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July 2017

Member

Re: July 2017

Hi tatyana.
It’s lovey to hear from you. What a great post.
You’re absolutely right, that in some ways things will be better. They are. The good things in my life are in technicolour now and the rubbish things barley get a thought. I still get moments where I’m terrified, but not very often.
How are you? Xxx
Member

Re: July 2017

Pressed the wrong button and posted before I'd finished!
Angela and Mishy, you both should give yourselves a big hug for coming so far and for putting so much of your precious energy into caring for others, bless you. Anniversaries, scans etc are always a hard time. And yes, you're allowed to cry and to still be scared sometimes! You can never go back to life as it was BC (before cancer!), but in many ways it will be better, and you will definitely appreciate the good things more.

I had 15 years before my recurrence (which was nearly a year ago and to quote the great Elton John, I'm still standing!), and I can honestly say that I lived in a different way and got more out of my life than I would've done pre cancer. Because I finally grasped how precious life is. Not that I was living some kind of perfect happy life, but I had more courage to do the important things and not take anything for granted.
You are two very brave ladies, like so many others on here, and you'll keep on coming through!
And now please let's have some proper spring weather, it's what we all need.🌷🌷🌷
Member

Re: July 2017


Just popped in to see how all you guys are doing.
Member

Re: July 2017

You’re welcome shi. Good luck. 👍 x
Shi Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: July 2017

Thanks ftf 😘😘💕💕✨✨shi xx
Shi Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: July 2017

Ftf, I’ve pmd you 💕💕✨✨shi xx
Member

Re: July 2017

It will be Angela you seem like me the one who holds it together and always strong and there for everyone.. But we are still human with feelings and sometimes we need a little TLC!!! Take care and speak soon xxx
Member

Re: July 2017

It will be Angela you seem like me the one who holds it together and always strong and there for everyone.. But we are still human with feelings and sometimes we need a little TLC!!! Take care and speak soon xxx
Member

Re: July 2017

Thanks Michelle. I think it’s just an emotional time. I’ve just cried imagining you pretending you’d been to the town while having the cancer monster at your door.
If I cry tonight I think some of it will be relief. It seems absolutely crazy that a year has passed and we’ve been through so much. I suppose we were off our heads for quite a bit of it, so no wonder it went quickly. 😀
And my dad wouldn’t want me being morose either. X
Member

Re: July 2017

Ah Angela bless you i know how you feel re your dad anniversarys and significant dates do get to us im like you try to hide anxiety from others then certain apps or dates trigger it on the whole i keep it under wraps the aches and pains must be something we all get after this you are young Angela so don't blame you for feeling like that im slightly older at nearly 47 but feeling like an old lady sometimes its my sons 21st next wed a year to the day i was at one stop clinic biopsy scans and being told sorry it looks suspicious try not to think about it til results back i remember walking iut with ive got cancer in my head then pretending i had been to town after work xx Angela i hope you can enjoy your meal if you need to cry, have a cry you are bound to feel it today sending you my 💖
Member

Re: July 2017

P.s. forgot to add; Michelle, I know it’s easier said than done,, but I chose to ignore statistics. I once put my stats into the nhs predict tool. Off the top of my head it gave me just over a 60% chance of being around in ten years. That’s just not good enough for me. Unless I get hit by a bus I’ll bloody well be here.

None of these stats take into account things like age, general health, over all wellbeing and a millions others things that make us all unique. X
Member

Re: July 2017

Oh, and my period seems to have returned today. 😳 an unwanted cancerversary gift I suppose
Member

Re: July 2017

Yeah Carole, I agree it’s probably impossible to ever feel like we did pre cancer. Sometimes I almost feel like I’m pretending things are normal. Everyone around me seems to think everything’s normal again. I try to keep any anxiety to myself.

