should feel relieved ( I did) , on top of the world - certainly don't !!! I am now nearly 3 wks post last one - legs feel like lumps lead , finger nails look bruised in parts and feel I've trapped them in the door , soooo tired etc etc - and yes, I do think others think that we all should feel great - just really can't understand how we all feel unless one has been there !! So many psychological / emotional aspects to it for sure. Do hope you feel better soon, it really is hard at times isn't it. Sending best wishes , Mechele X X
Firstly, good luck Debbie, I hope it all goes as well as can be expected.
Secondly, I am on day 10 of the last Docetaxel, I seem to go through stages of what side effect is worse for a few days... All over body aches and pains, tingling and painful feet, toenail and fingernail pain, earache, awful mouth or my current top of the list tummy ache, bloated, struggling to eat and feeling sick Sorry to moan, but I am back at my lowest again, private moments of tears - I feel like I have had enough. I know that hopefully in a few days it should all be over, well the worst of it anyway.
Is it me or do people think, you have had your last chemo, give it three days and you should be feeling on top of the world??? I am not including nearest and dearest in this, as they actually know what you're going through. Maybe it is all in my head and I am going a bit cuckoo...
I am sure next time I post I will be positivity personified!!!
Yay! My portacath is out! No going back now chemo really is over. It was nice to be going to the hospital for a positive reason instead of the gut wrenching feeling before each chemo,session. Rads planning appointment on Friday then two weeks with no hospital before rads start.
Debbie, I will be thinking of you on Thursday. If you can get through chemo you can get through surgery. I found front fastening tops and pyjamas very useful and carried my drains around in a small bag. I didn't need too many painkillers and my wounds healed up well. They are both very flat and neat. I have religiously moistursed them with aveeno cream. I was ok with lookIng at my scars. I have found the hair thinning and loss of eyelashes and eyebrows more difficult to deal with.
well done for getting back to work Sissy. I go back part time when rads start. I'm a bit nervous about it as I've been off so long. Good for you on starting wieight loss too. I still feel fat and puffy from chemo and have nose sense of taste and really watery eyes. Oh well at least next week I won't have to go back and do it again!
Love to all
Hi Debbie. I have large boobs and had an aux clearance and breast reduction on my cancer boob so I am very lopsided. In hospital I managed with v loose t shirts and vest tops. I did buy front buttoning pjs but have never worn them because they are not comfortable. I hate being in hospital and came home as soon as I could. I carried my drain around in a cotton bag for life but I kept dropping it and getting it caught in door handles! Luckily the seal is very strong. My wound got a nasty infection which meant the healing took a lot longer and I had to go back to the hospital every other day to have the dressing changed. It felt like it went in for ever and I really missed having lovely deep bubble baths. I bought some sleep bras and soft bra tops on line and wore them all the time. They were really comfortable they supported my new boob and stopped my old one from hitting my knees. Now I wear sports bras all the time or I have a couple on non wired Royce bras that are comfy and give good support. I'm hoping to get the other one reduced when the treatments finished. Good luck for Thursday.
Hi Ellie, I'm finding this last one harder to bounce back from than before. I'm day 14 and for the first time have heavy legs and numb feet. I'm more tired than I have ever been. It's so annoying as I just want to get back to normal but I suppose we have to give it time. Mentally I feel good which is a relief as I got really down after number five.
If you do continue to feel bad I would give the hospital a ring. I'm in tomorrow to have my port removed and I'm going to mention how tired I am. I know the effects are cumulative and I guess six doses of poison takes its toll!
At least no more!
I hope everyone is ok
Ok ladies... Day 21 and my legs are still not doing what I tell them, ankles still swelling and still feels like needles going through my nails! Shouldn't it all be better by now?!
It's lovely to read the positivity, it's good to be making plans. Fiona and Debbie, I hope you feel that you've moved forward even though you have the surgery to come. I had number 7 this week but I'm now going to count down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I'm feeling a bit dodgy today but I had a great day yesterday. Had my hair cut and dyed. Used Daniel field which is organic and vegetable based. I saw myself transformed in front of the mirror....hair coloured beautifully, made the condition look so much better too. With my slap on I look more like my old self. Hubby kept telling me how good I looked which was nice. I'm glad I persevered with the cold cap now. Wishing you all minimum SEs over weekend.
Claire I went to Pompeii 2 years ago and it was BRILLIANT!
Yes i I am getting back to normal. Gradually!! My legs are still a nuiscance - I walked to the chemist yesterday and at one stage had to change direction to miss a car - I thought my legs were going to give way! I didn't want to fall in the middle of the road. Maybe I was going out a bit too soon.
