Well I'm finally feeling well enough to post on the forum. Today is day 12 after my 2nd c, I never imagined it would hit me so hard, I really did get away with it lightly on the 1st c, had the chemo on the Wed and by the Saturday I felt more like my old self, this time, it felt like I'd been hit by a sledge hammer. To make matters worse my emotions have been a roller coaster ride and ladies, I'm a bit of a control freak regarding my emotions, I only ever cry at Lassie films, so don't watch them.
I wonder if anyone else has allowed irrational emotions to influence thier decision about having further chemo treatment. I won't bore you with all the details, but restrictions of not being able to dance and other things, seem to be taunting me to throw in the towel. Today of course I'm back on the level, thank goodness, and realise how irrational my thoughts were. It did'nt help I just kept crying all the time, every day all day, for no reason.
I've only ever had flu once, I was so ill and the chemo made me feel like I had flu, all day every day. I was only able to eat dry cream crackers and rice biscuets for seven days, started eating soup on day eight and by day 10, I was back to normal.
Now my brain has gone into overdrive and I'm going mad blanching veg for the freezer and other mad hatter things, almost trying to make up for lost time.
I've got to say, the nurses at the chemo unit are wonderful, so careing and kind, even my community nurse who gives me my injections is a wonder and spares time to help with questions and always gives me a big hug and says how well I'm doing. I've not seen or heard anything from my bcn since just after my op, when she mis diagnosed me as not having an infection in my wound and it was infected.
Does anyone else get support from there bcn?
I love reading how a lot of ladies on here are getting support from their families and friends, it gives me a feel good factor for them, but feel sad for those that are on their own, I just want to rap my arms around you.
If anyone had said a year ago I would be going through this, I would have thought, no I've got too many things I want to do next year, I won't have time to get cancer. But what it has revealed is the truth about those who said they cared about me and the surprise of those who hardly know me but have stepped forward to offer support, even complete strangers.
When I think about giving up chemo, I read about those of you who have young children and how you are working through this and think, if these mums can do it, then so can I.
I so admire you all and even though our daughter has turned her back on us, my freind said, what about all the hedgehogs you look after, they need you, you can't give up on them.
My doctor told me to eat loads of green veg, it helps raise the white count, when I've finished all this next year, I'm going to look like a cabbage, spring green or kale, but it does work and so far both times, by count has been high, but I do draw the line at brussel sprouts.
Has anyone on here, who does sewing, carried on, I want to get my machine out and make some tunics, but the nurse at the unit said she has concerns about injury with needles etc to my hands and can you give any advise?
I am so glad I have you all to talk too, on the days when I feel I'm totally alone, I read your posts and feel just a little bit better.
