May 2017 chemo starters

[Raitchr]

What a rubbish day I've had! School bus didnt show up so took son, A1 was closed so did detour, he got to school on time I was a bit late. Office had row at work about holidays, I came home and decided I would apply for the work from home job, about to revamp my cv and check details of job on line and they closed it a week early and no longer taking applications...

[Shi]

That’s interesting rosie has your onc told you you are going on these after you have finished rads? At my last onc app before chemo 6 he said to me no follow up? I wonder if I need to phone the unit and make appointment to see him while i’m Still under him they said I could ring for next 6 weeks? Sorry I don’t teally know what’s happening to be honest, it was a case of your under rads now feel like on the conveyor belt of the generation game, wok, cuddly toy, extra pills 😳😳😳I don’t want to miss something that I should be getting as a preventative measure if that makes sense. Thanks 💕💕✨✨shi xx

[Rosie65]

Well Tatyana we can compare notes, I am going on to Capecitabine for 6-8 cycles as a preventative measure against recurrence.

It is now being offered to TN ladies who had residual cancer after chemo regardless of whether nodes were clear or not.

Oncologist said I should still be able to go back to work, but I will probably work more from home than I originally intended. Although I’m not exactly jumping with joy at the thought of more chemo, even in tablet form, it seems a better approach than there used to be for TN - cross your fingers and hope for the best 😂

[Rosie65]

Oh Andi, the first two weeks are tough and unfortunately you just have to be patient . It does get easier, believe me, but it was a big op and the gradual progress can be frustrating at times.

I think because you can’t do very much, there’s too much thinking time. This was the time when I finally relaxed and thought about what I’d been through and I think the wobbles are completely normal. Going back for the results is always an anxious time, but at least you’ve had the mastectomy so whatever the results it’s all been removed.

[Mishy18]

Sorry for the typos in that last post 😂 think you get my drift though!

[Mishy18]

Buddy my GP wants me to take it long term for the benefits i had a low vitamin D problem before but just to take supplements this is a def ciurse tgen on going management at a lower level i thought it was interesting after reading the link you posted that alit of us could probably help ourselves a little by having it checked and treated so thanks Buddy!!!

[WolfEE]

Andi, two weeks is so little time darling hang in there each day there will be little improvements. I think the big change happens week 4 and then week 6.
Stay strong your doing superb xxxxxxx

[buddyfan]

Mishy, I may have posted about vit D as I saw articles on that. I'm deficient but most uk people will be deficient in the winter. I have a friend who is always outside and she's defcient. I'm prescribed vit D now.

[Mishy18]

I thought i would share something interesting with you ladies there was a link on here a couple of weeks ago don't know if it was a post from may but was on October thread too ref links between vitamin D def and bc and how taking it can help in future
I had bloods taken by GP to see if i was anemic, i wasn't but tests have came back im vitamin D def so need to take prescription strength vitamin D and to continue taking it indefinitely thought it was interesting.

[treehouse]

Oh Andi. It’s normal and allowed.
Big hugs .what painkillers are you on? Keep them up. It is easier to keep pain at bay rather than get on top of it. If you know what I mean. I know you had a massive op. Be patient x x x

[Andi71]

I keep having moments where tears just pour out of me. I keep thinking about the enormity of everything I’ve been through and I think I’d hoped I’d be further on in my recovery 2 weeks post operation, so I’m hurting more that I thought I would.  I’m scared about the results of my pathology report next week.  I’m just feeling broken and exhausted by all of this 😢😢😢

[katie11]

Eeek tree house! Chicken pox! Have you had them. Least you are building up your immune system!

