May 2017 chemo starters

[katie11]

Glad your feeling OK MJK

Yeah I like the 90 / 10 % rule too! Think I can follow that!

The song is the ariana grande one last time but the Manchester mix, gets me every time. I've even cried at this morning today! 2 kids were getting special recognition for being young carers to their mum! Think I'll write today off! Lol x

[WolfEE]

All done and back home. Went ok and so far I feel alright.
They gave me my appointment today for my follow up scan to check if the chemo is working (due to the new lump appearing since starting treatment) it's next Tuesday. I'm glad because I thought I was having 2 wait until 28th but that turned out to be my normal oncologist appointment.
I think it's just an ultra sound I'll be having.
Fingers crossed this second session will kick start something good happening.
Xx

[Mai7]

MJK, I like your rule! .........and here's a hug for yesterday {U}

Treehouse, I like your style!

lets aim to be 90% conformists and 10% rebels and not feel guilty about it! It's so easy to live in fear of not doing everything right at the moment. 

[treehouse]

Which song Katie?

[MJK]

Inspiring quote from Learning Mind 'Give yourself credit for the days you made it when you thought you wouldn't.'

[MJK]

Katie hope you're doing ok. We all have marshmallow days. Yesterday wasn't great for me.
WolfEE I hope today went well and you're not feeling too rough. Hugs.
Treehouse, I have a rule which goes something like if I follow the rules 90% of the time then I can do what I want 10% of the time. Enjoy the McDonald's, movie and especially cheesecake. 🧀🍰

[katie11]

Blinking Heck . The song that got me this morning has just done it to me again!

Love that quote mai7. I read one not so long ago I quite liked, "this is just a chapter not the whole story."

We all need days like that treehouse sounds fab!

Hope treatments have gone ok today ladies xx

[treehouse]

Love that Mai thanks 😁
Naughty cancer patient took small boy to MacDonalds 🍔 then had cheesecake 🍰 at my mums. Then watched a movie 🎬 snuggled up on my bed.
Such a rule breaker today.

[Mai7]

Treehouse, I just found this quote which you might like: "Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won't have a title until much later" 

[Mai7]

Hope this morning went well WolfEE and you managed to sit still for an hour after drinking all that water! 😆

Don't anyone lose sight of your dreams no matter what. I get caught up in thoughts between short term treats and long term goals and whether to just live for the day or plan ahead, it gets very confusing. I try and simplify it by having the big dreams as my "happy thought bubble" which I will plan for later on and little dreams which are really about enjoying each day as well as having plans for each week ahead and each month ahead. That could be a treat for the house (like a new carpet or cushions or a cooking gadget) which you get to enjoy a lot now as you're in it so much! Nice food and pampering treats are also good. If it's just a trip out in the countryside then you only have to plan around the weather but not finances.  I think it's important that you allow yourself to dare to dream as this is good for your mental wellbeing.  

Now Im thinking of the song:  Duffy  "Distant Dreamer"..........

Katie, hope you're soon feeling a bit less squishy but it's ok to feel squishy sometimes.

Trisha, glad you and bestie made up and saw the funny side of things.

[treehouse]

Big hug Katie. I know that feeling. It will pass. Let it out to stop it building up. X

[katie11]

Ha yeah!

Think I'might having a marshmallow day today ! The littlest stupid things keep setting me off! Lol! X

[treehouse]

Thanks for the reassurance ladies. Hubby insists we will grow old together but we both decided the dream holiday should include the kids too and Disney world etc was top of the list 😁. Might see you there

[katie11]

Good luck today wolfEE. I've got bloods today ready for round 3 on Wednesday ! Last EC.

Fantastic story rosie x

Treehouse I know exactly how you feel. I've always wanted to take my boys to Disney and now want to do it sooner rather than later x

Glad you have spoken to your friend Trisha. X

I've got my look good course booked for next Monday. Just hope I'm ok enough after round 3 to attend .

