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May 2017 chemo starters

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Mjk, such a great post yesterday, thank you for putting it into words. It's great to be positive and optimistic about the future, but it's not a good idea to pretend that everything is fine when we all know it isn't. What you said about grieving is spot on.

I want to share a few things that happened after my first round of BC, 15 years ago. Within a year of diagnosis, yes I'd been through months of treatment, panic, misery, and all the rest of it. But also: my partner and I had plunged all our so-called retirement savings (plus some insurance money) into buying a place in Greece. It had always been our"one day" dream but we realized it doesn't make sense to wait, so we stopped being cautious and went for it. Then we got married (we'd been together for many years but never got round to it). Then I gave up my full-time office job to go freelance. A couple of years later my husband did the same. Nowadays (well, until this year!) we work for ourselves and divide our time between England and Greece.
We've had a wonderful time. I know not everyone can necessarily do anything quite so drastic, but what I'm saying is that BC gave me the courage to go for the things I really want in life, because you never know what's around the corner. Whatever happens now, I don't regret a minute of those years. By the way.buying a place in Greece was a terrible way to invest our life savings, as since the economic crisis it's now worth practically nothing. Do I care? Do I heck!
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Mai so pleased you had a lovely meal out and enjoyed a bit or normal again.  Just back form having a drive out and didnt even put the radioactive body suit on either, I didnt actually get out of the car, but it was beautiful to see all the autum colours everywhere doesnt everything look clearer and brighter when you look at it all now instead of taking it for granted anymore.  Hope everyone's se's are relenting and thank you again ladies for all you love and support last week, I wouldnt have made it through that or this without you.  Love and sparkles shi xx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hi Tree house. Am ok thanks. My tastebuds are baxk and cant stop scoffing!! Hope you and all thw other wonderful ladies on here are having a good Sunday. I went to the beach yesterday. Well behind the sea wall. the waves wind and spray was exhilarating:-)
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Katie - wishing you a really fantastic holiday - enjoy yourself and relax... x

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Morning ladies! Hope you all have a good day.  We had a lovely meal yesterday - Japanese and Korean, it was so nice to be able to do normal things again after 6months of being a chemo prisoner. Just getting dressed up and putting on my watch and jewellery again felt good, like I'm still in the game.

 

Katie, have a fab holiday! β˜€οΈ

 

MJK, well said and big hugs to you. πŸ’— That's exactly how I feel about all of this crap.  I'm enjoying my last week of having two boobs before the brutal surgery a week on Tuesday.  Still, we get to (hopefully) stay alive in return for our harsh trade offs. πŸ’—

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Go and relax and try to forget about the bc roller coaster for a whole week. So jealous πŸ˜€πŸ‘
Enjoy Katie. Your husband is fab.

Hey Trish you ok?

Love to all x x
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Katie - have a lovely holiday enjoy yourself and bring some sunshine back please.  Mai hope you had a lovely meal last night.  Hope everyone's se's and operations start settling better day by day.  Love and sparkles shi xx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Off to Lanzarote today ladies, see you in a week! Take care of yourselfs. Good luck for anyone with appointments etc this week xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

x
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

MJK

 

He is sooo funny love him xx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Or Anton Du Beke sambaing in pink. πŸ’ƒ Neutro Phil personified! 😁 That should sort the lymph nodes too...
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Fab Mai - enjoy your evening out eating in your favourite restaurant - you so deserve a tasty treat and I really do hope the restaurant spoils you with some fantastic food xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

I'm watching Strictly, Davood + jive + red =πŸ’ƒ πŸ˜€
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Thanks MJK and lovely words of wisdom. I think you are right about grieving and it’s many stages. We are so busy fighting that we don’t start that process till it’s all over.
Thanks mishy and Jay.
I too would have been broken or put extra strain on my loved ones if I didn’t have you lot to let off steam with. But we share so many good times and celebrate every mile Stone too.
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

MJK - that's such a lovely post, honest yet positive - thank you for sharing xxx

 

and it's so true ladies, without each and everyone of us this discussion group would be non-existent!  without each and every one of you my life for the past 6 months would not have been so enriched, I am forever grateful xxx  

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

MJK what a beautiful post so spot on and provoking you are right and have touched a place in probably all our hearts about how this thing affects us all, we have had one hell of a ride and it's not over yet strength and the will to be here is what has kept us all going learning to accept our lives will never be the same and that a new person will emerge from all this, it is OK to have wobbles get angry frightened and sad sometimes aswell as being so thankful that we have a NHS that has saved us, we are so lucky to have it, ladies in other countries are not as fortunate as us I cannot thank the people who have been caring for me since the day I went to the one stop shop clinic have been astounding showing compassion when needed and also offering reassurance when also needed x
Hi Shi I'm doing good!
On a much lighter and less serious note who's looking forward to Strictly do you think they might throw in some dancing for us! πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒthey should have a blood dance night!!!
Bye for now ladies x
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