Wolfee. We all have our fears and we all need to get to grips with it but you are doing amazing. Half a stone already is fab! A piece of cake will be fine and necessary every now and again. Don't beat yourself up about it. We can't be expected to change overnight and be perfect. Baby steps hun x

Hope everyone else OK! It's horrible here today wet, cold and windy! Just done my couch to 5k and off to walk the dog shortly x enjoy your day ladies xx

[treehouse]

I completely understand your germ issues Mishy. I went to my sons school last week for options evening. I lasted 20 min and had to go outside Twice for fresh air due to flushes. It is parents evening tomorrow and I can’t face crowds and germs so I have emailed for information. In fact I don’t go out much or I just wait in the car. Hospital and gp are my only outings and that has hand rub.
My kids keep picking up bugs. Have missed a weekend with my step kids due to flu and their mum just txt to ask if I have had chickenpox so that doesn’t sound good! 😟

[Mishy18]

Treehouse i got someone to help me from welfare rights a tge lady was a macmillan welfare adviser she eas from local macmillan centre as i thought they would have a bit more experience in these things although citizens advice also have people to help
Yeah H sorry won't be much help now but Misyangel already gone through the process
Work is something i need to think about hopefully they can accommodate my requests otherwise i will have to think about something else
The sugar debate is a interesting one i have stopped using sugar only drink milk decaf tea or water or the occasional smoothie home made though i do use honey have made granola etc using it but there will be times where i might have a cheeky biscuit it cake how can you not? But i knoe i have significantly reduced its use which is really good for me!!! I try to eat more healthy now but im scared ti look at diets for prevention of cancer i feel me personally could end up with something like ocd im already neurotic about germs even though im finished treatment i still avoid situations sometimes and still cover my mouth and nose if i spot anyone coughing or sneezing 😂😂😂😂
Si the diet side for me is definitely dangerous territory im pleased with some of the changes i have made oh a lovely hit drink to help sleep is Golden Milk there are loads of links on it its really lovely so have a look ladues have a good day everyone x

[treehouse]

You are making me feel bad. I have not changed my eating habits at all. For one simple reason I have not been to a shop since November. My husband and mum do all shopping and cooking so I am eating what I am given and appreciate it.when I can drive and shop I will take some control.

[treehouse]

Hi Wolfee. Interesting you should mention mobile phones 📱. They do emit low energy microwaves which have a slight heating effect. There is no evidence that they cause bc or brain tumour but there is research going on. I have never put my phone in my bra. Back pocket! Butt cancer??

[treehouse]

Mishy how frustrating. The whole process seems to drag on. I started filling in the form yesterday. Did you all get advise or did anyone do it themselves? I will probably be back at work by the time they come to check on me!

[treehouse]

Morning all had a GOOD sleep. Went for 2 walks yesterday. My mum keeps wanting me to walk with her as my dad won’t. And then again with husband in the evening. Total 3km. I know that sounds so pathetic and it’s only a stroll down the road twice but it is a big deal for a cardio patient of 6 weeks.
I then had a mug of horlicks and bath . Reading for 20 minuets I couldn’t keep my eyes open!!!!
Woke up once sweating, had a wee and straight back off. So I know I can do it!

[Andi71]

WolfEE,

Lovey, sugar doesnt cause cancer - fact 😃 but, whilst having cancer sugar can feed its growth.  If you are worried about sugars try and switch to all non processed foods.  Natural sugars found in veg and fruit etc are good.  Things like cake, biscuits, sauces, etc have loads of sugar loaded into them including white breads etc.

im adjusting my buying habits too.  Meat, veg and fruit as they are and any treats I’ll make at home replacing sugar with honey which is natural.  We’ll look so fit 😂😂😂 There was a programme on tv last night about carbohydrates and sugar.  Try watching it on catch up.

