Worked there 9 years and never been banned from holiday. I just work purchase ledger/creditors, not even in the main Accountancy section. Doesn 't apply to FM as he has nothing to do with Year end apparantly, don't ask me what he does do as I have no idea. Will have to look at contract to see what it says. Seriously considering going to GPs in March and saying I cant cope with work stress. Have to be out of my phased return period otherwise half pay again.Got another meeting next Weds but not when I am in the office, may have to change hours to attend it. Have suggested to husband he get a proper job so I can stay at home. Got my PIP meeting next week so see how much I get if any at all!
Rant warning. Work today, was told that we cannot take any holiday in April when my boys are off school. It is year end at work and all leave is banned. So asked how can I take 3 weeks that I am owed as want to be off with boys. Have always had 2 weeks at Easter with them as we usually go to Spain. They said take them out of school in term time then. Really? What planet are they on?? I then said ok, can I book 2 weeks from 19 March until 3 April (I am not seriously thinking of doing it but to make a point). They said no as too close to year end! My next question was does this apply to the whole department including the Finance Manager as he has kids at school? No, it doesn't apply to him! Next questions was can work organised childminders to look after our children if we are forced to work? My team is 3 part time working mothers. No, why on earth would work organise it. So we can work! Anyway was close to telling them to stuff their job today. Came home in a mood. Rant over!
I am also finding that I have tenderness in the chest and round to underarm. It seems worse at night. In fact last night, I woke up with a sharp pain around my scar. Most of the time it is fine but I still feel more comfortable with my little heart cushion under my affected arm.
I have my six week post rad appointment on Monday so will ask if that is normal.
Have a good day everyone.
Hi Andi, I remember it took at least two weeks to feel even vaguely normal! I didn’t have any swelling but stomach was quite tender for probably six weeks although it gradually improved each week, in that although I was aware of it the tenderness became less and less of a problem. To be honest I had more boob tenderness and thought that would never go.
I’m about 9 and a half weeks post op now and it all feels fine, there are numb areas but I think they will always be there, ie round the scar. I’d had two c-sections previously so it was numb anyway and they just reopened that scar and made it longer.
The belly button is yucky but you will get there. I was advised to clean it with a wet cotton bud just gently roll it round but don’t force it and gradually all the gunge will come out. Mine is still a bit red but gunge free now. I didn’t remove the tape for first four weeks as they didn’t give me any until then and by that time the scar wasn’t so tender.
It does get you down I know, I think because it comes on top of 6 months of chemo and you think you’ll never feel well again, but you will and it will feel even better because of what you’ve been through. Wearing the bra, knickers and tights 24/7 does get you down but I’m sure it doesn’t make too much difference if you leave them off now and again.
I’m exercising again now and that’s helped as I’ve had shoulder problems since mx and I’m trying to get into shape before going back to work. Mainly swimming but also body balance class where we do a lot of stretching. I have a Health MOT at the gym today and she will give me a programme of exercises to help.
When do you go back to the hospital again?
How are you doing now lovey? How many weeks post op are you now and what have you been up to?
Ive got a question or 2 😃 ...
2 weeks after your operation how would you describe how your tummy felt?
Mine is still swollen and the weirdest thing is that the skin sensation around my belly button is numb. Did you experience this?
Also, your belly button ... how long was it before yours was glue free?! I’m not keen to poke about this area just yet but it gets soap and water to it daily when I shower.
Also, when did your tummy not feel sensitive/sore to having the tape removed to be replaced? I’m really not looking to pulling mine off 😬 Feel light headed at the thought! After everything we’ve been through you’d think this would be the last of my concerns!
