Hi all you lovely Warrior Girls
@Sammy73 - Glad your rads SE's have settled down and you're feeling better now. Really hope you have got the worst over with now 🤞 for you. So tough for you girls x❤️x
@Love running - Ohhh, sorry you've been so sick with the Tamox. It has a lot of weird possible SE's. After trying it for 2 months after my 2nd mast, I went into such severe depression with it, I decided I preferred a better quality of life over the risks of not taking it. Soo Glad all's okay from your head scan though, and that you're now feeling better. Hope you can get to France for Xmas and ALL your future Kinder eggs contain "nicer" surprises.
Thanks for gently pulling me up on my previous depressing diatribe. I needed it. Wasn't fair to subject you all to it. Sorry to all of you for it. My losses of family makes me sad when I hear of family tensions. I'm afraid it's also made me a humbugger around Xmas the last 12 yrs, not having any family left. I'm always happy for others family's getting together to "hopefully" have an enjoyable time, but tbh, I'm always soo glad when it's all over and tv is no longer full of Xmas ads.
I was particularly interested to hear of your Mums Bi-polar and what a serious effect it had to you and your sister growing up. I have type 2, so not as bad as your Mum. Are you saying your sister also has it then, and that it has been a cause of your difficulties with her?? x❤️x
Good news re the head scan @Love running Hope you are feeling better now.
I was just listening on 5live re the French restrictions. I hope you get your money back @gardengirl200
@Sammy73 Glad you have turned a corner and are feeling better.
Well it’s going to be another quiet Christmas it would seem. Hope everyone is feeling well xx
just read in the news that the French gvt made it almost impossible for UK residents to travel to France at Xmas and for an undetermined period of time. I hope you can get your money back if you need to cancel.
I Hope it will get better for the February holidays
Head scan is fine. they were worried about possible blood clot from Tamoxifen
No idea why I got suddenly so dizzy and why I threw up. May be it was just something I ate. I am happy they checked. It feels better if I fly home next week to France. I say if because with more restrictions and still the possibility that one of us get sick, nothing is certain.
(Btw fleur, what did you decide? Will you go?)
Thank you for kind words. Just been seen by a doctor after waiting 2h30 (not so bad considering the times we are living in). She is not sure what cause the suddenly dizziness and the vomiting. But decided to take me off Tamoxifen for now. May last week cocktail was too much.
she consulted a neurologist because I got suddenly dizzy - now I have a head CT planned for tomorrow. This collides with my time with the psychologist I was seen.
Like you I am upset and tired of this. I thought I would be done for a little while. When you think you are done, comes more. It is like given lots of kinder eggs and when you open one you get a surprise but sometimes the surprise is rubbish.
but can’t complain - things are taken care of. I am lucky somehow.
lots of hugs to you and I am glad you are feeling better everyday.
I thought I had already replied so if you get 2 messages sorry.
I found I was really sick with the radiotherapy up until 4 weeks after I'm now going into my 6 weeks after and feeling better everyday.
All my hormone/ bone stuff stared the week after chemo and 2 weeks b4 radiotherapy so it can only be the radiotherapy it's all quite close to stomachs on the mammary area. That's what my nurse explained I can make you nauseous and cause sickness too.
It will ease with time. So sorry you are feeling rubbish. I was so pissed off as I felt I was at the end of my chemical journey and BOOM 💥 it hit me like a brick. Sending anti sickness love xx
A very short message as I am off to Spanish class. I really hope you feel better and soon, are you sure it it from Tamoxifen? Hopefully it is something else and it will pass quickly. Sending love and hugs as always xx
Short message today as I am lying on the bathroom floor sick… getting the full blown side effects from Tamoxifen. Felt dizzy since yesterday. Apparently normal. Called the nurse.
today I was sick hence my new bed on the heater floor of the bathroom.
i have to take my next pill now but don’t feel like it… but can’t stop. 😩
like everything it shall go over with time.
will again tomorrow.
wondering if I can travel next week feel un g like this.
Another good cream I have just been recommended is Debucal (it is also a very fatty cream but this time Icelandic with very little ingredients - so it feels good).
I guess due to the cold and very dry weather the Nordics have developed different types of cream.
i hope Locobase works for you.
I am so so sorry. What a disappointment. My heart goes with you.
Hopefully another will show up - even better one.
But let’s not talk about it anymore to not jinx it. Take care
I don’t believe it the camper van has sold overnight having been on the market for quite a while. 😡
I don’t think I will mention anymore until we actually have one! It’s so disappointing.
@delly @Your trip to Arran sounds wonderful, I will add it to my list of destinations. This list grows and grows but what with the two C’s I don’t seem to be reducing it at all! We were trying to go to as many countries as our age but I think it is getting too hard now, I’m up to 37 but my age is moving quicker than me!
@Love running I hope you feel better soon and that these are temporary SE’s, maybe due to all of the treatments you received last week. Feeling as you are walking on the hills of your run was the right choice. Although it is good to challenge ourselves we must know when to surrender too. I am taking my running a run at a time. The locobase has arrived from Sweden so I will start to put that on my feet and 🤞it will work. Everyone I have mentioned it to says it seems sensible that it would work better than a water based cream but it seems we don’t have an equivalent here.
Van update; we have found another that has lower mileage and is cheaper but needs some internal updates, in fact it looks like the inside of a barrel or even a sauna as it is top to bottom wood and not in a tasteful way! I smile every time you mention the sauna, it is such a Swedish thing to do. As Brits we are such prudes, me included! So we are at the asking lots questions stage but 🤞it is the one and it can be a little project for us.
Enjoy your restful day xx
@Michelle21 sad to hear it did not work work with the van, but wise decision if the insulation is not right. I am sure you will find your dream van. Just keep dreaming and searching. Fingers crossed.
Did I say I am my worst enemy? I did go for the run…. Because my mind was yes But then I started running and my body screamed nooooooo. I had to compromise and walk quite a bit, all the hills. I am glad I did go out and run even in the drizzle. I rewarded myself with a sauna…. Although i did not last too long in it as I am now nuclear warm and can’t stand the heat.
since yesterday I also experience what I think are the first side effects from Tamoxifen… yesterday I felt I was going with my head in one of theses Fiskbowls. Everything reached dampened in slow motion. Really weird and uncomfortable. Unfortunately my youngest wanted a lot of attention and felt frustrated with me being so slow in my head. Then I had a very bad night, warm and unsettled. And today I woke up dizzy and nauseous. Just called the nurse, she will check with the doctor and call back.
i guess it is the Tamoxifen (or the last week combo special zoladex, zolendron, tamoxifen, flu shot)…
so today will be resting day
Don’t apologize @delly, you have all the rights to be emotionally engaged. You have gone through a lot.