Would take advice on your burn lovey before your appointment next week maybe.

be kind to yourself today 💜

[Andi71]

Mishy , apologies missed your cancelled PIP post 😬 I guess it gives you more time to firm up any questions you want to ask them and it gives you a bit more time to prepare talking about everything especially as you were nervous before what was today’s meeting.  The 6th is just around the corner xx

[Andi71]

Heather,  definitely apply 😃 You don’t need to go to an interview even if you change your mind, there’s no pressure, you are in control at all times.  If you get an interview, go! It’s all worth it even if it’s just to I still confidence in yourself.  Remember, your in control. Nothing ventured nothing gained 😉

[Andi71]

Mishy,

Good luck today with your PIP meeting.  You do a very rewarding job lovey but as you’ve said, life’s too short, so do something you’ll enjoy over stress any day 💜

I’m sorry to hear of your friends loss, very sad news.  xx

[WolfEE]

Mushy, sorry your appointment has been cancelled nothing worse than getting all hyped up ready and then it not happening. It will be stressful having it hanging over you still until the 6th but the try try forget about it until then. Xxxxx

[Raitchr]

Haven't decided what to do about applying for the work from home job. Closing date is 30 Jan so a bit of time. No rate of pay on ad so a bit vague, less hours but min is 15 hrs and could be more if wanted. Might just send my cv (needs updating) and see what happens. Hubby said I could manage both part time jobs for a few months and see what I prefer, that is if it was offered! He got the look from me of are you kidding, working full time!?

Work will be a go slow tomorrow. I tend to have this attitude when they annoy me, do enough to get by but more than shuffling papers. Doing the minimun hours tomorrow and now finishing earlier to use a bit of annual leave. They tried to swindle me out of 4 hours for Bank holiday entitlement for Boxing Day allowance, good job I checked my timesheet!!

Night all

H

[Raitchr]

Mishy, sorry your PIP appmt is cancelled. I was hoping to pick up a few tips from you for mine next Tues!

[Raitchr]

WolfEE, I did 3 out of 4 weeks on the Moving Forward course. It was ok, I am not very social, more of a wall flower and was forced to talk to people which took me out of comfort zone. I got alot out of it, it answered a few questions that were bothering me and offered a variety of help, not that I needed help that much. It was just nice to be in a room with people who had been through it, people had all sorts of issues and hair styles going on! I would say go on the first one and see how you feel. You are not forced to go again if its not for you. I was more of a listener rather than a speaker, some hogged the floor too much and annoyed me.

[Mishy18]

Was all geared uo for my pip face to face tomorrow and they rand and cancelled on me till 6th feb due to staff illness 😔 i find it difficult knowing i have to speak to someone re the bc and its affect on me was looking forward to getting meeting out of the way i suppose these things cant be helped

[WolfEE]

Prior to the sugar binge I’d done a good few weeks of healthy eating and was trying the 5:2 diet and has lost about half a stone (of my 3 stone weight gain) haven weighed since my blow out though!!

[WolfEE]

I think I’ll do the course it’s not really something I had wanted to do but I’m desperate I’m obsessing over silly things. I travelled miles and miles at the weekend to a farm shop to buy organic chicken and eggs (chicks not fed growth hormones) only to find out they (and most organic chickens) are fed a special organic feed that contains soy!! So I binged on cake and sugar in my diapair I worry about chicken but scoff sugar that is also supposed 2 be a big cancer causing food. I spend hours reading bottles in the supermarket isles on cleaning products, soaps etc and don’t buy anything I was in Tesco for almost 3 hours the other day on my own just reading.
My swollen fingers with the use of the glove had started getting a bit better it also could be that more time has passed since radiotherapy but then stupidly I burnt my arm on steam from boiling egg pan and it has flaired my hand up quite swollen and sore but my follow up at the lymphadema clinic to learn massage is next week.
Oh and I know it was a few days ago poor Treehouse was getting angry and wound up but have you had this one yet???
My associate can’t really call friend said my cancer is from my mobile phone in my bra (I have never put my phone in my bra, money and even mint polos but never my phone) !! Bit of corse she is right and that will Be why.

[Andi71]

WolfEE - lovely to hear your still about 😃 I think the moving on course will be of huge benefit.  We think we’re all doing ok and coping with the odd melt down, but if there’s proper help out there for us, then I think we should take it.