MJK - beautiful xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Ok, so from someone who has finished treatment. I am alive and (hopefully) cancer free. But it will be a long time⏰ before I feel that I've 'recovered'. In truth while the hair will grow back πŸ™† my boob won't😒. I will be scarredπŸ‘Ύ and burnt πŸ‘Ίand my left arm won't be the same πŸ’ͺso some of the crazy stuff I did beforeπŸ‚πŸ„ is permanently off limits. That's to say nothing of my broken thermostat 😡😳😡😳😡

I am alive and 'well' but have paid a heavy price to be so. In my case lymph node removal (essential) and reconstruction (impossible) decisions were dictated by the brutal facts but that doesn't make it any easier to live with.

But now that it's over, I will need to grieve what I've lost 😭 because in truth this stuff DOES matter and I do care😞. We will all have to come to terms with the new reality and it's not pretty.πŸ‘Ή

While we do that, we need those nice clothesπŸ‘—/flowers🌹/holidaysπŸŒ…/hot chocolateβ˜•/long walksπŸƒ/meals out🍝/sloth days😴/whatever it takes to make us feel that it's ok to not be ok and to bring a bit of beauty back into our lives. So let's enjoy them without guilt because we ARE worth it.

I think we'll need each other too.πŸ‘­πŸ‘­πŸ‘­ Because we get it and can be honest with each other when we're having to be positive for those around us. So big hugs all round and thanks for getting itπŸ’©. X

Oh and huge sparkles πŸŽ‡πŸŽ†πŸŽ‡πŸŽ†πŸŽ‡πŸŽ†πŸŽ‡ snd dancing πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒto any of you that need it.
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

You ok mishy? We’re having a wig cap and bank robbers comparing on Oct forum😘shi xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Mmm hot chocolate and chocolate biscuits can't wait till I can taste those finer things in life I miss the taste of chocolate 🍫
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Lovely treehouse, nice to see the chocolate biscuits in there😘enjoy. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•βœ¨βœ¨βœ¨shi xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hot chocolate, chocolate biscuits and watching original ghost busters movie πŸ˜‚
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Treehouse so glad you’ve been out for a nice walk and kicked some leaves up πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•βœ¨βœ¨βœ¨are you having a nice hot chocolate now to warm up. Love shi xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Have a wonderful meal Mai hope you get dressed up and feel special and taste all flavours πŸ₯‘πŸ₯–πŸ—πŸ₯—
Just managed a windy walk to the bottom of the road. Kicked a pile of leaves 🍁 under a tree. Husband refused to let me wear the Yoda hat in public!
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Enjoy every mouth full mai! X
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

On a more Cheery note, we're just about to head out to our favourite restaurant for the first time in more than 6 months. I am so looking forward to it.

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hi treehouse, just reading somehting Jay posted, Ive just wanted to share with you where my snb was done there is a concave bit there above and to the side a bit of my boob on the operated side, I dont know if that helps at all with what you are seeing yourself?  I hope it does helpand if not I thought it worth a mention to try. Love shi xx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Jay, you're really good at knowing what to say. Have you thought of being a counsellor? I'm the same as you, I don't have a choice for reconstruction. They won't do one for a year and they can't save my nipple either so I'll just have a big scar. This really is a cruel disease yet we have to stay positive because not being positive is not really having a life anyway. Breast cancer sucks!

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Oh treehouse! Sorry to hear you are feeling down but Jay is right. Give yourself time. The operation was never gonna to be the quick fix. we all know by now how long our journey is. You are doing great! X
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜˜πŸ‘
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Especially for Treehouse - keep smiling lovely lady xx

 

knickers.jpg

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Yes Treehouse and definitely don't go looking at yourself in the mirror with those on!!! haha xxx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Jay thanks for your honesty big hug πŸ€—. That is pretty much what husband has said this morning.
You are right x x x x
Better get those big girl pants on again.
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hi Treehouse - sorry to hear of your anxiety and disappointment and well done for not bottling it up and for allowing us to try and reassure you (although you may find my view a little harsh)!

 

I am not allowed any reconstruction for 12/18 months and if I'm honest this is probably just one of the reasons why I'm deciding at the moment to remain lop-sided!!  I know I would always be expecting amazing things!  As previously stated, I'm impatient and going through this whole "journey" I've realised I'm even less patient than I ever imagined. 

 

I'm guessing this "impatient" feeling affects us all, as we all want to be back to "normal" and we're still very much in denial that this cruel disease has sneeked itself into our lives and brought us to our knees.

 

My advice would be to stop comparing(!) your new boobs - just think, your left side has had a lot more going on than the right side - it's where you've had nodes removed and the whole environment on that side of your chest has been challenged.  

 

Take time away from the mirror and give your body time to adjust to what it's been through - give yourself time to come to terms with what you've been through - stop putting added worries and pressure on yourself when you're already very vulnerable.  