I hope you are doing really well 💕
I know what your meaning lovey 🙂 and it’s so good to hear men expressing their feeling and stories on line too 👍🏻
Oh how lovely that your hubby kicked off your birthday celebrations with a surprise meal with those closest to you! I’m so happy you had a great evening and hats off for staying up so late!! I’d sneak another nap in later if the mood takes you 😉
I wonder what Wednesday will bring?! ... 🎁
As soon as you are able to lay on your side comfortably you’ll be sleeping for hours!! Hold onto that thought lovey 💜
It’s how I am getting through each night at the minute, knowing each day I am healing and getting closer to getting into the sleep position I want to be in. But in the moment at 1am and 3am admittedly I’m cursing away!! Like you, there seems to be no way of controlling my broken body thermostat! If there was something to fix that how wonderful things would be! We’d all be a lot happier. I also don’t like climbing into bed, I see it as a place of restricted movement, lack of sleep, discomfort, hot sweats and soreness. Oh well, time will sort this 😃
I think it’s good you’ve been reading other people’s blogs on heart surgery, hopefully what you read will make you feel more ‘normal’ if you know what I mean. I hope the ladies on that site are as fantastic as the ones we’ve come to know on here! Will be interesting to see if you set off the detectors at the airport!! That little card you’ve been given could well prove to be your get out of jail free card 😉
Sending you big hugs lady 💕 xx
Wolfee, Daffodil, MJK and Katie - a post rads question!
Especially those who had MX (with lymph removal) - did you or have you got the same feelings inside as you had post surgery? ie bruised ribs and stiffness in the affected arm/chest areas? 8 weeks following surgery and before rads began, all this had disappeared. I know, from my final review with the radiologist specialist she said 6-8 weeks for full recovery and I'm only just 4 weeks but I am beginning to wonder if these areas will ever feel anything like they did before rads began?!
On the outside - all looks good now but it's just these internal weird sensations that are consuming my mind....
Early birthday celebrations began for me over the weekend - my goodness, I'm exhausted!
Started yesterday lunchtime - hubby announced Saturday - "why don't we go out for lunch tomorrow?!" - he's never suggested this quite so spur of the moment in the all time (32 years) of knowing him - so that was a huge surprise - he even made a "phone call" to book a table! We arrived at 2pm - I was starving(!) - pub was very busy - one table I could see was free - reserve plate had a different surname(?) - hubby announced our arrival and lady behind bar directed him to the room at the back - upon entering there was all my nearest and dearest family..... WOW! what a surprise! It truly was wonderful. Had a delicious 3 course meal and thoroughly enjoyed it. Got home 5ish - off out 6.30 to meet up with hubby's 2 brothers and sister and their other halves - an evening of reminiscing and laughter - just fantastic.
Got home and in bed by 11.30 - exhausted.... fell asleep by 12 - woke 4 for toilet and took an hour to drop back off, woke rudely at 6.30 by the alarm clock.... hence, I've returned to bed and planning a little nap before going to work today!
The big Birthday is Wednesday and next weekend is our big weekend in London........!
Wow you really have done Croatia!! Were you there for 2 weeks or did you do all these areas in separate trips?! My problem is I like the look of every one of those areas!
I hope you slept like a baby after your lovely soak in the bath. I managed to only wake 3 times in the night, unbelievable! 😃
Have you thought about having reconstructive surgery Mai? Im just voicing a thought based on your comments about your operation site. And you are by no means a freak! You are a strong beautiful women who has bravely fought to be here today!!! 💕
Andi, Croatia is amazing. I've been to Split, Zadar, Plitvice, Krka, Zagreb, Hvar and Brac and recommend seeing all of them! Glad you had some braless sleep.
Treehouse, I go through different phases about my scar. Sometimes I'm like Janis and feel its part of my survival and I'm alive because of it. Sometimes I wish I just had a scar on a boob instead of an empty space as I feel like a freak. I don't get upset about it but deep in my soul I'm sure there are buried tears.
I just had an amazing long bath with Epsom salts and aromatherapy oils, so relaxing. Camomile tea and off to bed!
Tatyana - Greece for 2 weeks!! 🌞🏖 gosh how lovely to have that to look forward to and so close!! Just what’s needed. I’m desperately wanting an overseas break. Got to fit it in around Herceptin jabs every 3 weeks and school hols though. Your dentist surgery sounds lovely!!! Little kind gestures truly do make a difference. Mine unfortunately is private and I paid £84 for a check up and x-rays. My dentist doesn’t have a great bedside manner. Looking to maybe swap.
big hugs lady 💕 xx
Treehouse - I know what you mean - I struggle with my breast. I guess seeing our scars is a real reminder of what we’ve been through, and it’s hard to digest the enormity of it all. A year plus ago we were all going about our lives normally, totally unaware of what was to come. We are all like wounded soldiers, having done battle with this disease and it will have an impact on us all until we feel more consoled that we have lived through it.