I am very fluffy! Just like everyone else hardly any eyebrows and no eyelashes. I have booked my look good day but I have to wait a few weeks. I only have one more week off before I go back to work now!
Great news Fiona. Isn't it nice to think that you don't have to go back and do it all again and start making plans for the future.
the look good feel better is excellent. I was given a fantastic bag of goodies and a make up lesson which was great. I've also had reflexology throughout treatment and I'm sure it's helped with SEs.
im now over the worst of T number three and feel good. I booked a holiday last night for two weeks after rads finish. Maybe a lite rash but I need something to look forward to. We're off to Italy near Pompeii on the Amalfi coast. Both my sons are coming and I can't wait!
Been busy this week as we have put our house on the market and I have two viewings today so I've been cleaning and tidying! It's nice to feel I can although I do have to pace myself.
I hope everyone is ok.
Plots of love
Morning all my last chemo was the easiest yet. I was so happy to walk out of there and hope to never return! After picking up the children from school it was beautiful and sunny so I went to my allotment and planted lots of lettuces for the summer, and a couple of pumpkins for Halloween.
Now I'm just going to take it easy for a week. I finally have my Look Good Feel Better day on Monday which I'm looking forward too, then I have scans on Tuesday (hate that lying in a tube for over an hour). On Wednesday I have a Cancer nutrition course at the Maggies centre and on Thursday my weekly reflexology session. Hopefully by Friday I'll be feeling fine again.
My sister is also coming to stay for the next week to help me get through the difficult days. Debbie, Ellie hope that you are getting back to normal now. Classy, we'll be feeling good soon knowing that chemo is behind us is such a good feeling. Elizabeth I'm now counting down your last few sessions, keep going, I'm in your pocket!
Hi Fiona , thinking of you this morning and hope all goes ok - final one 😁 Yehh , despite feeling rough for a while . Hated the dexamethasone - lack of sleep etc etc, but no more for you to take after this . What a great thing having your makeup done, and looked fab I imagine - although trying to visualise the hair 😂. I'm starting to feel so much better, still have heavy legs but trying to increase walking distance. Do believe I now have a little fluff appearing to head , no eyebrows, a few lashes , but they will come.
Hope everyone else doing ok , sending best wishes , Mechele .
I'm on day 17 after the last T and still waiting to feel better! I feel okay driving now but walking is still a challenge. I am sure it will happen in the next couple of days. Yesterday my eyes went funny, which again has happened in the third week each time. I'm getting so frustrated with not being able to do things! Sorry - winger over!
Hi everyone, it sounds as though it's all going well! I have my final T in the morning, and have been taking my steroids today. They have such a strange effect on me, I've spent the evening alternating between crying and ranting at everyone! Oops, never mind I'm sure they'll get over it! I had quite a decent week with the side effects final subsiding on about day 17: I went to London, spent a day at work and also got my hair cut and a veg tint put on it. I just couldn't stand it any more and my hairdresser said it would be fine. It looked great, just with a very thin around on the top, like an old man's bald patch. Then I went to Selfridges and got my make up done at Bobbi Brown before going into work. Everyone said they couldn't believe how well I was looking, and I didn't let on that it had taken me 3 hours to look like that....
I now can't wait to get tomorrow done and will then settle down to wallow on the sofa for a couple of weeks. Elizabeth hope you are still doing well, we won't be finished until you're through your weeklies, we'll all be cheering you on! Michele hope your feeling a bit better each day. XX
i hope all doing well. Well done for reaching the finish line Cassy! I am on day 10 of third T and yesterday the fog lifted and I actually feel well and I know i won't have to do it again!! I got through the SEs by tell g myself it wouldn't last. I am sick of the disgusting taste in my mouth and no tastebuds though! I have also had a call from the hospital today to come in to have my port removed next Tuesday. Another milestone! Can't wait As it means chemo is really over!
My new hair is growing well now although it's a lot greyer than I would like! I have a shampoo called grow me that I have started using. I I am going to have to have my thin straggly cold cap hair trimmed as it is in the most horrendous condition. I also intend to dye it with a vegetable dye as soon as I can!
