It really is Treehouse - and the fact that I've got to face the girl when she returns to school perfectly "normal" is going to be very tricky in my current situation. I hope in one way she doesn't return until I'm off again for my rads.
Saying that, it's amazing how resiliant children are - I've had to deal with several during my time in this job where they've suffered bereavement and that has been for parents/grandparents/aunties/uncles and of course pets - quite often they're absolutely fine and it's me who sheds a tear once they've walked away!!
As for looking in the mirror - it still seems weird for me too - I see the neat scar and almost feel as though it's just suddenly dropped off!
My nails are suddenly causing me a problem - anyone elses suffering?
Don't stress Treehouse - I'm sure the surgeon would be wanting to see you sooner if there was any question of a defective implant.
Jay, that's tragic news. We should be grateful that we had an earlier warning of ill health and have the NHS to help us survive.
Treehouse, I could down a few right now! here's a cheeky G&T or two 🍸🍸🍸 virtual drinking is all we can do now! We can't even have a drink for escapism! Maybe the wording on your report was suggesting the scan was to check for a defective implant rather than finding it to be defective? The wording is ambiguous. Ring your breast nurse.
I've ordered some CBD oil, if it doesn't help wth recurrence it might help anxiety and aches and pains!
Rosie, well done on making progress wth moving about and self care. Wow, I can't imagine what distress and turmoil you must have gone through with your daughter and thank goodness you made the right decision and she made it.
WolfEE, how are you getting on with rads?
I just phoned breast nurse for a bit more clarity and she said to remember that all of the cancer was removed with clear margins and I have a pill and rads to help prevent recurrence so to try and stay positive and happy and they will keep regular check ups on me. I can request a full pathology report via PALS but after a long chat I feel better so won't bother. The consultant was ill with a cold which may be why he seemed to come across more pessimistic. So clearly the mood of the professionals we engage with affects our outlook and our level of anxiety!
I have spent the whole morning just removing all garments, showering, drying it all off and returning all garments. It was exhausting.
I have the same problem with family saying well that’s the worst over we can move forward now. I have still got to get the results from the mastectomies.
When I came round and they explained that the right side (non tumour side) had failed I completely misunderstood and thought the tissue was cancerous which is why they had problems. Before the op my surgeon had explained that as I’m BRCA 1 they may find cancer in that side when they remove it. So I got upset and started waffling about cancer and being BRCA positive 😂 They were actually talking about abdominal tissue. I feel so embarrassed now, but in my defence it was after midnight and I went down at 9am!
The plastic surgeon said “ I think you have a lot of unresolved issues”
Treehouse - glad you got back in the real world yesterday, it’s been a long time for you with that infection sneaking up on you. As you say we really all need to sit back and appreciate what we’ve been through and how well we’ve coped.
No way is it just 1 in 5 who have PTSD.
Mai, why do they have so many ambiguities in these reports. We need clear concise information, how else are we expected to make an informed decision.
My daughter was seriously ill as a baby and I had to decide if she should be moved to UCH in London. They were saying she wasn’t well but not really spelling it out. So I asked, what’s her prognosis and the consultant said there is a strong possibility she will die if she stays here or will suffer severe brain damage, she may not survive the journey to London but it gives her a chance. So I agreed she could be moved, she survived the journey (just!) and she made a full recovery.
Good afternoon ladies - glad to hear all seem to be doing OK.
Back in the real world for sure, as today during my time at work - I heard of a young girl (year 5) so probably not yet 10 who sadly lost her Mum suddenly over the weekend after suffering a massive heart attack - leaving behind Husband, the girl I know and her two younger siblings - it's times like this that I'm feel extremly grateful. I can only begin to imagine the pain this family are suffering.
Tatyana, yes, it's hard with family and friends expecting to have a cancer free party or celebration of some sort. When you pass on the unknowns and uncertainties no one knows how to move forward but that's what makes cancer so scary, I guess we all know this. I think it's worth celebrating getting through treatment and just get on with enjoying the moment.
Treehouse, yes the feedback you get is very wishy washy. Yours looks like a typo error but who knows?! They may have meant "tested" or "removed" or "analysed" instead of "affected". I think you want answers and they don't have them. It feels like we still know very little about cancer despite all the progress being made. They were happy that it was all removed. I find the "partial response" hard to get my head around. Was it a 5% response or an 80% response? I would like to have the other boob done, perhaps similar to you, remove all breast tissue like a jacket potato but keep the nipple. I wasn't genetic tested as they consider me to be so low risk for BRACA gene but I will ask again. The post trauma of cancer leaves you feeling like you have a stalker and have to try and remove all opportunity to stop the stalker finding you.
