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MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Michelle21
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200  I have also spent a lot of time wondering if my diet that can decide whether I get BC again. Like you all before BC I didn’t eat much meat, run regularly,  didn’t drink or smoke and try to get my 5 a day. One admission I will make is that I have a sweet tooth. It’s not unknown for me to eat a giant bar of dairy milk to myself in an evening😳. After treatment first time around I went into overdrive on the chocolate, I think to treat myself after the awful ordeal I had been through! When diagnosed this time our whole household turned vegan, my girls wanted to try it anyway, my husband is fussy with meat and like @amy46  it gave me an element of control when everything else in my life was/is out of my control. Going vegan made me cut right down on my sweet treats too. I have reintroduced some foods ie fish and cheese, particularly if we eat out as the vegan menu can be limited to one option which is pretty boring. I tend to cook plant based meals at home 90% of the time. I have noticed that as I have become less vegan I am eating more sugar. I haven’t read about the links between sugar and cancer but I intend to try and keep my sugar level lower than before. I feel it’s all I can really do. 

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200  Just replying to your post on healthy eating. I would say I had a pretty healthy normal diet previously- hardly any red meat, some chicken and fish, usual dairy plenty of fruit and vegetables. I’m slim I run I don’t smoke and I didn’t drink huge amounts of alcohol although I dye like a small glass of wine mist evenings. 
Since diagnosis I have changed some things but mostly to regain a sense of control. I eat a lot more plant based food and have switched to non dairy milk  although I still have eggs at least once a week and occasionally chicken. I still eat salmon once a week too. I cut out alcohol completely but mostly because I couldn’t stand the thought of it initially. I also stopped eating chocolate cakes sweets etc. although now if it’s something I particularly want I have it and don’t feel guilty. I am quite interested in the relationship between sugar and cancer. I think cancer cells have more insulin receptors so

it makes sense there is a relationship I just don’t know how important it is. I think if im

totally honest it probably doesn’t matter as long as the diet is mainly healthy but for me it’s all about control in a situation where things are happening to me that I have no say in really at all. 
xxx

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok  I miss so happy for you that you have finished your chemo. Sounds like you need some rest abd lots of self care to rejuvenate your body. Maybe you could book a massage or a lovely facial? You do deserve some nice treats now.

I have been down another black hole this week but gave emerged again now thank goodness. I totally ran out of positive vibes at this half way point in my chemo. I had to fill in lots of forms for income protection and stuff to do with work plus we were coming to devon for a few days but I had to arrange a blood test here as Carboplatin coming this Thursday. Everything seemed so difficult and I just didn’t want to do it. All the questions just rammed home where I am - a place entirely not of my choosing. The icing on the cake was the question about what my aspirations are for the future - I nearly write WTF - ask anyone on chemo what they’re aspirations are and they will tell you get through this horrendous treatment and still be here with my family and friends in five years time. I ended up leaving it blank…

But not I’m in devon and I realised however hard it seems I need to try and enjoy these special times with my family. I keep trying to come back to the idea of primary and secondary suffering- the primary is that I have cancer and I’m having treatment for it but the secondary is all the anguish I feel relating to what might happen in the future. My mindfulness coach says ‘thoughts are not facts and 80% of our thoughts are not really based on anything factual at all’ I find this helpful to remind myself.

@Love running  I am thinking of you in the sunshine. Yesterday I was running down here in north devon a run I often do looking out to woolacombe beach with my husband. It’s quite hilly and it felt hard, I was slow but I did it. I says to my husband I need a t shirt saying my ten weeks into chemo but he says why not just take your hat off so I did! Not for long though as it was too chilly but felt quite liberating!

 

Can I ask if any of you ladies had an injection to ensure you were menopausal before getting zometa? The bisphosphonate bone strengthener? 

love to you all xxx

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Love running ….. good morning yes last chemo done 😁I can’t quite believe it yet but omg what a journey that was …… glad you are having a lovely time and got rid of those sweats ! Bet you feel like a new woman ….I have a meeting with my surgeon on the 24th so I guess she will go through it with me then , time for a rest for me and try and get my body back ,lost about 6 1b over the last 2 weeks could do with a week in a spa 😁…..enjoy your last couple of days it was so dark here this morning quite depressing .

love to all you ladies xxx

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok 

Just checking in! 
You must have now reached your last chemo yesterday. I hope your last one will treat gentler than the one before. But you did it! You are at the end.