Kim how are you? I hope you are through the worst as we are both on the same day.
sissy. Mechele. Ellie. Fiona, Debbie and anyone else I hope all is well!
lots of love
it is nice to see that we are all coming to the end of chemo. I had my last Docetaxel yesterday and had my PICC line removed I just have the going downhill and SE's to contend with, which usually starts Thursday/Friday. I really do hate the "T" chemo, let's hope it will be better this time.10 injections to go, I will be counting them down,
I have my Rads planning on Monday and start the treatment on Wed 1st June. So feeling pretty cheerful at the moment. Hair has a downy covering, eyelashes are sparse and stubbly, eyebrows are almost all gone...thank God for Wunderbrow! I have just bought the Nioxin step 2 starter kit to encourage hair growth...has anyone bought tried this already?
Good luck to all who still have chemo coming up and I hope the people who are having surgery soon get through it as well as possible and recover quickly.
Love to all of you!
from Cassy x
good to see we are all coping with SEs and further treatment options. I am day 7 after last T and definitely feeling better. My mouth is sore, I have no sense of taste and a very dodgy stomach, but aches and pains gone and I have more energy. I have felt as if I am shedding chemo as I shed layers of clothes in this lovely weather and a new me is emerging battered but not beaten!
It's time to look forward now even though I have everything crossed when I think of the future as I don't want to tempt fate! We have just put our house on the market as we will be moving into the new one we are building in the autumn. I haven't really dared to think about it all happening up,to now but I am starting to dream of the future! I am going to buy a new horse over the summer as I had to pull out of buying one when I was diagnosed and life went on hold. BC makes you feel very vulnerable about what's in store! We are also planning a family holiday for July as both sons will be able to come. The problem is we can't decide where! Warm , nice beach, good food and short flight are on the wish list! Searching will keep me occupied over the next couple of weeks!
Stiil can't believe we have all reached or nearly reached the end! I get quite tearful when I think of what we have all coped with. Thanks for coming through it with me everyone. We must keep the thread going as we face rads, surgery and returning to a new normal!
Feeling a bit reflective tonight!
Hi Fiona , good you got date sorted and can plan , can't remember exactly what you are having done ( was it a reduction as well to both ). Not long to your last one and recover. 'The last sting in its tail' so to speak , as was back in hospital over the weekend 😨, had been praying just one of the 6 Tax without a 'last minute.com' holiday, but wasn't to be . Boy , these tax have really wiped me out and legs feel like lumps of lead. The back pain , with spasms was awfull over last few days, ? due to the 5 GCSF , but wearing off now. Looking forward to having my first night out on Saturday at the golf club for a meal, catch up with friends and my first glass of 🍷 since November- at last some normality.
Hope everyone else are doing ok , best wishes to all , Mechele X
Hi all I met my plastic surgeon this morning then had some "before" photographs taken. All very surreal and a bit yucky when they describe the surgery in detail (wouldn't want that job!) but also reassuring that it's all fairly routine for them. Have got my surgery date, 9th June so now just need to get through the last chemo and side effects. Not looking forward to that but will be nice to have done it. Feeling quite well today at last, it seems to take longer to recover each time, so I'm on my way to London to get a bit of work done.... How is everyone doing? Progress report please, we're nearly there! Fiona XX
Hi Kim, hope you feeling a little brighter today and yes , the horrible taste isn't good, but hopefully will pass soon.
Fiona - hope you doing ok and will be great re the reduction and some gorgeous new underwear. I had lumpectomy as my surgeon said I was ample enough ( 34 did/e ) and that a successful outcome was the same as a ms . Will be interesting to see effects of rads on my boob, but if I didn't like the end result, she could do something about it - will wait and see. At this stage, and my age etc, it the last thing I want to think of
Elizabeth, the 6 wks will fly by, when I think back to 18 wks prior to chemo, seemed endless. In no time we will be reading that you've just had your last one .
Debbie, we will all be thinking of you on the 19th , the leading up to surgery is always the worst.
Sissy, pleased your planning went ok , have mine on 23/5/. Hope the tattoos don't look like big blackheads 😁
Claire, hope you not feeling too bad and able to enjoy a bit of fresh air. I too often think back to day of diagnosis and it seeming like a bad dream and not me and just want me back. ( plus hair etc ). Now eyelashes on their way, hope I can retain the few I have left. Had last of the 5 GCSF this morning and look forward to these bone pains going, feel like my back is breaking at times. Still coughing, runny nose , but so far so good, if I can get to Tues, think I'll be ok. GP , when I saw her spoke to oncology, who said a case of wait and see and not to prescribe any preventative antibiotics, still not worried either way as out of my control, but feeling hopeful 😊
To anyone who I may have missed, hope you're doing ok too.
