@Love running tout a fait, merci!!
we had a mad 2 day flying visit!! Those bloody storms buggered everything up, but saw the property and its better than any pictures or videos in real life!!
All paperwork done so we will go on a long stay visa and once we get the gite ready for buisness apply for a buisness visa.
We just want to go now but our agent is saying 3 months to sign and get keys. So looking like June!!
So glad your snowboard is better I boarded before and skied and loved both but my bum didn't like the bruises!!
@Purpledaze will be thinking of you on Thursday. Celebrate your husbands life, he wouldn't want you to be sad, I know it's hard but your strong and he knows it. 💕
@delly sorry about your uncle x
@Michelle21 great campervan!! Enjoy some great times!! Sure you will.
I am so sorry to hear about your uncle Gordy.
I can feel the love you had for him and how important he was in the way you describe him. He was fortunate to have you in his life and he surely felt your love.
lots of hugs to you 💕
@Michelle21 Woauh!!!!🤩 Your van looks so cool.
No wonder you are so looking forward to your road trip.
Hey @Michelle21 - Your Duchess the camper is looking very stylish indeed. Am well impressed. How long till her first Christening trip? xXx
@amy46 - I'd clean forgotten you were away on your jollies. Sounds like you had a fab time, and with a little touch of "raciness" thrown in - love it!! Whoopdeedoo, girl 😆
I'm soo with you @Michelle21 - I love Not Going Out. Lee Mack's humour is so witty, sharp and downright daft - just my cuppa. Get yourself some @CT2021, keep you bolstered up whilst on that blummin waiting platform. If I'm not watching Attenborough's (one of my hero's and someone I'd love to share a dinner table with) Planet etc. programmes and my whole assortment of animal programme viewing, I'm often watching comedy on the Dave channel. Did I mention Peppa Pig's one of my guilty pleasures, along with other kids viewing. Honestly, I may be slowly aging bodily (and gracefully of course 🤔), but my mental age is definitely going backwards and more bonkers. And I don't care 😉 Nearly had a go on a kids scooter in the park today, but for fear I might break it and have one previously happy, but then majorly upset kiddywink to cope with.
@Love running - Listen to you. I don't think you needed a snowboard. You sound to be "hovering high" on your recent good news and happy relief. Long may it continue.
Same goes to all of you lovelies.
Well Girls, I've shed some tears today. @TicTok's and my same day fellow birthday "triplet", my dear Uncle Gordy has gone 😢 The poor man lost a full leg back in 2014, in his 80's (yes yikes) due a blocked artery, so spent his days in an electric wheelchair. Still took himself out to his beloved Hereford Cathedral Evensongs with help from fantastic taxi's with ramps and very patient drivers. Then suffered a stroke two years ago, which made him totally bedridden.
Just celebrated his 90th, Jan 14th. Sent him some cheerful Sunflowers to look at. Loved his classical music, so I've had some of his and my shared favourite pieces on all day, such as Vaughen Williams' The Lark Ascending, Delius and Elgar - beautiful, soothing and cathartic, and I've been full of loving thoughts and memories of him. He was one of my best buddies, with always a special place in my heart. We were like two peas in a pod, even shared similar laughable irritating habits 🤔, as well as good ones 🤗 One of the two nicest, kindest men I've known, the other being my Dad ❤️ It's been something of a comfort to know he's now finally at peace. Love you always, my darling "Gordy"
It's been such a beautiful day today, so took myself out for a breather and some nature therapy in my little country park just round the corner. It has a lake, so fed the ducks and the somewhat lonely female, Swannie (lost her mate recently), climbed the hill to view the crystal clear lovely views across to the Derbyshire hills, and had a chat with a few people on a stunningly sunny walkabout. Did me a lot of good and just the nice gentle lift I needed.
Lots of love to EVERYONE, Dellywellydingdong xxXX❤️XXxx
Hi @Purpledaze - Ohhh, it's soo good to hear from you, flower. Thank you so much for posting how you are. From your words, your husband sounded to be a lovely, lovely man, and Thursday a special day in the saddest sense, in that it's also a "celebration" to commemorate his life. And. . . . YOURS, in the special love and happy times you shared together, the strength he gave you, and I'm sure his memory will continue to give to you. I too shall be thinking of you that day. ❤️
So nice to hear from you.