Have a good day ladies x

[WolfEE]

Treehouse, I had a similar thought the other day when I was thinking about my mobile phone upgrade it isn't for a few months yet but I was feeling a bit nervous about a 2 year contract the horrible thought entered my head!!
It's so scary but I've heard that the fear and thoughts do get easier to manage.
Gosh a horrible discussion but one I'm sure we all feel and think about even if we don't say aloud.
Thank god we all have each other we are not alone xx

[treehouse]

Great news Trisha😊 . Good luck to all with appointments and treatment today. Annie enjoy your look good session, I want to hear all about it. I have a bonus mummy day to enjoy......if I can drag him away from the x box. Thanks for all the positive stories ladies.

I was talking about holiday planning with my husband yesterday and and we talked about a dream trip for when I was well. We then decided that we couldn't do it until the kids had left home and worked out how long that would be (at least another 8 years) and I said I hope I am still here. I realised my own future plans had suddenly reduced to a 5 year plan. I wasn't being negative just need to focus on the short term getting through treatment and everything else looks a bit foggy beyond there.
Does anyone else feel like this?

[WolfEE]

Rosie65 - much love to your amazing sister. Lots of hope for us xxx

[WolfEE]

Anniej, the look good feel better and the makeup sounds wonderful. I'll pop in2 the Macmillan centre today and ask about it seeing as I'm at the hospital today anyway. Exciting hope they have one in my area.

Round 2 today, 10:30am - I'm sitting in my towel trying to drink a tonne of water before I go!!

[Rosie65]

Oh Trisha so pleased for you. One thing you find out from all this is who your true friends are!!

When I was low the other week I watched Peter Kay's car share on a loop and that did the trick too.

[Trisha69]

Your weekend sounds lovely!!  Yes my friend came back, with supper and loads of hugs and positivity, we watched tv and lauged my socks off 🙂 xxx  BBCI player a programme about a DOuble Glazing man

[Trisha69]

WOW! Lovely positve post xx

[Mai7]

A lovely story there Rosie and thanks for sharing. 💞

Treehouse, yes, I write down everything carefully and compose a selection of replies - doesn't everyone do that?!  Just kidding! I just seem to be able to read the latest threads and remember everything as if we're all in the same room having a conversation. 

Anniej - get your glam on lovely lady! 💄💅🏼

[Rosie65]

Carrying on a theme of positive posts - had a lovely catch up this weekend with my son and his girlfriend. They stayed here and we ran them to the airport today as they have gone to Cannes for a holiday.

Also the ultimate survivor story - celebrated my sister's 56th birthday today - diagnosed with non hormone receptive breast cancer at 29 (not called triple neg in those days), children were age 2 and 4, had lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, two further lumps removed from both breasts and finally bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. She looks amazing, is incredibly fit and well, has full head of hair lol and is living life to the full.

[Anniej]

Hi Wolfee, and gang, just chipping in re make up as you sound down. I went on the Look Good course and was given a make up bag full of goodies. I'm therefore assuming they are A ok for us. Included was Boots complexion evener- bright green and great for getting rid of steroid red, as well as loose powder,eye shadow and a lip gloss. We were told that in big branches of Boots there is a specialist who will help re paraban free stuff. Haven't tested that yet.  Liz Earle foundation and Clinique moisturiser and concealer - so a bit high end but only tiny amounts need to be used. I've wasted loads £££ lashing it on! Bare Minerals contributed mascara, and to clean it off  A-Derma was provided. Avon contributed a waterproof eyeliner , but I found it a bit hard. Lipsticks from Mac, and lip liner from Max Facor. A complete make over was done with this little lot. Magnifying glasses needed to check ingredients, so I'm just going with the flow! 💄💋 cheer up ladies, cancer warriors loud and proud. Lashings of lippy, and the brightest scarves and hats we can find. X

[treehouse]

A lovely weekend being 'normal' . Bumped into a work mate in a cafe and joined her for scones. 😊 hope everyone is ok and Trisha I hope you worked things out with your friend. She must know you have been through a lot. My youngest has just told Me that he is off school tomorrow due to teacher training day. If he had not said I would have sent him. I really had no idea. Not even got it on the calendar I checked the website, he is right!
Brain has packed and left for a holiday.. I miss it!

