MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

[gardengirl200]

@amy46 I’m so sorry to hear your having a wobble. I think half way through chemo is a very tough stage. Everything comes home to roost then!  I don’t know what age you are but I was pre menopause and the effects of a few chemo ( not the first couple) effectively brought on early menopause- anxiety being the main symptom. I was weepy and worried. Of course there are reasons to worry with BC, but might menopause be also playing a part?  And are you on steroids cause they just make the anxiety worse in my experience? It’s a really shit combination of everything. That’s why I think we are all so amazing. It’s not just breast cancer, it’s the hormones and emotions into the bag too. It is far far harder on occasion than people realise; but I think, given how tough it is, we do cope better than we could have imagined. For me the anxiety and weepiness passed after a few days although it was important to roll with it and let it out at the time. Might Maggies be an option too? 

I don’t know much about TNBC, other than I read they have made massive progress on treatments. I always thought it is now more the stage the BC is detected at rather than the type of BC that is the big issue?? I worry about lobular too cos it’s nicknamed ‘the sneaky cancer’ and shows up again in places ductal doesn’t. It’s also under researched compared to ductal and known for not being very responsive to chemo. I worry that I’ve gone through chemo for no real gain snd about  the bad cells lurking. But I think looking to the future, there are too many ifs and buts. Anything could happen in any respect. And I suspect we eat better and exercise more then many so that might put us slightly ahead of the stats? And I just go back to what a friend who had BC 11 years ago said to me when I was first diagnosed. ‘With BC, just deal with the facts you know,  there is no point worrying about the things you don’t know.’. And I think that’s right. I have ( had? ) stage 3 BC, but I’m not going to let the worry of that get me down every day. Of course I say this having just had clear scans but I now look back on the last 6 weeks or so and think it was a shame I worried myself sick before I had the facts. Easier said than done, I know. 

big hug. Xxxx 

[Michelle21]

@gardengirl200

I am so pleased for you, what a relief! A few days away with your kids sounds like just what you needed. It is worrying how much mental anguish can affect your physical health. I like your attitude going forward, trying not to over think every little thing but get the big things checked out. 
@amy46 I have written a bit on the capecitabine thread but I totally feel for you and know how you feel because I regularly have exactly the same thoughts and worries. I think being given the TN diagnosis makes it a bit scarier and I think we will have times when we are terrified and times we are managing to keep our heads above water. Definitely stay away from Google, it will never be your friend. I hope you feel better soon xx

[amy46]

@gardengirl200  I am so happy to hear your good news and also that @Michelle21  had A positive appointment! What a relief for you both. It’s really nice hearing you both sounding so upbeat. I’m having a massive wobble for some reason. Half way through my chemo and physically coping pretty well, but the last few days my anxiety has gone through the roof again and I just keep thinking whatever I do now it’s going to come back and I won’t get to see my children growing up. I just can’t seem to get myself out of it and feel tearful all the time. I made the mistake of doing some googling and now im convinced  I’m going to get distant metastasis which seem to be the thing with TNBC. I just don’t know how to stop feeling like this. I probably need to take my own advice and just wait. 
I really am genuinely delighted you both got good news xxx

[gardengirl200]

That’s really great news Michelle. 👍👍👍 It sounds like we have both found and dealt with our lumps just in time which is nerve wracking but all that matters. And it’s great they can throw everything at it just to stop any  pesky miscroscopic cells that could possibly be there. That’s not a proper medical description I know ; it’s just how I see it in my head. 