Michelle, I’m with you on the memory loss. I’ve still got chemo brain. Starting to think this is the new normal. Also have aches and pains since treatment finished. I couldn’t get to the end of the hokey cokey with my grandson the other day I was absolutely knackered. I’m 43 and feel old.
It’s my sort of cancerversary today. The day I was told my boob and lymph nodes looked highly suspicious but that I was in safe hands. 😳
Also the 2 year anniversary of the day my dad just dropped down dead at 69.
The family are all going out for a meal tonight. I’m going to try my best not to get drunk and cry. X
Member

Re: July 2017

Thanks for the heads up on that Carole i suppose stress would make total sense given what we have all been through!!! Im pleased its not painful procedure!!!!
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi Mishy
Just those got I’d let you know I had an endoscopy a couple of years ago for really bad indigestion and chest pain/upper abdominal pains. I’d been very stressed because of another medical issue and taking ibuprofen for it. I didn’t feel or know anything about endoscopy. I opted for throat spray and tranquilising drug. Mine was diagnosed as gastritis. Took omeprazole, lansoprazole and ranitidine for ages and changed diet and it eventually got better. No alcohol for a year or so because it made it much worse. I still have to be careful with diet and alcohol and can’t take anti inflammatories, but otherwise ok now.
You will probably find yours is also down to stress and possibly taking NSAIDs.
Member

Re: July 2017

Angela Carole good to hear from you both Carole i had a bone scan for same thing was all clear must be quite common rib pain my onc said its off rads still get shooting pains under arm and in boob having an endoscopy in a couple of weeks plagued with tge indegestion etc since chemo started but thry feel its unrelated but needs investigating im hoping everything is ok with that interesting about the gastro resistant asprin apparently there is a trial for TN called add asprin but my onc won't let me take part due to my stomach issues i really wanted to do it too as i have no other drugs to take just have to hope everything worked well i may try those asprin anyway I've othing to lose!! Does anyone find they get conflicting info from different professionals, my onc told me slightly different outcomes to surgeon he said i was over 50 % in my favour not to get a recurrence yet surgeon said 80% in my favour quite a drop it really at first it shook me up and thought its this stupid bloody TN status, not what i wanted to hear at my follow up sent my anxiety levels through the roof, although he did say after 3 years the odds keep getting higher then after 5 year's its very good odds!!! Just starting to feel ok again, So im bloody pleased there's no breast related apps till my mammo which is soon 😨 I hope your diep reconstruction is ok you both Angela that is a bit of a 💩 having to put weight on isn't it!! You already have both already been through the ringer so its a shame you have to wait for surgery but im sure you will love your new boob

Tatanya missa and everyone hope you are all good sending you 💖 bye for now girls i will def enjoy Bamburgh xxx
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi ladies

it’s hard to go back to pre  cancer normal, because we no longer feel normal. So many body changes and new aches and pains, not to mention anxiety over mets.  I just had a bone scan for back and rib pain  but got the all clear. 

Feel the fear I’m hoping to go for DIEP option too but not seen my Breast surgeon yet to discuss.  I’m using it as an excuse not to diet and eat cake 😀

Member

Re: July 2017

Happy Easter ladies.

I think we’re just trying to regain some sense of normal now. Wow Michelle, no appointments for a year. I’ve got my reconstruction to look forward to (diep) so it’s still all go for me. Apparently I need to put a bit of weight on to make a new boob. I never thought I’d find myself in that position.

Miss a, I get my cbd oil from a shop in town. It’s the type that sell bongs etc. It’s 4000% for £40. I take 3 drops under my tongue ever day. The aspirin are the gastro resistant ones 75mg.
I don’t think we’ve got anything to lose by giving them a go. At the very least my hot flushes are much better when taking the oil.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Michelle, hope you have a lovely time in bamburgh. We spend a lot of time there. X
Member

Re: July 2017

Hello ladies hope you are well and enjoying life haven't been on in a while trying hard to move on a little had follow up with onc wants to see me in a year wow no more apps for a while just the dreaded 1st mammo and cancerversary looming starting to feel a lot better in general i can still get tired easily and my memory is rediculous 🤔 but on the whole feeling much better have a weekend away at Bamburgh coming up so i hope the weather improves!!! im hoping the quietness on the thread means good things with you all 😊 wishing you all a very happy Easter 🐣💖 to you all 💖
Member