Regarding the second part of the treatment, I will get that too: 

- 23 radiotherapy sessions,

- anti hormonal treatment monthly (then every 3 months) for 5 years

- anti osteoporosis (bone enhancer) every 6 months for 5 years

- tamoxifen daily for 10 years 

not specially looking forward to it… as now in my break between treatment, I have had two weeks without night sweatings. My god it is so nice… I managed to have full night sleep and I finally feel almost rested. I am fully enjoying it while it lasts.

Another two days in the south of France before going back to the permafrost. Would love to stay here longer but starting radiotherapy on 1 November😩😩😩😩

send you sunshine for your last post chemo week

 

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Sammy73 Hi no letter she said it would be discussed when I meet my surgeon, I will ask today when having chemo…..got to be something to do with hormones I guess , it just surprised me as it had not been mentioned other than radiotherapy.

hope you ladies have a good Monday xx

Sammy73
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok 

Oh ok not a clue, unless you are just having hormone injection?? That's every 4 weeks for me now and a bone enhance injection every 6 months. 

So maybe you are doing something completely different?? Have you had a formal letter from oncologist?? This normally highlights what the treatment is as a whole. 

Good luck xx

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok Good luck tomorrow. Last chemo. Big day. 
I don’t know what the ongoing treatment is. Might it just be more ongoing herceptin injections 🤔 Xx 

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Sammy 73 thank you feeling a lot better managed to eat some porridge after my steroids, there is always one gets stuck in my throat 😳… my husband got me some compote drinks with all the vitamins in so managed to get something in . 
when I spoke to the oncology on fri she said something I did not understand , she said after your opp you will start the 2nd part of my treatment which includes going to the chemo department every 3 weeks to have something put in , she said it’s not chemo and won’t make you feel ill 🤷‍♂️ Has anyone heard of this I said I didn’t know anything about that and she said it would be explained at my pre opp meeting , I thought I would be finished going there .

have a lovely Sunday ladies xx

Sammy73
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok  sorry that your not able to eat much, try and keep strong!! Have you tried smoothies? Milkshakes? Just a thought. Glad bloods are good for tomorrow.

 

I often look at other people around me, over weight maybe, smokers, junk food eaters daily and go huh??? Why me!! I think life is what it is!! We are put on this earth and we do what we do and deal with what what we need to.

Started radiotherapy last Wednesday and it's OK if I don't really think about it, as soon as I do I get this horrid overwhelming feeling that I have to push away!!  Again I go with it, deal with it daily, work around it. Coz that's what we do ladies.  Hope your weekend is good all. Xx

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok 

You are stronger than you think. You can do it. Keep your eyes on the price, the end of all this. You are so close now.  I know you will find the strength. In this group, we are all unbelievably strong. We have our doubts but we are going forward. 

Great that your blood values are good. I cross my fingers that the weekend and the new meds help you to get some food in you until Monday. 

Send lots of hugs and cheers for this last stretch.

 

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Gardengirl200 I often wonder about that myself as I went through a very stressful time caused by my daughter and at that time I know I was drinking far to much and stress and drinking are two on the list of maybe causes , but I know lots of people who get through a bottle of wine most evenings and smoke etc etc , but I am sure there are people out there who don’t drink and eat healthy but still get this horrid disease 😢.

Spoke to oncology on fri she said my bloods are good for my last chemo mon , don’t know where I am going to get my strength from as I haven’t eaten anything, told her I had been sick since Monday and she prescribed anti acids as she said steroids can cause irritation in the stomach , luckely they have kicked in but I still can’t eat much so the thought of taking 8 tomorrow fills me with dread ….. lost about 5lbs and my skin on hands looks like a 90 year old 😱.

hope all you strong ladies have a good weekend xx

 

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Michelle21 

I am so happy and impressed to read that you feel empowered by your operation and you embraced your new flat chest. This is a sign of incredible strength and it is so inspiring. I will think about you when I will try to embrace my naked head. I have been bathing with my cap on but dream about diving under water, feeling the sea on my head. I will give it a try not caring about anyone around. Thank you for giving the courage.