[Andi71]

Mai - It’s good to hear you slept well last night.  Getting up twice in an evening is excellent in my book 😃 I’ve not got it down to that yet. I too go to the loo if I’m awake, purely so that it’s not my bladder waking me next time! I normally wake up due to a massive hot flush.  It lasts a good 5 minutes then I go freezing cold. 

It sounds sensible holding off any reconstructive surgery especially as you’ve had rads.  I think my choice of reconstruction was a good one, purely due to it being your own body that’s used.  I think for some people they see it as a pretty radical choice due to length of surgery and creating another surgical site etc but now I’m through the other side of it I would recommend it.  

Thanks for for telling me about your lovely travels around Croatia 😃 I’m getting excited about going.  Haven’t booked it yet as trying to decide if May or October schools would be a good time.  We are spending 2 weeks in st ives in the Summer hols, so a bit difficult to tag another week 10 days on top of that with James’s work.

I think your doing incredibly well getting up and getting into work!  I hope your evenings are relaxing!!

[katie11]

Oh misy keep going with rads. You will soon get there. Good luck with next step. I was fortunate enough that my hospital had it's own radiotherapy car park that was free.

I only had to send in CV for interview so didn't have to mention it. Think I will discuss situation at interview. Its at my local doctors anyway so can't really hide the fact !

Hope you enjoyed your duvet day Heather. I had one onight Friday with my youngest when he was ill.

Hope everyone else OK on this cold. Wet horrible day x

[misyangel]

Katie good luck with interview, did you mention the c word at all in your application. I am in no rush to look for work but wandering how I explain not being in employment since diagnosis as I was laid off one month prior to diagnosis which was last may since I stopped work.  It must be scary for you after 10 years with the same company, but it could be chance for brand new fresh start 🌈

heather check your sick pay policy at work it is usually a rolling 12 months for any sickness so you may not get full pay if you have exhausted your six months you won't usually get it again till been back at work for 12 months.  As regards looking for another job why don't you wait and see what your pip outcome is, I was allocated it for three years from sept 2017

i have had another date to have my overies out so now go in on the 27th Feb which is the day after my birthday.  I finish radio on 14th Feb so have a couple of weeks with no hospital appointments thank goodness. Only on 4th radio and it is tiring going the hospital every day epecially as have to get there one hour before appointment to try and get a parking space as the parking is really bad.

[Raitchr]

Watching The Emoji movie with my little poorly boy. Been off school for 2 days with a bad cold and cough. Tucked up on the sofa for a snuggle.

[katie11]

Morning ladies. Finally starting to feel human again after bugs. All of us had it at some point last week so hadon't hellish week!

Heather. Definitely go on sick. Surely that can't expect that of any of you if it has never previously happened and surely finance manager should be over seeing things? I'd be fuming to !

Jay. I still suffer from rads and I finished end of October. It's like a cycle on repeat. I'm fine then couple of weeks later I have dry skin. Sore under arm and sore ribs. Then it's just goes again! Think I under estimated radiotherapy!

Sounds like some exciting birthday and celebrations happening at the minute which is lovely to hear xx

Well. I've got a job interview on Monday. I'm so nervous i had been at old job over 10 years so am scared about starting again somewhere new and especially after past year. Feel like confidence has well and truly been knocked out of me.

[Shi]

H, what a 😤😤😤😤like mai who is always the wise voice of reason said speak to Mcmillan 1st to see if there are discrimination policies in place then hit her with it if there are, you could potentially have them by the 🏀🏀🏀then if not, don’t do anything or give any indications of anything carry on and 😁😁😁then go self cert for 1st week of the you are not allowed holiday period, then get signed off with stress. It’s appalling how you are being treated but don’t do anything rash job wise and if they do want to sack you or lay you off at a later date then they need to be careful as you could claim discrimination. 💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[Jay68]