I love the way you describe your trips. You should write reviews from travel adds. Unfortunately it encourages fake Swedes and true French like me to come and visit 😀.
The 90’s fashion is coming back, so bring your thermal out. I even saw the 90’s Turquoise and purple colors returning on skiing gears this year. I might take my mustard yellow snowboard jacket out from the late 90’s. It will brighten the skiing slopes from all the black and dark colors skiing gears (says the one that has black pants, dark blue jacket and a black helmet…)
lots of love,
So sorry girls. Have amended my last post. Tend to get "hyper"sensitive about certain things. Especially family related. xXx
@Michelle21 - That's a shame/disappointment for you, ref the camper, but good that you checked into its insulation, if you're going to be Winter camping in it though. So I've been speaking/eulogising to the already converted, Scotland wise. Good for you. Don't tell everyone about it though, hey 🤗 Don't want a massive influx of visitors over from Sweden and the likes!! 😆 I'm teasing you, Love Running.
I agree, Mull is lovely. Did you go have a look at Iona, whilst there. And pop into the "Mishnish Inn" at Tobermorey? We had a great fun night there, with an evening of live music, and some of my entertaining silly Dellydancing 😄
But, One of my most memorable hols ever, was 2 weeks touring and walking on Arran. It's known as "Little Switzerland" due to it having a little of everything for walking - mountains (Goat Fell), lots of river valleys, and beautiful coastal paths, beaches. Plus some interesting historical buildings places (Brodick Castle) etc. Do go, I'm sure you'll love it. Goat Fell's not as high or tough as Ben Nev, but is still a challenge. Fantastic view from the summit, across the sea to the mainland and other nearby islands. There's a whiskey distillery at Lochranza (N. tip), that has a restaurant on it's upper floor, with panoramic windows/views across to a different part of mainland. Had a lovely meal, with a nice bottle of el vino, sat looking at the stunning views. That was after a few tastings of their local nectar produce, included in the distillery tour, but we'd found a lovely lane by the sea close by to park up Nelly, so weren't driving.
@Love running - I found myself thinking of and also quoting you saying the other week, that the Swedish have a saying, "No such thing as cold weather, just the wrong clothing"!😊 when we had a sudden drop of temperature here. Looked out my old skiing/Winter mountain walking silk thermals. Had 'em since early 90's, so years old, but still in great shape, wear wise. Snug as a bug.
Lots of love to you all, Dellywelly xX❤️Xx
@Love running So many people have family problems, we can choose our friends but not our family. I am sure you will make the right decision you are clearly a very caring person and far more diplomatic than me.
I love the idea of talking travel and running here. When I joined up I made a point of reading threads of those who were finishing treatment and starting to rejoin life. When you are at the start of this horrible treatment it can seem like there is only doom and gloom a little inspiration goes a long way.
On a disappointing note we have pulled out of viewing the camper as on further exploration it didn’t seem to have the insulation that we required which can make a difference to condensation, warmth and sound. So the search goes on, lucky we have a few months before we will go on our travels.
That was a lot of medication to have in a short period of time, im glad you had no ill affects. 🤞no SE’s from my new regime. I just have to make sure I remember to take them each morning and night at the right times!
Did you do your run? How did it go? Drizzle is common place here, running through the woods with snow on the ground sounds beautiful although I’m not sure about -15! It must be pitch black in the woods are there pathways? I am heading off to parkrun now. Lots of people from my new running club are meeting there. A different one to my preferred one which has laps which I am less keen on but it will be nice seeing everyone there.
Have a great weekend x
Good morning @delly
Thank you for sharing your family story and for reminding us that you often don't know what happens in someone else life and mind. You are so right about always keeping an eye, your arms and your door open on your family and around you for friends or even a stranger. At the beginning of the school year, my daughter, a friend of hers and few people prevented someone from jumping from a bridge close to home.
I love my sister to bits and I have tried over the years (35 or so) to help her in anyways I could (to cope with my mum, with work and her ex husband). Now I am helping her her kids to help her. She refuses to see that she needs professional help. There is still a big stigma about mental health in society and having a mum being manic depressive, bi-polar does not help. Growing up, my mum used to pop pills and then be unresponsive for few days in a row. At one point, the only way to calm her down was intravenously valium. She went on detox for addiction to sleeping pills in a mental institution and been called crazy by people in the village and my father's family. So I guess it left stigmas on my sister. I myself went to see someone (and going back now) to help me deal with some of these things and I have been very open about it. My dad passed away when I was 13 and I have been forced to adapt and be the grown-up in my family, the one that is always fit and strong to carry my mum and my sister. With me becoming sick, I guess our house of cards has just fallen apart.
I am looking out for her - I always will. She is my sister and I love her. I unfortunately just realised with her last lie that I needed to take some distance from her to not hate her and not resent her. Her kids are quite upset too with her because they suffer (ed) a lot from her lies throughout their childhood and now in their young adult lives (especially on their dad and her 'work'). I am talking to them every day and find ways to help her.
On a more positive note, in the long run we can transform this thread into a travel advice and guide (and running/training advice as we are all quite sporty at heart) - sharing all the beautiful places we have been. Thanks Delly for your unbelievable narration of Scotland. I wish that in a close future COVID is only a mere memory and we can resume travelling freely.
@gardengirl200 I feel for your daughter - to have to deal with mean stepsisters. Accents are like everything else, it makes us different from each other and so special. It gives us roots to go back to and be proud of. I can understand your anger and frustration, I am not sure I could hold my mouth shut and I would have told something to her dad, to ask him to step in and reprehend bullying and discrimination in the family home. From you said, your daughter is a quite strong girl and she will come on the top of the stupidity.
I am so sorry to hear about your dilemma about the holidays. 900 pounds is quite hefty sum weighted with the risk of being quarantine in France... Not an easy decision to make. I hope that if you decide to go, you will have a blast and that everything works smooth. I have the same dilemma with our trip to France (flight + rental). We won't stay at my mum to protect her, so we rent a place.