 

By the tme your appointment comes round on Tuesday - I'm sure things will have settled down a little more - if not, let the professionals provide advice on steps to improve the situation.  

 

Although I know you're fearing the worse - cos that's what us ladies do - don't go worrying yourself that it's failed - just cover up, ignore and carry on.

 

Sorry if my words seem a little harsh Treehouse - but honestly as you know, worrying and getting anxious are not healthy and we need to be healthy and strong to face the new "normal" life just waiting round the corner for us.... chin up girlie xx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hang on in there Treehouse I'm not much use to you really your surgery but sending lots of virtual hugs and best wishes I'm sure your surgeon will keep you right and hopefully it may just be settling in your are bound to feel like this your body and mind has been through a bloody tough time and sometimes we just need to let it all out πŸ’–
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Treehouse really hope it is nothing serious, I think we have a plan in our head how everything should be as we have all already been through so much and a curve ball can be so upsetting so it is completely understandable to be feeling how you are sending big hugs xxxx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Thanks ladies . No it is not the side that went twang Mai thank goodness. I have an appointment come through for Tuesday to see surgeon. Just got to wait 😒
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Oh dear Treehouse, I hope you dont need more surgery as you've been doing so well so far.  Is the side with problems the side you felt the twang on yesterday when you stretched? Could it be that something has torn internally? I'd ring the breast nurse as soon as possible to get it checked out. I suppose you'll have to wait until Monday though.  Your anxiety is understandable, as BC patients we're constantly looking at ourselves under a microscope. Big gentle hugs to you. Xxx πŸ’—

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hi soworridl, I'm on day 9 of third and last doxy, the se's are beginning to wear off, but food is still yucky and hands are sore. I think the effects drag on a bit longer each time. After no.2 I was ok from about day 10 except for tiredness. But it's unpredictable. Sorry if that is not much consolation!
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Treehouse, I can't offer any help from my own experience as I'm still pre surgery. But I think you need to talk to the professionals about your concerns. Who do you trust most and feel most comfortable with? The surgeon? The bcn's? Somebody else? Phone them and make an appointment, they can look at you and hopefully reassure you. I think they will most likely say that it's still early days and you just have to wait for it to settle down. Which I know is Cr*p,but then so is this whole thing. We've all been swimming in a sea of it for months now. Hang on in there.
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Oh treehouse wish I was with you just now. It is so very understandable to be upset if things don’t feel right or are starting to look as you had hoped, it is still early days. I know I only had therapeutic mammoplasty 10 weeks ago but mine is still settling and taking shape. Why don’t you try and see if you can see your surgeon next week to have a good chat with him to make sure that he is happy all still healing as it should, it’s very natural to have questions and concerns whirring round after all you’ve been through already you just want everything right so you can get on with your life. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•βœ¨βœ¨βœ¨I love you and I am glad you’ve not bottled these feeling up treehouse. If I’ve not been any help, hope one of the other ladies can help you more. Love shi xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Morning all. In a bid to share and not bottle things up...
I know looks are not important and that many of you have chosen not to have reconstruction and my mum is the same. But I chose to have immediate implants as it was possible. Right boob is settling in and looking more like a boob every day.
Left ( cancer boob) always had a dent but now the lower skil is all tight and puckered ( almost looks like the cancer symptom of orange 🍊 peep skin. It is also not boob shape. I have been patiently waiting for swelling to settle but it is getting worse. I thing my skin is attached to the mesh and not happy. It just looks deformed 😒.
I’m trying really hard to just think the cancer has gone who cares and not get upset.
I really don’t want further surgery.
I’m scared the implant has failed 😰
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Just wanted to say thanks again Tatyana, Udder cream has just arrived.  Wishing everyone good recoveries from ops and wishing everyones se's go away for you soon.  Love and sparkles shi xx

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Hi Soworridl - My side effects were worse from day 3 to day 8. I had a couple of rough days with the injections and then things would improve. Although I would get bouts of explosive wind and diarrhea (usually because I would try and eat too healthy fruit and veg) - this could last right up until the next chemo session.
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Good news daffodil! Next step here you come!

Sorry to hear you are feeling stressed Trish. Hope you get an of action soon. You too treehouse, good luck for Tuesday it is a horrible anxious time remember to keep talking to people and not to bottle things up. We are all here x
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Daffodil fantastic news you must be thrilled
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Sworridlr I have just had number 4 doctaxal and everyone has been different, I didn't really get a good week on third lot, it improved slightly but think it would be cumalitve effect. As much as I hated fec it was consistent with symptoms 

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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Lovely news Daffodil so pleased for you onwards and upwards xx
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

Docetaxel side effects for me were day 3 to 8. Things improve after injections stop.
Hugs x
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Re: May 2017 chemo starters

How long did your docetaxel side effects Last? Not the same as FEC with 1 bad week no 😞