Your husband seemed to be a wonderful and wise person. He must have loved you deeply. I hope you will keep on hearing his voice telling you to keep on fighting, keep on taking caring and keep on getting better and keep on walking and running
For the emotional rollercoaster, we are sitting with you on this bumpy ride.
I will be thinking about you and your lovely husband on Thursday.
love and hugs 💕
it seems that it can add pictures with my phone. I took this one to show you the Scandinavian style flat we are staying at in the north of Sweden.
I just wanted to say that you are incredibly strong. I know how it feels to go to a party alone when they are only couple. I used to be my mum date as she became a widow early. She once said that at the end she did not mind anymore because she danced with more partners than her married friends. All danced mostly with their own husband while my mum danced with all them. They took turn to make her dance.
The other thing is that I have thinking about you today on the slopes. It is not the Alpes but there is no queue…. It is a very small resort. It was just perfect to start snowboarding again. The sun was shining today.
Unfortunately there is no croissant, tartiflette or raclette… but I made crêpes tonight and we even had an after ski!!!!
Luckily the cousins are with us, so we put the teens together and they can ski together and are less annoyed with us. Actually they played in the snow, sledding and snow ball fighting after dinner for 1h30.
Tonight I will sleep well and happy
@amy46 it is so fun to read your post and I am so happy you had a great holidays.
It seems that it was precisely what you needed. Even the skinny dip😂. All of it boosted you mood but also your self confidence. Well done on the drop the wig! It is scary at first but do liberating actually.
Next thing is to resume snowboarding. Today I was on the slopes for the first time in 2 years. I tried out my new snowboard and it is unbelievable. Technology has improved a lot (as compared to my 22 years old board). I was scared at first but by the end of the first slope the sensations were back. So don’t hold back. even my husband thought I was better than before.
So today I felt normal again.
As the other said, don’t feel like an intruder and hijacker of this thread. I myself felt an intruder at first since I am French living in Sweden. But this group welcomed me so well and this group was the best thing that had happened to me when I was looking for support.
Everyone is welcome and this group has been great for support and advice.
I can’t really give any advice as I am not TN. But I relate on the horror of waiting. Waiting is excruciating. I just got reminded recently when I found a mass in my healthy breast. I had to wait 2 and 1/2 weeks for a mammogram and ultrasound. It turned out well but it has been hard to shut off the anxiety while waiting.
It is normal that you feel exhausted after an infection and an antibiotic cure. It takes the last strength in your body. Rest and drink a lot. In few days, you will feel hopefully better and will be able yo do more.
Our patience is tested all along this journey.
take care and welcome
Dear lovely ladies, thank you so much for all your messages, kind words, and caring thoughts. This forum has been a 'saving grace' for me through diagnosis, treatment and end of treatment, and now you are also lifting me up with your strength, compassion and humour. As we all know, life deals us some truly sh*%! blows, and often there is little we can do but roll with the sh*! (while trying not to roll in it! 😂), but along the way we find incredible people who just by their words, the time they take to reach out and let you know that you are held in their thoughts, can help ease some of our anguish. You have done that for me time and again, and even now when you are all dealing with the rollercoaster of cancer and your own fears and troubles, you continue to be there for me. Thank you!
My husband's funeral is on Thursday - it has taken much longer than usual due to covid backlog... Many good friends and my family will be there to support me and to join me in remembering my wonderful husband.
I can hear his voice telling me to take care of myself, to focus on my recovery, and to ensure I have my check-ups. I will do this, although I worry about how the emotional stress of my grief will impact on my cancer recovery... But in his honour and in thanks to you amazing ladies, I get myself up and out each morning to walk and/or run!
It is lovely to read how you are all taking stronger and longer strides beyond cancer. Keep striding out! Xx
@amy46 @I had to reply straight away your happiness is bouncing off the page! The trip has definitely done you so much good and brought you some relief from the constant anxiety. I’m really pleased for you. We have been doing a bit of holiday planning ourself a now our camper van is done. I’ll post a pic of it. It feels good to have something to look forward to and your post definelty radiates the holiday vibe!