Only one in five! 👀 The other four had PTS but didn't realise it was a disorder after all they'd been through! 😂
Morning Ladies! Hope you are all doing well. 💗
Rosie, glad you are home, now take it easy and let everyone help you. X
Treehouse, Glad you are doing ok and hoe your recovery and heart rate continue to improve. I'm still feeling quite tight in the armpit though improving slowly. I can now move my elbow out about 60degrees and last week was only able to do 45degrees. I received my pathology letter today but the detail (or lack thereof) doesn't offer much clarity so I'm going to request a copy of the full pathology report. It says there is evidence of a partial response to chemo and difficult to determine tumour size and then goes in to say a 90mm area was seen if grade2 invasive ductal cancer. I think this means that not all cancerous activity is classed as tumour. It also suggests 9/12 nodes contain "tumour" but doesn't detail whether these were isolated cancer cells or micrometasteses. Sorry, you are probably regretting asking if I'm feeling normal! Part of me is wondering how the hell I am still alive after a 90mm alien was extracted from me! The surgery site is healing well though.
Well done Treehouse you achieved more than enough for one day by the sounds of it.
Rest up and sleep well xx
Amazing Rosie to hear you're safely back home already - well done! I bet your family will be delighted to have you back home too. Make the most of your OH being home and do all the pampering you need!
The knickers and stockings sound so sexy!
As you say, you've been through lots - so no overdoing it and jeopardising the work that's been done.
Fantastic that you're not having to take too much pain relief too.
Sleep well in your own bed - bet you will and don't forget to turn the alarm clock off! Sweet dreams my lovely xx
I’m home! Hospital WiFi was rubbish so just catching up on posts.
All drains are out and I am on paracetamol/ ibuprofen for pain relief and codeine if I need it. To be honest didn’t need the morphine even the first night as it is more discomfort than pain.
Andi - the tummy does pull a bit and it’s difficult to stand up completely straight at first but I’m pretty much there today. In comparison the boobs are fine, a bit sore obviously but easier to cope with. Drain removal was good too, the abdominal ones I barely felt coming out and just the Diep one was a bit painful.
I’m planning on taking the full 12 weeks off before a phased return to the office, but will probably work from home before that maybe after Christmas. The surgeon said I won’t feel completely back to normal before Christmas,ie doing all the things I was doing before. OH is off work all next week to look after me. After going through this I am not going to anything to jeopardise my recovery!
I was advised to wear sports bra( I got a “shock absorber” one from a sports shop) and back fastening. They were all very impressed with it and said it was ideal. Am wearing “magic knickers” up to my waist and the green stockings so am looking incredibly sexy!! Was put in all this on the first day and up sitting in the chair and walking. They don’t hang about
I have to wear the bra and knickers for23 out of 24 hours for next 6 weeks. All dressings are waterproof so already had a shower. In hospital the separate underwear is ideal as lots of people want to look at you constantly, sometimes just boobs, just tummy or both!! The all in ones sound like a good idea too as the knickers do seem to roll down a bit when you’re sitting.
Am looking forward to a lovely sleep in my own bed tonight
Thanks Ladies. 💗 I do miss the look of the wig for the longer style but it's so nice to just have my own hair now and get on with it. Mine is about 2cm now so a very severe pixie cut! I don't think the colour has changed at all for me, it's dark with about 10-20 noticeable grey hairs above each ear just as before! It seems to be growing in all directions on top but will probably straighten out with the weight of longer hair. 💁🏻
HOORAY - Welcome back to Planet Earth Treehouse - it's good to hear you've returned... now remember to ease in gently - shake off those cobwebs - and come join in the fun!
Hope today continued to be both positive and good for you xx
Morning Ladies! Hope you are all doing well. 💗
Mishy, I too feel the cold more at the moment and keep turning up the heating as well as wearing a cardigan. It is turning colder but I think the lack of hair around the neck makes you feel colder.
We went out for a meal last night and for the first time I went without Lola! So I'm now committing to going with my very short pixie cut. My worst fear is that I have to have more chemo and then won't be able to go back to a wig longer than my hair! There has been no mention of more chemo so to just my anxiety at work!
Treehouse, welcome back and make sure you re-enter the worlds atmosphere slowly, dump your space capsule in the sea and cruise gently to dry land in low populated areas! 😂
Tatyana, well done on committing to Christmas participation with your early Christmas pudding. I assume this allows plenty of time to feed it daily with brandy and/or sherry!?