Re: July 2017

Hello all, sorry it's been so long since I last posted. I've been very much trying to focus on getting on with my life after treatment. I finished radiotherapy on 8th Feb and I was fortunate to get away with just one bit of patchy skin under my armpit.
Started with lymphodema though which has set me back a bit. I saw the nurse who gave me a compression sleeve and glove and we're just seeing how things go.
Seeing the radiotherapy consultant next week, presumably to check everything is healing okay. I'm hoping he'll tell me there's no evidence of the disease but I'm assuming you have a scan before they tell you that? I don't really know, I might ring my BC nurse tomorrow.
Fab news Mishy and Carole! Really chuffed for both of you!
FeelTheFear where do you get your cbd oil and what strength do you use? I looked into it but they can't give any advice in case of being sued for giving medical advice without a licence or something. Thinking about starting baby aspirin too.
Did my will and funeral plan this week as I didn't have one and Amnesty International are offering free will writing throughout March. Now I own my flat (finally completed in Feb!) I thought it best to have one. Bit grim doing a funeral plan at 31 but at least I've made my wishes known.
Went to Marrakech for my birthday at the end of Feb, managed to avoid the 'beast from the east' at least.
Hope you're all doing okay and have a great weekend 😊
Member

Re: July 2017

Thank you Tatanya i definitely feel a slight shift in my thoughts and feelings im definitely a little better than i was a few weeks back, but its like you Kimi and everyone else says our feelings are just that and sometimes no matter how much you try to not give into them sometimes you can't help it 😊
Its lovely to be able to come on here and share and yes you truly are all a lovely bunch... Keep on smiling ladies spring is on its way new life and all that 😊
Member

Re: July 2017

Kimi and Mishy,
Big hugs to you both. I can honestly say, from my first round of the big beast, that it does get easier. A time will come when it's not on your mind all day every day. It's always there, but I really believe you can learn to use that knowledge to help you to truly appreciate the good things in life-- such as the lovely friends we've made here.
Don't ever say that you"should" be feeling this or that. Your feelings are just that, feelings, there's no right and wrong, and there isn't a pecking order: She's worse off than me so I shouldn't feel so bad???!!! It's not like that. We can all share these feelings and understand better than anyone outside BC World, and it doesn't matter what each person's outcome is. We're in it together!
❤️❤️❤️
Member

Re: July 2017

Angela Carole Tatanya 💖 sending hugs your way too x
Member

Re: July 2017

Kimi i think if we were all REALLY honest with ourselves we would realise we probably all feel like this sone days im great then wham there it is feeling 💩 again
I know it sounds daft but i feel in no mans land a bit re treatment ending and apps no hormone injections or tablets to take so i have to go with tge stats i was given and hope the are in my favour!!!
I definitely think it could be a little PTSD and our brains are going to have to adjust to the bew normal as mine certainly doesn't want to return to pre bc no matter how much i convince myself so instead im distracting myself as much as possible when i return to work hopefully I will be a bit mire emotionally stable!!!! I also think i may be suffering some menapause symptoms too!!!
Hope you enj5your day out Kimi hugs and best wishes to everyone else me im going carpet shopping 😊
Member

Re: July 2017

Oh Mishy, I’m so with you, I’m really struggling with all of this too, I know I should be feeling relieved, the Onocologist & Surgeon have sent me on my way, been told to expect a mammogram appt for April, will do another bone scan at some point & got Zolendronic infusion next month, but I can’t stop worrying & feel so blooming down all the time. I’ve had a backache since last Friday, you can imagine what’s going through my head!, think I’m going to have to phone BC nurse today it’s making me very miserable, but then I think I don’t want to hear any bad news, so should I bury my head? someone said it’s a bit like post traumatic stress syndrome after treatments, I’m beginning to think that’s right.  I worked all through treatments when I could, for some sort of normal, that was for me, no other reason, because it wasn’t good being at home watching daytime TV & “thinking”!!  The tiredness and aches get me all the time too,  I want to feel how I felt before this all started, but don’t think that is going to happen somehow.

So, I too don’t want to be A Debbie Downer, but hope we can help each other with our honesty, it makes me feel a bit better knowing I’m not the only one with these feelings and I also know some have even more worries and for that I feel guilty moaning and hope you understand that I wish you well and that you get solutions and some peace from this dreadful thing we didn’t expect to have to deal with. 

Anyway, positive note, I’m off for lunch out with a friend today, so keeping occupied, the housework is still waiting......