Best wishes to everyone and hope you enjoy this lovely weather , Mechele X X
Hi everyone, I'm glad the rads planning went ok Sissy and you met some people with positive post bc stories. It all helps us dare to think we can put this behind us and move on! I am in the thick of T SEs right now. Achy, tired and feel pretty yuck but I'm taking it easy and counting the hours till it lifts! I would really like to go and sleep in the sun but I know I've got to be really careful so it's under the umbrella instead. Mechele and Kim how are you both doing?
I am pleased to say I have definite hair growth now and my thin patches are looking better. I am so impatient to get back to feeling that I look ok but I know it it will take a while. I want the puffy bloated steroid feeling to wear off too. I wonder how long eyelashes and brows take! If only I could wave a magic wand and be back to normal!
I was reflecting on this whole experience yesterday and I still can't really believe it all happened. I know I'm nor at the end yet but I still feel it's all some kind of horrible dream! Thank goodness I found support here as its been a fantastic outlet for my feelings and fears and has helped so much.
I hope everyone has the best weekend possible
lots of love ,
It’s been a while since I posted but I have been reading about your progress. Congratulations to those who have finished. I hope your side effects are more bearable knowing that you don’t have to go through it again in 3 weeks time.
Yesterday I had number 6 of my 12 weekly taxols. My side effects are minimum. I feel fine on day 1 after chemo (that’s today), day 2 and 3 I am tired and have stomach pains, day 4 I feel a bit better, day 5 and 6 I go to work and feel fine and it starts all over again on day 7. I feel like I am on a treadmill and my life is very boring at the moment. My nose is runny and I am having a lot of nose bleeds and getting headaches. But I have also had hay fever. I am much less fit than I was and get more breathless walking upstairs. I have continued with the cold cap and my hair is doing well. Still getting thinner but, no bald patches and I don’t look like a cancer patient. I have very thin eyebrows and eyelashes. Another 6 weeks feels like a long time – some of you will have finished your rads by the time I finish chemo.
Look after yourselves and get some sunshine.
Ellie I'm so glad you had a good day. Debbie hope all went well this morning. I have an appointment with the surgeon again on Monday so will be keen to hear how you got on. I had wanted a double mx originally but have ended up being booked for lumpectomy plus reduction and lift as the surgeon said there is good evidence that recurrence risk is the same or better. I'm really happy with the plan (especially the reduction and lift as my size will go from FF to C. I'm looking forward to getting all new underwear! Today I'm still struggling a bit with side effects from T number 5, even though it's now day 14. Every day does seem to get a little bit easier though. I'm due to have my final infusion a week tomorrow.
Claire, Kim, take it easy ladies, I'm still in your pocket while you get through the side effects. Just remember to drink, breathe, and think that it's only a few more days before you'll start to feel a bit better each day. Fiona. XX
I had a wonderful day at my daughter's graduation thank you everyone! But I experienced tiredness like I haven't know!! I was out for 12 hours and my brother got much better at driving the wheelchair by the end! Off for my scan and tattoos now...
I hope the appointment goes well today Debbie. I agree with Claire that my surgery was not as bad as chemo! I had 2 ops as they had to go back and clear lymph nodes due to what they found in the first op. I wasn't really given options so just did what I was told! The one thing that was useful was bringing in extra help in the week after the ops as I was more limited even than during chemo! Particularly if you have to carry a drain around with you, the practicalities are really hard and the first night having my adult daughter use lots of cushions to prop me in bed so the drain couldn't move was really helpful. This might be irrelevant for people with able husbands but I live on my own.
Hi Debbie, good luck with the surgeon today. I had surgery first and as everything was so raw at the time I'm not sure I did ask everything I should have. I was in shock. As I had quite small boobs an mx was the only option on the right and with hindsight I'm glad it was as they found much more after the op than initially thought. I don't regret it and I was not offered immediate recon as I have to have rads. On the left I had a lupmectony as they thought they found a small tumour. It turned out to be lots of DCIS so back I went for mx number two plus axillary clearance on the right! No rads needs on left so I do wish I had pushed a bit more on recon that side.
the more I think about things now I am getting surer I want reconstruction. I'm going to have to wait till a year after rads. However, I'm trying to think of it as a positive as it gives me time to get fit and strong and also hopefully less likely to have recurrence as it will a long time after my first op in October last year.
i would say be firm in what you want and ask about all the options. Recovery from surgery was ok. Nothing is as hard as chemo!
i hope this helps!
I am definitely chemo demob happy. I forgot my injection yesterday ( I only have one 24 hours after chemo) so did it 4 hours late. Then I forgot to take my anti sickness meds! Feeling the effects of T coming today so plan a lazy day!
i hope everyone is ok