I had a good day at the hospital too. Like you, I had utterly convinced myself of the worst and was struggling a bit to get through each day leading up to appointments. I had 2 separate scans, which I had requested because of my worries, in addition to the CT scan I requested a few weeks ago. All credit to the NHS, they have given me every scan I asked for! The first was an ultrasound of my neck as just before my rads, 3 weeks ago, I had a swollen lymph node on my neck. I have a friend who has stage 4 BC and that was her first symptom so I had been freaking out. The lump had reduced in interim and the radiologist said it was definitely  not cancer, probably reaction to something else, even the tick bite I’d had 2 days earlier. He was so nice he also took the time to go over the CT scan and show me every part of my body looking clear. Honestly, if he’d asked me to marry him there and then I’d have said yes! 🤣. Then I had my endoscopy ( cos that’s hard to be sure of on a CT scan) looking right down my throat, my stomach and below and it was all fine. I have been having difficulty swallowing snd been very burby. They think just silent reflux exacerbated by stress. I didn’t have any sedation so she talked me through all the procedure ( which was hideous) but at the end of it I was so relieved, I just became a bit of an emotional wreck. Nurses lovely as ever. I am quite a stoic, not a drama queen at all, but as we know, this can take its toll, and it’s also tough going through without a partner. So tears just a reflection of the stress of the last 7 months. I also realise that if stress could make the swallowing symptoms so much worse, it’s revealing on how much mental stuff can impact physical. So determined to reduce stress as much as possible. 

I headed off to St Andrews for a couple of nights with my two teenagers and it was just lovely. Lots of great dog walks snd food. 

I realise the road ahead will have little and big worries, that’s just the nature of BC, but I’m not going to worry in silence, I’m going to get any significant issue checked out, but other than that, I am going to eat well most of the time, keep active, be positive and enjoy every day! 
xx 

[Michelle21]

Fleur I hope your scan went well and you don’t have a long wait for results.

What a difference a day makes. I had a really good appt with my oncologist. She is asking for a ct scan to get a benchmark and to justify the next treatment that she is prescribing me. She said she is not expecting to see anything there, phew! In my head she thought it had spread and wanted evidence. Because of the partial response and being TN she is going to give me capecitabine for 6 months after rads. It is a chemotherapy tablet that shouldn’t interfere with life too much 🤞Although one S/E is sore feet which I really hope doesn’t affect me because of walking and running but we will see. I will also be having rads to the breast and lymph node area and Zometa injections every 6 months. I feel like they are throwing everything at it which has to be good and that I have done all I can. I really really don’t want to go through this again.

On a lighter note I went to the theatre last night for the first time in about2 years! There weren’t many people there so we moved seats to give us more space. The show wasn’t the best I’ve seen but it felt good to be doing something like the good old days pre pandemic and pre cancer diagnosis two! 

I loved Glastonbury, it felt very magical and spiritual. We walked up Glastonbury Tor for sunrise which was amazing but unfortunately my appt was in my head the whole time and so I felt very low. 
Still Onwards and upwards now! 

We are going for a country walk this morning with friends and then a pub lunch. 

I hope everyone is able to have an enjoyable weekend. Thanks again for all your amazing support. 
Michelle xxx

[TicTok]

Garden girl….I will be thinking of you tomorrow for your scan and send lots of very best wishes and hugs …..good luck xx

[Michelle21]

Sorry Fleur I hadn’t registered your scan is tomorrow, I wish the best results for you. 
Thanks @TicTok I appreciate your support and hope all is good with you.
Amy thanks for telling me about your friend and Nicki for saying it is unlikely it has spread. You got it right Amy, two radiologists said they couldn’t see any in the nodes so yes hopefully that meant it was microscopic. 

I am trying to settle my mind and all your posts help. I’m so grateful for this site and that I found this thread you are all so kind and supportive. Xx

[amy46]

@Michelle21  I wish I could say something to make you feel better. @Coastal  Is right though, it’s extremely unlikely that anything will have spread during chemo and I think you said radiologically they couldn’t see anything which means in the affected nodes it was microscopic right? This happened to a colleague of mine nearly 15 years ago and she had more chemo and is fine now. 
Fleur I hope all goes ok with your scans. 
I am feeling much better. Not quite normal but heading that way thank you. Which is good because I’m back for more poison tomorrow assuming my white count is high enough. Phone call with oncologist this afternoon. Sending love to you all x

[Coastal]