Btw I am with @delly on the sofa and two coffee tables single handed. Impressive!!!!! It feels good right to feel strong sometimes?
@amy46 @gardengirl200 @delly @Michelle21 I am glad you liked the song from the 'Trolls' movies. Actually the whole sound track is great and the movie too. We watched the movie with the kids few years back at the movie theatre, after which we listened to the soundtrack in the car on our trip singing loud. It always lift our mood.
Yesterday we went to my eldest guitar concert (Sweden has instated the vaccine pass for cultural events) and they played: lean on me (Bill Withers). And I though this is also a song from our playlist.
OMG I got carried away with my long prose and I have booked the sauna but need to run first. have a wonderful day ladies. Love
@gardengirl200 - If you can lift a sofa and two coffee tables single handedly on a diet of Nutella, flippin 'eck, I'm gonna get meself some in. Fill my cupboards with it, in fact😆 Accents? I was born in North Manchester, so spoke broad Lancashire, and moved down to Bournemouth when I was 11. My English teacher was the worst for showing me up, making me stand and read sections from books. One including the word HUMMOCK. Shouted my name, "its Hammock not hUmmock" (with an Ugh!). I said "But it isn't spelt with an 'A', Miss Mortimer, it's spelt with an Uh, as in 'U'mbrella, not Ambrellaa, bus not bas. Glasses not glarrsses, bath not barrth. Felt like saying to her "And the horse animal is Ass not "Aarse"" Miss!! 😆 Had my Northern accent gradually knocked out of me though, to the point when moving back to the North, in my late 20's, they think I speak posh up here! Not BBC posh, mind. But I still sound Northern to Sutherners (spelling intended) whenever I visit. Am I bothered or "bathered"? - am I flip!! Or should that be fleep?!😊
I'm gonna have to look into all this biz about Aspirin?? I remember, when covering all the different types of Arthritis, inflammation and anti-inflammatories meds, in my training, it was still always hailed as one of the best natural (from Willow tree bark) pain-killers and anti-inflammatories (especially) you could take, as well as a natural blood thinner. My stomach sadly can't take it, unless it has an enteric coating to prevent it severely irritating my tum. I remember having a bonfire under a giant Willow tree at the bottom of my garden, it caught/singed some of the lower drooping branches and leaves, and produced a really strong smell of Aspirin.
I'm also gonna have to scroll back through all your posts, to your gnome song and link, @Love running. Find out what I've missed!!😄
Family - Mmmm Yeh. I get rather sensitive these days, around anyone talking family upsets. Guess with having lost all three, within a 10yr period, and my brother to suicide being the last. Tends to give you a different perspective on. xXx
On another note, young 22yr old Isabel posted today, on "Caring for Someone with BC", telling us of her Mum's Stage 4 diagnosis with all sorts of other extreme difficulties, just in the last 3 yrs. She's understandably terribly upset, and has reached out to the Forum for support. So unfair for her. xXx
Lovely to hear from you again @delly . We haven’t viewed the camper yet so 🤞 Your trip to Scotland sounds amazing. We went to Scotland last year between lockdowns. We loved it! We also enjoy walking and climbed Ben Nevis and other amazing walks. I’m very envious of your red deer experience, you can’t beat seeing wildlife in its own habitat.
We visited the Isle of Mull which was beautiful but we weren’t in a camper then. I understand that Scotland is the only home nation that allows wild camping. I live in Wales and it’s not allowed here.
Have a lovely day, keep a look out here for a photo of our van when we get one! xx
@amy46 I’m so pleased that you are feeling better and that @Love running post lifted your spirits. I’m the same I hate it if I can’t get out, it makes such a difference to how I feel. The chemo tablets I have just started taking can come with a SE of sore hands and feet and I’m dreading my feet cracking and not being able to walk or run, especially as I feel I am getting my fitness back again after a break from running during my last chemo. But I will cross that bridge if I come to it as they say.
I felt let down and unsupported by various friends and family in 2018 but this time I have let that wash over me and I just try to accept that’s how they are coping with my illness. It’s not easy accepting this though.
Well I hope you are feeling better again today and continue to do so xx
@gardengirl200 you are not behind the curve at all, I think @amy46 explained it very well. The asprin trial is a very big trial that is happening now. I know of lots of ladies who started it in 2018. They have different types of BC. I think the theory behind it is that cancer may be an inflammatory disease and asprin is an anti inflammatory that is cheap and already approved. As asprin is over the counter and lots of people take it daily I thought I would start too. I take 75mg which is a low dose. I mentioned it to my onc she didn’t say it will prevent my cancer I think we will have to wait for the trial results for that but she didn’t have a problem with it.
Mixing families is never free of complications, I have 2 stepsisters and although they weren’t as bad as your step children sound I always felt a little intimidated. Although we met up recently and all got on well. I’m sure your daughter will come through she sounds great and a lot more in the real world!
Although I must confess I do say all poor’s the same and I’m definitely not related to the Royals! Just southern! 😂
That is a dilemma re Skiing, I can’t believe the cost of the Covid tests, crazy. I hope you get to go and that there are no + tests for you xx
@Love running That was such a thoughtful, funny and supportive post you sent for @amy46 .
I’m sure most of us here feel the urgency to live in the moment and enjoy what we can when we can now. I do too but in my marriage am always the sensible one with the finances so I have taken a big gulp and am prepared to spend on Saturday if the van is good! We are driving 150 miles to view it so 🤞it meets our standards and I will post a picture here if we get it. What a shame your family haven’t enjoyed your flat, an Easter break maybe?
I ran 7miles last night but was slow, slow, slow. Hipefully I will do it again next week and improve a little. Yes I am old school and deal mostly in miles 😂 although do run 5k & 10k my watch is in miles, im obviously mixed up! I also can put pressure on myself but am trying to go with the flow. If I hadn’t had two 1/2’s postponed from the pandemic I wouldn’t have applied but as I have the places I am hoping I will get to do them. Especially Cardiff.
Running in -6 sounds cold, the coldest I’ve ran in is -4 but we don’t get that too often here. It is about 6 at the moment but we have had some stormy days and nights.
If I think of any questions I will mention them on here, although I still seem to be in there here and now for questions. I started my tablet Chemo today. Another regime to get used to and weave into life.