 

Love, hugs & hand holding to all xxxxxxx

Member

Re: July 2017

Tatanya thank you lovely lady there's no guarantee obviously they are only stats at tge end of day but as you say we need to be grateful for what we have been through and where we are at, you are truly an inspiration to all of us on here im so pleased that the meds are agreeing with you and you can access the treatment you so deserve Tatanya 💖👍
Member

Re: July 2017

Mishy, my lovely, I'm so glad the news was good! You're one strong lady and you've had a heck of a year, but now you are coming out the other side. There will be ups and downs, it's not easy to get this stuff out of your head, but you'll get there. Now have yourself some fun! You deserve it! Big hugs.🌷🌷❤️❤️
Member

Re: July 2017

Great news Mishy. Pleased you got encouraging news. Celebrate 🎉
Member

Re: July 2017

Hello my lovely fellow July ladies was a proper debbie downer yesterday so when you do see my 2 very erratic posts 🤔 well as the song says what a difference a day makes had surgeon app today went really well on the whole very pleased with everything a little fluid in breast but nothing unduly concerning told me what to look out for thickening of skin hardening that type of thing having mammo late April early may, was given a clear explanation of path too, was relieved and happy to hear that even though i hard 19mm of cancer in lymph node iit was a colony of cells rather than a new tumor anf it had remained contained no leakage which he said for the size of the node it was great news my stats for remaining cured/no recurrence are 80% in my favour not bad for a grade 3 stage 2 I'll take that!!! So his parting words were go abd enjoy your life now and enjoy being one if the success stories
Suddenly i thought i have been dwelling on the negative side of this instead of the postives
So im going off again for a little while but will keep looking in on you all but rest assured I'm sending you all my 💖💖💖💖💖 what a bloody fantastically brave 💪 bunch of girls we are 💖
Angela im having gene referral because of my dad but again the think its quite unlikely 💖
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Re: July 2017

I actually want to add that i don't think as such i have depression really but just a little bit of emotional stuff that im dealing with, the GPs are very quick to try to push antidepressants which i think is a little irresponsible really im sure after my counselling session and where now thing my mood will massively improve
Im also looking forward to looking after Grandaughter a couple of days a week, have been taking her to a music class called rhythm time its fun!
Angela best of luck with the genetics stuff im not having a gene test
Tatanya hope you are well lovely and so pleased you are finding the new tablets tolerable
Lovely to hear from you Kimi onwards and upwards ladies and yes we will hold each others hands
Take care 💖
Member

Re: July 2017

Ladies hello 😊 app tomorrow with bc surgeon not sure what it will entail as last saw her post surgery with path results in May 😨 probably to arrange mammo etc cancerversary soon ugh 😝
Was abit gutted that my GP still doesn't think im ready for work return due to the fatigue and arthritis flare up also says i have anxiety eith depression which i refused antidepressants for he wants to see me in 4 weeks to see whether im improving on my own i hope so don't want to go on tablets feeling a bit deflated that i battled through cancer treatment but have ended up with bloody mood related stuff got my where now course at Maggies so hopefully that will help me alot its hard admitting to having a bit of depression i feel like such a wuss when othrt people's outcome has been worse than mine
Im so glad to hear you are all well and enjoying life which i aim to start doing alot more of soon!!!!!!!
Member

Re: July 2017

Hello Lovely Ladies. I too am sorry it’s been a while, but trying to have some normality, but as a couple of you have said, difficult with appointments etc. Saw Oncologist last month, she passed me to surgeon whom I saw today, who is going to arrange for me to have mammogram in April & bone scan later this year, will need another Zolendronic infusion in April & will see Oncologist again in August, but we can’t complain I suppose.
Tatyana, I’m sorry your news wasn’t better, it sounds as though your determination is back now, & great you’ve got a counsellor & a fab GP to help you, good the treatment has started & SE’s aren’t too bad, we’re all with you Lovely, now kick it’s arse, summer is round the corner & waiting for you & lots more Flamingo Bingo.
Missa, I’ll swap you my grey hair for your blonde, I’m desperate to dye it, but better wait a bit longer & let it grow some more too. Hope your doing well.
Mishy, sounds as though that baby is coming along, how lovely for you, I’m tired all the time & don’t have a grandchild to run around after, hoping it’s just the chemo & rads still in my system.
Carole, I know your doing well from our FBook forum, hope you enjoyed St Ives.
Feelthefear, glad you’ve booked yourself a holiday, best medicine, I’ve just had a week inPortugal & would like another, sea & sun - lovely. Enjoy your Grandson, sounds as though you have a lovely relationship, maybe I will get one before long, my daughter & her boyfriend have just bought a house& I know they are really keen to start a family, so who knows??
Hope your ok too Shi?
I think about you all & hope you’re all doing ok, we’re all still here & holding each other’s hands, a little less often maybe but sending you all a big hug & very best wishes. Kim xxxx
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi
I also have a male cousin who had BC in his 40s and my grandmother died of it in her 40s and my sister had it at 43 and new primary BC at 53.
Member

