Hi all,
I’m Kate, I’m 49, and I’m due to start chemotherapy in a couple of weeks time - 8 sessions over 16 weeks. Have had to cancel all 50th birthday celebrations this summer!
I was diagnosed in late April with ER+ PR+ HER- invasive ducal cancer, plus an area of DCIS. Biopsy & MRI suggested it was stage 1, grade 2. Initially they thought I would need a lumpectomy + radiotherapy, then they thought the size of the DCIS was such that I’d need a mastectomy & sentinel nodes removed. I had that 3 weeks ago and have been healing pretty well. I thought I was over the worst…
But, unfortunately, my pathology results came back last week saying the cancer was actually stage 2 (only just - the tumour was 2.1mm), grade 3 and the cancer was partially in one node. They don’t seem to want to take any more nodes as the other 3 were clear, but I now I need chemotherapy too. I feel very stunned and scared - about the new diagnosis and the treatment that I wasn’t expecting.
Both my surgeon and oncologist has said my cancer is curable. I’m trying to hold onto that word and to mentally underline it when all the other horrible words crowd in. I have a fantastic team at my hospital and I just have to place myself in their expert hands and believe what they say.
I have 2 kids, 16 and 12. The 16-year-old has been amazing - very kind, lots of hugs, optimistic about the future. My youngest is struggling anyway and I think doesn’t know what to make of all my treatment. We have been reading a lovely book together which I would highly recommend for kids aged 10-12, called The Best Medicine by Christine Hamill - a Northern Irish writer who went through breast cancer treatment. (She also wrote a non-fiction book called B is for Breast Cancer about her experience which is about the only thing I’ve managed to read that has cheered me up and not freaked me out.) The Best Medicine is funny and moving and we’ve had a good laugh and cry together about the awfulness that is breast cancer,
Today’s top worry (the list is very long and they vie for the number 1 position) is about the kids going back to school (where I live, term has finished) and bringing back Covid or some other bug. Getting an infection during chemo sounds scarily serious. I’m unclear what shielding really means. I can’t imagine being socially distant from my family within our small flat. But my youngest is going stir crazy and really needs to get back to school. And I’ve already been self-isolating for 5 weeks and am dreading not being able to go for even a socially distanced walk with a friend, for support, laughter and a shoulder to cry on.
My oncologist says I can try the cold cap and I will give it a go. Fingers crossed - I don’t fancy losing my hair. The thread on cold caps was useful to read and quite positive. One tip I read was to invest in a silk pillow case and good quality dry shampoo.
I’m very glad to have found this space and feel immediately less terrified, knowing I’m not alone. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Wishing you all strength for the trial ahead. May there be good days ahead.
Kate xx
xx