Hi all

@Michelle21 Hi Michelle, Just to say I'm thinking of you.  I hope you enjoy your break and that the Oncologist on Friday is helpful.  I keep coming back to the fact that during chemo, it's v unlikely for cancer to grow so that's 4 months out of the 6 where it wouldn't have spread.  My oncologist also said that it works for a time after chemo too (my hair has only started growing 6 weeks after chemo).  Do take care of yourself - I'm thinking of you x

@gardengirl200 Hi Fleur - good luck with the endoscopy and neck scan tomorrow x
 @amy46  Sorry to hear you've been poorly - I haven't any experience of Carboplatin but my paxitacel side effects seemed to get better after the first one - I hope this will be the case for you and you feel better soon.  

I'm over halfway through radiotherapy, which seems fine, no side effects so far.  I'm seeing my Oncologist on Monday for a review and to talk about my concerns about my stomach and rib pain and to ask for a scan.  I'm doing alot of gardening to keep my mind off it - digging new veg beds - it's lovely when the suns out. 

Lots of love to all

Nicki xxx   

[TicTok]

Michelle 21 …my heart goes out to you ❤️What a worry for you , I hope you manage to enjoy your couple of days away and wish you all the very best for fri xx

[Michelle21]

Hi Fleur

They have taken out the nodes so at least they aren’t still inside me but the worry is they’ve been spreading cancer over the last 6 months. As you know it’s all so scary. I don’t know when the CT scan will be, it’s usually at least a weeks wait for the results but I am seeing the oncologist on Friday morning so will hopefully know more. 
I like you analogy of climbing a hill without knowing where the summit is and I also like your point about enjoying the ‘not knowing’ times because it can get worse. 
I like jigsaws and find them a good distraction, 3000 pieces will certainly keep you busy! 
Have you finished rads now? Do you know when your scan will be? 
Yes we all need one of Barbara’s caps!! X

[gardengirl200]

@Michelle21 That is so so tough. Middling news but, as you say, you deserved nothing short of the best news. Do you have a wait for your CT scan? Can they take the lymph nodes out? I know they prefer not to do that these days but I wonder if it is an option. As we have said before this is almost a tougher mental battle than it is physical. On the positive, you are very fit so you will be able to cope with more chemo ( however gutting it is to have to get it) and you have certainly found yourself to be mentally resilient in the past few years.  This journey is like climbing a hill without knowing where the summit is. So hard to pace oneself mentally. On the scan side of things, I’ve had what seems like a very long wait for my endoscopy  ( they wouldn’t do until radio was over) and when I panic, I tell myself ‘I’m still standing’ and almost try to enjoy the ‘not knowing’ . Because I know things could be worse. I’m also still ploughing through a 3000 piece jigsaw of the flipping Sistine chapel. But I do find jigsaws steady the mind. Sorry not very helpful because I know being positive is easier said than done. 

I hope you still have some head space to get a decent break. Good food etc. Bet your husband and children are great supports. And yes, Maggies is wonderful. I’ve been in once and need to go back. In the meantime knowing it is there is a comfort.  Big hug. 

Fleur xx 

Ps. I think we should all find out from Barbara where she got her hat. 

[Michelle21]

Hi @gardengirl200 @I’m not sure if it is just for TN. I completely understand the sick with worry feeling. I hope your scan gives you good results. 
I didn’t have the best or the worst results. They took out 30 lymph nodes and 6 still had cancer, my tumour had shrunk but not disappeared. She said I had a partial response, better than no response or spread but not as good as complete response. I have an appointment with the oncologist on Friday. They are going to give me another CT scan which like you @gardengirl200 fills me with fear as I assume they are doing that because there is a chance of spread. If that comes back as no spread it is likely I will have more chemotherapy, whether that will be capecitabine or a different chemo I don’t know yet. I feel totally gutted that it was still in the lymph nodes after 18 weeks of chemo especially as the radiographer said she couldn’t see any evidence in the lymph nodes. I’ve spent the afternoon in Maggies crying to a lady I’ve never met before, she was very nice. 
We go away tomorrow. It are now rushing back on Friday to see the oncologist.also I can’t go in the pool as I had a hematoma so all in all not quite the break we were anticipating. X

