Treehouse, your mum is an inspiration! Four times, and still fighting? Way to go! This is my second time, and I have to say it's harder than the first, because it's more advanced so the treatment is rougher. But I do so enjoy it when I meet people with an early- stage cancer like I had first time, that I can say "Well, I had that 15 years ago, it's not easy at the time but you'll come through it and I've really enjoyed my life since then." If it's someone who hasn't known me forever, I do NOT add "but then I got another one 15 years later"!! Or if I can't avoid mentioning it (eg because I met them on the chemo ward), then I make sure to tell them that this one is completely unrelated and just bad luck, it won't happen to them unless they are very unlucky. Nobody wants to hear the bad stories, surely everyone should have enough common sense to just not mention that stuff to someone who's going through it?
But what I find even worse than people telling you horror stories, is when old friends and family members just don't get in touch at all, because they don't know what to say. Please, guys, just say something. A quick call or email, "how are you," "I was thinking about you," "how's your hubby coping" -- anything, just to know they care means so much. First time around, I cut people a lot of slack, thinking their heart is probably in the right place but they just feel bad and don't know what to say. Second time around, I'm not so forgiving. If you don't know what to say, try saying "Hey, I just don't know what to say." That and a hug, or a few kisses on an email, is plenty! If you can't make that much of an effort, then don't expect me to call and ask how your new puppy is settling in or whether you had a good time in Spain.
The easiest people to talk to, of course, are the ones who've been through it themselves, or in their families, in some shape or form. I love my little "survivors' club" of people who've been there, done that, and I can relax and share jokes about how every little headache these days is a brain tumour!
Best of luck to everyone with bloods and treatment this week. I'm doing the blood dance! It's like a scene from "Shaun of the Dead" around here.