I smiled when I read about you wanting to lie in the grass, I totally get it. Weird the feelings this throws up isn’t it?
@CT2021 sorry to hear about your infection, hope you feel better soon. I like what you are say about the residual and cape, it’s a more positive way of looking at my situation, we need all the positives we can get!
@delly i haven’t seen the dog program but it sounds very heartwarming. We have taken to watching sitcoms before bed. We have worked through Friends from start to finish and Not Going out with Lee Mack. Both seem to have helped, we are on the lookout for the next series now preferably something we haven’t seen before!
Hello my lovely friends.
I’m just back from a fantastic week in Fuerteventura. We flew out the day after I finished my radiotherapy. It was such a good move, just being in a different place, feeling warm and feeling the Sun on my face was such a tonic. I felt almost normal again which was such a delight. I was so lucky with my radiotherapy and didn’t really get any side-effects at all so I could go in the water. Our apartment was right on the sea by a gorgeous lagoon with aquamarine water. I took a leaf out of Barbara‘s book and braved being by the pool and on the beach without my wig. I could feel a few looks but I tried not to care and I was having such a lovely time with my family it didn’t really matter.
We climbed a volcano went out in Dune buggies, ate cake by the ocean and enjoyed croissants from the local French bakery. I even had a few glasses of wine which tasted divine after my months of abstinence! Both my husband and my daughter had their birthdays whilst we were there. My husband turned 50 and my daughter turned 14. My husband and I went skinny-dipping on the night of his birthday! The kids were mortified and delighted in equal measure! Not something I can say I’ve done on a regular basis throughout my life but I just thought what the hell, seize the moment, who knows if I get a chance to do this again! I wish I could post photos (not of the skinny dipping obviously 😂) but they won’t seem to upload from my phone.
It was just so nice not thinking about cancer and treatment. I felt physically well and not anxious and it made me realise that I’ve either felt not well or anxious or both for most of the last seven months.
So, enough about me. Not sure I’ll be able to catch up entirely as I have missed quite a few bits of the thread but here goes. First up @loverunning
Yah hurrah hurrah! You have been on my mind a lot as I could totally imagine how you must have felt feeling another lump and waiting for the investigation and result. Bloody brilliant news, I am so happy for you!
@TikTok love seeing the pictures of your little grandson. My mum has played a very active role in my kids lives and the relationship between them is a beautiful one. I’m sorry things have been so hard for you with your daughter, but I’m glad you find so much joy in your grandson. He is lucky to have you.
@gardengirl200 You posted about your night out and I could completely empathise. I don’t feel in any way ready to face the world particularly not in a sociable situation where people are having a few drinks and a laugh. Part of the reason why we didn’t go to our place in Devon last week was that I just couldn’t face the idea of seeing our friends and neighbours down there. I wanted to be somewhere where no one knew me. I think I’ve posted on here before about this feeling I get of being separated from friends by an invisible barrier it’s almost like I’m watching myself interacting but I’m not really there. It’s hard enough going to these things on your own when most of the people are in couples never mind after what you’ve been through. I think you are super brave. Hopefully with time this will get better for all of us.
@delly I love your posts, whether they are to me or any of the other ladies here. They somehow buzz with your energy and I find them uplifting and supportive so thank you.
@Purpledaze I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you are holding up. Are you still getting outside for some nice walks?
@michelle I don’t think you’re crazy about watching lambs being born. I think it’s to do with bringing yourself back to nature and the idea that we are part of something much much bigger, part of something that was here long before we arrived and will still be here long after we have gone. I remember a couple of times shortly after I was diagnosed going for a run or a walk and being overcome with a desire to lie down in the field and put my face to the soil. I didn’t, probably because I’m a bit too British, someone might have seen me, but I’ve changed a lot and learnt a lot about myself in the last seven months and I think if that feeling came again I would just go with it.