[WolfEE]

Benecos makeup looks good and reasonably priced compared to some. Roll on payday 😀

[treehouse]

😂 Mai7 you keep us smiling 😊. How do you manage such long and personal messages, do you take notes while reading our posts? Chemo brain has hit big time for me. Concentration is limited and oh look there's a bee......

[MJK]

Mai7, it's stage 3 because it was a big tumor with lots of lymph nodes infected but no sign of secondary tumors. So I'll take the hair loss and all the other delightful side effects as a sign that the chemo is being nasty to the cancer too. My son was sad this morning because he's a cuddly lad and I'm not as comfy with a picc line on one side and flat on the other. 🙁

[katie11]

Tesco are quite good for shampoo, deodorant etc and the sanex zero range is good for body wash , bubble bath x

[katie11]

Most of it is benecos. Can't really find much in boots / supermarkets but much more online x

[WolfEE]

Katie11, what brand is your makeup?

Mai7, 😂 Your the best

[katie11]

I love your posts MAI7 always put a smile on my face. You should start writing a book of your journey it would be inspirational to anyone xx

[Mai7]

I can sympathise with hormonal effects ladies. Yesterday I had the last day (hopefully) of a four day period culminating in some sort of hot flush on my chest and face (for the first time!!) so I think the menopause symptoms are kicking in from the chemo.  Luckily no mood swings yet but my partner is ready for the entertainment and drama they may bring at some point.

Trisha, try and make up with you bestie and see the humour in the situation and hopefully she will appreciate how vulnerable you are feeling right now. Xx

Wandestrong, good to hear from you. Hope all is going well for you and baby and yes, I think it must be very hard for the youngest of you on here and the success stories help tremendously.  I too hope to be able to support others in the future with my success story. Xx

MJK, you mentioned that you are categorised as stage 3 - is it the vascular involvement which means stage 3? Have you read up on Loratadine?  Xx

Katie, hatchimal Lol! I'm the opposite, more like a monk with a thin covering all over but balding on top. My kids don't want to see me wigless (I can understand why!).  I just do the best I can with wig and makeup and if others don't like it then that's their problem to deal with because, yes, this is temporary and there is much more to a person than appearance.  It's just when your self esteem feels a bit fragile you weight more importance on it than usual, which kinda sucks! I haven't checked any of my makeup for parabens! Oh, no, the parabens are going to get me, not the parabens, anything but the parabens........! Xx

[katie11]

Bless you ladies. Those chemicals and steriods do play with our emotions don't they. I'm sure your friend will understand Trisha. She knows what you are going through and a true friend will see that.

Remember our appearance is temporay. Don't know why but I've got in my head I look like a hatchimal! Bald with a bit of fluff on top lol! It's not easy with the wig but I tell myself it's easier for my boys to see hair than no hair.

As for the make up my hubby bought me some paraben free stuff as a mothers day present. I actually quite like most of it xx

Keep smiling ladies and do whatever you need to do to get through this. We can deal with appearance on the other side Xx

[WolfEE]

Trisha, sorry your awake and worrying, not sure what happened with your bestie but I hope it can be resolved with a bit of grovelling and a sorry if she is a close friend she will know how up and down your mood is right now and forgive?
I'm having a struggle with my appearance also I feel so fat I've gained so much weight none of my clothes fit my comfort eating has court up with me literally over night. So even when I make an effort to feel better I am limited what I can wear and have to put hot frumpy clothes on then I reach for my makeup that is full of nasty sand parabens and I feel bad and then pull on the hot itchy wig!!!! But I know this will pass I think it's because I've been feeling well this week and know tomorrow I'll be starting again with the next cycle and possibly feeling crappy again!!
We will get past this we are allowed 'bad days / moments'
Try and get some sleeep, eveything is worse in the night and when you tired.
Thinking of you, chin up xxxxx

[Trisha69]

I feel so irritable, and was nasty to my best friend, the grade 2 is falling out, and I feel so ugly and guikty

[treehouse]