For what it’s worth i think it sounds like you have made the right decision regarding your sister. My brother also lies a lot, he is an addict and it comes with the territory. I made a decision not to have him in my life many years ago because of the drama he caused and that was before we knew of his addiction. I just didn’t want that upset in our lives. Your husband sounds sensible and you are not being selfish merely protecting yourself and your family which is a mother’s instinct.
I start zoledronic acid on 22nd December, do you have a date yet?
Have a good day x
Just a quickie (??). You're all so prolific in your posts on here, so again please forgive me that I haven't properly caught up, if I don't mention you, and if I get details mixed up with the matching names.
@Purpledaze < Couldn't bring up the highlighted @ for your name. Hope you managed your crafting with your still not fully mobile wrist, but enjoyed your day and had some fun with your family. Think I read you saying that your hubby was doing better? I Hope so - and that "both" of you are.
@gardengirl200 - Hope your veins have settled now down. Am I right in that being you? You girls have so much to deal with chemo wise, and all the extra complications it can produce.
@Michelle21 - Glad your results were good following your op and you sound to have healed well after it?? I noted your campervan hunting. I'd had thoughts a number of years ago, when thinking of business ideas, of buying a couple of vans to convert and either hire out or sell on. Wished I had now, with all this sudden buying up of them with Covid, but we weren't to know then.
How did you go on the other day at your viewing of one? Did you bite and buy it? Or decide to hold out for a lesser mileage one?
I'm most envious. I used to share one with my last partner. "Nelly"😄 - A really old, already well used, and basic converted Nissan van with a high top so could stand up in it, adequate space wise, but still small enough to get down little narrow country lanes. Loved it. I don't know what part of the country you're in, but I'm in NE Cheshire. We were both avid, serious walkers, so regularly popped up to the Lakes for beautiful scenery and mountain walking or Wales for both coast or mountains, as were close for just w'ends/bank hols. But at my suggestion, one year, for a longer holiday, rather than head South to busier Devon or Cornish coasts, we headed North to explore the Solway coast instead, and found it so much quieter. Faar less traffic on the roads and. . . far fewer people. That lead to us to spending many further longer hols exploring the West coast of Scotland, and also some Western island hopping. Was WOW, and why I asked where in the country you are. Can highly recommend. Stunningly beautiful. Plus fantastic fresh fish and good quality meat products to be had. Found the locals to be lovely friendly people too, always happy to have you exploring and holidaying.
We preferred to wild camp, rather than stay on sites. Just topped up the water tank whenever at petrol stations, for drinking and washing ourselves. No shower or loo facilities on board, just a bucket and chuck-it system (carefully disposed of though I add). Stocked up with lovely fresh food at the many villages. They're a lot "freer" up there for wild camping, without all the "No overnight camping" signs you often find in the more popular and busy South or Wales (though we sometimes quietly ignored them, never left any rubbish unless in provided bins). Plenty of picturesque places to park up to camp. One place we found on Arran, was a long lay-by, right next to the sea and beach. No-one else there. Cooked a sumptuous dinner (Cooked some amazing meals on just two rings, grill and oven), with a nice bottle of chilled wine. That van may have been old and worn, but it had a great fridge, that we always kept well stocked with both vino and good food! Never scrimped - after all, we were on our hols!! Sat eating and slurrping as it gradually grew dark (May) looking at the sea and the gentle waves frothing white at the edges.
Both our mouths dropped open, when two Red Deer appeared, literally just yards from the van and us, to munch on sea grass. What a sight! Could not belieeeve it. Turned out there was quite a population of them on the island. Kept seeing them whilst out walking the few mountains and many valleys. That was along with Dolphins, plenty of seals, Eagles, and even a couple of otters having a swim in the sea one day, again just yards away!!
I really can't recommend the W. Scottish coast and Islands enough for campervanning, Michelle. Quiet and stunningly beautiful. so Do give it a try sometime if you can. Yes, I'm most envious. If you haven't already, I hope you find the right campervan soon and that You enjoy it.
Sorry I've gone on girls - Got carried away and transported off in my mind. Eeeee, such lovely places and memories stirred up.
Shall leave you in peace again, but keep sending you all love and strength wishes to keep kicking that BC in the BUTT, warrior ladies. Delly xX❤️Xx + 🐬 🦅 🦌 (<couldn't find seals and otters)
@gardengirl200 Funny you should mention Downton - I watched it when it came out but I just started rewatching it yesterday, I love it. I also watched Maid on Netflix which I’d really recommend. Other than that I’ve been listening to lots of audio books. Easier somehow when you’re feeling rubbish.
I have got an initial appointment with a dietitian in January, I’ll let you know how I get on. Calcium is for anyone put on bisphosphonates. I don’t know if they give these to women who are hormone responsive or just triple negative. I think
aspirin is for all breast cancer types but the study isn’t complete yet. Statins same but there are no big trials yet so oncologist probably won’t prescribe them.
I can understand your frustration on your daughters behalf. Step families can be a nightmare. She sounds like a lovely girl who knows what’s important in life and it definitely isn’t how you pronounce bauble!
Really hope you get your ski trip in xxx
@Love running Thank you. That’s really cheered me up, I love the song I’ve never heard it before and it made me laugh - all
the things the little troll goes through in her journey - so similar to us! When she eats the berry and gets blotches all over her and blows up….. so funny!
I feel so much better again this evening. I saw my oncologist and she didn’t think I’d need to delay or reduce my chemo next week. And I also feel physically a lot better and even managed a short walk this afternoon. Only ten minutes but it made me realise how important being outside every day is to me. Three hour round trip to hospital, repainted my nails, a little walk, kind of cobbled some supper together so compared to yesterday so so much better.
just feel super paranoid about catching something else now but trying to remind myself not to worry about things that may or may not happen.
Family stuff is hard. I have felt quite let down by my mother in law at this time. She just hasn’t been there although I know she loves us dearly. It’s hard not to feel resentful. I am putting it in a box to be dealt with later. For now the focus has to be on getting through the next few weeks, my husband and kids and my lovely mum who is always there quietly supporting and loving me. It sounds very tricky with your sister but I think you are doing the right thing. And it’s not selfish to do the right thing for your little family unit so don’t feel bad about it. Thanks again for your words - I’ll watch the clip again before i go to sleep xx
@amy46 So so sorry to hear you are feeling so rough and having such a tough time. You are far stronger than you realise. You will get through this and be even stronger. You will have plenty of time to build up muscles in the future, so in the meantime just take it a day at a time. Be kind to yourself. I do hope you start to turn the corner. Do you have some good box sets in the hope of them being a distraction? I loved Derry Girls if you've not watched it and obs Downton/The Crown.