@CT2021 I was diagnosed with triple negative in June last year, I had my surgery first because they were uncertain about the Her Receptor state and I started chemo in August. I finished my radiotherapy just over a week ago. I hijacked this group too, initially because I was trying to get some running tips from Barbara but I stayed because the group was so supportive and I just felt like it was the right place for me to be. The waiting game is horrendous. There is just no getting round it, it was absolutely the worst part for me but it will end and you will feel better again once you have the information and you can make a plan. Do you have a date to get your results? Hopefully not too long xx
To everyone else. Hope you are doing ok. So grateful for this wonderful supportive group xx
So grateful for your replies. My drain got infected so bad to go back into hospital for IV antibiotics. It was sooooo painful .. obvs had nothing to compare it to when asked how much is the Pain on a scale of 1-5 🤷♀️🤷♀️ Of course now realise a lot of the pain from the infection but you don’t know if you are being soft do you??
i am finding I just want to rest and stay in bed and if do anything I’m exhausted. Finish antibiotics tomorrow so hopefully that will help.
@Michelle21 totally agree re the ‘classification’ of chemo response - feels too blunt to me. Can’t bear thr thought of more chemo but guess I’d have to do it. Plus in my head I think would it be better to have say a few mm of residual cancer left in order to ‘qualify’ for Cape as opposed to complete response where wouldn’t get it, if that makes sense?
Hi @Michelle21 - I can soo relate to your desire to watch some lambs actually being born. I would love to see that too. Please can I come?? 😆
A few years ago, I took myself off to a, what d'ya call it where you can pet animals? A "petting farm"? Not to watch births but just to tick a loong desire I'd had to be able to ((hold)) and cuddle a lamb😊 They gave everyone a plastic apron to put on, and I found out "why" from the person in front of me in the queue. Mmmm yeh, the brown downside of newborns!! I was lucky with mine - awww, I just loved cuddling one. What a simple, but gorrrgeous experience 🤗
I love watching ANY animal progs on tv, as long as they aren't eating each other. Yes, I know it's all part of nature, but I have to turn away to such. If you haven't yet seen it, look out for "The Dog House", where they pair up suitable dogs to suitable adoptees. It's just such a happy programme, with "Happy Doggy After" endings. Yey.
Honestly - who wants to watch all these endless programmes on murder rehashes, still more about the Yorkshire Ripper. Seems to be an inane fascination to keep making and then showing hours of such progs! It's bad enough reading about such in papers - I'll get off my rant now.
@Love running - Oh, that's such BRILL news, girl. I meant to say earlier on, you're course sounded GREAT. What a nice "lift". And YES, we DO need to keep giving our bodies the PRAISE they so rightly deserve. Especially all you running girls!! Lots of Delly Praises being sent to you all👏❤️
@gardening-girl - Awww, I'm chuffed my little admiring message hit the right spot at the right time. You're very deserving and welcome, sweetheart 😍
@TicTok - I was very glad to hear your daughter IS doing better than she was. Hey, I've fancied Cuba too, from what I seen on travel programmes. Looks pretty exciting and interesting sights. And Humming Birds sipping from beautiful exotic flowers!! Just the Latino rythmn and dancing gets me going💃🕺! and warm sunny climes, yey 😎
@CT2021 - Hi flower. We've recently met on other posts. Sorry to hear you're now waiting (arrghhh) on results. Try and keep yourself "up" with some daft films and good company to help distract you. And keep posting on the Forum 😘
@amy46 and @Sammy73 - My apologies, I'm conscious I haven't posted much to either of you yet. Please don't take it personally, I sometimes only pop on for a quickie, and only read back so far, so think I keep missing you. Haven't seen you on for a while. Hope you're both doing okay?? 😍 Whoops, just read your quick post below, Sammy and edited mine.