[gardengirl200]

@Michelle21Good luck with results. I have my endoscopy on thurs and a neck scan. I had a swollen lymph node which has gone down but still slightly swollen and it’s worrying me, as a friend with stage 4 had a lump in her lymph as first sign that spread. I can hardly write about this without feeling sick with worry; hopefully everything will be ok. 
Is pill chemo drug you mention just for triple neg? 
Ive been reading Rosamund Dean’s articles and I now follow her on Instagram, and now also Julia Bradbury who had her mastectomy yesterday. Although I think hers is non invasive. There is so much BC about! 
Xx 

[Michelle21]

@amy46  I had 3xFEC followed by 12 weeks of paclitaxel with 4 carboplatin. Yes I’m also having Zometa. Depending on my results tomorrow Im also going to ask my oncologist about having capecitabine as that has showed promising results in preventing recurrence in TN. It’s another chemotherapy but in tablet form. 
Hopefully you will feel better in the next day or so. Xx

[amy46]

@Michelle21  Yes TN. I am having the Paclitaxol and Carboplatin first then four rounds of EC. Have felt so good so far that this has been a horrible shock. Are you also having zometa? Xx

[Guest user]

Been reading about it - so good to know that new drugs are in development - it does give hope.

Poppy xx

[Michelle21]

Thanks Amy, yes I will do. It is harder to get through when you feel physically drained. I definitely felt worse on the weeks with carboplatin but the two paclitaxels were easier, as I got towards the end the good days were fewer but it is doable. Are you TN too? X 

[amy46]

@Michelle21 

I have been wondering how you all are. Its always a worrying time going for results. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll get away for a few days with some good news under your belt. 
I haven’t been feeling very well the last three days. Had my third double dose on Thursday where I get the Carboplatin too. Was fine Friday but Saturday I felt tired and yesterday and today I feel poorly. It’s like flu with no other symptoms. It’s the first time I’ve felt unwell really abd now I’m scared this is it for the next 3 months. It’s definitely harder to feel positive when you feel ill. I’m starting to get some odd shooting pains in my fingers and toes too.

Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow. Let us know how you get on xxx

[Michelle21]

Hi all

how is everyone doing?

It’s always good to hear about New drugs and treatments as like you say Nicki it gives us all hope. 
I hope your trip to France has gone well Barbara and Sammy I’m sure you are looking forward to your break as I am. We go away on Wednesday which I am looking forward to but have a small heridle before. Tuesday i see the surgeon and should get the pathology results which I am a little apprehensive about. I think I am due some good news so I’m hoping for the best. 
I read an article in the times magazine written by Rosamund Dean who has BC, she has now started taking Capecitabine a chemo tablet for 6months. Has anyone else been offered this? I am going to talk to my oncologist about it but was curious to know of others experience. 

I hope everyone is as good as they can be and enjoying the sun. 
Michelle xx 

[Coastal]

There an interesting thread on a possible new drug in the v early stages of development called erso.  There's a link to a petition too in case anyone fancies signing.  I've just signed and shared it.  the petition is here  https://www.change.org/p/bayer-possible-breast-cancer-cure-drug

  and the drug is mentioned here https://breastcancernow.org/about-us/media/statements/we-respond-new-study-use-erso-shrink-oestrogen...

Gives one hope! Xxx

[Coastal]

Just a quick hello from me, I've been reading all your posts this last week and have been thinking of you all, sorry I don't post much.  

@Love running Well done for doing your interview and talking about the experience (you are so brave) - it must have been a hard thing to do.  I also wanted to say you looked fabulous in the photo!!!  - really glamourous!  I hope all goes well for you when you see your mum and sister - do take good care of yourself.  

@Purpledaze I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis - that seems so unfair.  I do hope you are both holding up and that he gets a treatment plan soon.  It's such a hard road sometimes, but you will get through it, as you say one day at a time.  I'm wishing you all the very best.