Did you ever find a dietician you liked? Ive just opened a jar of nutella which I bought for my son's stocking. 🙄 This is my 6th week back at work and I'm finding it hard to find the headspace for exercise and healthy eating as well as work. I need to reboot.
@michelle21 - I'm impressed and inspired ( repeatedly) by your running. I need to get back out again. I feel behind the curve on the additional things we can do to help ourselves (other than food and exercise) . I take it statins and the calcium and aspirin are recommended for a particular type of BC (Her2pos??) and not ER pos?? Ive not heard before of taking these things. Hope you can find a camper van at a realistic price.
@Love running I know your message was to Amy but it really cheered me up too so thank you!! I loved the Trolls clip! My anthem the last couple of years has been quite corny but it does always make me feel tougher when I feel a bit wobbly. I dont know how to do the links from spotify but it is 'I am Woman' by Helen Reddy. It was in my head this morning as I single handed carried a sofa and 2 coffee tables out to the pavement for a council special waste upliftat 5am in my PJs!
Sorry to hear aboutyour sister. Sounds like youve made a wise decision re xmas. Very tough though when actually you could have done with some support from her. Families can be tricky. I am very lucky with my own siblings but my children now have step siblings who regularly infuriate my daughter (and therefore me on her behalf). Last night they said her accent was all wrong cos she pronounced Christmas bauble as 'bobble' and not 'Baaawble'. The consider themselves extremely posh and my daughter (who is a wonderful, unspoilt, straight A, down to earth girl) rather common. They even said to her that she failed the "paw, paw, paw' test. Apparently they believe you should pronounce 'pour,' 'poor' and 'paw' in exactly the same way. It's ridiculous. Who wants to speak like that unless you are a member of the Royal Family. Anyway it really riles me as I dont want my daughter to be made to feel inferior. And of course her father did nothing to stick up for her. Sorry to rant on such a trivial thing but it just annoys me so much.
Im still hoping to get to Les Gets on 17th. But it hangs in the balance!! It is going to cost me nearly £900 in the required covid tests which will be the single most expensive element of the holiday. We are only going for 5 nights!! The problem is if I choose not to go I loose the cost of the hotel. A dilemma as I am nervous of having to quaratine in France over Xmas in the (hopefully unlikely) event of one of us testing positive. I will see what the next few days bring. Sods law as the snow forecast looks great. Such a shame as we all deserve a holiday I feel. Its been so so long.
I hope everyone keeps well and Amy that you feel stronger and stronger xxxx
I know the feeling about making the step to buy something fun that eats up on your savings. We bought this flat south of France last year and have not even been able to enjoy it as a family. But hey, after what we have gone through, it is great to do things we can enjoy now. So fingers crossed for the camper van. If you do get it, post a picture of the beauty.
Then just hit the road and come to visit beautiful Sweden. You are right, there is no bad weather only bad clothing. I went to the outdoors gym by -6 on Sunday and I will go running with Forest femmes tonight. But it is only -1/2 almost too warm.
Congratulations for the 5 miles (I admit I had to use a converter to know how much in kilometre😉). I have not dared yet to run more than 10 km (under 7 miles), so I have been holding on the registration for half marathons. I am scared of the pressure I can put on myself sometimes. I am my worst enemy as I have to much expectations for myself. I am learning to slow down and take it easy.
Regarding the toes, my impression was that it would be permanent. I have not seen any improvement and I finished chemo end of September. I will ask my oncologist when i have my final chat in January. I am preparing a list of questions. During treatment I basically was so focused on the now that I did not ask anything on the after. If you have any suggestions on the questions I should not forget to ask, shoot. Vit-D is probably a must here as there is not much daylight during those Swedish winter days.
Regarding my family, well I took an extreme decision to not meet my sister and not to celebrate Xmas with her. It was the only way I could protect myself and my kids from all the drama. My husband also was very clear that he did not want to be hostage of my family drama. My sister suffers from pathological compulsive lying (or mythomania) and her last lie just affected so many people around her including her kids (she lied about having Covid, making everyone testing and isolating themselves)... It is very sad as I think she needs help and is not a bad person at heart. She refuses to get help and I just can't deal with her right now. I have to be selfish.
Have a nice evening
I wish I could take your pain and sadness away.
I don't know why but I just thought about this song for you: ´Get back up again´(Anna Kendrick).
I'm not giving up today
There's nothing getting in my way
And if you knock knock me over
I will get back up again, oh
If something goes a little wrong
Well you can go ahead and bring it on
'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again
Whoa oh oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh'
Watch the video and imagine me as furry round pinky poppy at 2 min 45, singing the chorus super loud for you. And I hope it will make you feel a little better or at least make you smile
Hang in there, you will get back up again. You will become strong again, it takes time.
I am far from what I used to be. I will never be the same, I am both stronger and I am weaker. But I try to love myself and my current body, because my mind and my body have taken me through a journey of hell but we made it over. They will continue to carry me for a while longer and for that I have decided to love them regardless of their vulnerabilities, doubts, strength or shape.
So will yours, they will take your through this journey and over. You are NOT a weak pathetic mess, you are a fighter that needs a rest to win this battle and you will get back up again. Because
You are not giving up today
There's nothing getting in your way
And if it knocks knocks you over
You will get back up again, oh
If something goes a little wrong
Well it can go ahead and bring it on
'Cause if it knocks knocks you over, you will get back up again
Whoa oh oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh'
Hugs and love
@Michelle21 that’s so exciting about the camper van. Go for it, you won’t regret it I’m sure!
@Love running and Michelle I love to hear about you running. It gives me hope that I’ll get back to it again soon. I was awake a lot last night with a horrible cough and an upset tummy from the antibiotics I think. I just feel so weak and poorly, even going up the stairs feels hard. I know I’m now a bit anaemic which doesn’t help. I just feel like a weak pathetic mess. I have lost quite a lot of weight and definitely a lot of muscle. I look down at my thighs which used to be strong muscle and they look so weedy. I’m trying to be positive but it’s so hard when I feel like a shell of my former self. I just want this all to go away. 😞😞
I like your description of permanently sleeping toes. Neuropathy has sent my toes to sleep too. I don’t really notice it when I’m running but more so when I’m sat down in the evening. Have you asked about whether they will wake up again? I must admit I haven’t but was hoping I would notice an improvement by Christmas but that seems unlikely now.