I hope I can give back to you some of this strength when you are feeling vulnerable. 

 

My trip here is definitely giving me time to take care of myself physically and mentally. I am so glad I did it. I feel energized and less scared about life. 

I also met lot of incredibly nice people here (not my nasty neighbor but he is not talking to Kev anymore after I yelled at him. Thanks god for that. I am glad I let myself free). People that have shown discretion regarding my look but also compassion and warmth when I opened to them. 

Now it is time for me to have a nice walk on the beach and find a spot to drop my towel for another day on my path to recovery. 

love,

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200 

I am not an unhealthy eater but not a super healthy one either. I love food and I can’t cut any particular type of food from my diet. I love sugar, dairy, meat… Right now I am in France and I can’t imagine my breakfast without fresh baguette, butter and jam or a pain au chocolat. I finish my meals with cheese. I just try to have a varied diet with greens at each meal and drink lots of water (lucky me, I don’t like fizzy drinks, never had 😅).
I too have cut my alcohol I take for now but will have my occasional glass of wine and champagne (and long drinks) when all is over. 

After everything I went through, I can’t put one more pressure on myself.  Can’t be on a strict diet for the rest of my life. Life is more than austerity. 
I need to enjoy life and I find pleasure in eating nice food. Don’t be too hard on yourself for a pack of biscuits or the occasional sugar or dairy intake. 

I believe everything is about moderation and exercise. This is how I will move forward. 

Although I run and exercise, I am short and on the rounder side. Never been skinny, I wished I would. But I gave up… because I will never be. My family is short and sturdy. 

have a wonderful day (mine started with sunshine - I feel blessed)

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Hi all, 

I’m really struggling to eat healthily and lose weight. Even though I know I should. It’s sugar. I just can’t help it. I’ve consumed at least half a packet of biscuits today! Does anyone think there is a connection between eating sugar and BC, or ( barring smoking and excess alcohol)is BC just pretty much bad luck. How is everyone else tackling their diet? Is it just the usual everything in moderation approach??  Since diagnosis, I’ve managed to significantly reduce (have not totally cut out) alcohol, caffeine, red meat, cow’s milk ( my cancer is ER pos, although I still have dairy yogurt and cheese). And I’m not a big eater of ready meals/ processed food so I think I’m ok on that front. But I do like a bar of chocolate. Pretty much every day. Is this foolish? Thoughts please! 

Michelle21
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

I am pleased you made it back from IKEA  @Love running  and I hope you have given yourself a tasty reward for lunch! All that talk of food earlier had me drooling! 
I feel like you in a juxtaposition. I am now so much more vulnerable than ever before and yet also stronger. I do not see myself as a vulnerable person so it is strange to feel like this and doesn’t sit well with me as I don’t feel like me. I do remember a feeling of vulnerability last time and thankfully I did shake it and become me again, only to be struck with this again. However I think I can get back to being me again. Today I had a glimmer of that when I was trying my winter wardrobe on and admiring how much better some of my clothes look with a flat chest. I feel empowered by my surgery, an operation I chose to have. I will wear my new look with confidence. 
You are someone who knows how to look after yourself not just physically but mentally too. Taking this trip away on your own is testament to that. You know there will be hard times and your confidence has had a massive dent but you also realise that to build yourself back you have to do those things. You are  claiming back your identity again after cancer has tried to take it. 
Your swim in the sea sounds magical. I may have said this before but after last time we had a trip to San Sebastián and I will never forget swimming in the sea there.  It was September, although the sun was out the sea was freezing and I have never felt so alive. Xx

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Michelle21 

I survived the trip to IKEA and the roundabouts (more than in my recollection- French seems to love them and they love them big).

But I never died of a heart attack every 5 min and broke a sweat. But I did it!!!!

I rewarded myself with a nice lunch on a terrace and Now I will go for a nice walk. Enough action for one day. 

 

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@amy46 

You took the words out of my mouth… this is exactly what I say and feel too. 

I say something along the lines of  ‘yes, pretty good, been really lucky with the side effects so far, even been able to keep up with the running’ all of which is kind of true but i miss out the bits where I wake up at night in a blind terror that I might not be around to see my kids grow up, or that I still find it a shock sometimes when I see my bald head in the mirror etc’ 

i don’t know if I protect myself or them - I really don’t want the moments of  awkwardness. My relation to others has changed, my self confidence too. I am more self conscious.

on Instagram I am under course_pour_la_vie. I have not posted much yet and have not told my full story yet. I just timidly post some of my running. 