Loads of love to EVERYONE, DellyDooDaah xxXX❤️XXxx
Ct2921…. Hi you are very welcome to join us anytime … the dreaded waiting game plays havoc with our heads and life’s I really hope your results are positive for you …. Sending you very best wishes x
Love running …. Yippie I am so happy for you 😁 the best news …. After all that stress and anxiety sending you lots of love and hugs xx
Hi @CT2021 no problem with commenting on this thread. You are right they are a great bunch here. I am also TN, had chemo, surgery and rads. Unfortunately for me my histology came back with 6 lymph nodes still infected. I had a partial response. I find their categorisation hard because it’s either no response, partial or complete. My response obviously wasn’t enough to kill the cancer in the lymph nodes which I do find really plays on my mind every day.
I am now on capecitabine which is a chemo tablet given post surgery particularly for TN I believe. I am just hoping that all the cancer has been removed and if there is any left that these tablets will do the job. I have them for 8 cycles which is 6 months so I will be finished in May. I am keeping my fingers toes and everything else crossed very tightly.
I hope you do not have to wait long for your results I get it is a time of limbo but try and enjoy the time if at all possible. Plan lots of things to keep you busy and distracted. Good luck x
@Love running I am so pleased and relieved for you. I’m sure you will have a great weekend now! Onwards and upwards xx
Just came out from my mammogram and ultrasound - it is liposome, basically a fat node. I have never been so happy to be fatty 😅. They also did the first year control and everything looks normal.
I am crying of stress relief, of happiness and people in the bus look at me like I am a nut
Hope you don’t mind me posting on this thread. I sometimes come on here and certain chats resonate and this one does for me. You all sound fab and so supportive to each other.
i was diagnosed TN in August 2021, started chemo Sept and just finished In Jan. Had mastectomy a week ago and waiting for histology results. Ended up back in hospital with an infection but think on the mend now but still very uncomfortable.
I know the cancer has responded to treatment Just don’t know how much yet. I have one identified affected node and calcifications hence why had to have mastectomy. Don’t know anything about these calculations- as far as I understand it they wont know until histology if benign or not.
Feel like I’m in limbo atm as until get the results won’t know if need further treatment. It’s a constant waiting game! X
Had written a long message on Sunday which I see did not post. 😞
anyway, I just wanted to say congrats to @TicTok for the goals! How proud u must be ! … it is so good I think for boys to be passionate about sport to keep the dreaded Xbox hours at bay. I have a 19 year old son who is fantastic but he spends a ridiculous amount of time on Xbox.
@delly @Thank you for you earlier post. I got up on Sunday feeling a bit blue, feeling silly that I had shared my feelings from the night before ( I have a tendency to ‘overthink’! ), and went on to delete my post and I saw your reply. It made me feel so much better and reminded me that with this ‘cancer shit’, perspective is everything! You made me feel strong not sad. So thank you.
@Michelle21 likewise Michelle, you show such kindness and empathy; I think you said you are retired but I hope you previously had a job where these skills were used and appreciated!
@Love running I will be thinking of you on Friday. 💪💪💪😘😘😘. I’m also going to investigate these courses!
@amy - I don’t know if you saw liz O’riordon’s post yesterday on Instagram?? It really broke my heart. Just shows you how tough this bloody cancer thing is for everyone, even those in the public eye who put such a brave and practical face on most of the time. But we all understand.
this is written in haste as I need to get to work!
Loverunning course booked for the 7th of March our 41st Anniversary he won’t recognise me lol….. all these lovely holiday places my heads not capable of making decisions , going to have a look at these places …. Thank you xx
@TicTok First I just wanted to say as the others said before that I am honoured that you feel comfortable with us to share some of the hardest moments of your life. This monthly thread has been my best discovery on this journey, the place where I can confine and not be judged, a place where I can support and advice from women that know. I know you know...
As a mother, we just want what is the best for our children, it must be so difficult to watch your daughter struggle and make bad choices. My sister is similar and it breaks my mum's heart and mine but we keep on hoping. I really hope that one day, she will sort out her life and be back on track. I know that she will be fortunate to have there by her side and to have this amazing mum. You seem to have done very well with your grandson and he is the one that matters now. He too must be so proud of his grandma. 4 goals... I will be looking out for this little guy on the future
Regarding the workshop, I just register online (on the top there is a button book a wokshop): https://lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqRzXotAx7ykUuyO8gKYmMJPVoeHFM0_7qck...