I have tape all around my new flap of skin which has effectively replaced my nipple for now. I feel quite sicky/lightheaded when I see it, but I’m making myself look at it. I’m still very bruised and swollen.
My belly button is full of purple glue and internal stitches. So of course I’m scared to touch it, but I know I’ve got to let water and soap do it’s thing and bravely remove it 😬
My tummy scar is big (hip to hip) but is covered by tape so I’m less fragile about it. I have to remove this tape once a week for 5 weeks and the glue lifts off as you unpeel it, it’s gross 😬
On a positive note, I’ts good to hear you’ve a lovely family holiday booked!! 👨👩👦👦👒👙🧢🕶🌞🏊🏼♂️🛫🏖 It’ll be a holiday to remember!!
We are looking to go to Croatia. It’s a beautiful country, lots of beaches and places to visit. Lauren said her criteria was ‘beach and culture please!’ Jessica’s was ‘short flight please’. The youngest is easier to please 😃 Currently ‘surfing’ holiday websites.
Sending you big hugs lady 💕 And your scar .... won’t bother others around you, they’ll be in absolute awe if anything. Plus there are creams on the market that’ll help reduce its ‘look’. xx
So last night I broke all the rules purely for my own sanity and sleep!
Off came the post op bra that’s been cutting into my underarm and making me feel sore and uncomfortable. So much for being the right size according to bc nurses. So I wore a vest top instead. Then off came my oversized suck my tummy in pants and I wore normal knickers...... I actually slept 7 hours!!!
I have woken up a different person. Today I’m taking back control and behaving sensibly with my post op getup. So James is upsizing my bras to ones with adjustable straps too to make life more bearable, and the big girl pants are the right size, so having to wear them again. Tiredness certainly made me more emotional yesterday so I’m hopeful tonight will be better than late. On the plus side, I can now put my own socks on 😁 small triumphs!
Mishy - How lovey having cuddles with your baby granddaughter, very special moments to be cherished. I suppose it’s also lovely having her as the perfect distraction to other stuff going on.
i am feeling better today thank you. I think I needed my melt down to help me shift forwards again. xx
Heather - you stole the words right out of my mouth!!! - exactly how I feel - I had no option!
On another subject, did anyone see this weeks' 24 hours in A&E - what a tragic turn of events which made me beam at the end - reminded me, in a way, of us ladies, coming together and supporting each other throughout and after the traumas. x
I am used to my scar now. Had my op last March. I dont look at it often but when I do I just remember it saved my life.
Shame we are not there at the same time Treehouse, would have been good to met up. We are in Orlando for the first week then a week on the beach. Have been quite a few times before so no disney but doing Universal with the boys for the first time.
Sorry to hear you're under the weather MJK - dose yourself up and hope you feel better very soon.
Well done Buddyfan and Treehouse on having booked holidays. Something lovely to look forward to.
😢 I’m having one of those days, can’t stop crying, can’t get comfy, can’t sit for any length of time, boob is sore, tummy sore, sore throat, bunged up nose, exhausted and I can’t even get excited about going to bed to sleep because I’m not sleeping! I’ve had enough today, I just want to feel ok again.
I quite agree it's definitely a dressing gown day - I didn't actually put clothes on until 2.30 - and only did that cos I wanted to go visit my Dad and take the dog out for a walk!
Wore one of the shorter wigs round to see my Dad - first thing he did - laugh - 2ndly said - it makes your face look fat and 3rdly I like it very much! I said perhaps I'll stick with the current one to which he replied - no it's very nice and suits you - it makes you look more.... mature! Thanks Dad!!! Love him really! x
Glad you have nice holidays booked BuddyFan anTreehouse. Something nice to look forward to. 😍
Andi, tamoxifen is going fine after 6-7 weeks though I'm on a break from it whilst I wait to start a clinical trial. Can't have more than 8weeks of endocrine therapy before start and am now waiting at least two weeks to have CT and bone scans before I'm accepted. I'm ER/PR+ HER2-.
I had a good but busy week at work full time but coped pretty well, just have persistent lower back ache. We went to the cinema last night to see Three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. I was good, subtle but good dark humour distributed well. The soundtracks were also good and the song titles resonate well! https://youtu.be/h4EfNhK4Ep0
Have a lovely weekend everyone. Xxx