At the moment, I try to go with the flow and see where it takes me. 

 

 

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Love running …. You do brighten my day 😁….sounds beautiful where you live . I will dream of tasting that lovely food in a few weeks hopefully…… enjoy your time away xx

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Michelle21 

I know exactly what you mean with being afraid to be alone. I guess this is why I did my trip. I needed to find out if I can be on my own, without doctors, treatment, my family, my friends and be alright. 

I need to find back my strengths to face the world, going back to work. I also need to decide how I will do it and how I want it.


I guess BC although made me stronger it also broke something in me. It is somehow contradictory but I was quite self confident before and now I am more anxious and doubting. On the same time, I feel that after I went through chemo, I am bad a… and strong. 

You should have seen me at the car rental, a nervous wreck. I asked the guy to come with me to the car to check it with me before I left. But then I left with my fiat 500 and drove the 150 km from Nice to our flat with a newly recovered strengths. But today I need to go to ikea to buy things for the flat and I need to date the south of France nuts traffic… could not sleep last night, had nightmares about the gigantic roundabout i know i need to take. All the small French cars with the angry drivers and me in my little fiat 500. Will let you know if I managed or if I just froze in the middle and created a gigantic jam and a concert of klaxons😰

On a positive note, yesterday I run to get my fresh baguette and then I bathed in the Mediterranean Sea. After bathing I met an older lady (85) who chatted with me, she saw my bald head and she came to tell me that she knew because she had gone through the same 30 years ago and she thought I had such beautiful eyes. It was so spontaneous from her. It made my day… it was good because I met my nasty misogynistic neighbor on my first day. Guess what ? I actually told him off, I think I yelled at him a bit. No filters anymore. 

Have a lovely day - time to go for my morning bath before breakfast

 

 

 

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200 

I can picture you (or me) binging on the Brie and it makes me smile. Cheeses are a gift of gods. They are also the reason I have bad cholesterol 😬🙄
When it comes to food, I am like a child in a toy store at the moment… I want to eat everything and I have to remind myself that it is not possible all at once. I had missed tasting food so much the last couple of months. First with EC I could not eat because everything tasted metallic and then with paclitaxel I ate whatever to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth. But now my taste buds are regenerated and naive and they are giving such pleasure.

You should see me between my mirabelle pie, plum pie (both Alsatian specialities) and chocolate, coffee flavor éclairs or torche aux marrons (chestnut creamy dessert)… why choose😋… I will need to increase my running otherwise I will roll rather than run😂

I have been so fortunate because so far both my trips to Alsace and now in La Londe (close to Hyère and Toulon and not too far from St Tropez) are blessed with sunshine and mild temperature. I even bathed yesterday… life can not be better for the present moment.

send you some sunshine and I will think of you later today when I am eating my ‘têtes de moines’ - if you have not tried, do it. It is a Swiss cheese though but it is so fun to cut it… 

 

 

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200  @Michelle21 

I even heard that there is some British bubbly worth trying. When I come to the Uk next year, I will make a point to try some British wines and bubbly.

Sweden too has vineyard - climate change has something to do with it. They are not yet world standard but it might come with experience. There is also a bubbly made out of Birch trees - very special taste but innovative. 

No more missed opportunity in my life. Life is too short to not dare and try out new flavors and new experiences (even for a French🤪)

 

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok 

I am so sorry to hear that the last stretch of chemo is getting down on you so hard. Like @amy46 said be kind to yourself, to collect all your strength to face this last one. You are stronger than you think and keep the eyes to the price: ‘The end of this part of the journey.’ Remember we are here to cheer you on the finish line.