I am quite worried about getting sore feet so thank you for the recommendation of Locobase I have ordered it online. I don’t think it is sold here I haven’t seen it before but from what you say it sounds like it will certainly help improve my chances. Like you I just want to keep running.
I have to admit I haven’t given the jaw SE too much thought, it is rare and hopefully we will both be fine with that. My oncologist said they didn’t have anyone with that se in the trials it was only when it was given to lots more people that it was noticed. I have had blood tests and will find out soon whether I have to take Vit D. I think everyone has to take calcium. I’m hoping my Vit D will be ok as I spend a lot of time outdoors but it wouldn’t be the first time my body has surprised/disappointed me.
We are going to view a camper on Saturday but I am getting gittery about how much of our savings we will be spending on it. It’s recently been renovated to a camper van but has quite high mileage. We can be quite spontaneous so will probably come home with it unless there is something very wrong with it. I will let you know. Your in-laws cabin sounds like a great getaway to have and don’t the swede’s say no such thing as bad weather only bad clothing! 😂
I ran last night with the club, it is road running so not as idyllic as through the forest but I agree with you that a bit of healthy competition is a good thing. It is quite hilly here so can be testing. We go out again tomorrow and I am thinking of running 7miles. At the moment I am up to 5miles so I thought I might try and step it up before I start the chemo tablets. I’m still hoping to run the 2 half marathons that I have signed up to in March and April but we will see.
I hope your family worries have subsided and you have been able to make a decision that you are happy with for Christmas. X
@amy46 I hope you are feeling better each day. X
@delly Nice to hear from you again Delly!
I hope everyone else is well and enjoying the run up to Christmas xx
@TicTok I would assume that you have had at least 3 doses of herceptin & pertuzamab with your T chemo. I think that is standard practice. Maybe that’s why when you looked it up online it mentioned hair loss? I hope it is all explained to you on Friday x
Good morning @delly
Your joke is spot on... Nearly only women in my French family... 10 women and 1 man.
Btw, I bought amaryllis to a very good friend of mine - it looks stunning in her warm and very Xmassy decorated home. We had a lovely dinner catching up after months of physical distance.
Wish you a wonderful day
@TicTok - Ooooo (as oppo Oh) on the Amaryllis. Something lovely for you to look at, enjoy and cheer you. Haven't bought myself one yet! I was just thinking, it's a shame they aren't available all year, but then they wouldn't be so special and cheer up the darker months. Enjoy.
Hope you're managing to stay comfortable. As much as I don't like popping pills, I was very strict with myself in keeping up the Paracetamol levels after both my boob ops, even if I wasn't feeling uncomfortable, thinking it best to "pre-empt" and not allow myself to reach a painful stage. And Especially before bed, always popped a couple to prevent waking myself with any pain from unconscious awkward "ouchy" movements during the night. Hope you get your drain bottle changed asap.
@amy46 - Sorry, there's me calling it a "cold", and it's been far, faaar worse for you. Awww, flower, hope it clears up soon.
Again, lots of love to all you other flowers 🤗 on here, Delly xX❤️Xx
Delly thank you ….. ps I had to go and buy a bulb like that lovely Amaryllis picture you put on here 😁xx
Hi Amazon Warrior Ladies
Just a quick hi to you all, and not really wishing to single anyone out, as only caught up on a few of your more recent posts, but:-
@TicTok - I soo hope you heal and recover speedily from your op, and your results are good/favourable ones for you. 🤗
@amy46 - I agree, your wreath is gorgeous. How very clever and creative of you. Hope your nasty sounding cold clears up soon.
@Love running - Sorry to hear about your family tensions. Came across this "joke"?! “All the women I love in one room, and I couldn’t be more scared for my life!” !! 🤔
Hope everyone else is coping with your often grueling chemo treatments and they're are all over soooon for you.
Lotsa love to you all, delly xX❤️Xx
@TicTok hang in there too. Hopefully your drain get sorted easily tomorrow and you get all the answers to your questions on Friday.
Not knowing and receiving mixed info is excruciating. Sometimes, the more I read the more I get uncertain. I also found that the oncologists do not give all the info at once.... may be it is to protect us as we can't take everything at once. But I keep receiving new info about more treatment, more SE that were not told before...
But hang in there, stay strong.
Lots of healing vibes to you
I really hope that you won't get the sore feet side effect. Sounds horrific. The neuropathy has already changed our running abilities. Fingers crossed that you won't get the sorte feet syndrome. I have two 'dead' or 'permanently sleeping' toes, and one fake cruciate ligament which affects my running. But I have come to accept it as long as I can run.
I use a very fatty cream called Locobase (it actually has cholesterol in it), it is amazing for cracks on the hands from the cold weather. My girls use it as otherwise with the temperature changes in winter In Sweden, their hands look like raw minced meat. Until I found it, the poor things suffered so much. They used to scream in pain when I applied water based cream. So Locobase is my wonder cream.
I am worried about the SE of the zolendronic injections... especially the necrosis of the gums. Although it is very rare, it freaks me out as I have had so much troubles with my teeth when I was younger. Now I finally managed to have healthy jaws:-), I can bare the idea of loosing my teeth to necrosis. But let's not think about it 😱.
I did a blood test today ahead of the zolendronic injection to check calcium level. Will you too have to take Calcium and D vitamine supplements?
I cross my fingers for you to find a decently and cheap camper van. Same in Sweden, the price for them have gone insane. People here have rediscovered the beauty of Sweden (me included) the last two years, so they either bought a camper van or summer cottage. Luckily for me, my parents in law have this beautiful cabin by the lake in the north of Sweden. It is gorgeous but the weather up there is unpredictable. variation between 4 and 28 degrees Celsius in the summer. You never know what you get.
have a nice evening may be checking online for the camper van and route to the north and the south
Michelle 21 my breast care nurse rang later this aft , I will have to go in the morning to get the bottle changed as they are vacuum filled and can’t be emptied.I keep getting mixed info on my next steps it was saying on the internet that the first one takes 6 hours in case of reaction and talk of hair falling out again etc etc ,I have my oncology meeting next Friday so I will see what they have to say before I drive myself mad ! I hope it’s the same as yours then ….. thank you once again xx
Great that it is not sepsis - the antibiotics will kick in and you will be back on track. Delays unfortunately happen and it sucks big time. Remember you are doing great.