@Michelle21 I'm so sorry that you've been feeling so bad and having a friend pass away too, that must have been so hard for you, I'm sending all of my love.  I too have dark thoughts and struggle with them, I have been utterly convinced I have liver or bone cancer and I think the fear takes over sometimes.  I'm waiting to hear from the Oncology team about my stomach issues but they want me to wait until after radiotherapy.  I'm also not good at insisting on treatment.  You are a very strong and brave person and things will get better.  Hoping that you have a lovely trip away.  

@gardengirl200 Just wanted to say really good luck with the endoscopy, I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.  Your comment on cancer not spreading during chemo made me feel better about my own worries - thank you.  

@Sammy73 Well done for getting to the end of chemo!  and I hope you enjoy your time off before radiotherapy and have a lovely time on your trip away!  Well done! 

Lots of love to all of you inspiring people

Nicki xxx

[Sammy73]

Thanks @Michelle21  have a lovely time away xx

[Sammy73]

Thank you @amy46 

All welcome here!!

It's mad to think we all started this forum over 5 months ago and all our journeys had started differently, so we have all come So far and are still strong to carry on through the next phases. 💪  xx

[delly]

Yeh, Amy, am so pleased your white cell count is up for you. What a somewhat weird thing to congratulate you on.

Also - Taken your long blond wig off, and gently wafted (or not so gently "whipped") its locks across his face! However, such inconsiderate people are  not worth getting upset by or over. xXx  

[amy46]

@Sammy73  Hello! I’m an imposter on here as I really belong with the august starters, but I’ve been finding lots of inspiration for my running here on the may group. Actually I find lots of inspiration for all sorts of things here. So I’d just like to add my congratulations too for finishing your chemo, have a lovely, extremely well deserved break xxx

[amy46]

@Love running  Thinking of you and hoping things are going well with your family. It will be emotional, but sometimes that’s a good thing. Glad you got you covid booster too. I keep thinking now that I should have whipped off my long blonde wig when I was talking to the queue jumper, that would have made a bigger impression! 😂

[amy46]

@Michelle21  I will be thinking of you tomorrow. For what it’s worth I think you’ve made the right decision. 

Thanks for remembering about my blood count when you have so much else to think about. I went for an extra blood test today so that we could plan dose reduction for Thursday if necessary but miraculously my neutrophils had somehow gone from 1.3 to 4.9! I was convinced they’d muddled my result up with someone else’s! I was just thinking how ridiculous it is that this is the thing that’s made me so happy today. How times have changed! 

Sending hugs x

[delly]

@Sammy73  and @Michelle21 - Hope you enjoy your breaks in the New Forest and Glastonbury. You both sooo deserve. That's a lovely way to celebrate your end of treatments so far, Sammy. Is it radiotherapy for you next? Michelle - I hope it recharges your "strength" batteries. I'm certain everyone will understand you not being at your friends funeral. After all, You "would" have been there, if you'd been in a better state to. Glad you've settled your mind not to go.  

@Love running - That's bound to be a very emotional family reunion for you all, when all is revealed. But I'm sure you'll all enjoy it too, as you've also PLENTY to celebrate from reaching as far as you have with it all. Have a great time.

Loads of love to ALL you beautiful Amazonian Warriors. Sending strength to keep kicking (F***ing off Cancer!!!), running, cycling, swimming in icy cold lakes, inspiring, and still having some giggles despite the vagaries and seriousness.