It is getting better after that. At least it slowly does to me. Now 3 weeks after my last one, I still feel the backlog of fatigue hitting me in waves. But overall I feel my body reconstructing itself. Now I have to reconstruct the mind.

lots of love, healing vibes and positive energy (cross my fingers that your blood values are good and there are no delays)

 

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Amy 46 …. You are right it doesn’t work, just lying on the bed after my 3 mouthfuls of dinner feeling sick again 😞….. bloods tomorrow , I really don’t want to get delayed with treatment , I suppose it could of been much worse if I had been like it all the way 😳xx

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok  No point in trying to kick yourself up the back side. I have tried this and it just doesn’t work. Be kind to yourself, the reason you feel fed up and miserable is because you’re having a horrible time. Hang tight, things will get better, this time will pass and the sun will shine for you again xxxx

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok I’m so sorry you are having such a tough time. It really is a pile of shit to Wade through that’s for sure. I’m trying to think of practical things that might help - have you tried acupuncture at all? Very good for nausea. It’s possibly like pissing in the wind after all the drugs you are probably taking but it might help

you never know. 
Keep going - only one more to go, you can do it xxx

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Love running  I was so happy to read your post and hear that things had gone as well as you could hope back in France with your sister and mum. It was interesting what you said about ‘packaging it up’ as I think we maybe all do that to some degree. I know myself when people ask how I’m doing I say I say something along the lines of  ‘yes, pretty good, been really lucky with the side effects so far, even been able to keep up with the running’ all of which is kind of true but i miss out the bits where I wake up at night in a blind terror that I might not be around to see my kids grow up, or that I still find it a shock sometimes when I see my bald head in the mirror etc

The runs in your home town sound beautiful. I have never done the great north run and actually only ever done one half marathon. I’m more of a tootle round 5km girl but maybe I should give it a shot.

Will we be able to follow you on Instagram?? Xxx

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Gardengirl200…mine was Hr2 positive plus nodes I had 4 chemo and my last 4 are target drugs docetaxel and 2 others I have my opp on the 2nd of dec but there has been no mention yet of anything after that 🤷‍♂️….. thanks for your encouragement I have tried kicking myself up the backside 😄x

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Michelle21 I’m sure you must be making this up about the vineyards! 🤣🤣🤔

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Purpledaze Oh no about your wrist 😱😱. Hope not too sore. Think you are at similar stage to me. I have fuzzy head regrowth too,  but sadly it’s greyer than I expected! No eyelashes yet, and my eyebrows seem to still be on the way out! It’s those I miss the most. Hope your husband keeps well. Xx 

Michelle21
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200 I have just googled and there are 30 vineyards in Wales, who knew?! Although you never see welsh wine in the shops! Sounds like you had a nice lunch with friends and Brie 😋

@TicTok sorry you’ve not been feeling so good. I found my last 3 week cycle very tough and felt I just limped through. Like you say body screaming it’s had enough. You are so close to the end and once it is done you will start to feel so much better again xx

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Sammy73 That sounds like similar radiology regime to me. 3 weeks ( 15 treatments) with 4 angles each time to cover breast and lymph nodes. I too found it fine - totally painless and really only on the treatment bed for about 10 mins. Deep breathing is not too tricky in practice. I bought Aveeno moisturiser and body wash and skin ok until the very end. I finished a week past Friday and a slight rash developed after the last treatment but not bad. The most annoying thing ( and it’s not a big deal) is that the nurses ‘marked me up’ with blue marker pen each time which they do not take off each time, so it got all over my 2 new bras and prosthesis and it doesn’t wash out! As I say, not a big deal but just another  visual reminder about what we’ve gone through. Nurses lovely though. 

good luck with it. Xx 

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Love running glad your trip to see you mum and sister went well, and glad you are getting the space you need to ‘regroup’ mentally. I’m more than slightly envious that you come from Alsace ( so beautiful) and that you have a holiday apt in the South of France. The scenery and weather in themselves must be a tonic for the spirits. Quite apart from the French food. But what a temptation that must be. Agh! That is a guilt ridden Agh as I have just had friends for lunch, and after they left I kept on eating the Brie and honestly I have eaten 3/4s of it myself. Ridiculous. 
@Michelle21 well I never knew they had vineyards in Wales. ☺️ Perhaps we should scrap the running plans and do wine tasting instead! 

gardengirl200
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@TicTok  So sorry you are feeling rough. I wish I could remember everyone’s different types of cancer and regimes. I know Michelle and Amy are TN but what are you ‘diagnosis wise’ ?  How many chemos have you had and what drugs? I was 3 EC and 3 docitaxel. Docitaxel tough.  It definitely gets tougher at the end but maybe that is good. It is zapping what it needs to zap. It’s the blooming mountain analogy again, but only one left for you!!! Keep strong. You are nearly ‘home’. Are you getting rads afterwards? 
fleur x 

TicTok
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Hi all you ladies not been in touch much lately but glad to here there is a lot if positive vibes ! That makes me happy . ….Love running glad to here you had a great time with your family and enjoy your time away .