Re: July 2017

Thanks for the info Carole. I didn’t really know any of that. I think one of the main reasons they’ve decided to test me is my male cousin had bc in his 20s. Very unusual apparently.
Michelle, lovely to hear from you. Under my arm was the worst as well. I did have a full lymph clearance but they must of zapped it any way. Yeah, it’s hard to try and switch off with so many apps coming up. It all becomes very real again. X
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi everyone good to hear from you Angela the extra rads were fine just targeted at the site of the tumor so not bad i found the underarm the worst bit of treatment but it was because the surgeon didn't do a clearance of axilla nodes!! My skin was really sore but like you say it settled quickly, its tiredness im really bothered with atm like you i still have a few appointments to go to i see bc surgeon next Wed had a bone scan yesterday my onc on 12th then probably my mammo in April gets a bit 😨 its hard to forget about It with appointments coming up so hopefully things will start to feel a bit more normal
I think when treatments finish you kind of think about it a bit more so i am proactively trying to just put it away 😊
Carole its good to hear from you too nice to see everyone is getting on ok
Tatanya glad to see you are tolerating the new treatment xxx speak soon ladies xx
Member

Re: July 2017

I only had to wait a few weeks for appointment and was there for 40 minutes
Member

Re: July 2017

I saw a lovely young lady from St George’s hospital, London.  I had already drawn out my family tree to show BC trail and gave her a copy.  She asked some questions about that, then why was I asking for test, what did I expect to get out of it and what might I do with results.  We discussed the genes and various outcomes.

 

like most people, i didn’t know that everyone carries BRCA 1 and 2 with two parts in each one (one from mother and one from father).  They actually protect us from breast, ovarian and prostate cancers.  The problem comes when one gene changes or mutates and can no longer protect.  If this happens you have about 90% chance of getting BC, 60% of ovarian and increased chance of prostate for men, can’t remember percentage. When they test it can be i) variant detected that is known to affect cancers, ii) no variant detected (normal result) or iii) variant detected but they don’t know if it is affecting the way the gene is working.   This leaves you/them with a dilemma as they can’t be sure either way. 

The BRCA 2 is the one that affects prostate .  

 

If they think you’ve got a good chance of having it then they offer you test if you want it.  I was given a form to go and get a blood test done.  It takes 6-8 weeks. 

Member

Re: July 2017

What happened at the genetics clinic Carole? I had to fill in forms about family history months ago and now I have to go for an appointment. We’re you there long?
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Re: July 2017

Still a busy time with hospitals one year on from finding BC. Genetic clinic last week, this week Moving Forwards course yesterday, Zolendronic acid infusion today and mammogram tomorrow.
Have a good day ladies xx
Member

Re: July 2017

Morning ladies. Just spotted your posts from last week. I’m trying to put bc to the back of my mind until my next appointments so I’m not logging on much.
Carole, that’s brilliant news. You can breath a sigh of relief. We don’t seem to get many opportunities to do that.
Tatyana, it’s good that your new regime doesn’t seem to have many SEs. I’m sure you could do without any more after what we’ve just been through. You sound really positive. I’ve always thought of bc as a sneaky bully and after suffering from them at school, I’m not going to put up with that now. The gloves are off. 😡
I’m going to have a look for this flamingo bingo. I’ve got a 3 year old grandson. I think he’d love it. He’s back to sleeping over at least once a week now that the house is nearly finished. We adore each other. 😍 he’s an absolute treat.
Michelle, how are you recovering from your extended radio sessions? I found my skin healed really quickly and looked a lot worse than it felt. I agree with taking a step back from forums etc now and again. Sometimes we need a break where we can forget our lives have been blighted by this nasty bugger.
I’ve got lots of appointments coming up. Genetic app this Friday. Me and hubby are getting the metro so we can enjoy a lovey (probably boozy) lunch on the way back.
Then oncologist next month, then plastic surgery initial app after that. We’ve just booked a two week holiday to zante leaving may 24 so any operation will just have to wait.
P.s. I’ve started to take cannabis oil daily (yuk) and also a mini aspirin. Who knows, with my high lymph node involvement it might keep things at bay a bit longer.
X