I know the feeling MJK. Not much hair left and scalp covered in spots. Not the sexy Sinead look I was hoping for 😨

[MJK]

My sister met a family friend on Thursday. She had stage 3 like me in her early 40s and is still fit and healthy (with nice hair)14 years on 👧. Very encouraging. This morning's shower was less so. I'm now almost bald. 😞

[Wandestrong]

I agree, survivor stories are wonderful in the midst of Google-negativity! I appreciate it's easy to forget about this period, after 10years+ of being clear (my prayers for us all!), but I for one have vowed to post my own story (in faith) at future dates to give hope to ladies undergoing this tough period, especially younger ladies like myself. It's always hard being the youngest person on the chemo ward, but I hold on to the hope of a long and healthy life ahead of me.

Positive thoughts


Wande x

[Mai7]

Treehouse, I agree, it really is good to see those survivor stories when you are in the midst of everything. Hope is a wonderful energising thing which gives you courage and positivity. Have a lovely family weekend. 

[treehouse]

Thanks Mai I just had a look. I don't tend to stray far from our little group as I feel I get all the support I need here. But I have just read some 10 year survivors stories and that is definitely encouraging to see the light at the end of the tunnel and life beyond. Feel happy and positive for a weekend with 4 kids. ( my step kids have yet to see me without a scarf 😐)

[AnnieA]

Yes Annie I'm keeping my bra on it's seems to help. The exit site is fine that's not bothering my that much it's just the plaster on my neck pulling like mad. I'll have to try and find out who I phone and I have no number for the community nurses yet. Thanx for the advice ladies will have to bare with it for now xx

[Anniej]

Yes, and yes! Do not touch it. If it gets infected it will have to be taken out. It will be itchy because the stitch is pulling. If the DN is looking after you ring her and get her to come and change the dressing. Also ask for steri strips across the dressing to support the weight . Once the top stitch is out and the little white plug taken away it feels much lighter, and you can shower again. Are you wearing a bra day and night to tuck it in?

[MJK]

I'm not sure about Hickman. I have to leave it with the PICC. Give the community nurses a call. X

[AnnieA]

Hickman line friends, do I have to wait for the nurse to remove the plaster on the entry site? And does it need to stay covered until the stitch is removed (I know the exit site does)
The plasters really tight and driving me mad 😡

[Mai7]

Hey Treehouse, it's a good song and coincidental that you heard it and then the Onc said you could call him Al too! Bizarre! We can make a chemo compilation. I already posted a song list in the coffee lounge on this forum a few weeks ago under the "hope and inspiration" thread "Songs to get you through" if anyone wants to check it out and add suggestions. Treehouse, you could add the two you just mentioned. 🎉 👌🏽🎧 🎼

also, if you go on the hope and inspiration thread, you should read the mountain lion story if you haven't already. It's so true! 🦁

[AnnieA]

Sounds lovely Annie I'm looking forward to it x

[Anniej]

Ive been on it, Annie. There were quite a few ladies there with companions. My session was in a Maggies centre, so there was plenty of room for the companions to either sit, or go off and read papers. You get a lovely goody bag, all suited to us cancer girlies. Enjoy it. X

[treehouse]

Hi Rosie soft centre days will sneak up on us completely allowed and probably healthy too. I count treatment day as day 1. Just makes sense in my head. I definitely have chemo brain, I forget things. Today was the first day I had the energy and motivation to do stuff after round 2.

I heard ' call me Al' on the radio today made me think of you Mai7. It is definitely one of my chemo anthems. My onc is Israeli and no one can pronounce his name so when we met him, he actually said "you can call me Al" even the nurses call him Dr Al.
The other song has to be " Nothing compares to you" for obvious reasons. Help me out ladies we can make a compilation album. 💿📢

[Rosie65]

Sorry, yes I'm fine obviously having an emotional marshmallow day!!  I am  day 1 or is it  day 2 - do you count chemo day as day 1? See what I mean the medication messes with my brain ha ha

Annie A I'm booked on one on June 20th it does look really good if you can get to it. I was told I could bring someone with me and just assumed they could come in with me.