Been in a very dark hole my last chemo really done me in 😱two weeks later and I still can’t eat much and feel sick at times , has anyone had a very strong pulse banging away most often at night in the stomach or lower back ? It drives me mad 😏…. Can’t see my bloods being good on Thursday as I haven’t managed to eat much at all ……one to go but I am dreading it after this time , my body is screaming I can’t take anymore 🥲.

love to you all xxx

Michelle21
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Love running I’m so pleased to hear all went well with your family and that you were able to enjoy yourself and meet up with friends. Although it was the right thing for you to keep you family protected I’m sure it is now a relief that you have told them. Running through the vineyard sounds beautiful, I love this time of year with the changing colours of the trees. 
I am in admiration of you going away for a week on your own. I really struggle to be on my own at the moment. I usually meet friends for a walk on the morning and my husband comes in for lunch. He works in an office in the garden so he is never usually far away. Today is one of the rare days he is not around, he is actually at a meeting in a local vineyard, although we are in wet Wales and renowned for our wine production!!  So I am working hard to keep myself busy and distracted so that I don’t go down the black hole. 
The Great North Run is fantastic and holds a special place in my heart as it was the first ever half marathon I did back in 2002. The atmosphere is brilliant, it is the largest half marathon in the UK, Cardiff is the second. Yes 2022 will be our year I would love to do Gt North Run again, I will look into it. 
I hope you are able to reflect and acknowledge what you have been through and come back even stronger. Also hope you don’t bump into your sexist, annoying neighbour! 

Michelle x

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Ps: the cap was bought here:

https://shop.ungcancer.se/clothes/cap

 

Love running
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Good morning beautiful strong ladies,

I missed you so much. I see that some of you have been going through a roller coaster of emotion and anxiety. but it seems that you managed to go through it and help each other. This is why I missed you so much. You are unbelievable. I love you ❤️ 

I too, struggle to keep the positive attitude all the time and fight the anxiety of the future. Now in a different way (may be a bit more rational and controlled way) than when I was coming down from the steroids. @amy46 I have a redraw effect each time 2-3 days after I stopped the steroids. The first two times I went to very dark places, then I knew it and could control it better.

 

I am at the airport again going back to France but this time, for a holiday on my own and in the south of France (checking our flat). I feel nervous and excited because it is the first time I will be alone since February… I needed a break to reflect on the last couple of weeks and how do I go forward from here. I have not let myself to think too much.

I have told my mum and sis and it went better than expected. From their reaction, I know I did the best decision not to tell until the end of chemo. They were upset at first but on the same time, relieved to see me being fine. I have to admit that you can’t change who you are and I have always protected them and I continued. I packaged the diagnosis, the chemo and the disease for them to feel comfortable with it. So we actually spend good times together going to restaurants and meeting friends instead of being sad and worried.

My mum even surprised me by waiting until I was gone to tell the entire county sparing me the small talks with everyone in my village about Cancer. Most of them did not recognized me with my cap on😀. So I enjoyed the anonymity and the unwanted advice and story sharing… if you see what I mean.

On the top of all the weather was nice and sunny and of course the food was great which did not help my figure… but now that my taste has come back, I am enjoying every bites. I enjoyed coffee again, I had missed it so much. Still no alcohol… I want to wait until the end of radiotherapy. Actually I don’t miss it as much as I thought.

I even did few runs but somehow I have been hit by a backlog of fatigue and I can’t run much. My whole body feels heavy so I did few short ones. I come from Alsace and this time of the year it is beautiful. It is full harvest time, with people picking grapes and the leaves turning yellow and orange. Running in the vineyard was lovely. More like a sightseeing  tour than exercising.