I love this foundation, they offer so many free good courses (I did the make up one and the meditation one too) and for me it was great as it is via zoom. They also offer on site workshops which could be really nice for your in the UK. The trainer (her name was Gail) was so nice and helpful. She gave many examples and tips. It was interactive, so there were a lot of questions regarding clothing, colours and style. I really liked it.
I have registered for an online chair yoga session for beginners sometimes in March. I have decided to take all the good things in life, the love and the care from where I can get it.
I second @Michelle21 suggestion of Cuba. I was there on a holiday with my mum more than 15 years ago. I really liked it, the history, the architecture, the old american cars and the nature. And the sun and the sea!!!! Unfortunately I did not speak Spanish so I feel i missed out on meeting the real people, and met and chat only the ones that are dealing with tourists. But all of them were so nice and warm. It is super safe for tourists.
Or I could throw in the suggestion box: Martinique, Guadeloupe or Ile de la Reunion, Mauritius. I have been trekking at the Ile de la Reunion when I was 20 and I also can recommend it. It is so beautiful and wild. The food is nice and the ti punch delicious.
take care and have a lovely Monday
Loverunning …. That course sounds interesting did you apply for it or was you invited ? As Someone told me they do a course similar after radiotherapy , I tend to stick to the same ol same ol could do with some different advice ….. I will be thinking of you on Fri and sending lots of love and hugs xx
Gardengirl…. Thank you and yes very difficult hence the stress level going through the roof .I can imagine how difficult your evening was but you were strong and got through the evening and yes I have felt in a different planet since the start of this the only improvement is I feel my head is slightly clearing of thick fog …. My little man scored 4 goals yesterday 💙😁.
love to all you ladies xx
Delly … I understand why you would think that but I know that is not the case this time ,we also had a bad time in her early 20’s when it was the case 😱where she had a bad experience and has never been there since it seams to be these people she is attracted to most . I have prayed and prayed for a turn around all though things are better than they were there is a long way to go BUT I am not stressing anymore it is what it is x
michelle … thanks for your lovely message and course I don’t mind you suggesting places for holidays , you do come up with some lovely ideas ….thank you x
This is such an amazing thread I feel so lucky to be a part of it. Like @delly @said it is good to have an understanding of what else is going on in each of our lives. Don’t ever apologise @gardengirl200 or suggest your worries are trivial in comparison with others. You would more than likely be more ‘over’ your ex if you hadn’t had to go through cancer. I laugh inwardly when friends talk about COVID affecting them living their lives, if they only knew the affect of cancer. It breaks us right down and slowly we have to build ourselves up again and whilst trying to rebuild we have scares and worries with every ache and pain and scan along the way that knock us back down again. In addition to this we have life to contend with, whether that is family issues like @TicTok , grieving over a lost relationship like yourself, @Purpledaze grieving the loss of her husband or me still trying to come to terms with losing my mum. Unless you have been through this you cannot begin to understand, we have been living on a different planet. If this is any help to anyone I did come back to earth after my last cancer, it took two years to begin to feel like myself again but I was beginning to feel like me again and you will too. X
@TicTok I found your last post really touching, it must have been incredibly difficult to make the custody decision for your grandson but it seems you knew best and your grandson is thriving from it. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to accept your daughters choices and having to let her get on with making her own mistakes. Hopefully one day she will wake up and realise what a wonderful mum she has and make some sensible life choices. Like @delly said I think you are brave to open up and I feel privileged to know you a little bit more.
I have thought more about your holiday, Cuba is supposed to be an interesting place to visit. Beautiful scenery, Sun and interesting history. I’ve never been, I was supposed to go on a trek there this year but had to cancel because it is in May and I will still be on chemo then. I hope you don’t mind me throwing random travel ideas out there to you!
Stay safe in this stormy weather x
@Love running Hi, it was so good to read how your body session went. I can relate to so much of it. After my first cancer I felt incredibly let down by my body and also in myself for not noticing it sooner. However I am someone who doesn’t really dwell on the what if’s too much I feel it is important to look forward, but when I get my second cancer it became even harder to look forward. I try to accept that a bunch of rogue cells might be rampaging through my body but my body is working so hard to get through the treatment and ultimately try to heal.