Lots of healing vibes your way
@TicTok If I was you I would go back to the hospital unit to have it removed or emptied. Mine stopped filling up and was removed but I then had a hematoma which is where blood starts to collect inside so that is something to look out for, report any swelling. It was fine the nurse drained it a couple of times which was a simple procedure and it just stopped then.
When I was HER2+ I had pertuzamab and Herceptin with my 4 taxol chemo’s and continued with Herceptin for a year after the first one. It was simply an injection every 3 weeks and other than going to get it done it didn’t interfere with life at all. They are both really good drugs which will hopefully prevent your cancer ever coming back.
@amy46 so sorry you are feeling so awful although it is good it wasn’t sepsis. I hope you feel better soon and that your final chemo’s run more smoothly. I think our bodies start screaming after a while that they have had enough. This treatment is pretty harsh.
Thats correct it has to be a lipophilic statin. I am taking simvastatin which is lipophilic and the most common statin prescribed.
Amy46 ….. you poor thing 😕you are really going through it aren’t you …. I really hope you feel better soon ….. sending big hugs xxx
michelle 21 just reading through my next stage of treatment it is herceptin and pentuzumab is that the same as you had ? For the HR2 positive xx
@Michelle21 I’ve just spent a very uncomfortable night on a trolley in A and E ☹️ My temp went up late last night so I ended up admitted today for bloods and antibiotics. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so terrible. It wasn’t neutropenic sepsis though, the peg injection was doing its job and my neutrophils were actually high. Home now in my own bed. Got five days of antibiotics. Feeling pretty unwell still and wondering if this is ever going to end. I’d done so well 14/16 without a major setback, worried now my oncologist will want to draw back 😞😞
Which statin are you on? It needs to be a lipophillic one I think.
@TicTok that amount sounds fund just would have been good if they’d showed you how to empty it yourself like Michelle said xx
Michell21 …. Thanks for that 😁……no one has mentioned emptying them so I guess I will have to go tomorrow as it will be nearly full , I have just read it says if it’s been in for 5 days go in for removal regardless of drainage , so hopefully it will be tomorrow xx
Good morning all!
@TicTok I had one of my drains for a week and it was about 80 every day and then it just went really low. You said it’s heavy is someone coming to empty it or have you been told how to empty it yourself? I emptied it myself at the same time every morning so I could record how much was there. I’m sure by 7 days it will be out and you will begin to feel much more human again.
@amy46 Sorry to hear you have a cold, I hope you can fight it off. Relax and let yourself be looked after. Re the statins I told my oncologist I had been prescribed them as my cholesterol is elevated. She said she has no problem with me taking them but her point was if there was any proof they worked for BC they would be prescribing them. It’s kind of the answer I was expecting from her she deals in facts not potential facts. I didn’t get the impression she had read about any interesting studies relating to statins and BC and she also said they come with SE’s to the liver and kidney. I also mentioned I was taking asprin and she said she has no problem with me taking that in a very positive manner. I didn’t want to ask if she thought that would improve my survival as I’d just mentioned the statins!
so I am going to continue with the low dose that I have been prescribed (20mg) in the hope it does something although the studies identified 80mg as having the greatest affect and I am continuing with the asprin.
@Love running Good to hear from you but sorry hear your family are causing you stress. Families are funny things I often think the only thing me and my brother share is blood. We couldn’t be more opposite and over my lifetime he has caused me a lot of upset and I don’t have anything to do with him now. Sometimes that is the only way, when you realise someone has such a negative impact on your life. I hope you can resolve your current problems with your mum and sister but look out for yourself and do what helps you the most. We are all still in a very vulnerable position.
I’m pleased your final RT is done and you can move on to the next treatments and the next step forward.
I love the sound of running in the woods with you. I am loving running more than ever at the moment it gives me such a feeling of being alive! Do not worry too much about your comfort eating, we all do it. Im sure now you have your mojo back you will be back to eating healthier.
Thanks for the tips on arriving ahead of midsummers day and spending it further north, it is something exciting to look forward to. We haven’t purchased a camper van yet, the prices have surged due to the pandemic, we are looking online every day for one that suits us. We are also hoping to go to south of France but we do not have a proper route planned yet. They are just dreams in our head for now.
I have an appointment on Wednesday for blood tests and I will be starting zoledronic injections. I also start my next lot of chemo, tablets this time for 6 months. I don’t think it will impact on day to day life as much but I am a bit worried about the sore feet side effect. Apparently your skin can crack which would call a halt to walking and running if it gets really bad. I’m planning to slather my feet in cream on a nightly basis and hope that they will not be too affected.
Anyway cheerio for now, have a good day everyone xx
Love running I am so glad you have your mojo back and I wish you very good luck for this coming week 💕….. Family can be shit sometimes after all you have been through this year you would hope things could be better 😞best staying home maybe you don’t need stress xxx
can I just ask it’s my 4 th day with my drain and today it was 80 ml it has been quite a lot every day is that normal ?she said not to worry and they will advise me tomorrow 🤷♂️It will be full at this rate and getting quite heavy x
@Love running I am sorry to hear about your family dramas, but I was pleased to see you had posted. I always enjoy your writing so much and today I’ve been in bed most of the day as I picked up a terrible cold two days after second EC and am feeling absolutely dreadful. I actually don’t think I can remember feeling quite so awful. Sore throat runny nose headache and zero energy just feel totally wiped out and very sorry for myself. Keep checking my temp and have spoken to chemo nurse. Fingers crossed that I’ll fight it off. Feel totally useless though and hate not bring able to do things for the kids.
Maybe you really should put off going to France for Christmas. You’ve been through so much, maybe you could hunker down with your husband and your girls and save the France trip for the new year? Maybe just put yourself first and choose what you really want just this once?
Sending lots of love to all of you xx
This week should have been a week of celebration after finishing RT and the end of almost 10 months of heavy treatment. Instead, it has been drama. French drama in all its glory and splendour.
One French song says ‘you choose your friends, not your family´… it has been going in my head all week.
I love my family but there is a reason why I live so far away. While Xmas should be a time of celebration and happiness, it also brings out stress of having to be spending time together. One forgets that even if you are sick and focus on other things, old unresolved family issues just remain as they were and don’t magically disappear. I guess that me having been sick has put an extra strain on relationship between my mum and my sister. It just came down in flame.