I came back for a week to Stockholm and I have been overwhelmed by my kids attention. They had missed me so much and were all over me. I had to compensate and ended not having a minute for myself. Happy busy though. Of course, me going away again did not land well with the kids this morning and they were quite sad. I can understand them but I really needed to catch up with my emotions and anxiety and deal with them. I will be a better mom when I am back.

and when I come back it will be the fall holidays and we will have a girls only week. My husband is also going away for a week. He also needs it too to deal with what happened to us the last couple of months. He is pretty introvert with his feelings (he is Swedish after all) and I think my diagnosis shook him badly. I know he was scared and might still be. So I will be with my girls alone for a week, they will take care of me since I start radiotherapy that week and I will take care of them. I think it will be the occasion to check out how they feel about the whole Bc thing.

Otherwise, now that my family knows, I somehow came out to all my friends on Facebook. The response is a bit overwhelming… lots of messages, I need to answer.

I will also now give the permission for using my interview on social media (was waiting for my family to know) and I started an Instagram account to share my experience of running through chemo. I am not that good at it and start slowly… 

I am not used to be the center of attention this way and I will see if I can cope with it or if I will go back to anonymity.

@amy46 keep fighting, you are halfway and moving forward everyday, getting closer to the end. We will be there to cheer you.

@Purpledaze all my thoughts to you and your husband - you will get through this.

@Michelle21you are the strongest person I know. Although the doubts, you keep going forward head high with an unbeliever strength. I dream about this run we will have together. 2022 will be our year! I have a friend in Newcastle that would like me to do the great north run in September… 

@gardengirl200 i am glad you could do the tests you needed to be reinsured and that you were met by understanding medical teams. I hope you will find some peace of mind.

@tiktok how are you doing?

Boarding now. Love you ladies. It is good to back with you.

 

Sammy73
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Thank you soo much @Purpledaze

I'm having 3 weeks!! 

Left breast neck and left lymph nodes. 

Was hoping its quite minimal and you've confirmed that. Thank you. 😊 

Purpledaze
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Sammy73 great to hear you're feeling stronger and ready for RT. I had 5 sessions and compared to chemo found it like a walk in the park. I had RT to my left breast only (not to lymph nodes). As this covers heart, I did deep breath holding. They will tell you if you need to do this. I found it easy to hold my breath, but if it is difficult / not possible there are other things they can do to make sure the heart is not affected by RT rays. And this is only if having RT to left breast. There's a website https://www.respire.org.uk/ where you can find more info about the deep breath hold for left breast RT

The actual RT was quick & painless. I experienced some tenderness in my left breast & twinges to the surgical scar from day 1 of RT and still have a bit of soreness. The radiotherapist said this was to be expected as RT "undoes" some of the healing process from surgery. 

My skin also went a bit pink and was quite itchy - this is getting better now - and the whole breast felt hot and a bit swollen for the first 2 days after the first session, but then this went away. The radiotherapist said effects of RT continue up to 2 weeks after. I feel things are definitely better now and nothing was too awful or affected daily living. I used unscented moisturiser twice a day on the RT breast and this really helped.

Good luck with your RT. How many sessions are you having? Xx

Purpledaze
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@amy46 oh I like that idea of INASAISBC - it might be a mouthful of an acronym but I'll take that 😂

Shi
Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Amy ❤️ We are all guilty of dr Google, do don’t be hard on yourself ❤️ Remember you do whatever is right for you each step of the way that’s all that matters as there are no rights or wrongs everything has to be your choice and what’s right for you ❤️ But Patricia’s book really helped me ❤️💕💕Shi xx

Michelle21
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Wise words @gardengirl200  ‘deal with the facts’. We all have fears of our own cancers returning or showing up elsewhere but we must learn to deal with what has actually happened and not waste precious time worrying about something that may never happen. It is hard though!

@Purpledaze good news that your husband has started his treatment, I hope it all runs smoothly for him. Sorry to hear about your wrist, I hope it heals soon and you make the most of the time to recover. 
@amy46 glad you are feeling a little better. 
@Sammy73 I hope your radiotherapy runs smoothly for you. 
@Love running I hope you are enjoying your time with your family and have managed a few French runs! I take my cap off to you and anyone running through chemo, I ran 5k yesterday my first since surgery and it was sooo much easier than the runs straight after chemo. Looking forward to hearing your news. X

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Sammy73  Good luck with your radiotherapy on Wednesday. And thank you, it helps knowing that this midway point has been tricky for you guys too and gives me hope that I’ll come out if it.