Member

Re: July 2017

Im really pleased your doing OK on the new drugs tatanya abd starting to get your head around things, you are really strong , its lovely to hear about the flamingo bingo with grandchild too, can't wait for times like that although even at 4 months she is providing me with lots of laughs 😊
Member

Re: July 2017

Mishy, lovely to hear from you! I've now done nearly a week on my new chemo tablets, it's two weeks on and one week off, and so far I'm feeling fine, touch wood!
I'm getting my head around the secondary diagnosis a bit and trying to focus on the good stuff, of which there's lots. Such as playing flamingo bingo with the three-year old granddaughter on Sunday! You've got all that to look forward to with yours!
Just had my first session with counsellor, arranged by my lovely GP. I think it's going to be really useful. One thing she suggested was to think of cancer as a big bully standing over me, and if I don't enjoy my life I'm letting the bully win.
So I'm kicking that big bustard right where it hurts!
Love and hugs to everyone.
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi Carole, that is wonderful news about your scan. Go girl! You can do without that kind of anxiety, but at least you got the right result this time!
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Re: July 2017

Really pleased for you Carole xxx
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi Mishy

I’m not sure if I actually told you good ladies about my liver MRI. I had had a ct
Scan which showed lesions in my liver and so had been sent for an MRI to diagnose. After a very worrying few weeks it turned out to be benign fatty infiltration, which was a huge relief. I’ve now been told I’m cancer free but to repeat scan in 3 months.
Yesterday I had genetic counselling and am having the test due to family history. Next week I have my mammo of good boob, one year on and first zolendronic acid infusion. Doing ok with Letrozole.
Hope you ladies are doing well xx
Member

Re: July 2017

Tatanya hope you are doing ok lovely and Carole i hope you are doing ok since your scans x
Kimi Angela hope you both are muddling along with life after bc well obviously you are as not heard from you in a while good sign im still lurking but promised myself i will check on less often and only drop in every now and then to see how everyone is xx
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Re: July 2017

Hope you are all well and happy valentines day 💖💖💖💖 onwards and upwards eh 😊
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Re: July 2017

Morning ladies.
Tatyana, Sorry about your news. It’s absolutely rubbish. I’m sure there will be weapons to fight/control it. I felt so sad when you said you’re not planning for the summer. I hope you do.
Can proton beam therapy be used in that area?
I hope you get some answers when you see the chemo nurse. Xxx
Member

Re: July 2017

Missa shes doing great 15 weeks now had her first sleep over last night it was lovely although im shattered since shes gone home showing my age haha!! Hope you get in ok with the rads i think tge tiredness is just tge knock on from surgery chemo etc just git to go with it oleased to hear about your hair too! Mine is bloody greyish mousey colour with a patch of white right at the front glad you are doing ok xx
Member

Re: July 2017

Hi all,

Sorry it's been a while since I've been online. Christmas was a busy period and now I've mostly got my energy back I've been keeping myself occupied. Started rads last Friday though so preparing myself for the inevitable crash.
Tatyana, I'm sorry to hear your news. You know we're all here if you need to get stuff off your chest. You too Carole, hopefully your MRI results are positive.
Glad to hear your hair is coming back FeelTheFear and Mishy! My bald patch is starting to get filled in and downstairs I look like a yeti, it's grown back black and it definitely wasn't like that before chemo!
Still loathe to dye my head hair (unfortunately it's grown back it's usual natural blonde colour) but I've been using lush henna dye instead. Obviously more of a tint than a dye but the cocoa butter in it makes my hair lovely and soft.
I didn't ask how many lymph nodes were involved and they didn't tell me. All I know is they took them all. Pre-chemo the cancerous area was 9cm! Shrunk to 1.2cm after chemo though.
Mishy, I know what you mean about the TN part. It plays on my mind a lot. I've vowed to make lifestyle changes to try and limit the chance of reoccurrence but there's obviously no guarantees. I guess we just have to get busy living and don't think about it too much. How is your granddaughter doing?