I think you're all amazing women.  Dellypoos xX❤️Xx     

[Michelle21]

Thanks @TicTok & @Love running  for your thoughts tomorrow. I have decided I won’t go to my friends funeral as much as I hate to admit it I’m just not strong enough at the moment. But as was said on here I will be thinking of her, the times we had and the loss her family are experiencing. 
@amy46 I hope your blood count is good and chemo has gone ahead as planned. 
@Love running I wish you the best of luck in France with your mum. I’m sure it will be tough and they will be shocked, and upset that they haven’t been able to support you however I once they are over the initial shock they will understand how hard this has been for you and that you made the right decision.  I hope you are also able to catch up with old friends and enjoy your time back in your homeland. 
@Sammy73 Congratulations on finishing chemo, I’m sure you are experiencing that massive relief that it is done. We are also going away for a couple of nights next week and considered the New Forest but went with Glastonbury as never been there and it is a bit closer to home. I’m also looking forward to being pampered and to having a swim.
Enjoy, I know I will xx

[TicTok]

Love running you sure did shine 😁you look great …… good luck with your trip to France I am sure they will be frustrated that they haven’t been there for you , but you did what was best for you all , glad you are feeling strong enough now xx

michelle21 sending you my very best wishes for tomorrow I hope you get sorted out ASAP xx

Sammy 73 congratulations on finishing chemo 😁well done to you , have a great time away…. I can’t wait one more to go 👍xx

[Love running]

@amy46 

I hope your white blood cells are getting stronger.

I got my 3rd COVID-19 shot yesterday night... Not queue jumper for me. It went smooth and no side effects 💪.

Take care, Barbara

[Love running]

Thank you for all your kind words.

I will need all the strength and the wisdom of Yoda tomorrow as, tonight I am travelling to France. I am going to tell my mum and sister tomorrow about my journey and try to explain why I did not tell them. My childhood friend will pick me late tonight at the airport and I will stay at her place to gather the strength. It will be a roller coaster of emotions but I am ready now.

Thank you all: @TicTok, @Sammy73, @amy46, @gardengirl200(Fleur), @Delly, @Michelle21, @louby_lou69, @purpledaze (Barbara), @Coastal, @Noodledoodle, @Karen, @cumbrian lady, @poacher65, @worriednow (I hope I did not miss anyone)

Love, Barbara

PS: On the day of the race, I had put red lipstick on and paint my nails red too because I wanted to shine on that day and may be levitate a little (like Yoda 😂). I might not look like Yoda to you (although if you look closely, I probably have his ears with the cap pushing them down 😂) but I hope that I gain the little old man's wisdom. 

[Love running]

@Michelle21

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow and I hope I can give some strength.

I also hope you found the right door to bang on to get the medical care and reinsurance you need. 

Lots of love, Barbara

[Love running]

Congratulations @Sammy73  for finishing your chemo. It is so nice to hear that you feel healthy and strong 💪. 

Enjoy your get away and celebration week-end with your husband. You deserved this. Funny isn’t it, how much we miss bathing and swimming when it is not allowed, so enjoy your swim. I did a fall bath in the lake and I loved it. 

I love walking and cycling too, may be one day or path will cross on a walk or a run or a cycle. 

Lots of love, Barbara

[Sammy73]

To all, I havent been on for a while sorry, been a bit pre occupied with all sorts, but last Thursday was last chemo, picc line removal and hormone injection then Fri was  scan plan for radiotherapy and felt very tired over the weekend. Today is bone strengthen injection then no hospital for 14 days and that feels really good. 

I know we are all on slightly different paths but we are all managing in our own ways. I feel strong and healthy and we are going away next week for 3 days to the new forest just me and my man to be waited on at a hotel!!!! Im going to swim and I can't wait!!! 

Lots of love to all xx

[Sammy73]

@Love running 

Barbara well done!! Thank you too. Maybe next year I will run something I'm more of a walker/cycle kinda gal xx

[TicTok]

Love running ….. hey congratulations 👏 fantastic and well done you …..you are a real inspiration to us all  and definitely no yoda 👍xx

[amy46]

@Love running  Wow!! Well done 😊😊😊

I am so pleased for you that you did this race and you look just beautiful! I love the cap too 😂😂

[gardengirl200]

Well done Barbara! Awesome. And lovely photo. Definitely no Yoda! 
xx 😘 

[gardengirl200]

Well done Barbara! Awesome. And lovely photo. Definitely no Yoda! 
xx 

[delly]

Yeh @Love running WELL DONE YOU. And I agree with Michelle, you're looking good and equally on a par with those stars you mentioned - Sigourney Weaver, Charlize Theron or Alicia Vikander!!! 😊