 

I can’t find the way to tag Barbara but I’m also thinking of you a lot and wondering how things are going in France with your mum and sister. Sending love xx

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Purpledaze  I know, they really need to rename TNBC maybe INASAISBC - bit of a mouthful It’s Not As Shit As It Sounds Breast Cancer. Needs work, I’ll have a think about it 😂

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Shi  Thank you. I know you are right. I’m going to have a look at the book you recommended thank you xx

amy46
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@gardengirl200  thank you. Your reply made me feel a lot better. I think you are right, I’ve got no idea what’s going on in my body with all the emotion, anxiety, chemo and possibly the start of menopause too. It just feels like I’ve still got a mountain to climb and then the real race will start which is where I am meant to start living again. This is the bit that fills me with terror. I know no one can tell me it’s going to be ok but it’s the one thing I long for. 
dealing with what you know is fact os the best thing but so so difficult to achieve. 
I am so grateful for this forum, it helps me so much to have you amazing ladies to turn to. Xxx

Sammy73
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@Purpledaze 

Can I ask how radiotherapy went I start on wednesday and I'm not too worried but would be nice to have a clue lol!!

Why do all these out of the blue things seem to happen to us hey!! Hope the wrist heals quickly. Xx

.@amy46 I found halfway through the hardest time too. It's like your in limbo!! You will get there!! It seem like forever but it just happens. Good luck. 

@Love running how are you and things with your family, I do hope they understood and you all are a peace with each other. X

 

I'm 18 days clear from last chemo, I feel good and strong get radiotherapy out the way then onward and upward!! I start my hormone tabs on Thursday so that should be fun. 

I'm already hot sweating on and off!! Tummy cramps all the fun of being a female hey!!

Have a great week all xx

Purpledaze
Member

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

@amy46 i found mid-chemo hard, like my positive energy ran dry and all the lurking anxiety leapt out at me. I think there is something about being neither at the start nor near the end of treatment that can punch low.  I also have TNBC and just the name scares me! But Shi is right, definitely stay clear of Dr Google - definitely not a doctor who cares! Big hugs and extra strength to you.

@Michelle21 so glad your appt was positive and that you have been able to enjoy getting out to the theatre and spending time with good friends. Pub lunch? The best!

@gardengirl200 how lovely to hear that you have been listened to, and even better to hear that the various scans and tests have been able to set your worries to rest.  I think you're right about stress, how it builds up and undermines our strength without us even realising.  I tend to see myself as very pragmatic and just getting on with things, but then found myself weeping here, there and everywhere! My motto is steadily becoming "better out than in" and I'm trying to stop apologising when the tears do flow! 

.@TikTok how are you? I hope things are going well for you with your treatment and you've been able to enjoy days in between without too many side effects

.@Love running how did it go with your mother and sister? I hope they understood and that you were able to enjoy your time with them.  When do you start your radiotherapy?

I am now nearly 2 weeks since end of radiotherapy, and almost 6 weeks since end of chemo. i'm just starting to get some fuzzy regrowth of hair on my head and a slight 'insinuation' of eyelashes and eyebrows.  I still feel very tired, but definitely have more appetite & finally am sleeping better.  My husband is at long last out of hospital. He's started his treatment which is a relief for us both, even if my heart sinks that we are back in 'chemo land' again.  Stupidly, I managed to break my wrist the day before my husband was discharged, so that has complicated things for us both!!  On the plus side it has forced me to rest and not rush my post-treatment recovery.

Hope all you amazing ladies are doing well and blasting through the side effects xx

Shi
Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: MAY 2021 CHEMOTHERAPY STARTERS

Amy ❤️ Now be kind to yourself ❤️If you have the urge to Google then Google MD Anderson in Texas there are new things happening for TNBC and also Google cancer research and see if you can get on a trial ❤️ Patricia Prijatel’s book surviving triple negative breast cancer (she’s a 2 x tnbc survivor) helped me a lot as did Robin Roberts and Joan Lundens tnbc journeys ❤️ Google can send us all into orbit, so don’t be hard on yourself ❤️ Sending some 💕💕Shi xx