Mishy - the onc appointment I have in Feb is not a special post-rads app - it's 8 weeks from end of rads and it's when the majority of side effects should be out of the way.  However, I have been reading it's not unusual to get aches and pains from rads some way off in the future (what a thought!).  I don't see my surgeon until March.  I will then continue to see onc every 3 months until end of June when I think herceptin injections iend but I will find all that out when I see her on 13 Feb. x

[Mishy18]

Treehouse your wals sound lovely just what you need i think i agree with you re this forum it has helped get through some of my 💩times during this
H follow your heart re work do what makes you happy
Ladies no post rads app for me?! See onc in March for my 3 monthly check and surgeon in Feb but no post rads!!
Glad to see everyone is doing ok and hope you all have a good day today x

[treehouse]

Heather I understand your dilemma and I feel for you. You can still apply and ask lots of questions. If it’s really not for you don’t take the job. But I am starting to look more short term. And what is best for me and the family. I don’t have any answers yet I just hope I notice when the right opportunity comes along. I do know I will not be going back full time to what I was doing before. It would kill me.
Rant away if it helps

[treehouse]

Morning. Slept from midnight til 6:00 . I think I had a wake up and fidget in the night but nothing compared to usual. It’s a good night, I’ll take that. We swapped back to the winter duvet as we were both waking up cold and hunting for blankets or dressing gowns. But now keep the window open. I don’t think there is a magic formula just luck. We also walked 1.5km last night so maybe I was physically more tired. I do enjoy my walks just need a kick up the back side sometimes to get out of the house. I don’t mind going in the evening, it’s dark and no one is about. It’s when my husband offloads his day and I listen to him talk. I think he finds it as therapeutic as I do but for different reasons.
I am definitely starting to feel like a person rather than a patient. Reading about many of you coming to the end of treatment or returning to work makes me realise how far we have come. ( I am so busy plodding with my head down I don’t stop to look up very often). Work enters my head from time to time. Husband asked me to help him with done paperwork last night. I actually managed it. My foggy brain 🧠 still works. He could see I was so proud of myself. I will get there with time.
My god it has been a long and difficult road without enough sign posts.
I really couldn’t have done this without you all x x x x
😍

[Raitchr]

I get up 06.30 week days too. Alarm goes off 06.10 to allow for snooze which I hate doing but sometimes need!

[Raitchr]

Have spent the evening job hunting on the internet! Have found a work from home, admin and accounts, part time job which would be ideal. Doing something different, working from home. Now I cant decide what to do. Apply for it, if I get it what if I am sick again, wont get sick pay. Loose my local gov pension and benefits. Or just plod on in the same job...

[Mai7]

Andi, we visited all of those places in one trip except the island of Brac, that was a trip many years ago.  We flew to Zagreb and hired a car, stayed one night in Zagreb, drove to Plitvice where we stayed 2 nights, then drove to Zadar (where you can watch the sunset from the sea organ, incredible) where we stayed 2 nights, then drove to Split where we stayed 4 nights and took a boat trip over to Hvar from Split. I think we stopped off at Krka en-route to Split. The kids loved it.  I'd like to have reconstructive surgery but I have to wait at least a year. Partly because I'm high risk for recurrence and they want to keep a watch on the area and partly because of the radiotherapy.  I don't know whether recon is possible yet but I'll definitely want to meet with the surgeon in a year to discuss.  I slept well last night but I still woke up twice for no apparent reason then I start thinking about my bladder......maybe I'll get back to sleep quicker with an empty bladder....then I have a big gulp of water.....eventually get back to sleep and repeat the whole process again about 2 hours later!  

Jay, what a fabulous surprise from your husband.  You've been together all these years and you are still getting to know him with new surprises like that!  Enjoy your birthday week!  You have to get up for work at exactly the same time as me 6.30am.  I have to get out of bed straight away, no snooze time ☹️ Snooze time allowance would mean setting the alarm even earlier and 6.30 is early enough so it's a rude awakening I'm afraid.

