I dont think they are trying to get rid of me, the block on holiday applies to the whole department, which is around 20 of us. There are 3 of us with children so we cant just take hols when we want like the others. Husband has applied for a job as currently freelance but work is so quiet. If he gets it then I think I will leave my job and take a break and find a work from home job. I work to live not live to work so maybe timeout is what is needed.
Heather, sweet dreams tonight with your FitBit 😴😴😴
I’m tempted to buy something to help me keep motivated with exercise .... once I actually start exercising that is!! 😂
Rosie, you were definately NOT being harsh 😃 I valued everything you said and it really helped me focus and drag me out of my ‘poor me’ moment. Sitting at home and being unable to do much unfortunately let’s your mind wander, and for me it left me thinking about this whole last year starting with Davids death.
I realised how much mental strength and bravery I had to go through with treatment and looking after two very distraught kids and still work at the same time. I took on too much and forgot about me in all of it. It’s at that point I broke down and thought blimey how have I managed.
Like you, I normally just put my head down and tackle what’s in front of me and emotions don’t usually get a look in because you kind of know that it could be a slippery path if you allow yourself to get overly emotionally involved at the enormity of everything.
Im so happy that you’ve felt well enough to get out there and do normal things. I’m looking forward to doing lunch with friends etc! 😃 I’m glad you have an understanding boss, it’ll just take the pressure off you knowing your supported when you have off days. In a way I’m envious of you working ladies, I do miss my job, but my headspace couldn’t commit to going back to work and being as effect as I was before all of this.
My job now is to put the kids first again and to wind up my ex’s estate, sell his house etc and deal with creditors etc. because although Lauren is 18, no one expects her to put herself through that whilst she’s still grieving and doing A’levels. I’m so proud of her, she has gained the college placement she wants next year 😃 Both of my daughters make me very proud, if only their dad could see them.
Its always lovey to hear how you are doing. I’m now 2 weeks and 3 post op. I have a little more bend in my belly 😃 every day is slightly better than the last. xx
Evening ladies, just to say I won't be on here for a couple of days as I'm off to London for the weekend! More birthday celebrations...! However, I do wish you all a happy and healthy weekend of doing lots of fun (but not naughty!) things!
Take care xx
Treated myself to a FitBit Alta HR, will see how well I actually sleep compared to how I think I sleep.I even set it up myself, no IT assistance required.
Heather, you are entitled to react however you wish about anything lovey.
It’s very frustrating when we feel that others don’t share the same viewpoint as our own, especially when it comes to family time/annual leave etc. Unfortunately your boss is treating you like he would had you not been all through this, like any other employee in that business. Some bosses unfortunately are cr*p like that, with very little understanding. I’ve had many bosses in my time who would have done the same to me.
I think what’s important is that you put your needs first, and by the sounds of it that’s what your doing by applying for another job. You know your worth at the end of the day, you know what will make you happy, and if that means changing jobs then look to your future with excitement at your new opportunity. I’ve been where you are now. Whilst your in it, emotionally everything feels very unjust and unfair and it hurts and it makes changing jobs feel a little scary. But I have to say in hindsight that me quitting that job was the best thing 😃 Trust your choices. You’ll be fine xxx
Oh Andi, hope I wasn’t being too harsh but glad you are feeling better and more positive. I know you’ve had a really tough year. Got everything crossed for you for results day , good that you didn’t have any nodes involved and now you’ve had mx it will hopefully be onwards and upwards.
I’m quite a practical person and tend not to dwell on things too much by keeping busy but I’m not always sure it’s the best way to be as I also shut a lot of the emotion off. I worry that it might all catch up with me eventually
It’s a great idea to plan for your year off and start thinking of more enjoyable things. I’ve loved the past few weeks of finally feeling well and able to exercise, lunch/ dinner with friends, shopping and meeting up for coffee. I only have another week before my return to work.
I phoned my boss to explain about going on Cape and he was amazing. Just said come in next Weds and we’ll put together a plan for the next six months working round what might be my worst days and including lots of working from home and shorter days.
I have spent the evening making a last minute job application for an admin job at my son's school. Closing date is Monday 9am. It is less hours, less money but term time only so no holiday issues. I must be mad, but hoping PIP may make the difference in finances for a year. Fingers crossed for PIP and a new job!!
So not very proud of myself but had a complete meltdown at work re holidays again. Manager confirmed no hols for me at Easter or May half term. I said that wasnt good enough, how much stress they are causing, burst in to tears and walked out to another office. My boss (male) just left me to it, gone to a meeting on the train in Wakefield and wouldn't be back today. He is also on hols (!) all of next week. Just heard on news East Coast trains have been delayed at Newark all day because to fatality on track. That is sad that someone was so alone and down that that was the only way to deal with it. My boss has been stuck on the train since 10am. I dont feel at all sorry for my boss, the other person I do.
Looked at my contract and I can go on full pay sick after 17 March as have to wait a year from 1st day of long term sick. Husband suggested I dont take hols and request all 7 weeks off in one go over summer or every Weds until I have used my hols. They have to agree to something.
Oh well hope you are all well and enjoy the weekend.
Thanks ladies for your thoughts - blood test first and heart scan second - all done!
Remembered advice from chemo days re blood test, tight sleeve - couple pints of water an hour before and lots of hand clenching - excellent result - vein found straight away, needle in and blood out - all done in 2 minutes!
Heart scan - had to wait 15 mins before she could access my records but then once called in all done and back out in 10 minutes! Heart was found - hubby was not happy as he couldn't see his name etched on it....! Got home to find next appointment in the post for 3 April!
That's it now til 13 February - onc review.
Rosie, thank you for the pep talk 😘 I’m doing better now than I was. I decided to write a ‘to do list’ of things that I’d like to do in my year off, just stuff to benefit mind,body and soul. It made me feel good and gives me something to work to.