Lots of love to you ALL.  Delly xX❤️Xx  

[Michelle21]

Thanks Shi and Delly. I will get on to it. X

Well done Barbara a fabulous achievement and something you are quite right to be proud of. Thank you for motivating, supporting and inspiring us all. Even before cancer I have found myself getting emotional at runs and burst into tears after my recent parkrun so the emotions of running in a BC race must have been so high. 
I zoomed in onto your picture and didn’t see Yoda or someone struck down with cancer. I saw a beautiful and strong woman whom I am looking forward to meeting in the not to distant future xx

[louby_lou69]

Amazing xx

[louby_lou69]

Amazing 💕

[Love running]

Good morning,

Yesterday I run for you, for us and for all the women out there going through breast cancer and for raising awareness around breast cancer. It was a lovely run with two of my friends. 

There were a lot of women running and spectators cheering. It was nice to be cheered by total strangers, by kids and even single teenager boys. I got a lot of attention as probably being one of the few bald women running (I actually saw none in my start group), unless it is the cap again.

Tears were swelling up and down in my eyes during the whole race and they definitively exploded out at the finish line. The achievement, the pressure and the pride. I was proud of myself and about my journey. We women are not often daring to be proud of ourselves but yesterday I did without shame. 

It was also emotional because when I registered us to this race, I never thought I could or would run it. At the time, I was so sad and depressed because I thought that breast cancer would take everything that defines me from me. But it turned out that running helped me to take some control back and it empowered me. 

I wanted to share a picture of that day with you. 

Love to you all. 

Barbara

[delly]

@Michelle21  - I'm so Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better and more positive. That you had a enjoyable night in the company of very dear friends. Sounds like it was good medicine for you. Also hope you can have your other concerns checked out very soon, and they aren't anything to worry about,  so help your mind feel a bit more settled.

Lots of love to everyone,  Delly  xX❤️Xx   

[Shi]

Michelle go to your trusts pals office. You won’t have to chase then, they will do it for you ❤️Hope that helps 💕💕✨✨Shi xx

[Michelle21]

Thanks Fleur that is very reassuring advice about cancer not spreading but you are right we do need to bang on their door. My problem is I don’t know who to contact; I have 3 different BC nurses because I have been to 3 different hospitals, or my oncologists secretary or do I wait until I see my surgeon on 12th?  I tried the treatment line for the hospital I had chemo and they had never heard of chemo irritating  the stomach which I am very surprised about. I suppose it depends who you get through to. 
I am trying not to get absorbed by these feelings but it is hard at the present. This forum is a godsend. Everyone here is so helpful and supportive and also actually understand and know how I’m feeling. 
Thanks for your advice xx

[gardengirl200]

@Michelle21 

I’ve not been on here for a couple of days but I am so sorry to hear you are feeling down. You have been through so much and you have been so strong that it is completely natural to take a dip. No one can stay positive all the time. Also, you have had a general anaesthetic for your mastectomy and that tends to have direct impact on mood, quite apart from everything else you are going / have gone through. I remember bawling for a day 5 days after my op.  Put yourself first over this next wee while. Do what you can to minimise stress. People will completely understand if you don’t make the funeral.  

I do understand your worries though. I have had these ongoing throat and burping ! issues. I got fed up of worrying about them and have been referred for an endoscopy next week. I couldn’t get it until radio finished as I need to self isolate. Flipping Covid. I also have a swollen lymph node on my cancer side and insisted on seeing a breast consultant last week. He thinks nothing but has referred me to neck expert. I think we need to bang on the door of the NHS with the worries we have. We need to ask for help over these things. The doctors should be there to help us. This is a mental struggle as well as physical and they need to understand that. 
I still hold on to what my consultant said - basically cancer doesn’t spread during chemo. I think, where you snd I have both finished chemo relatively recently, that means highly highly unlikely that the cancer has spread. But just makes sense to get checked. 

sending you a big hug xx