Our bodies are amazing things for everything they have done for us, there is nothing more miraculous than growing a baby inside your own body. I live on a farm and have asked my neighbour if I can watch when her next lambs are born. New life is amazing and I hope being witness to it will help me come to terms with things just a little bit more. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone?
Enjoy the weekend, I hope your weather is better than we are having in the UK, currently being battered by storms! X
@gardengirl200- Hi Fleur
I have to admire your SPUNK, wee lassie 👏❤️ I do not wish to sound at all condescending, but "Well Done You", feeling alone and "tested", but you DID IT!! Got yourself through such a difficult "first" for you. What an achievement.
Admiringly, Delly x❤️x
@TicTok so sorry to hear what you’ve been through. Very, very difficult.
That was a lovely photo u posted earlier of your grandson. He looks like a lovely young man.
I agree Delly, sharing feelings is a good thing. Im just in from a belated black tie Burns Supper ceilidh. First ‘event’ with all the neighbours for over 2 years. We used to go to this Burns Supper ceilidh annually but this was the first one I’d been to without my husband. It was pretty tough. Had to use all my strength not to cry at one point. My friends are lovely but I did feel very ‘alone’ as everyone else was in a couple. But I did it ( I had to go as it was a friend’s birthday celebration) and I did at least dance a few dances. But I’m not sure I’d rush to do it again. Does anyone feel on a slightly different planet to everyone else now that we have had cancer. Nobody knows how strong we have had to be. They have no idea. I felt really tested tonight in an unexpected way.
im sorry I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive when I know others are going through much worse.
love to all . Xx
I've just sent this message to Purpledaze:-
I've been asking after you on the May Chemo thread. There's no need to reply.
I Just wanted to send you my heartfelt sympathy, and share some words from a card sent after my Dad, Mums or brothers death (can't now remember which) :-
"A loved one is a treasure of the heart, and losing a loved one is like losing a piece of yourself.
But the love that this person brought you did not leave, for the essence of their soul lingers. It cannot escape your heart, for it has been there, and always will be there, forever.
Cling to the memories and let them find their way to HEAL you.
Though you may not feel it right now, the love and laughter, the joy in the togetherness you shared, will eventually help to make you strong.
So keep your heart beating with the loving memories, and trust your faith to guide you through.
Know that, though life moves on, the beauty of love stays behind to surround and "embrace" you.
Your loved one has left you that . . . . to hold in your heart forever". (Debbie Peddle)
Sending you much love and strength, to you and your family, Delly X❤️X
Keep kicking that butt, "Warrior Women". Loadsa lovey dovey stuff to you ALL, Dellywelly xxxX❤️❤️❤️Xxxx
@TicTok - Thank You for your message. But Awww, sweetheart, I'm sooo very sorry to hear of all your prolonged emotional family upset with your daughter, boyfriend and grandson. Jeez, what a dreadful shi**y time you've had of it.
And . . . Thank You for opening up so much. I greatly respect you for it. Takes some guts and courage to, especially publicly on the Forum. I think people are often so busy dealing with the main "purpose" of what it's about, i.e. cancer, that peoples personal life is very much kept quietly in the background. Perhaps from a desire to not "dilute" it? Reveal and off-load the very personal stuff going on in their/our lives. I think it does more good than harm, though. Also gives us a deeper understanding of that person we're often typing to, what "other" things they're having to contend with in their lives that we "may" also be able to be supportive with.
I don't think Your daughter knows how lucky she is, TicTok. Sounds like she very much needs help. Apologies for being so blunt (that's me, sorry), but her attraction and strong attachment to this drug dealer "boyfriend" smacks of something other than love - Does she perhaps have a silent or secret drug problem herself? that he is feeding?
Hope you can get a missile and Co-vid FREE holiday sorted very soon, to have a much needed and deserved break!