Im sorry that you’ve got to now start taking Cape. I guess taking it in tablet form will be a lot better than IV so that’s a bonus. It seems we all get given something, like Tamoxifen etc. I get to hear how my next stage will be once I’ve had my oncology appointment on 31st. I had no nodes involved, so it’ll be interesting xx
Treehouse I had a couple of white stitches popping out after my op and my husband tried to pull them and they pulled a little bit then got stuck. So he put a plaster over and the next morning they had gone ergggh it was horrible.
Making the most of this afternoon ... back to hospital tomorrow morning for blood test and heart scan!!!
Tatyana - enjoy your well earned holiday, hopefully with lots of sunshine.
You fortunately have a lot of support around you so make the most of it and enjoy the time away with your husband! x
Tatyana, have an amazing holiday 😎 catch up with you when you get back xx
Mai - yes I’m really not looking forward to getting back on the chemo treadmill. Have just booked a holiday to Kefalonia at the end of May but onc says we can work round it. I think I can come off/ go back on it as it’s just a preventative measure. And I shouldn’t lose my hair - that was my main reason for agreeing to it😂
Annoyingly, I had just been classed as super fit the day before! Health MOT put me in the top 30% of women my age in the UK and cardiovascular tests classed me as elite😳 After the year I’ve had I’ll take that!
Looks like that may change in the next six months as I may not be able to carry on swimming but at least my starting point is good.
Tatyana have a wonderful holiday, !eave the last year and any worries at home. Come back relaxed and refreshed.
Tatyana, I'm so pleased you are still able to take a holiday before more chemo and how lovely everyone is being for you. That must be so comforting. X
Rosie, hope you are coping ok with the idea of more chemo and I'm glad you and Tatyana can support each other through SEs. X
WolfEE, here's the best site I've found about the big soya/phytoestrogen debate: http://marnieclark.com/phytoestrogens-harmful-or-beneficial-for-hormone-driven-breast-cancer/
Good evening ladies, it's officially feet up time for me as I am absolutely exhausted!
I've had the best birthday ever - and everyone has been truly amazing! I've been well and truly spoilt and just so grateful to be alive and make the big 50!! x
WolfEE, hope you are ok. It's really hard to not get obsessed with food and everything but mobile phones in bras, really!! REALLY!! What a load of codswallop! Try and think about foods in moderation. I think it's the cumulative effect of having too much of the wrong foods in a regular basis. Just keep the balance healthy. Remember it's active tumours that burn glucose and yours is gone now (sometimes you need to be reminded of that) so just avoid sugar as part of a healthy diet which applies to anyone. The soya thing, I struggle to get my head around. I found a good article recently which I'll post for you which looks at the debate. If there is a good health and/or vegan shop in your area that may be a good place to get some of your shopping and you don't need to read labels as that's all been done. You don't realise how much rubbish supermarkets sell until you try and eat healthier. Everything seems to have sugar, milk and/or soya added. Why oh why?
Katie, yes the weather was awful this mmorning, it was so windy I thought I was going to be blown over then the torrential rain, thank goodness I have a good waterproof and wind proof jacket! Best of luck with the job hunting.
Shi, I'm loving your strategy for Heather! 😂 Heather, try and stay calm about it and bide your time, something else will come up. You could stay in the public sector if you want to keep the pension, just not that bit if it by the sound of things!
Andi, sending hugs. Sometimes you fall apart for a day and sometimes for a moment so just let it happen and try again tomorrow. You are doing really well so just give yourself time. You've been through a lot. 💗
I've read up quite a bit on vitamin D. Magnesium helps you absorb it so if you are deficient in magnesium then you can't absorb vitamin D properly. Vitamin K also works with vitamin D to help transport calcium to the bones and away from depositing in soft tissue.
I've been back at the office full time and I must admit the morning I felt slightly fatigued temporarily, just a few seconds of feeling slightly dizzy and vertigo but it went off again. I don't feel tired, I think it's just the psychological fatigue of acting normal whilst a hundred thoughts about BC are whizzing around in my head. I have a bone scan next Tuesday ready for starting the clinical trial. If that's clear then I'll be randomised for drug or placebo next.
Holiday, or not being able to take holiday is pushing me over the edge this week at work. I am allowed Feb half term, nothing at Easter and now there is a qyestion over if I can have May half term, despite emailing my boss last Sept to request it. This is to do with office cover. I had a melt down and said why am I expected to work from Feb until 20July with no break? I am on phased return and need the hols for rest and spending time with my children. Tried to call their bluff today and said I am booking the next 9 Weds off as holiday. Weds is our busiest day for invoices and not usually allowed to take it unless part of a weeks holiday. Didnt go down well with them, I just put my coat on and left as it was my time to finish anyway...oh the joys of work!!
Shi - I think because you had surgery first, your chemo and rads are the “mop up” I had chemo first so when I had surgery they was some cancer left, I didn’t get a PCR (pathologically complete response) so I need a “mop up” now. I suppose that’s one advantage of neoadjuvant chemo, they can see the effect chemo has on the tumour. You should go back to your onc after rads and then have 6 monthly or annual check ups.
I’m not having rads because I had mx and my sentinel node was clear. Onc did consider it yesterday but decided rads would not be of any benefit to me but Cape would. For people who have rads, Cape can be given afterwards.
Oh Heather you must be really fed up. What a day! The work situation sounds awful, you really don’t need all this stress. Hopefully, another suitable job will come up and you can tell them to get stuffed 😂😂
Re vit D. I dont know if I am/was deficient but started taking high dose about a month ago. Keep seeing info on various websites about it. Onco, Gp etc didnt say I was low but taking it anyway.