Heather, that really sucks, can't your boss be a bit more understanding about your situation and allow your return to be managed without stress?  Surely you need to be protected a bit from the pressure of harsh deadlines like year end!!  At least for your first year back whilst you recover.  Do you have an occupational health dept to discuss your needs?

[Mishy18]

I have my pip meeting on Wed morning i will let you know how it goes im keeping everything crossed as im only planning on returning to work part time i just hope im able to cope with the environment when i get back its really stressful the job can be equally very rewarding as i do activity with people living with Dementia ans Alzheiemers but its very full on with many challenges of behaviour at times i so want nit to be having stressful days at work like i used to, i might have to consider something else if i feel its not right for me any more def not well enough to return yet though i am totally wiped out following rads surely this can't be normal!
A dear friend of mine had some awful news this weekend, her 21 year old nephew was killed in a car crash travelling home from work he was going to ask his girlfriend to get engaged, black ice was the cause if accident it really upset me to think a young lad a few months older than my son could be tragically taken away from his loved ones life is so bloody precious and equally fragile i truly intend to do everything to live my life i have been given back and leave nithing to regrets x
Hoping you ladies are well treehouse hope you are sleeping better and surgery ladies hope you are giving yourselves plenty of time to get well and not being to hard in yourselves
H get yourself on the sick if you get no joy you deserve better than the treatment you are getting from yoyr employers i think they must think our treatment is like have a long course of antibiotics abd once we are finished we are right as rain again!!!

[Jay68]

Hi Wolfee - lovely to hear you've been lurking and to finally have a comment from you!  

How do you feel about doing the moving forward course?  Personally, not for me but each of us is different.  

How are you doing, how's the hand? x

[treehouse]

Hi wolfee it’s been a while. Good to hear from you xxxx
I’m glad they have contacted you about the moving forward. How do you feel about it?
Are you coping with work and returning to normal life? Whatever normal is?
I have not heard from breast surgeon since Nov. Onc said I could continue with herceptin but I have not had a letter yet.
No one seems interested in menopause whenever I mention it.

[WolfEE]

Hi girls xxxxxx
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m still lurking about checking what your all doing just not commenting 2 much. Hahah x
I’ve just been sent info about doing the six session moving forward course one of the Macmillan nurses wrote to me and said she thinks it may help me it starts in February.

[Andi71]

Heather,
I would do exactly as the others have said. Bide your time until you know you’ll get full pay off with stress. Some employers really do take the biscuit.
I was in a job (not my last one) and wanted to rearrange my working hours due to the kids needing more of my time due to anxiety brought about by their dads drinking. I wrote a letter outlining the benefits to the company with me working these hours, explained I was getting stressed with work life balance and although HR were incredibly sympathetic and said I wrote a good report, my manager threw it out! So I waited until a Friday before 2 key staff were to go on annual leave, one for 2 weeks and the other for 3 weeks, and slapped a sick note in her hand and then resigned because I found another job in that time. It couldn’t have worked out better really. I later heard they were in a right middle when I went.
You must put you and your family first. And if your hubby can change his job like you said, it’ll help you even more.
Time to be canny lovey 💕

[Shi]

Jay, I was just about to say to say get signed off with stress if fact h, go for 6 months and enjoy the full school holidays with your children let me manager who it doesn’t apply to pick up the pieces (if he’s in) cheeky bar stewards🥊🥊🥊🥊sorry but it does call for a few of them 💕💕💕✨✨✨✨shi xx

[Jay68]

Oh H - not the kind of treatment anyone should expect but least of all when you've been through the mill like you have. How thoughtless of them - I'm getting cross for you my lovely!

Yes go to GP's, if they sign you off with stress there's not a thing they can do about it. Not the way anyone wants to deal with it but they really are leaving you no alternative.

Good luck with the PIP meeting - every cloud has a silver lining - so fingers crossed.

J x