Much love to you ALL, Doolally xX❤️Xx
Delly ….I am sorry to here your cancer came back again and so soon , that’s the dread we are all carrying 😕it’s a big hurdle to deal with , I think mine was also stress and maybe to much drink at that time . It’s nearly 4 years at Easter when my daughter dropped my grandson off and said she needed a break , I could see he was not so happy as he previously had been 🥲she was then seeing a drug dealer who was aggressive and seamed to control her and went on later to hit her etc etc ….so we took the decision with our son in law who also had not been an angel to not let Kai go back there so between us he is a very happy boy and his dad has upped his game 100%. Meanwhile she carried on seeing the (love of her life ) who beat her up and still she stayed with him until he went to prison and nearly took her with him , she doesn’t admit it but she has stayed in touch with him and he is now out and she is seeing him again 😱……this ripped us to bits and we are more or less bringing him up up the stress was horrendous and I wonder if this is the cause 😟.
have a lovely weekend all xx
@Love running - Well, as you still refer to yourself as a "Warrior", I feel permitted in continuing to refer to you ALL on this thread as such again, without causing offence.
So Hi, to all you "Warrior" Women.
Love Running - I know just what you mean, ref "feeling let down, losing "trust" in your body". I felt exactly the same. Ate well (Mediterranean type diet, and low cholesterol/sugar - never had a sweet tooth), regularly exercised, so was "Fit" (felt in my "peak" phys condition at time of BC diag), moderated alcohol etc. But STILL developed and diagnosed with it - And to add insult, TWICE, less than a year apart, with a different type of second Primary.
I could only put it down, in my case, to having had a prolonged "stressed" time (stress is very much a silent killer!) Took a looong time to begin/relearn to "trust" my bod again, until I began to read of the fittest of athletes being diagnosed. Olympians and the likes. Which all helped to get my head around it more, and begin "trusting" it again.
But . . . I also think it (cancer) likely to have been around a long time, and it having been an "unknown" cause of many previous loss of life. There just weren't the methods to see "it" before, "study" it, and to then develop and "try" treatments for it. Not until more recent years, Love Running.
Or . . . . Is it very much a more "recent" disease, caused by our more developed ways of living, that aren't/haven't necessarily been a GOOD thing to us humans, physically, AND mentally. Hence a massive increase in depression and other mental disorders in latter years.
@TicTok - I can't believe your holiday choice now being affected by fflippin "missiles", let alone Co-vid probs!! What!! What a weird world, hey.
Sending Lots of Love to Everyone, DoolallierbythedayDelly xX❤️Xx
I just wanted to let you know that I took part of the body confidence workshop offered by look good feel better yesterday. I can recommend it. I lifted my mood and I got to know which color palette I belong to. It was nice to get tips and advice on style. Before the workshop, you receive a booklet and a questionnaire which helps you define your view on yourself and your style.
After the workshop I reflected that:
I love my body with all its imperfections. I am not the standard of beauty from the magazines. I am still angry at it for letting me down and letting cancer cells take over a part of me and for breaking down.
May be I let my body down too when I put it through a lot of stress these last couple of years.
But this body carried my kids. This body is now fighting to heal, it has picked me up from the ground and lifted me up again. This body supported me through chemo. This very body is carrying me around now and is capable of running and exercising.
So I realise that I need to respect and love that body with all its imperfections. I will be kind to my body and we might have more fall out in the future (mammogram and ultrasound planed for next Friday) but for now, it is the body of warrior and I love it.
I guess I needed this workshop to make peace with my body. I wish you a nice week- end loving yourselves.
Michelle21… Hi we have never looked at anywhere like that sounds beautiful , it’s putting us off a bit with a long haul with all the tests and extra expense of isolating there if we got it as when you start to read the small print it’s a bit scary and would be just my luck .
Well after a bad start with my clutch breaking Monday morning on my way to radiotherapy and ending up having to get the bus half way there and arriving 2 minutes to 9 it has gone all ok , one more to go 😁.
love to everyone xx
@Purpledaze I am so so sorry to hear your news. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. It is good to hear you have support from family and friends and I hope you find inner strength in this horriblest of times. Life is truly harsh and totally unfair at times. Sending you my very best wishes and , as others have said, you are in my thoughts. Xx