Anyway, I have been dealing with this drama and because if this, I did not manage to write, I did not manage to congratulate Michelle for finishing and for having a clear, scan, congratulate Amy on her beautiful wrath, wish good luck to Tiktok on her surgery, enquire Sammy about her French xmas plans (hope you don’t get into the trap of the French drama), tell purpledaze that I could imagine her wonky xmas decorations, as they probably look like mine and thank Fleur on the book tip.
All this drained me of my positive energy and I slid into stress and sloppy eating for which I felt guilty. And when i stress I grind my teeth, now I have pain in my jaw and one of my molar (might need to get to the dentist before I get zolendronic acid on Thursday).
But I took an important decision, if the level of stress and drama does not diminish I will cancel my trip to France and enjoy a peaceful Xmas with my kids and husband in Stockholm.
Below is what I wanted to tell you each one of you… if I would have had the time and the energy.
@Purpledaze I too am hopeless at arts and crafts but love the idea of being crafty…So I never give up and produce 'interesting art pieces' 😂. To avoid serious xmas craft disasters, this year I restricted myself to baking cookies and buns. I made an amazing saffran and almond bun cake – I actually amazed myself. It was a killer. I should have not eating so much of it but it was sloppy eating week.
@Michelle21 On Wednesday I thought about you, about us. I had a beautiful celebration run for us finishing up. Such great news that your scan was clear. I hope you can breath out and look into the future picturing your birthday celebration in 2022 in your camper van in Sweden for midsummer. You will have to come to Stockholm before midsummer day (24-25 June) because the midsummer day, you need to enjoy it more north to get the full experience of the longest day in the year. Also Stockholm is empty on Midsummer day, all the locals leave to the country side. You don't want to be surrounded by tourists 😉. I will be more than happy to show you around Stockholm and even up north. I would also love to take you running in the woods around the lakes close to where I live in Stockholm. Btw, may be your camper van will also take you all the way to South of France and you could visit me down there too to a place called La Londe les Maures (true for all of you laides).
Isn’t it funny how exhilarating it is to run in a group ? I love running alone with my own thoughts (a bit like meditation) but I also get so high from the group dynamic. I have improved my running technic, skills and endurance while running in a group. You get a kick from the encouragements and from a bit of competition 🙂 – you know the : if she can do, I can do it too… I am glad you are enjoying the running club. Going back to Forest femmes on Wednesday next week if I am not knocked off by the flu vaccine (I will get it on the same day). Regarding cholesterol, I definitively should not check it this week because I have been so sloppy eating – so many cravings due to stress. It was too hard to resist, so I thought that it is better to allow it once in a while. I also might need counselling to deal with the stress eating.
@amy46 your wreath is gorgeous and as I am not as talented as you, I bought one instead . It was for a good cause too, as it was at my daughter’s school Christmas market. Each class had a stand selling something for either charity or for sponsoring a class trip. My daughter's class sold crêpes - and guess who had to help with crêpes mix 😀
Speaking to you as an anaesthetic consultant, I got the same anaesthesiologist for both my BC surgeries, a guy with Salvador Dali style moustache and great sense of humour. I will remember him for the rest of my life. It still amazes me that one second I was awake and joking with the guy and the next I am waking up elsewhere and few hours have passed and no recollection of it. Right now, I wish I could do that. wake up few days or years later and have forgotten the time in between.
I concur with Fleur, the 3 valleys are a dream destination for skiing. The options are endless, you can ski at Les Menuires or go down to Meribel, or Val Thorens… or go over to Tignes. You are a snowboarder. Me too. Well, I did not snowboard much the last couple of years as I took up skiing again (not successfully as I managed to break my cruciate ligament in Feb 2020). I started skiing again to get on the lift with my eldest one. In Sweden, there are almost no chairlift, it is mostly 2 people anchor types. My husband is tall and it was too painful to ride with her. I had to do it but with the snowboard it was a bit hard. I have been thinking to pick up snowboard again this year – may be gentler on the ligament. We will see. Otherwise I will just country ski. My husband is trying to convince me to buy a new snowboard as mine is 20 years old… He claims that technology has probably improved and I would enjoy it more. He might be right but I love my board with an evil rabbit on it and my flow binding (although it really makes me look like the old fashion snowboard granny by the youngsters). Still three months until then. Meanwhile I will resume my knee rehab and see what my physiotherapist says about skiing and snowboarding and the stability of my knee.
@TicTok I missed wishing you good luck for you op. Another giant step accomplished. I hope you will get over the pain soon. Crossing my fingers for the results. Waiting is excruciating.
@Sammy73 One more week has passed and I hope that the soreness from RT is gone and eased. Not sure if the plasters I have been given are working wonders or it is a placebo effect. But with the exception of being red like a big sunburn and some itch, I am fine. It is only few days since I finished. I also been told to use a cream with some cortisone if I get serious rashes. No name though. It might help too. OMG - tell me more about your French style Christmas. I hope it is not like my French Christmas, always full of drama… Nice food and wines and pretty clothes but always mixed with dramatic tears, screams and old rancoeur. Like a Vaudeville between my mum and my sister! Very tiring. I wish you the nice food and wines and pretty clothes.
@gardengirl200 I love your approach to skiing, I do pretty much the same but switch the morning coffee by an afternoon one in the glamour cafe or if spring skiing on a sunny terrace. I agree that the prices on the slope are just insane. The same everywhere.
In Sweden, they have installed grills on the slopes, and you have complementary woods next to them, so you can start a fire and bring your own sausages and grilled them. We usually finish the day with grilled marshmallows and hot chocolates. I love this concept and it is really fun for the kids. Did you get an explanation for your veins? Thanks for the tip on the book, the Science of nutrition. I will look for it. I need to get a grip after my week of sloppy eating.
On a positive note, I found my mojo back today and went for a short run to the outdoors gym and trained for an hour by - 6 degrees. I just love it.
Wish me luck for the coming week, less drama and no side effects from flu shot, tamoxifen, hormone treatment and zolendronic acid, all planned this week.
With that long message, I wish you all a nice end of the day. Lots of love to you
Amy 46 lol I was ok the first night but quite sore now ….so I am on them 👍
thanks ladies for your good wishes and always being there 💕